Monday, October 31, 2011        Edition: #4619
Sheeters Always Prosper!

• 19-year-old Frances Bean Cobain recently inherited a large fortune from her late father, Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. She used the money to buy herself a $1.8-million house near LA’s Runyon Canyon. Now a close friend of Cobain’s has confirmed that she’s engaged to marry Isaiah Silva, lead singer for local band The Rambles, and they’ve moved in together in the big house. (Dude, you hit the jackpot!)
– “In Touch Weekly”
• Heidi Montag is writing an autobiography. The onetime “The Hills” star – who recently announced she & husband Spencer Pratt are broke – is set to pen her memoirs and reveal ‘shocking details’ about her marriage and why her friendship with Lauren Conrad fell apart. Heidi is also set to spill the beans on her dramatic plastic surgery which saw her transform her appearance with 10 operations in one day. (Anybody excited about this drivel?)
– “National Enquirer”
• “Beavis & Butthead’s” return to MTV after a 13-year absence has proven a success, as 3.3 million viewers tuned in for the revival of the animated series. It performed particularly well among males, who comprised over 2-thirds of the audience. The animated duo still appear as the same age, having failed to mature in the past decade. MTV president Can Toffler admits they’re ‘the same boneheads sitting on the same couch, commenting on things through a really simple prism’. The comedy, initially launched in 1993, ended in November 1997. (We’ll get the real numbers this week when the curiosity factor is eliminated.)
• For 2 years they were one of the hottest couples in Hollywood, but 33-year-old Elisabetta Canalis has opened up about her relationship with 50-year-old George Clooney, saying he was more like a father to her. Ouch!! The Italian beauty has made the candid revelation in the new book “Questo Amore” by journalist Bruno Vespa. (New proof of the woman scorned-fury connection.)
• With her big court date just days away, Lindsay Lohan has requested the one person who puts her mind ease to be at her side … her mother, Dina. Insiders have confirmed Dina will be making the trip from NYC to LA to be with her daughter as she gets ready to face Judge Sauntner on Wednesday. Lohan had her probation revoked on October 19th and could be facing as much as a year-and-a-half in jail, though Sauntner herself admits that’s unlikely. (If you tally it all up, she’s likely spent a year-and-a-half in court during her ‘career’.)

• “Dancing With the Stars (ABC/CTV) – Celebrating Halloween with special costumes and music; the remaining couples perform.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Megadeth (“TH1RT3EN”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Thievery Corporation (“Culture of Fear”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Amanda Palmer (“Who Killed Amanda Palmer?”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Lindsey Buckingham (“Seeds We Sow”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Puscifer, a side project of Maynard James Keenan from the bands Tool and A Perfect Circle.
• “O Music Awards” ( – The 2nd fan-voted honors for digital music & culture take place at an undisclosed location in Los Angeles @ 8:30 pm PT. Presenters and performers include The Band Perry, Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, Robyn, and Travie McCoy. Highlights include a musical tribute to Apple co-founder Steve Jobs and a record attempt for ‘World’s Longest Dance Party’ (55 hours). Unusual award categories include ‘Fan Army’, ‘Must-Follow Artist on Twitter’ and ‘Best Vintage Viral Video’.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (“Under The Mistletoe”, out tomorrow); Lloyd (“Southside”).
• “Will Ferrell: The Mark Twain Prize” (PBS) – The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts’ gala to honor the comic actor features Billie Joe Armstrong, Ed Asner, and Jack Black among others.

• Adele – She’s releasing “Live At the Royal Albert Hall” on November 29th, a CD/DVD set featuring her entire 90-minute London performance, along with behind-the-scenes footage.
• Beyoncé – She’ll release the new DVD “Live At Roseland” on November 21st, exclusively via Walmart and online.
• Chris Brown – He already dropped the “Fame” album this year but his follow-up, “Fortune”, is expected to come out before year’s end.
• Green Day – At a secret show at Webster Hall in NYC they tried out a number of brand new songs which may appear on their next studio album. Some of the new tunes include “Wow, That’s Loud”, “Make Out Party”, “Let Yourself Go”, and “Carpe Diem”.
• Madonna – UK’s “Daily Mail” reports she tried to help her older brother 6 years ago by paying for him to undergo a 2-month stay in a rehab clinic in Texas to battle his drinking problem, but the treatment didn’t work. Anthony Ciccone is now living on the streets of Traverse City, Michigan since losing his job at the family’s vineyard.
• Metallica – They were set to play their first-ever concert in India Friday night but pulled the plug minutes before taking the stage because there were no security barriers separating them from the huge crowd. That caused a riot by many of the 25,000 fans who’d traveled from throughout the country to see them. Banners were set on fire as people rushed the stage to trash the band’s instruments that had already been set up.
• Sugarland – They paid tribute to the victims of the deadly Indiana State Fair stage collapse with a benefit concert Friday night in Indianapolis, performing a free show in honor of the 7 who died and the more than 40 who were injured in the accident 10 weeks ago.
• Tim McGraw – He tells “Sydney Morning Herald” he feels like there’s a lot more ahead of him than behind him as he’s only ‘about 30%’ of the way into his career.
• Toby Keith – “Rolling Stone” is reporting his rapidly-rising country hit “Red Solo Cup” may be featured in an upcoming episode of “Glee” (FOX) in which the boozy ode to plasticware gets the shiny-happy show-choir treatment.

