Tuesday, October 5, 2010        Edition: #4357
Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
NBC-TV is reportedly resurrecting vintage TV series “The Munsters” (1964-66) for a new pilot (who should play ‘Herman Munster’ – Brad Garrett?) . . . David E Kelley (“Ally McBeal”) is attached to write & produce a new TV series about “Wonder Woman”, which is said to be a contemporary take on the World War 2-era Amazon character (who should play ‘Wonder Woman’ – Brad Garrett?) . . . Author JK Rowling is teasing us with hints she may continue writing ‘Harry Potter’ books (yeah, it’s surprising how fast you can eat though a billion) . . . Has-been actress Lindsay Lohan says she’ll fight like hell if ‘anyone’ (aka her loser dad) tries to put her under a conservatorship (as if there’s any money left to protect) . . . Inside sources claim Jennifer Lopez and Ryan Seacrest are butting heads on everything from dressing rooms to who gets top billing on “American Idol” (and she’s only been around a couple of weeks!) . . . 24-year-old actress Lea Michele has begged the “Glee” writers to stop poking fun at the size of her boobs, insisting it’s not the smallest rack on the show and she’s proving her point(s) by posing semi-topless on the cover of the November issue of British “Marie Claire” (class!) . . . Thanks to a court ruling, Oksana Grigorieva’s child support payments from Mel Gibson are now $20,000-a-month, an increase of 15-grand (this does nothing for her reputation – she was asking for $60,000!) . . . And Britain’s “Daily Mirror” reports that Russell Brand & Katy Perry’s wedding invitation tells guests they will be heading to Delhi, India for the ceremony and should set aside an entire week for the celebrations at the end of October (could be true – he proposed to her in India on New Year’s Eve).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Another contestant is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Rascal Flatts (“Nothing Like This”).
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – ‘Finn’ thinks he sees Jesus’ face in his grilled cheese sandwich, an excuse to burst into REM’s “Losing My Religion”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Phoenix (“Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jimmy Eat World (“Invented”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Trace Adkins (“Cowboy’s Back in Town”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Mavis Staples w/Jeff Tweedy (“You Are Not Alone”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – KT Tunstall (Tiger Suit”, released today).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruno Mars – Today he releases his debut album, “Doo-Wops & Hooligans”, which includes the hit single “Just The Way You Are”. He’s scheduled to kick off his first-ever North American headlining tour in mid-November. (If he’s not in jail.)
• Ciara – Today she releases her 4th studio album, “Basic Instincts”, featuring the lead single “Ride”.
• Jason Mraz – Today he releases a live digital EP, “Life Is Good”, recorded during his current North American tour, which wraps up Friday in Santa Barbara CA.
• John Lennon – Today, in honor of his 70th birthday (October 9), EMI is reissuing 8 of his solo albums that have been digitally remastered, a ‘best-of’ set called “Gimme Some Truth, and an 11-disc collection called “John Lennon Signature Box”, compiling all of his solo albums, along with previously-unreleased and non-album tracks.
• Justin Bieber – He’s the world’s highest-paid young performer this year according to a new ranking, earning a staggering $300,000 for every concert he performs. That’s twice as much as Drake and 3 times what Selena Gomez picks up.
• Keith Urban – Tonight he hosts his 2nd “We’re All For the Hall” all-star concert to benefit the Country Music Hall of Fame. Also on the bill at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville: Alan Jackson, Alison Krauss, Billy Currington, Charley Pride, Dolly Parton, John Mayer, Martina McBride, Miranda Lambert, and Vince Gill.
• Mario – The platinum-selling R&B singer has been arrested in Baltimore MD for allegedly assaulting his own mother in an apartment they share. Shawntia Hardaway told cops he’d been ‘throwing and damaging property’ and pushed her around with his hands and forearms.
• Toby Keith – Today he releases his 15th studio CD, “Bullets In the Gun”. A ‘deluxe version’ includes versions of several country classics recorded in June during a NYC performance.
• Travie McCoy – The Gym Class Heroes rapper tells MTV News his ex, Katy Perry,  finally has ‘a song with some substance’, “Circle the Drain”, which disses their relationship.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Jackie Earle Haley stars as disfigured serial killer ‘Freddy Krueger’. A remake of the original 1984 horror classic that led to a half-dozen sequels. No-name cast.
• “The Human Centipede” ( R-Rated Horror ): Dutch filmmaker Tom Six’s twisted biological shock film about a brilliant and demented doctor (Dieter Laser) who joins 3 ‘patients’ together via their gastric system in a horrific operation.
• “The Karate Kid” ( PG Action Drama ): Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a bullied kid who turns to his building’s maintenance man, a martial-arts master (Jackie Chan), to help him toughen up. A remake of the 1984 film that starred Ralph Macchio & Pat Morita.
• “Splice” ( R-Rated Sci-fi Thriller): Two scientists fuse DNA samples to create a new organism, a human-chimera they name ‘Dren’. Stars Oscar-winner Adrien Brody (“The Pianist”) and Sarah Polley (“Away From Her”). Shot in Toronto & Hamilton ON.
• Also released today: “Bones: Season 5” (TV); “The Exorcist – Extended Director’s Cut”; “Humphrey Bogart: The Essential Collection”; “Jackass Unrated 3-Pack”; “Ken Burns’ Baseball: The 10th Inning” (Sports Doc); “Medium: The 6th Season” (TV); “Monk: The Complete Series Limited Edition Box Set” (TV); “NHL Stanley Cup Champions 2010: Chicago Blackhawks” (Sports Doc); “Ocean’s 11 – 50th Anniversary” (the Frank Sinatra original).

