Thursday, October 8, 2015          Edition: #5345

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

★ 24-year-old Chloe Goins, the model who sparked a criminal investigation into sex assault allegations against Bill Cosby, has now filed a civil suit claiming Cosby drugged and assaulted her at the Playboy Mansion in LA in 2008, when she was a teenager. She’s demanding more than $75,000 in damages for mental anguish, loss of self-esteem and dignity. News of the lawsuit emerges as Cosby prepares to be deposed on Friday in relation to claims he acted inappropriately with Judy Huth during a party at the Playboy Mansion in 1974, when she was just 15. It will be the first time he’s spoken about it in a decade.
★ Is something up on NBC-TV’s “The Voice”? There’s no doubt coaches Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani have chemistry. Both recently single, the stars shamelessly flirt – she called him “sweet” on a recent episode of the singing competition, and he gave her a near lapdance. It may be happening off-screen too. “They’re a real thing,” a source close to Shelton reveals, adding that the fashion-forward mom (46) is rubbing off on the self-proclaimed redneck (39) and his style is changing. Though another pal counters that the duo are not dating, the snitch notes, “He thinks she’s a badass!”
– @USWeekly
★ And “American Horror Story: Hotel” has drawn hordes of fans to the real hotel on which the show is based. “AHS” die-hards are flocking to Stay on Main in downtown LA, the site of a grisly death in 2013 when it was known as the Cecil Hotel. Elisa Lam was found dead in the hotel’s water tank after the hotel received complaints the water tasted funny. Her death was ruled an accidental drowning, but after LAPD released elevator video of Elisa’s erratic behavior, stories began surfacing she was possessed and the hotel was haunted. Producer Ryan Murphy has confirmed the story was the inspiration for his show’s new season, which premiered last night.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Beirut (“No No No”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Band Perry (“Heart + Beat”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Don Henley (“Cass County”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – The Maccabees (“Marks to Prove It”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – The Vamps (“Wake Up”, out November).
• Meredith Vieira (syndicated) – Ashley Judd (“The Judds: Girls Night Out”); Jewel (“Picking Up the Pieces”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Cee Lo Green (“Heart Blanche”, out November).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Ashley Judd (The Judds) again.

• Darius Rucker – The Fall leg of his “Southern Style” tour opens tonight in Chicago !L. More than 15 stops are planned through November 20th in Toledo OH.
• Iggy Azalea – Her next album will be called “Digital Distortion”, which she says fans can expect next year. But new music from the 25-year-old rapper isn’t far off as she’s teased she will be dropping the first single from the new album at some point in the next few weeks.
• Jason Aldean – This week one of the tractor-trailer rigs carrying equipment for his “Burn It Down” tour was involved in a rollover accident in Prince George, British Columbia. The driver suffered only minor injuries; Aldean and his band members were not involved. The incident caused Tuesday night’s show at the CB Centre in Prince George to be delayed until last night.
• John Lennon – Yoko Ono’s plan to honor his 75th birth anniversary with a world record failed after less than half the required number of attendees turned out. Just 2,000 showed at NYC’s Central Park to attempt to form the ‘Largest Human Peace Sign’. Ono is set to be in Iceland on Lennon’s actual birthday Friday to light the Imagine Peace Tower, which was unveiled in 2007.
• Justin Bieber – The 21-year-old has had ”Purpose” inked across his abs, just days after he announced that will be the name of his 4th studio recording. The stunt comes a month before the album’s official release on November 13th.
• Kendrick Lamar – He’s finally planning to go on the road with a brief “Kunta’s Groove Sessions Tour”. He’s announced “8 cities, 8 nights, 8 intimate shows” on Instagram, but the dates and locations have yet to be revealed.
• Kip Moore – He’s headlining the “2015 Wild Ones Tour” starting tonight in Bethlehem PA and running through early December in Richmond VA. Also on the bill: Chris Cavanaugh, Joey Hyde, and Michael Ray.
• Rihanna – In the November issue of “Vanity Fair” she says she doesn’t do one-night-stands. Quote: ”I haven’t been having sex or even really seeing anybody. I don’t want to wake up the next day feeling guilty.”
• Stevie Wonder – The 65-year-old R&B legend is finally officially divorced after splitting from his 8-year 2nd wife Kai Millard Morris back in 2009. Under terms of the settlement Wonder has agreed to pay $25,000-a-month in child support for the couple’s 2 children.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Black Panther” – Screenwriter Joe Robert Cole, who comes from Marvel’s in-house writing program, is in negotiations to pen this upcoming comic book adaptation. Chadwick Boseman, who played James Brown in “Get On Up”, is attached to star as the prince of the fictional African nation of ‘Wakanda’, who must take over the royal mantel after his father’s murder.
• “Flatliners” – 28-year-old actress Ellen Page (“Freeheld”) is being lined up to star in a reboot of this 1990 sci-fi film that starred Julia Roberts, Kiefer Sutherland, and Kevin Bacon. The story follows a group of medical students who cause themselves surreal mental anguish with their near-death experiments. The reboot has been in development for 2 years.
• “Met Gala Heist” – A heist movie set at the star-studded annual Met Gala in NYC is being developed. The story focuses on a pair of sisters who employ an all-female crew to pull off a robbery during the high profile event. The Met Gala, also known as the Met Ball, is an annual fundraiser to benefit the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.
• “Thor: Ragnorak” – Taika Waititi is in negotiations to direct the 3rd installment in Marvel’s “Thor” franchise. The New Zealander, who’s half-Maori, helmed several episodes of the TV series “Flight Of the Conchords” in addition to penning the script for Disney’s upcoming animated film “Moana”. Star Chris Hemsworth returns as “Thor” on November 3, 2017.
• “The Yellow Birds” – 46-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston is set to co-star alongside 32-year-old Jack Huston in this Iraq War drama. The film’s based on the novel by war veteran Kevin Powers about 2 young soldiers who meet at boot camp and go through the war together. Aniston will play the mother of one. Shooting is set to begin next year.