Auto manufacturers claim that new hands-free text-messaging systems will reduce the risk of driver distraction. The latest wrinkle is an advancement in Ford’s voice-activated Sync system, which can read text messages aloud using a Bluetooth wireless connection with a cellphone. The driver then taps a touch-screen to send one of 15 preset responses, including ‘I’m running a few minutes late’, ‘I can’t talk right now’, and ‘I’m on my way.’ BMW offers a similar system. Vehicles with General Motors’ OnStar will read text messages and Facebook statuses to the user and then transcribe spoken messages into text or Facebook replies. (To be really safe, how about just focusing on piloting a 2-ton vehicle down the road at high speed?)
– “Washington Post”

According to estimates, the world’s population crosses the 7 billion mark today. We reached 6 billion just 12 years ago in 1999. What’s changed since …
• The price of oil reached a low of $13 a barrel in 1999; it’s since topped $100 and is now hovering around $86.
• The prices of grains and other essential foodstuffs have more than doubled.
• The fight against climate change has been nearly abandoned, thanks to worries over the global economy.
• Water scarcity and resource limitations have grown more acute.
• The transition to a green economy has not been as swift as many hoped.

The ‘World’s Most Expensive Home’ is a 27-story, billion-dollar tower in Mumbai called ‘Antilia’.
Built for India’s richest man, Mukesh Ambani (ranked by “Forbes” as the 9th-wealthiest person on Earth at $27 billion), the building has dominated the Mumbai skyline since being completed last year. It features 6 floors of parking, a series of floating gardens, and no less than 3 helipads. But here’s the weird part – it’s lying vacant and abandoned because its owner believes moving in will bring bad luck. That’s due to his belief in ‘vastu shastra’ – an obscure Hindu version of feng shui – which emphasizes the importance of receiving sufficient light from the rising Sun.
– “Daily Mail”

• It’s estimated about 35% of people will wear a costume to work today.
– PA News
• Trick-or-treaters are getting older. About 85% of 18 to 24-year-olds are expected to participate today.
– “San Francisco Chronicle”
• In recent years, the trend for women’s costumes has been to show increasingly more skin. On Halloween, it’s apparently socially acceptable for women to dress more risqué than normal.
– “Raleigh News & Observer”



1961 [50] Larry Mullen Jr, Dublin, Ireland, rock drummer (U2-“Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)

1961 [50] Peter Jackson, Pukerua Bay, New Zealand, filmmaker (“Lord Of the Rings” trilogy, “King Kong”)  UP NEXT: “The Hobbit 1 & 2” (2012-13).

1963 [48] Rob Schneider, Pacifica CA, movie actor (“Grown Ups”, “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”)/former TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1990-94)

1964 [47] Darryl Worley, Pyburn TN, country singer (“Awful Beautiful Life”, “Have You Forgotten?”)

1966 [45] Mike O’Malley, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Burt Hummel’ on “Glee” since 2009)

1966 [45] Adrock (Adam Horovitz), South Orange NJ, rock musician/rapper (Beastie Boys-“Ch-Check It Out”, “Intergalactic”)

1967 [44] Adam Schlesinger, Montclair NJ, power-pop bassist (Fountains of Wayne-“Stacy’s Mom”)

1981 [30] Frank Iero, Belleville NJ, rock guitarist/vocalist (My Chemical Romance-“Famous Last Words”, “Welcome To the Black Parade”“)

• “Halloween”, a long tradition in Canada, Ireland, the UK, and the USA. In recent years, the celebration has spread to other countries around-the-world.
– The observance originated with 5th-century-BC Celtic Druids who believed that on October 31st, all persons who had died in the previous year assembled to choose the body of a person or animal they would inhabit for the next 12 months.
– After the 9th century AD, the day became known as “All Hallows’ Eve” or “Hallowe’en” since it was the night before “All Saints’ Day”.
– The Irish brought the Halloween custom to North America in the 1840s. Of the countries that celebrate Halloween, only in Ireland is it considered a national holiday.

• “Increase Your Psychic Powers Day”. Did you sense we were going to say that?

• “International Magic Day,” traditionally a day for magicians to meet, celebrated on the anniversary of Harry Houdini’s death on October 31st, 1926. Every year, spiritualists hold a seance on Halloween to try and contact the late magician. So far, no answer!

• “International UNICEF Day”, observed on October 31st since 1967, the reason many trick-or-treaters collect donations in UNICEF coin boxes.

