Monday, October 7, 2013        Edition: #5074

Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

★ Today in Cape Town, South Africa, the new movie “The Giver” is set to start filming. Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep is set to star alongside Jeff Bridges in this movie adaptation of Lois Lowry’s 1993 young-adult fantasy novel. Taylor Swift and Katie Holmes have also joined the cast. The story revolves around a 12-year-old boy (Brenton Thwaites), selected to learn the ropes from an elderly man known as ‘The Giver’.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ 47-year-old movie actress Halle Berry is a mom again. The Oscar-winner & her actor-husband Olivier Martinez welcomed a new son on Saturday. A spokesperson for Berry would not confirm any other details about the tot, not even his name or place of birth. Berry is already a mother to 5-year-old Nahla, her daughter from a previous relationship with Canadian model Gabriel Aubry. She married Martinez in a private ceremony in his native France in July.
★ FOX-TV has announced “The Simpsons” has been renewed for a 26th season, further cementing its status as longest-running animated series, sitcom, and primetime scripted series in TV history. The show is broadcast in over 100 countries in 50 languages and has won 28 Emmy Awards. Last month executive producer Al Jean said one of the show’s main characters will die in a forthcoming episode. That death is now scheduled for the 26th season.
★ Wild-child Miley Cyrus served as both host & musical guest on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” over the weekend but her appearance was controversy-free, perhaps her most reserved in years. She declared that twerking is no longer cool and that her childhood character ‘Hannah Montana’ has been murdered. Otherwise, the headline-grabbing singer steered clear of any of her trademark attention-grabbing stunts on the night.
★ And David & Victoria Beckham have reportedly sold their ‘Beckingham Palace’ estate in Britain along its fleet of automobiles for £12 million ($19 million). The power couple raised their sons in the house and are said to be ‘desperately sad’ to move on. But fear not, the sell-off has nothing to do with cash-flow problems for the retired soccer superstar & his fashion maven wife. They’re looking to make an offer on new digs, listed at … £45 million ($72-million). A source says it’s an exciting time for the Beckhams as they enter a new chapter of family life.
– “The Sun on Sunday”

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Gogol Bordello (“Pura Vida Conspiracy”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Demi Lovato (“Demi”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Slash (“Nothing Left to Fear”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ben Rector (“The Walking In Between”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Maximum Hedrum (“Maximum Hedrum”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Paul McCartney (“New”, out October 15th).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Changing Of the Seasons”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Avett Bros (“Magpie & The Dandelion”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (“Unvarnished”).

• Big Sean – The rapper and “Glee” actress/singer Naya Rivera have gotten engaged, according to E! News. The couple confirmed their relationship earlier this year after collaborating on Rivera’s single “Sorry”, which was recently released.
• Cassadee Pope – Tonight the Season 3 winner of “The Voice” previews her debut country album, “Frame By Frame”, at a free show in NYC’s Bryant Park. The 11-track project featuring her debut single “Wasting All These Tears” is released tomorrow.
• Chris Brown – In a new interview with “The Guardian”, he claims to have lost his virginity at … 8-years-old. He says folks in his hometown of Tappahannock, Virginia are more open to sexual experimentation at a much younger age than elsewhere.
• The Dead Weather – Jack White’s band with Alison Mosshart of The Kills has announced a series of 2-song singles, which will release on White’s Third Man Records between now and 2015. A new album is then expected, compiling many of the singles with other new tracks.
• Justin Bieber – He’s set to unveil new songs every week for the next 10 weeks in what’s being called a ‘Music Monday’ series. It begins with today’s release of the new track “Heartbreaker”. The series  culminates with a new documentary on the pop star, expected at Christmastime.
• Lauryn Hill – She’s been released from prison after serving 3 months for tax evasion, and has brought out a new single to celebrate. Her new song “Consumerism” attacks ageism, sexism, racism, fascism, and ‘compromised commercialism’.
• Lorde – How did she celebrate her hit “Royals” reaching #1 the same week her debut album “Pure Heroine” was released? The level-headed 16-year-old tells MTV News she went to see Phoenix at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center, then went home and went to bed.
• Paul McCartney – Yesterday special ‘drive-in’ listening parties were held in NYC and LA to preview his upcoming album “New” (October 15th). A limited number of vehicles were admitted to specific locations where the album could be heard on a designated FM radio frequency.

