Friday, October 8, 2010          Edition: #4360
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

“The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide”, a companion book to the popular vampire series to be released next April, will include character bios, genealogical charts, plus illustrations & photos (author Stephenie Meyer is proving she’ll leave no stone unturned when it comes to squeezing out blood) . . . Another Kardashian reality TV show is coming in January – “Kourtney & Kim Take New York” (blame it on exec producer Ryan Seacrest) . . . Meantime, Kim Kardashian has hit a milestone: 5 million Twitter followers (why would so many actually care what she has to say?) . . . There’s a theory being floated online that only every third episode of “Glee” (FOX) really matters because the show has 3 main writers who work in rotation, and the one who consistently cranks out the best episodes is Brad Falchuk (simple solution: fire the other two!) . . . Meantime, songs from”Glee” have just broken The Beatles’ record for most appearances on the Billboard ‘Hot 100’ chart, racking up 75 entries (not bad for a bunch of repackaged oldies) . . . 57-year-old former pro wrestling star Hulk Hogan has just undergone another back surgery after recently re-injuring his back while – collecting seashells (you know you’re getting old when …) . . . This is the last week of radiation & chemo therapy for actor Michael Douglas (“Wall Street”), which will be followed by at least 6 weeks of recuperation before he can get back on his feet (no further treatments have been scheduled – a good sign) . . . First came “[Crap] My Dad Says”, now ABC-TV is looking to turn the “Awkward Family Photos” website into a TV show (how does a collection of unfortunate family photos become a half-hour show?) . . . And an insider tells that Jessica Simpson’s recent visit to troops in the Persian Gulf produced an awkward moment when she attempted to perform after eating and only got one song out – before vomiting (almost as embarrassing as when she ‘fluffied’ during a meeting about her fashion line earlier this year!).

• Austin City Limits Festival – The annual 3-day weekend event in the Texas capital includes performances by The Eagles, Flaming Lips, MIA, Muse, Norah Jones, Phish, Spoon, and Vampire Weekend.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Tokyo Police Club (“Champ”).
• Grand Ole Opry’s 85th Birthday Celebration – Saturday Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, and Trace Adkins are among the performers helping to celebrate the Opry anniversary in Nashville.
• International Show of Peace Concert – Saturday over 85,000 are expected to fill Bird’s Nest Stadium in Beijing, China for this free event. Artist involvement seems a bit sketchy (the event has already been postponed once) though Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), Orianthi, and Joe Perry (Aerosmith) are said to be confirmed.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Maroon 5 (“Hands All Over”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Kate Nash (“Made of Bricks”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Antony & The Johnsons (“Swanlights”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Jane Lynch (“Glee”) hosts; Bruno Mars (“Doo-Wops & Hooligans”) is musical guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight OneRepublic (“Waking Up”).

• Alice In Chains – Their concert tonight in Seattle WA will be filmed in 3-D. The show is part of the “BlackDiamondSkye” tour with Deftones and Mastodon.
• Cee Lo Green – “Forget You”, the cleaned-up version of his viral web tune “F— You” is expected to top the charts in England next week. (We still prefer the original.)
• Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong’s 1-week run in the cast of the “American Idiot” musical boosted the Broadway show’s ticket sales to almost $1.1 million last week, a $600,000 increase from the week before and a new record week for the show.
• John Lennon – His 70th birth anniversary is being celebrated with a 2-month festival in his hometown of Liverpool from his birthday (Saturday) through December 9th, which will be 30 years to the day since his death. Tomorrow is also being marked with the preservation of 3 time capsules containing Lennon memorabilia, one to be stored at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The plan is to preserve the capsules for a ceremonial opening October 9, 2040. On top of all this hoopla, virtually everything Lennon recorded solo has been re-released over the past week.
• Lady Antebellum – “Our Kind of Love” is their 3rd consecutive #1 country hit and 4th chart-topping single overall.
• Michael Jackson – Saturday a rare black, bejewelled glove worn by the King of Pop in 1995, said to be worth up to $50,000, is among the lots of his stage costumes, original paintings, and handwritten notes set to go under the hammer at a Julien’s Auctions sale in Macau, China.
• Taylor Swift – She’s been granted an injunction and default judgment against retailers selling unauthorized merchandise featuring her likeness and trademarks. In one instance, counterfeit merchandise was being sold just 6 feet outside the door of one of her concerts.
• Toni Braxton – She may have sold more than 40 million albums in her career but she’s just filed for bankruptcy … again. In her most recent California filing, she claims she owes somewhere between $10 million and $50 million in unpaid debts.
• Trace Adkins – He’s preparing to return to the Middle East to perform for troops during his 3rd USO/Armed Forces Entertainment tour of the region.

