October 18 2019

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Friday, October 18, 2019 – Edition: #6554

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Neil Patrick Harris is recovering from an injury he got nearly two months ago while he and his family were on vacation in Europe. According to Harris, while cliff-climbing in Croatia, he tripped and his hand planted onto a sea urchin. He was able to dig most of the tiny spines out himself, but a few remained, and one became infected after piercing a tendon. Harris says, “Thanks to the surgical talents of Dr. Dan Polatsch and his team, I’m officially urchin free and on the mend.”
★ Julie Andrews says that she saved the life of one of the child actors in “The Sound of Music”. In her new memoir “Home Work: A Memoir of My Hollywood Years”, Andrews discusses filming the 1965 classic alongside the seven-year-old child actress who played Gretl Von Trapp. The two were filming a scene in a boat, and in a terrifying turn of events, the vessel rocked violently and sent them both overboard. Andrews writes: “I have never swum so fast in my life. I could see the poor child flailing away and going under at least twice.” She says the young actress’ fear of water followed her into later life due to the lasting trauma of the incident.
★ Jennifer Aniston just joined Instagram on Tuesday, and already has more than 12 million followers as of Thursday morning. Her appearance on the platform was so welcome that she broke the Guinness World Records title for the fastest time to reach one million followers, achieving the feat in five hours and 16 minutes. That broke the record previously set by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who reached one million followers in five hours and 45 minutes in April. By the way, Aniston will receive the People’s Icon award at the 2019 E! People’s Choice Awards on November 10.
-PopCulture, ContactMusic
★ A new musical based on Robin Williams classic 1993 movie “Mrs. Doubtfire” will premiere on Broadway next spring. The plot of the musical will be similar to the movie, where Williams played an out-of-work actor who loses custody of his kids in a divorce and decides to disguise himself as a Scottish nanny in order to stay close to them.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Taylor Swift, Chris O’Dowd, Angel Olsen (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Wilco (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Anna Kendrick, Kal Penn, Edi Patterson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Orlando Bloom, Yvonne Strahovski, O-Town (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Victoria Beckham, Common
• “The Talk” (CBS): Regina King
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Michelle Pfeiffer, Julie Andrews, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Helen Mirren, Jenna Dewan, Bebe Rexha, guest host Sean Hayes
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Sara Gilbert, Cyndi Lauper
• “Comedy Central Stand-Up Presents…(COMEDY): Some of the funniest up-and-coming comics around perform in their first solo special
• “Long Island Medium” (TLC): Season 14 premiere
• Sid & Judy” (SHOWTIME): Fifty years after the untimely death of Sid Luft’s wife, Judy Garland, his journal provides insight into their marriage

• “Patsy & Loretta” (LIFETIME): The untold true story of the friendship between two of country music’s greatest icons, Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn
• “Good Witch: Curse From a Rose” (HALLMARK): Cassie’s long-lost college roommate, Autumn Delaney, makes an unexpected visit to Grey House on a mission to disrupt Middleton’s Halloween festivities.

• “Watchmen” (HBO): In an alternate-history, present-day United States, superheroes have been outlawed, the internet doesn’t exist, Robert Redford is president, and the country is facing major racial unrest.