University of London research has found that listening to music can help you learn a foreign language. Compared to those who studied in silence, people who learned while playing tunes scored up to 41% higher on tests. Why? Music stimulates your brain to create a state of ‘wakefulness’ that renders it more receptive to new info. Musical rhythms also help the brain break up language into chunks that are simpler to store and recall. But not all types of music help. The ideal tunes should be simple, repetitive, and free of lyrics. (Yanni?)

One critic’s list of food-related words that should be banned from ever appearing in print, or on the lips of chefs, judges, and TV personalities …
✗ Cooked to Perfection – Is there such a thing? What does it actually mean? By whose standard?
✗ Crispy – The word is ‘crisp’. Crispy is an abject contemporary aberration.
✗ Cuisine – Pernicious Frenchism. What on Earth is wrong with the English word ‘cooking’?
✗ Decadent – Why should pleasure in food be considered immoral or self-indulgent?
✗ Drizzle – Olive or any other oil cannot drizzle because the viscosity is all wrong. Dribble yes, drizzle no.
✗ Foodie –We’re all tired of this expression, so why do we use it? The very idea that someone is exceptional because they’re interested in food and are happy to express it is just silly.
✗ Heritage/Heirloom – Meaningless menu marketing-speak.
✗ Melt-in-the-Mouth – Almost invariably used to describe meat. Invariably inaccurate. If meat melts in your mouth, see a doctor immediately.
✗ Pan-Fried – Twaddle. What else do you fry in? A kettle? There’s frying or deep-frying. Period.
✗ Tasty – The product of contemptible mental idleness. The question is, how does it taste?
– Adapted from

The color of wine as well as the shape and size of the wineglass affects how much we drink. In an Iowa State University study, participants poured 9% more when pouring white wine into a clear glass than when pouring red, which has a greater color contrast to glass. They also poured around 12% more wine into a wide glass than a standard one. So, if you ask someone how much they drink and they describe it in number of glasses, for a self-pour that’s just not telling the whole story. One person’s 2 glasses can be completely different than another’s. (Wait, is that a mug you’re using?)

At the 1983 International Design Conference organizers decided to put a time capsule together. Although it was supposed to be dug up in 2000, its exact location couldn’t be pinpointed as the Colorado field where it was buried had undergone landscaping. But  archeologists from the National Geographic Channel show “Diggers” have come to the rescue and finally unearthed the lost capsule. Here’s what they found from 30 years ago: 1 Kodak Instamatic camera; VHS videotapes of the conference; 1 rotary telephone; a 6-pack of beer (?); and perhaps, most notably, an early computer mouse donated by Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. It’s unknown if it still works because Jobs didn’t donate a primitive early computer to go with it. (What would you put in a 2013 capsule?)

As well as getting too little, getting too much sleep may also increase your risk of health problems. A new study from the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention suggests that sleeping for more than 10 hours a night can increase your risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and obesity. It’s advised that adults should aim for 7-to-9 hours of sleep a night. The bottom line is, sleeping longer doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sleeping well. Both the quality and quantity of sleep impact your health. (Morning radio personalities should get danger pay.)
– “NY Daily News”

‘Schlimmbesserung’ is a German word to describe an effort to make things better that ends up making things worse.


1951 [62] John Mellencamp, Seymour IN, pop-rock singer (“Jack & Diane”, “Hurts So Good”)/Farm Aid co-founder/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2008)

1953 [60] Tico (Hector) Torres, NYC, classic rock drummer (Bon Jovi-“Always”, “Livin’ On a Prayer”)

1959 [54] Simon Cowell, Brighton UK, TV personality (“The X Factor” since 2011, “American Idol” 2002-10)/TV producer (“The X Factor UK” since 2004, “America’s Got Talent” since 2006)/entertainment mogul (Syco TV, Syco Music)

1967 [46] Toni Braxton, Severn MD, R&B/pop singer (“Unbreak My Heart”, “Breathe Again”)

1968 [45] Thom Yorke, Wellingborough UK, rock singer-guitarist (Radiohead-“Nude”, Creep”)

1975 [38] Damian Kulash, Washington DC, rock singer-guitarist (OK Go-“Here It Goes Again”, “Get Over It”)

• “Child Health Day”, to raise awareness of how we can protect and develop children’s wellness. This event is annually celebrated on the 1st Monday in October.

