Wednesday, October 4, 2017 – Edition: #6069

Sheet Happens!

There will be no “BS” service for Monday, October 9, to observe Canadian Thanksgiving Day. The BS will return on Tuesday Oct. 10.

★ Patton Oswalt is receiving backlash for politicizing the Las Vegas shooting in a tweet posted on Monday.  Many social media users are now slamming the actor, accusing him of being insensitive towards the victims of the deadly attack by imagining how a Donald Trump supporter would react to the shooting.
★ Harrison Ford jokes it took “bags of money” to get him to return for another ‘Blade Runner’ movie. 75-year-old Ford played replicant hunter Rick Deckard in the original 1982 science-fiction classic, and is returning in the long-awaited sequel ‘Blade Runner 2049′.  For many years it seemed unlikely Harrison would reprise the role and he recently spoke about how “tough” filming the original movie was. When pressed, Ford said that in addition to the paycheck, he was lured back by the chance to work with the new film’s director Denis Villeneuve and, “the opportunity to extend the character into a space that was logical and productive.”  Blade Runner 2049, which also stars Ryan Gosling and Jared Leto, is out this Friday.
(I believe he also said that he’d never play Han Solo again.  And Indy.  4 times now…)
★ Kate Winslet keeps her Oscar in her toilet. The Academy Award winner won the prestigious prize for her role in the 2008 movie ‘The Reader’, and she stores the golden statuette in her loo to allow people the chance to have some alone time with the statuette.
★ Russell Crowe has launched his own line of tea bags.  Crowe handed out free boxes of Crowe’s Tea to fans while he was touring with his band ‘Indoor Garden Party’, and now is said to be excited about his latest business opportunity.
★ Reality TV stars Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who first rose to prominence on MTV’s ‘The Hills’, have welcomed their first child, a baby boy named Gunner Stone.  Reports are that Gunner was born on Sunday afternoon, weighing in at 6 pounds, 12 ounces.
★ Serena Williams was pregnant with daughter Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. when she won the Australian Open in January. And now she has revealed that her child’s name is in tribute to winning the tennis tournament while she was expecting.  Last week, Williams shared this on Twitter: “Fun fact my daughter’s initials are AO, as in the Aussie open she won with me @AustralianOpen.”
(My classmates named me after the Boston Open…)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Robin Wright, Mark Consuelos, Depeche Mode
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Hillary Rodham Clinton, Miley Cyrus
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kerry Washington, Russell Brand, St. Vincent
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tina Fey, Kevin Millar & Sean Casey, Matt Goldich, Gene Hoglan
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cheryl Hines, Mark Feuerstein
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Billy Eichner, Michael Bisping, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorinda Medley, Melissa Gorga
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Idris Elba
• “The Talk” (CBS): David Boreanaz
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Harrison Ford, Uzo Aduba
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Oprah Winfrey, Demi Lovato
• “Survivor” (CBS): “I’m a Wild Banshee” Two castaways find a clue and begin searching for a coveted idol.
• “iHeartRadio Music Festival Night 1” (CW): Scheduled performers include P!nk, Harry Styles, Coldplay, Chris Stapleton and The Weeknd. (Concludes on Thursday)

Some BS Fast Facts about Tom Petty:
➛ Born Oct. 20, 1950 in Gainesville, Florida
➛ A childhood handshake from Elvis Presley inspired him to become a musician.
➛ The Heartbreakers’ first album came out in 1976, but it was their third album, ‘Damn the Torpedoes’ which made them stars, with the songs ‘Refugee’ and ‘Don’t Do Me Like That’.
➛ He severely broke his left hand by punching a wall in frustration during the recording of 1985’s ‘Southern Accents’.  Johnny Cash would later cover the title track.
➛ Called his music “Just rock, and we don’t put no other name on it other than that.”
➛ Hit #3 with his 1981 Stevie Nicks duet ‘Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around’.
➛ Recorded two albums with supergroup ‘The Traveling Wilburys’, also featuring Roy Orbison (Vol. 1), George Harrison, Bob Dylan and Jeff Lynne.  Petty’s alter-egos in that band were ‘Charlie T. Wilbury Jr.’ and ‘Muddy Wilbury’
➛ Lynne went on to produce Petty’s most successful record, the solo album ‘Full Moon Fever’ in 1989.
➛ His final album with the Heartbreakers was 2014’s ‘Hypnotic Eye’.  It was also his first #1.
➛ He reformed his pre-Heartbreakers band, ‘Mudcrutch’ for two albums over the past 9 years, including last year’s ‘2′.  It would be Petty’s last studio album.