Brit historian & TV personality Lucy Worsley says romance is dying because it’s become too easy to meet new people via dating apps and the Internet. The slow exquisite torture of love in ‘Jane Austen’ novels no longer exists in the age of Grindr and Tinder, she claims. But that’s not backed up by a recent poll. A Relate survey has found that while younger people are more likely to have met their partner via a dating app or website, the overall majority of some 6,000 couples questioned say they first met face-to-face. Tinder does not release user numbers but says 26 million matches are made every day, and more than 8 billion matches have been made since it launched in 2012. (About the same number as your meddling Aunt Dorothy.)
– “Radio Times”

✗ “If the light is off, then it isn’t on.” (Hillary Duff – “So Yesterday”)
✗ “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.” (Van Halen – “Why Can’t This Be Love”)
✗ “Keep the blood flowing down to your feet, Brother Lois will be around in a minute, with a bucket filled with squirreled meat.” (Prince – “Superfunkycalifragisexy”)
✗ “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday.” (Black Eyed Peas – “I Gotta Feeling”)
✗ “Caught beneath the landslide in a champagne supernova in the sky.” (Oasis – “Champagne Supernova”)
✗ “Late spring and you’re drifting off to sleep, with your teeth in your mouth.” (REM – “You Are the Everything”)
✗ “Everything is good till it goes bad” (Wiz Khalifa – “Fly Solo”)
✗ “Never go in saunas cause they’re crawlin’ with piranhas” (The Lonely Island – “YOLO”)
✗ “Cake cake cake cake cake” (Drake f/Jay Z – “Pound Cake”)
✗ “All my friends, they’re different people” (Neon Trees – “Sleeping With a Friend”)
Honorable mention: “Swag, swag, swag on you. Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue” (Justin Bieber – “Boyfriend”).
– Condensed from

You’d think they’d learn. Once again, a fringe religious group has predicted the end of the world and once again … didn’t happen. The eBible Fellowship website, based in Sharon Hill PA, announced the world would be annihilated on Wednesday. Church founder Chris McCann claimed to have studied The Bible and extrapolated from a previous claim that the world was ending on May 21, 2011 that the correct date was actually October 7, 2915. It’s based partly on the ‘Blood Moon’ – a lunar eclipse combined with a ‘super moon’ – which occurred on September 27th. McCann did give himself some wiggle room, saying: “There’s a strong likelihood that this will happen. Which means there’s an unlikely possibility that it will not.” (Don’t let this guy pick your lotto numbers.)