• “Life As We Know It” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): Katherine Heigl & Josh Duhamel star as a pair of singles who together become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident. Soundtrack features Amy Winehouse, Elvis Costello, Faith Hill, Pearl Jam, Ray Lamontagne, and … Josh Kelley (Mr Katherine Heigl).
• “My Soul to Take” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Veteran director Wes Craven’s latest fright flick centers around a serial killer who returns to his hometown to stalk 7 children who share the same birthday as the date he was allegedly put to rest. Little-known cast includes Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Denzel Whitaker.
• “Nowhere Boy” ( R-Rated Limited Release Music Bio ): Sam Taylor-Wood’s critically acclaimed John Lennon biopic that focuses on his early years in Liverpool stars 19-year-old Aaron Johnson (whom the 43-year-old director is dating); Kristin Scott Thomas; and Thomas Sangster as Paul McCartney. The film has already had a theatrical run in Britain.
• “Secretariat” ( PG Sports Drama ): Diane Lane (Mrs Josh Brolin) stars in this life story of Penny Chenery, whose racehorse ‘Secretariat’ became the first to win the Triple Crown in 25 years back in 1973. Co-stars Scott Glenn, James Cromwell, John Malkovich. A horse tale along the lines of 2003’s “Seabiscuit”.
• “Stone” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Edward Norton plays a convicted arsonist who uses his wife (Milla Jovovich) to secure his release by getting her to seduce the aged parole officer (Robert De Niro) in charge of his case. The musical score is inspired by material supplied by UK rock band Radiohead.

15%-to-20% is considered the usual tip in restaurants. But what about alternative eating-out situations? A few recommendations from etiquette experts …
• Bar – Emily Post approves equally of either a dollar-per-drink guideline or adding 15%-to-20% to the total tab if food is also ordered.
• Takeout Counter – A couple of dollars, maybe more if it’s a large order and requires more work by the host, such as a salad or something that requires fancy packaging.
• Delivered At the Door – Despite the fact that restaurants tack on a delivery charge, the delivery person doesn’t see any of it, meaning you should tip like you’re sitting at a restaurant table.
• Coffee Counter – If you’ve ordered plain coffee, you’re probably not going to offend by not tipping. If you order something complicated, you need to toss something in the tip jar.
• Alternative Service Restaurants – If you order at the counter and a server brings your order, or if you serve yourself (as at a buffet) but someone cleans up afterward, you can reduce the tip to 10% of the total. (We think tipping’s simple: Reward positive behavior.)

Hands-only CPR doesn’t just eliminate the ‘yuck factor’, it can also save more lives according to a new study. It’s the first large study to show that more adults survived cardiac arrest when a bystander gave them continuous chest presses to simulate a heartbeat, compared to traditional CPR with mouth-to-mouth breathing. Anyone who can put one hand on top of the other, lock their elbows and push hard and fast can do this, says lead researcher Dr Ben Bobrow of the Arizona Department of Health Services. There’s no fear of causing harm. (Throw out your icky CPR face shields, lifeguards!)
– AP

Translations of a woman’s telephone greeting …
• “Hi! (She likes you!)
• “Hey, you” (She’s been thinking about you.)
• “Hell-o” (She’s been thinking about sleeping with you.)
• “Hey” (Impossible to tell.)
• “Hi there” (She’s probably not interested.)
• “Yo” (She’d love to stay friends.)
• “Who is this?” (She doesn’t know who the hell you are.)
– UK “Esquire Magazine”

Back pain is one of today’s most common ailments. Intriguing new evidence suggests that certain foods can quash inflammation that contributes to some kinds of back pain, especially arthritis. A few foods to eat and a few to avoid …
• Eat more canned fish; cherries; flaxseed; ginger; green tea; olive oil; nuts of all kinds, particularly walnuts; and vegetables & fruits.
• Eat less food containing high-fructose corn syrup; margarine; processed foods; saturated fat; trans fats; vegetable oils such as corn, safflower, and sunflower; and vegetable shortening.
Some nutrition experts also suggest taking vitamin D supplements for back pain.
– Condensed from “Reader’s Digest”

Hitting venison on the hoof while driving can be deadly for more than just the deer. According to a study by State Farm Insurance, here are the 5 US states where you’re most likely to wind up with ‘Bambi’ on the hood of your car this Autumn if you aren’t careful (and the probability of doing so) …
5. Montana (1-in-82)
4. South Dakota (1-in-76)
3. Michigan (1-in-70)
2. Iowa (1-in-67)
1. West Virginia (1-in-42)

There are more than 2,000 different varieties of cheese in the world.


1943 [67] Chevy (Cornelius Crane) Chase, Woodstock NY, TV actor (‘Pierce Hawthorne’ on “Community” since 2009, original “Saturday Night Live” 1975-76)/movie actor (“Vacation” series)

1949 [61] Sigourney (Susan) Weaver, NYC, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Alien” series)

1968 [42] Emily Procter, Raleigh NC, TV actress (‘Calleigh Duquesne’ on “CSI: Miami” since 2002, “The West Wing” 2000-06)

1970 [40] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“Inside Job”, ‘Jason Bourne’ films)/screenwriter (1998 Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)

1980 [30] Nick Cannon, San Diego CA, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2009)/movie actor (“Drumline”, “Roll Bounce”)/wed to singer Mariah Carey (2008)

1993 [17] Angus T Jones, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Jake Harper’ on sitcom “Two & A Half Men” since 2003)

Classic rocker Jackson Browne (“Running On Empty”) is 62; TV personality Sharon Osbourne (“America’s Got Talent”) is 58; TV actor Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) is 57; Movie director Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”) is 46; Movie actor Brandon Routh (“Superman Returns”) is 31.