SURPRISINGLY UNHEALTHY FOODS:
Do you reach for these food choices with the mistaken belief they are good for you?
• Banana Chips – Fried chips are fried chips, whether they’re made of potato, banana, or the less-sweet banana relative plantain.
• Couscous – It may look like a whole grain but it’s actually a tiny pasta that is a staple of some North African nations.
• Cream Cheese – It’s high in fat and doesn’t have a lot of protein or calcium. A better spreadable choice is ricotta cheese.
• Dried Apricots – Dried fruits are dense in vitamins but also concentrated in calories. A better route is to stick with fresh fruit .
• Muffins – Most muffins are just small cakes. Super-sized muffins can pack an astonishing 800 calories.
• Ramen Noodles – They might fill you up cheaply and quickly, but without the add-ons of fresh veggies and protein they’re just noodles in salty broth and not a nutritious diet addition.
– Condensed from BestHealthMag.ca

THUG MONKEYS:
For the “Commonwealth Games”, now underway through October 14th in Delhi, India, authorities have deployed a contingent of close to 40 large black-faced langur monkeys at sports venues to scare away smaller simians. Thousands of monkeys roam throughout Delhi and are considered a public nuisance. The langurs, an aggressive kind of monkey, are kept on leashes by handlers until the little trespassers are sighted. (Someone should make a movie … “When Monkeys Attack!”)
– BBC News

FOODS THAT HAVE BEEN RENAMED:
• Aspartame – Due to persistent but unproven rumors that the sweetener discovered back in 1965 is linked to cancerous tumors, the company that manufactures the compound decided to rename it ‘AminoSweet’ earlier this year.
• Rapeseed Oil – Obviously the word ‘rape’ does nothing to increase a product’s popularity so the cooking oil was renamed ‘Canola Oil’ in the 1970s. Canola isn’t a plant; there’s no such thing as a ‘canola’. It’s simply a contraction of it’s lab ID: ‘Canadian, oilseed, low-acid’.
• Prunes – Prunes rank at the very top of the ‘Things That Are Closely Identified with Old People’ list, making them a tough sell to anyone else. Hence, California growers decided to rebrand the fruit as ‘dried plums’ in 2000.
• Chinese Gooseberry – Importers in the 1960s decided that the import from New Zealand needed a makeover. They renamed it ‘kiwi fruit’ to honor the flightless national bird of New Zealand. Once the new name took hold, sales took off.
• Baby Carrots – In a new ad campaign, carrot farmers are promoting ‘The Original Orange Doodle’, touting carrots as a cool & crunchy snack, similar to cheese doodles. It’s likely the first attempt ever to rebrand veggies as junk food.
– DivineCaroline.com

BABE RACE:
‘The Bikini Track Sprint’ is scheduled to take place December 4th at the Gold Coast Turf Club race track in Queensland, Australia. No horses involved in this race; it’s just what it sounds like – over 150 girls racing around the track in skimpy bikinis for a prize of 5,000 Aussie dollars. Believe it or not, just 27% of voters in a local poll say the event is degrading to women, while the other 73% are perfectly okay with it. (Even better … thoroughbreds in bikinis!)
– OddityCentral.com

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• When you feel the need to buy gold but don’t want to drive all the way to the bank, now you can use the handy-dandy … gold vending machine. The brainchild of a business called ‘Gold To Go’, the first was installed earlier this year at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi UAE.
NET: http://www.gold-to-go.com/en/
– Neatorama.com
• A company called ‘Cleverscene’ has created a duffel bag made from … retired firefighters’ jackets. The bags are 100% custom handmade and visually striking, thanks to the original reflective tape. As an added bonus, the fabric can obviously withstand super-intense heat.
NET: http://coolmaterial.com/gear/valor-overnight-bag-by-cleverscene/
– CoolMaterial.com