• Mariah Carey – was interviewed on ‘Good Morning Britain’ hours after more than 50 people were shot at the Music Festival in Las Vegas. Carey, who has a residency at Caesars Palace but was at home in Beverly Hills during the incident and interview, was put on the spot when co-host Piers Morgan asked for her reaction to the shooting. Many viewers saw the interview as “unfair”, calling Morgan “unprofessional” and “vile” for blindsiding Carey with the news.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl says that when Kurt Cobain died, he thought he’s never step onstage or play music again.  He thought it would just “bring me back to the heartbreaking place of losing Kurt”.
• Deep Purple – their classic “Smoke on the Water” has been preserved in DNA for UNESCO’s ‘Memory of the World Archive’.  The song was written in 1971 as Deep Purple’s eyewitness reaction to the Montreux Casino burning down during a Frank Zappa performance.
• Elton John – will release a new compilation, ‘Diamonds’, on Nov. 10.  It will be available across multiple formats, including double-vinyl LP in a gatefold cover and a limited edition triple-disc box set loaded with extras, including a 72-page hardcover book, postcards, and additional songs referred to as “personal favorites curated by Elton himself.”
• Pat Benatar – has released a new song and video.  ‘Dancing Through the Wreckage’ is from the soundtrack of the documentary ‘Served Like a Girl’, which follows the careers of female military veterans and explores the issue of homeless women in the U.S.
• Gwen Stefani – has (already) released a pair of Christmas Songs.  ‘”Santa Baby’ is the second single from her Christmas album ‘You Make It Feel Like Christmas’, following on the heels of the title track, an original written and recorded with her significant other Blake Shelton.
• Shania Twain – is afraid she will die young, leaving her teenage son without a mother.  Twain, who is 52, was 22 when both her mother and stepfather died in a car crash.  Her son Eja (***pron: Asia***) is 16.

If you’re a guy, you’ve been there.  She is horribly offended by an overpowering smell coming from the garbage, the laundry basket, or from you, and you are sitting there with a question mark hovering above your head.  If you’re a woman, you’ve been there too.  You don’t know how he can’t smell that overwhelming odor, and you need to bring out the lavender citrus-blast cool- breeze fresh-lemon pumpkin-spice scented air freshener RIGHT NOW.    Here’s why: Leonard Sax, a psychologist and physician says there may be a profound difference in the abilities of men and women to process smell.  The body’s central smell processor — the olfactory bulb — is decked out with glial cells which help us sniff out the world around us. It turns out, the total cells women have at their olfactory disposal vastly outnumber those of men. We’re talking 16.2 million versus 9.2 million.  In a study, men had a hard time differentiating sweat from the perfume it was blended with. Women, on the other hand, detected sweat in 30 out of 32 tainted fragrances. Men managed to catch a whiff in just 13. So when she says it stinks, it stinks.  Maybe just not to you.
(Women can smell b.o. even when I’m wearing cologne? And I thought it was my sparkling personality that made them avoid me at the gym!)
(So why is it that I’M always the one drooling on my shirt when there’s a roast in the oven?)
(My wife’s nose is so good, she can smell my beer-breath before I even get home…)

• Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick … Just like it sounds: Chicken noodle soup is deep fried and served on a stick.  With crackers on the side.
• Fat Smooth … Belgium mini cream puffs on a skewer, dipped in batter, then fried, dusted in powdered sugar, and drizzled with a chocolate and caramel sauce.
• Fernie’s Fried Texas Sheet Cake … fudgy chocolate brownie cake coated in ground cocoa puffs, panko, and cinnamon sugar. Fried, then glazed with icing made with Dr. Pepper.
• Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger … two fried funnel cakes, one topped with a burger patty, bacon, and gooey queso!! The other funnel cake is dusted with powdered sugar.
• Gulf Coast Fish Bowl … a drinkable aquarium.  Begins with Nerds candy gravel. Add ice and a specially-formulated blue alcoholic punch. Swedish Fish swim through the ice while a pineapple slice serves as the lid!
• The Tamale Donut … the slow-cooked pork blended with authentic masa. Hand-formed into  donut shape and fried.  Finished off with a drizzle of homemade creamy jalapeno salsa.
• Pinot Noir Popcorn … a blend of Santa Monica Kettle Corn dusted with a Pinot Noir burgundy wine powder. The wine-flavored popcorn is paired with savory cheddar cheese flavors. (What? They couldn’t figure out a way to deep-fry this too?)
(Road-trip, anyone?  The Texas State Fair is on through October 22 in Dallas.)

A wee bit of a community issue in a town called River Oaks, near Houston, Texas.  It seems a local resident has purchased a fully-functional WWII tank, and has it parked outside his house.  The U.S. tank saw active duty overseas, and Tony Buzbee spent $600,000 to buy it.  And it took a year to have it shipped to his home.  The problem?  The local Property Owners Group.  Although no one has been able to find a law against having a tank at your house, they have expressed that the unusual residential vehicle “impedes traffic”, “is a safety issue”, and is causing “serious concerns for neighbors”.  Buzbee, though, isn’t concerned.  He says it isn’t hurting anyone, and being that he is a lawyer, he is up for a good discussion about it.  Besides, how would they tow it?
(Why can’t he be like everybody else and just have an old pickup truck up on blocks?)
(Where does having one of these fall when it comes to the issue of gun control?)
(In my neighborhood, we can’t even park an RV out front, so I’m guessing this wouldn’t fly…)


1946 [71] Susan Sarandon, New York City NY, movie actress (‘Thelma & Louise’, ‘Bull Durham’, ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’) COMING UP…A Bad Moms Christmas, 2017