Rock singer David Lee Roth (Van Halen) is 56; Rock drummer Mike Malinin (Goo Goo Dolls) is 43; NFL quarterback Brett Favre (Minnesota Vikings) is 41; Rock singer/guitarist Dean Roland (Collective Soul) is 38; TV personality Mario Lopez (“Extra!”) is 37; NASCAR racing driver Dale Earnhardt Jr is 36.

• “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the 42nd celebration of the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’ through October 16th. It also features a “Thanksgiving Day Parade” (CTV).
• “Nobel Peace Prize”, as the 2010 winner is announced at Oslo’s Norwegian Nobel Institute.
• “Pierogi Day” (also spelled pyrogy, perogi, pirogi), honoring the traditional Eastern European dish consisting of boiled dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with various ingredients. They’re best served while wearing a babushka. So what’s the yummiest kind?
• “Touch Tag Day”, an annual salute to the schoolyard game that almost every kid has played in some version. The game that’s variously known as ‘Touch’, ‘Tag’, ‘It’, ‘Chasey’, and ‘Catching’ has been played by children for thousands of years, going back as far as Ancient Egypt. Best thing about it … the equipment is really cheap!
• “World Egg Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Friday of October to celebrate the many uses of chicken embryos.

• “Hispanic Heritage Day”, a highlight of “Hispanic Heritage Month”. According to the US Census Bureau, about 33 million people or 12% of America’s population is of Hispanic origin. The estimated number of Hispanics residing in Canada is now circa 550,000.
• “International Alan Day”, celebrating anyone with the name ‘Alan’, ‘Allan’, ‘Alannis’, ‘Al’, ‘Allen’ or anything vaguely in the area.
• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’) circa 1000 AD … almost 500 years before Christopher Columbus.
• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 189 member countries, oversees the co-ordination of the global postal service. When was the last time you actually wrote something on a piece of paper and mailed it snail-mail?

• “Clergy Appreciation Day”, an annual salute to acknowledge and celebrate the efforts of those who lead, no matter their religion or creed.
• “International Newspaper Carrier Day”, honoring everyone  who is now, or once was, a newspaper carrier. That list would number in the thousands, if not millions.
• “Pumpkin Regatta”, the 12th annual in Windsor NS where racers compete in watercraft made from pumpkins weighing as much as 300 kg (660 lbs). Participants have to be physically fit because a pumpkin doesn’t exactly glide through water easily.
• “World Mental Health Day”, a day for global mental health education & awareness first celebrated in 1992 at the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, which operates in more than 150 countries.

• Thanksgiving Day in Canada, observed annually since 1879. Originally the date was proclaimed annually and changed year-to-year. In 1957, the Canada’s Parliament decided it would be observed each year on the 2nd Monday in October.

2005 [05] Martha Stewart begins her prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy in the ImClone stock trading case (her career has never really recovered)

1898 [112] McGill University beats Queen’s University 3-2 in the 1st Canadian Intercollegiate football game (such explosive offence!)

1967 [43] 1st ‘Breathalyzer’ test for alcohol consumption is used on a speeding motorist

1978 [32] ‘World’s Largest Pizza’ measures 80 ft (24 m) in diameter (Glens Falls NY)

[Mon] Columbus Day (USA)
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day (Canada)
[Mon] International African Diaspora Day
[Mon] National Coming Out Day
[Mon] Kick Butt Day
This Week Is … Temp Help Week
This Month Is … Spectacle Of the Geese Month


• Pi-shaped pie.
• Dark meat is separated from white meat using a laser.
• Everyone mentions broadband, Linux, or dual-core processors in their ‘I am thankful for’ speech.
• Lego gravy boat.
• Your host is pretending the carving knife is a light saber.
• Old hard-drive platters being used as coasters.
• Buns are in the shape of ‘Princess Leia’s hair.
– Adapted from

• Buy at least one item of furniture somewhere besides the Goodwill.
• Wear a suit to something other than a wedding or funeral.
• Stop using flags as curtains.
• Finish high school.
• Own a pair of underwear your mom didn’t buy you.
• Get a job that doesn’t require a name tag and a paper hat.

It seems more & more couples are dispensing with stuffy traditional weddings and looking for more inventive and creative ways to celebrate their big day. What’s the strangest, craziest, most bizarre wedding theme you’ve experienced?

The only short meetings are when no one shows up.

Today’s Question: Friday is the most common day for THIS to happen; and it almost always happens between 9 and 11 am.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bank robberies.

If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.

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