Tech firm Pegasus Global Holdings is building a full-scale model of a typical mid-size town in the New Mexico desert. The brand new $1 billion community will have enough room for 35,000 people … but nobody will ever live there. The development, named ‘CITE’, is to be opened to researchers experimenting in the fields of transportation, construction, communications, and security. Since no one will live in the town, scientists can run experiments and test new technologies without any threat to people. Construction on the 15-square-mile town – including a fake mall, church, and parks – is scheduled to begin next year with an eye to a 2018 opening. (It’s already applied for an NFL franchise.)
– @MailOnline

For more than 3 weeks 12-year-old Katelyn Thornley from Angleton TX has been sneezing up to 12,000 times a day … approximately 20 times per minute. Her family has consulted with 6 different physicians and been told allergies and viruses are not to blame. The doctors are baffled by the 7th grader’s mysterious sneezing fits, which only stop when she takes Benadryl and falls asleep. But that offers little peace either. “Even in my dreams, I sneeze,” she says.

• Silk can be made from the solidified saliva of a clam.
– BBC News Magazine
• A starfish-killing robot could help save Australia’s Great Barrier Reef.
– “Sydney Morning Herald”


1949 [66] Sigourney (Susan) Weaver, NYC, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Alien” series)  COMING UP: “Ghostbusters” (2016); “Avatar 2” (2017).

1970 [45] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“The Martian”, ‘Jason Bourne’ films)/screenwriter (Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)  UP NEXT: Untitled 5th ‘Bourne’ film (2016).

1980 [35] Nick Cannon, San Diego CA, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2009)/movie actor (“Drumline”)/wed to singer Mariah Carey (2008-15)

1985 [30] Bruno Mars (Peter Hernandez), Honolulu HI, pop singer-songwriter-producer (“Uptown Funk”, “Locked Out of Heaven”)

• “Depression Screening Day”, staged annually on the Thursday of the 1st full week in October by hospitals, clinics, and schools. The program provides free, anonymous screening for depression, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. The goal is to have mental health viewed and treated with the same care as physical health.

• “Pierogi Day” (also spelled pyrogy, perogi, pirogi), honoring the traditional Eastern European dish consisting of boiled dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with various ingredients. They’re best served while wearing a babushka. So what’s the yummiest kind?

• “Touch Tag Day”, an annual salute to the schoolyard game that almost every kid has played in some version. The game that’s variously known as ‘Touch’, ‘Tag’, ‘It’, ‘Chasey’, and ‘Catching’ has been played by children for thousands of years, going back as far as Ancient Egypt. Best thing about it … the equipment is really cheap!

• “World Octopus Day”, an annual celebration of the odd animal with 8 semi-autonomous arms, thousands of smart suckers, cold-adapted blue blood, 3 beating hearts, and eerily advanced intelligence.

• “World Sight Day”, annual day of awareness held on the 2nd Thursday of October, to focus global attention on blindness and vision impairment.

2004 [11] Martha Stewart begins her prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy in a stock trading case (her career never really recovers)

2014 [01] Buffalo Bills are sold to businessman Terry Pegula for $1.4 billion, the highest price paid in history for an NFL team (late previous owner Ralph Wilson paid $25,000 in 1959)

[Fri] “Big Stone Gap”; “Pan” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Costume Swap Day
[Sat] Family Bowling Day
[Sun] “The Walking Dead” season debut (AMC)
[Sun] International Day Of the Girl
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day (Canada)
This Week Is … Temp Help Week
This Month Is … Spectacle Of the Geese Month


• Go to supermarket, try to fit 3 frozen turkeys in pants.
• To give turkey delicious smoky flavor, leave in garage 4 days with car running.
• Buy fake severed finger to put in stuffing … a sure laugh-getter.
• Boil down bag of cranberries to make sauce which will stay untouched in the refrigerator until next July.
• Hook up tubing for gravy I-V.
• Check mother-in-law’s plane reservations. Give thanks for round-trip tickets.
• Practice Heimlich maneuver.
• Be prepared … unbuckle pants now.

Have you ever tried your partner’s hobby? What happened?

• What is the name of your least favorite child?
• In what year did you abandon your dreams?
• What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress?
• At what age did your childhood pet run away?
• In what city did you first experience ennui?
• What is your ex-wife’s newest last name?
• What sports team do you fetishize to avoid meaningful discussion with others?
• What was the middle name of your first rebound?
• On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder?
• When did you stop trying?
– Adapted from

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

Question: There are 3.04 trillion of THESE on Earth.
Answer: Trees.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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