1956 [61] Christoph Waltz, Vienna, Austria, movie actor (‘Django Unchained’, ‘Inglourious Basterds’)

1957 [60] Russell Simmons, Queens NY, entrepreneur (Co-founded the hip-hop music label ‘Def Jam’ and created the successful clothing lines ‘Phat Farm’, ‘Argyleculture’, and ‘American Classics’)

1967 [50] Liev Schreiber, San Francisco CA, TV actor (‘Ray Donovan’ since 2013)/movie actor (‘Creed’, ‘The Butler’)

1976 [41] Alicia Silverstone, San Francisco CA, movie actress (‘Clueless’, ‘Batman & Robin’)/animal rights activist. COMING UP…Book Club, 2018

1977 [40] Richard Parry, Ottawa ON, alt-rock musician-composer (Arcade Fire-‘Reflektor’, ‘Keep the Car Running’)

1988 [29] Melissa Benoist, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Kara Danvers’ on “Supergirl” since 2015)

1989 [28] Dakota Johnson, Austin TX, movie actress (‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ films, ‘The Social Network’)/daughter of actors Don Johnson & Melanie Griffith

1997 [20] Ava Sambora, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (‘This Is 40′)/TV actress (‘Summerbreak 3′ 2015-2016) Daughter of musician Richie Sambora and actress Heather Locklear.

• “Cinnamon Roll Day”, or “Kanelbullens Dag” as it’s known in Sweden, the country of the yummy sweet-bun’s presumed origin.  Good excuse to scarf one with your coffee this morning.

• “Improve Your Office Day”, a day to focus on ways to make your work experience better. Among the suggestions: Keep it clean; simplify; and bring a piece of outside inside (Also: donuts).

• “International Toot Your Flute Day”, to encourage the idea of selling yourself and telling others how good you are, while rejecting the idea that self-promotion is ‘bragging’.

• “Taco Day”, an annual celebration of the great taste of the traditional Mexican dish.

• “Vodka Day”, celebrating the versatile, virtually tasteless and odorless tipple that now accounts for about 25% of spirits sold in North America.  Thanks to free enterprise, we have an assortment of wild and wacky added-flavor vodkas available now, including maple syrup, root beer float, s’mores, PB & J and – an homage to the breakfast cereal Fruit Loops – ‘Loopy’.  More savory include smoked salmon, chili peppers, bacon, espresso, cucumber, rose and buttered popcorn.
(Buttered popcorn flavor?  I’m shaken.  And stirred.)

• “Balloons Around the World Day”, the 18th annual event celebrating ‘Balloon Sculpture’. Balloon artists worldwide showcase the art of balloon twisting and decorating and, in the process, deliver thousands of smiles through the act of giving. (So if you can, make a balloon animal.  If you can’t, grab a balloon and make the ‘fart’ noise!)

• “Kale Day”, begun in 2014 by Dr Drew Ramsey (co-author of the book ‘50 Shades of Kale’) as a petition. Observed on the 1st Wednesday in October, it’s designed to increase awareness, access, and education about the positive health benefits of eating more kale.

[Thurs] Apple Betty Day
[Thurs] Do Something Nice Day
[Fri] Garlic Lovers Day
[Fri] Mad Hatter Day

1970 [47] Janis Joplin dies of a drug overdose at 27

2005 [12] Little Big Town releases their 2nd album, “The Road to Here”, which spawns 4 top 20 country hits

2016 [01] Gwen Stefani and musician Gavin Rossdale divorce after 13 years of marriage

2004 [13] ‘SpaceShipOne’ flies to an altitude of 62 miles over the California desert, becoming the 1st privately-funded rocket to reach space (thereby winning the $10-million Ansari X Prize)

2006 [11] Wikileaks is launched by Julian Assange

1981 [36] Oldest recorded pet gerbil, ‘Sahara’, dies in Lathrup Village, Michigan at age 8 years, 4-and-a-half months


✓ Just like humans, cows moo in accents specific to their region.
✓ To burn off one M&M candy, you need to walk the length of a football field.
✓ People who look young for their age tend to live longer.
✓ Studies show the key to happiness is spending your money on experiences rather than possessions.
✓ One in every three million people on earth is a billionaire.
✓ Facebook runs on 61 million lines of code. That’s more than twice the amount needed for an F-35 Fighter Jet.
-WhattheFFacts, UnbelievableFacts

• That I should be buying beer, not Champagne.
• To stay home and watch Netflix.
• To take it to the limit…one more time.
• “Cut me up”.
• That I do stupid things at 3AM when I’ve had wine.
• That I just bought a new swimming pool for a Nigerian prince.
• That I shouldn’t have a credit card.
• That I’d better intercept my mail before my wife (husband) gets home.
• Nothing.  It just laughs at me.  A lot.


☎ What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done? (62 items in the supermarket express lane?)

I used to have a cat that was borderline psychotic.  Now, he’s crossed the border.

Question:  In 1950, 7% of us had done this, today 75% of us have done it.  What is it?
Answer:  Dyed our hair

A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him

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