• “Knock-Knock Jokes Day”, celebrating their momentous contribution to the comedy world. In honor of the occasion: Knock knock. Who’s there? Philosophy major. Philosophy major who? Well, there are many ways to answer that …

2005 [06] The white suit John Lennon wore on the cover of The Beatles’ “Abbey Road” album sells at a Las Vegas Amnesty International charity auction for $118,000

0834 [1177] 1st ‘All Hallows Eve’ (Halloween), established by Pope Gregory IV to honor saints

1990 [21] ‘Largest Jack-O’-Lantern’ is carved from an 816-lb pumpkin (Nut Tree, California)

[Nov 1] Movember begins / World Vegan Day / All Saints Day / Family Literacy Day / Go Cook For Your Pets Day / Men Make Dinner Day
[Nov 2] Take Our Kids to Work Day / “Michael Jackson: The Life Of an Icon” premieres (London) / All Souls Day / Cookie Monster Day / Plan Your Epitaph Day
[Nov 3] Sandwich Day / “Bones” season debut (FOX/Global) / Cliché Day
[Nov 4] “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas”; “Tower Heist” open in movie theaters / Use Your Common Sense Day / Zero Tasking Day
[Nov 6] Daylight Saving Time ends / “2011 MTV European Music Awards” (Belfast, Northern Ireland) / International Day for Preventing the Exploitation Of the Environment in War & Armed Conflict / Saxophone Day / Eid al-Adha (Muslim)
[Nov 7] Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day
[Nov 8] Abet & Aid Punsters Day / Young Readers Day / Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day / Parents As Teachers Day
[Nov 9] “45th CMA Awards” (ABC)
[Nov 10] Full ‘Beaver’ Moon / “12th Latin Grammy Awards” (Las Vegas NV) / Day of Play / “Sesame Street” Day
[Nov 11] “11-11-11”; “Immortals”; “J Edgar”; “Jack & Jill” open in movie theaters / Remembrance Day (Canada) / Veterans Day (USA) / Origami Day / World Kindness Day
[Nov 13] International Tongue Twister Day
[Nov 14] Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day / International Girls Day / Universal Children’s Day / World Diabetes Day / World Orphans Day
[Nov 15] Guinness World Record Day
[Nov 16] International Day for Tolerance / Educational Support Professionals Day
[Nov 17] National Unfriend Day / Homemade Bread Day / Use Less Stuff Day
[Nov 18] “Happy Feet Two”; “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” open in movie theaters / Regis Philbin’s final show (“Live With Regis & Kelly”) / Married To A Scorpio Support Day / Transgender Day of Remembrance
[Nov 19] Equal Opportunity Day / Have A Bad Day Day / World Toilet Day
[Nov 20] “2011 American Music Awards” (ABC) / African Industrialization Day / Name Your PC Day / World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
[Nov 21] World Hello Day / World Television Day
[Nov 22] Humane Society Day
[Nov 23] “A Dangerous Method”; “Arthur Christmas”; “Hugo”; “The Muppets” open in movie theaters
[Nov 24] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Nov 25] International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women Day / Shopping Reminder Day / Black Friday / Flossing Day / Sinkie Day
[Nov 26] International Aura Awareness Day / Muharram (Muslim)
[Nov 27] “2011 Soul Train Awards” (BET) / National Day of Listening
[Nov 28] Cyber Monday
[Nov 29] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS) / Electronic Greetings Day / International Day of Solidarity With the Palestinian People
[Nov 30] “Grammy Nominations Concert Live” (CBS) / “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” series debut (FOX/Global) / Computer Security Day / Meth Awareness Day / Stay Home Because You’re Well Day


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• People that forgot to buy candy who just offer you a bite of their sandwich.
• Jack-o-lantern on the porch that looks suspiciously like the neighborhood mailman’s head.
• Black jelly beans that turn out to be blood-swollen horse ticks.
• You stop at Brangelina’s house; next thing you know you’re adopted.
• People that want receipts.
– First published in “BS” 1998.

• Do … break away from traditional treats and give youngsters something special this year.
• Don’t … hand out non-edible items. This includes loose change, pencils, stickers, toothbrushes, and Bit-o-Honeys.
• Do … allow kids to pick their candy from a bowl if you’re rocking an assortment. Nothing sucks worse than seeing your friends pocket a Reese’s while you get stuck with a Mounds.
• Don’t … say, “Oh, and what are you supposed to be?” to any child. You’re only insulting their mother’s arts & crafts skills.
• Do … encourage your kids to take trick-or-treating seriously. The harder they work, the more leftovers for you.
• Don’t … Take your sweet time answering the door. Daylight is precious, and they have more houses to hit.
– Adapted from

If there is a heaven, what one feature do you think it should have? (In his book, “A Travel Guide to Heaven”, Anthony DeStefano claims there will be food, pets, and sex.)

Question: The average person now hangs on to THIS for about 5 years before replacing it.
Answer: A job.

It is better to give than to lend … and it costs about the same.

Kim Young @ BVZ Radio, Penn State Behrend College, Erie, Pennsylvania; Simon Will @ K-Memory HD Radio [KMRY] Cedar Rapids, Iowa; Jamie Rankin & Darren Alley @ 90.1 The Heat [CRNC] Niagara College, Welland, Ontario; Monica Lapajne @ Vinyl 95.3 [CING] Hamilton, Ontario; and Alexandra Firth @ Ocean 100.3 [CHTN] Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.

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