FOR THE RECORD:
As a publicity stunt for his upcoming movie “Megamind” (out November 5th), actor Will Ferrell hosted a gathering of 1,580 people dressed as super-heroes at the Nokia Plaza in downtown Los Angeles, thereby breaking a Guinness World Record. The previous mark of 1,500 super-heroes was set by a New Hampshire children’s hospital way back in … August.
– EW.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The UN has an ‘Office of Outer Space Affairs’.
– “The Independent”
• Intestinal worms in humans can grow to more than 2 meters (6.5 feet) long.
– “The Guardian”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.05.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [67] Steve Miller, Milwaukee WI, classic rock singer/guitarist (“Rock’n Me”, “The Joker”)

1947 [63] Brian Johnson, Newcastle UK, rock singer (AC/DC-“Black Ice”, “Back in Black”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1954 [56] (Sir) Bob Geldof, Dublin, Ireland, social activist (“Live 8”, “Live Aid”, Band Aid-“Do They Know It’s Christmas”)/former rock singer (Boomtown Rats-“I Don’t Like Mondays”)

1975 [35] Kate Winslet, Reading UK, movie actress (2009 Oscar-“The Reader”, “Titanic”)

1978 [32] James Valentine, Lincoln NE, pop musician (Maroon 5-“Misery”, “Makes Me Wonder”)

1980 [30] Paul Thomas, Waldorf MD, pop-punk bassist (Good Charlotte-“Lifestyles Of the Rich & Famous”, “Girls & Boys”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Apple Betty Day”, honoring the dessert aka “Apple Brown Betty”, “Apple Crisp”, “Apple Crumble” or “Apple Cobbler”. Whatever you call it … nummers!

• “Get Organized Week”. The Association of Professional Organizers finds that managers spend an average of 6 weeks each year searching their desks for misplaced information.
TIPS FROM PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZERS:
– Organize surface clutter first. Visible results will help keep you going.
– Sort, identify, and place. Don’t get sidetracked catching up on unfinished chores.
– Start with one corner of a room. Do only one area at a time; never zigzag.
– Use a box labeled ‘goes elsewhere’ for things that don’t belong where they’re found.
– Surround yourself only with useful, inspiring things. Donate unneeded items.

• “Noisy Munching Day”, a day to annoy others by chewing ice cubes, pickles, chips … anything that’s crunchy and loud.

• “World Teachers Day”, begun by UNESCO in 1994 as recognition for the vital contribution teachers make to education & development. Over 100 countries now observe the day.
NET: http://www.5oct.org/index.php/en/index

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [15] Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” is certified Gold & Platinum (truly a one-hit-wonder!)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1985 [25] 1st American League East title for Major League Baseball’s Toronto Blue Jays

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1930 [80] Laura Ingalls completes 1st transcontinental airplane flight by a woman, flying a biplane from NYC to California in 4 days

1974 [36] American David Kunst becomes first person to walk around-the-world, completing the 14,450-mile trek after 4 years … and 21 pairs of shoes

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Balloons Around the World Day
[Wed] Ecological Debt Day
[Wed] Mad Hatter Day
[Wed] German-American Day
[Fri] Depression Screening Day
[Fri] Pirogi Day
[Fri] Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest begins
[Fri] “Life As We Know It”; “My Soul to Take”; “Nowhere Boy”; “Secretariat” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Customer Service Week
This Month Is … Cut Out Dissection Month

BULL’S BITS

BS FIND THE FAKES:
Some of these are real names of past or present musical acts, some are totally made up. Which are which?
• Cottage Cheese From the Lips of Death [Real]
• The Middle Fingers [Fake]
• Mussolini Headkick [Real]
• The Dead Sea Squirrels [Real]
• The Mothers of Intervention [Fake]
• Electric Prostates [Real]
• Four Nurses Of the Apocalypse [Real]
• Electric Lite Beer Band [Fake]
• The Tourettes [Fake]
• Mary Kay & The Cosmetics [Real]

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Doing nothing makes you tired because you can’t take a break.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Good idea or bad? To raise some extra money, schools in Peabody, Massachusetts have begun selling advertising space in the information letters that are sent home to parents.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Scientists have discovered that merely standing close to one of THESE makes you feel warmer, by as much as 3.6 degrees.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A good friend. (“Daily Mail”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Pride is what we have … vanity is what others have.