• “World Day of Bullying Prevention”, the day when people around-the-world are encouraged to protest bullying and cyber-bullying by wearing a blue shirt. (Some are capitalizing by hawking “STOMP Out Bullying!” T-shirts and wristbands.)

• “World Habitat Day”, a UN observance on the 1st Monday of October since 1986, to focus attention on the state of our urban areas and the basic human right to adequate shelter.

1998 [15] “Charmed”, starring Shannen Doherty, Alyssa Milano, and Holly Marie Combs, premieres on the WB

2003 [10] In a State of California recall election, Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected Governor

1978 [35] Rolling Stones debut new single “Beast Of Burden” on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live”

1995 [18] Alanis Morrissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” album reaches #1

1983 [30] 1st “Cabbage Patch Kids” (which caused holiday season frenzy, but now cost a nickel at any garage sale)

1965 [48] A 50-mph wind gust helps golfer Robert Mitera sink history’s longest hole-in-one, on the 447-yard 10th hole at Miracle Hill Golf Club in Omaha, Nebraska

2001 [12] Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants hits his 73rd home run of the season, setting a new (but tainted by steroids) Major League Baseball record

[Tues] World Zombie Day
[Tues] Face Your Fears Day
[Tues] Pirogi Day
[Wed] BFI London Film Festival begins
[Wed] Emergency Nurses Day
[Wed] Top Spinning Day
[Wed] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day

Carry a Tune Week / Emergency Nurses Week / Financial Planning Week / Fire Prevention Week / Great Books Week / Kids’ Goal Setting Week / Mental Illness Awareness Week /
Metric Week / Mystery Series Week / Spinning & Weaving Week / Work From Home Week / World Rainforest Week


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
There are 5 things that a woman should never ever ask a guy, according to “Sassy” magazine. Why? Each is guaranteed to explode into an argument if the guy does not answer correctly, which is to say dishonestly.
1. What are you thinking?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she’s prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
– First published in “BS” 2003.

These may sound unbelievable but they’re all real according to …
• Payne & Fears … your worst nightmare realized!
• Low, Ball & Lynch … can’t get much lower than this.
• Smart & Biggar … do they represent Big & Rich?
• Ziffren, Brittenham, Branca, Fischer, Gilbert-Lurie, Stiffelman, Cook, Johnson, Lande & Wolf … by the time the receptionist gets to ‘how may I help you?’, she’s gasping!
• Ball & Weed … and chicks, and rock & roll!
• Boring & Leach … what can’t we do today?
• Bickers & Bickers… no surprise here, they’re husband & wife.
• Allen, Allen, Allen & Allen… OK already, we got it after the 3rd mention!
• [DISCRETION] Weiner & Cox … they have a reputation for being real pricks.
– First published in “BS” 2008.

I was reading this book called “The History of Glue” … I couldn’t put it down.

☎ What’s the most unusual thing you know how to do?

Question: We go through 11% more of THIS in Autumn than in any other season.
Answer: Food.

To get something done a committee should consist of no more than 3 people, 2 of whom are absent.

Mike Fuller @ KX 94.7 [CHKX] Hamilton ON; Ben Chasan @ 97.9 The Box [KBXX] Houston TX; Steve Sparks @ KZ93 [KTZA] Artesia NM; Drew Dalby @ The Goat [CKLM] Lloydminster, AB; Mark Ervine @ 1Radio, Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland; Chandler Pearce @ 107.9 LeoFM [University of La Verne] La Verne CA; Stephanie Landers @ 96.3 KRIM FM Payson AZ; Nick Walton @ County Linx Radio, Skegness UK; and Les Vee @ WCFM [Williams College],  Williamstown MA.

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