• Nicki Minaj – has revealed that she and Adele have teamed up on a song. No more info so far, but it could be part of Adele’s upcoming album. Adele is a big fan of Minaj, and famously rapped Minaj’s verse from Kanye West’s song ‘Monster’ in a “Carpool Karaoke” segment.
• Justin Bieber — is being sued for posting a photo of himself on Instagram. Photographer Robert Barbera is suing for copyright infringement. He’s demanding Bieber turn over all profits from the photo, plus he wants an injunction against the singer from using his work and punitive damages, along with $150,000 per infringement. The photo in question received 3.9 million likes.
• Shakira — just dropped a remix of Camilo and Pedro Capo’s ‘Tutu’, and has teased fans that she will be dropping more new material soon. She didn’t say whether that will happen when she plays the Super Bowl Halftime show with Jennifer Lopez in Miami on February 2.
• Elton John — says Disney ”messed the music up” in the Lion King remake. He described it as a ”huge disappointment.” Quote: ”Music was so much a part of the original and the music in the current film didn’t have the same impact. The magic and joy were lost.”
• Toto — guitarist Steve Lukather says that the band’s current configuration will call it quits once the group’s 40th-anniversary tour ends on Sunday in Philadelphia. Speaking about the possibility of Toto returning with a different lineup, he said: “I don’t know, man. I can’t predict the future.”
• Jimi Hendrix – His estate has announced plans to bring a range of limited-edition artwork to market. The Jimi Hendrix Collection will offer an assortment of high-quality reproductions of his paintings and lyrics, along with photographs and album covers. BTW, Hendrix will be a character in the upcoming third installment of the “Bill & Ted” film franchise.
• Florida Georgia Line – Singer Brian Kelley is co-producing a musical. “May We All” is about a “fledgling country singer who reluctantly comes home after a rough start in Nashville”. It will feature songs by Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Chris Stapleton, Dolly Parton and, of course, Florida Georgia Line. It is scheduled to premiere in Nashville in 2021.
• George Strait — has made history on Billboard’s Country Airplay chart with his latest single ‘The Weight of the Badge’. He is the first artist to place 100 songs on the chart since its inception in 1990. He has hit #1 26 times.

• “Zombieland: Double Tap” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy):  Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family. (Emma Stone, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg)
• “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” (PG, Action/Fantasy):  Maleficent and her goddaughter Aurora begin to question the complex family ties that bind them as they are pulled in different directions by impending nuptials, unexpected allies, and dark new forces at play. (Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Michelle Pfeiffer)
• “Jojo Rabbit” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama, Limited): A World War II satire that follows a lonely German boy who discovers his mother is hiding a young Jewish girl in their attic. Aided only by his idiotic imaginary friend, Adolf Hitler, Jojo must confront his blind nationalism. (Scarlett Johansson, Roman Griffin Davis)
• “Jay and Silent Bob Reboot” (R-Rated, Comedy, Limited):  Jay and Silent Bob return to Hollywood to stop a reboot of the “Bluntman and Chronic” movie from getting made. (Matt Damon, Chris Hemsworth, Ben Affleck)
• “The Lighthouse” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror, Limited): The hypnotic and hallucinatory tale of two lighthouse keepers on a remote and mysterious New England island in the 1890s. (Willem Dafoe, Robert Pattinson)

If the thought of an earthquake or a hurricane gives you chills, what would you think of a combination of the two? Scientists have discovered a mash-up of the two feared disasters – and they’re calling them “stormquakes”. A study in this week’s journal Geophysical Research Letters says that the shaking of the sea floor during hurricanes can rumble like a magnitude 3.5 earthquake and can last for days. These quakes are fairly common, although they haven’t been noticed before because, well…there was a hurricane going on. The study’s lead author points out that a stormquake is more an oddity than something that can hurt you, because no one is standing on the sea floor during a hurricane.
(Or at least, not for long!)
(And I bet they sound better than some mash-ups that I’ve been forced to listen to here on the surface!)
(See? A Shark-nado doesn’t sound so far-fetched now, does it? Oh. Yes. Yes, it does.)

➢ Four inmates who repeatedly escaped from a federal prison in Texas so they could return with whiskey and cellphones are back in custody after they were finally caught in the act. The men were spotted leaving the prison grounds and cutting through a neighboring ranch. When arrested later, they were found to be carrying contraband in bags, including whiskey and cellphones. The arrests came after repeated reports of their escapes and returning to the prison with contraband, according to the statement. (I can understand the LEAVING part…)
➢A town in Italy has banned the use of Google Maps because it was leaving tourists stranded. Officials in the mountain village of Baunei say that last year alone, the local fire service and mountain rescue team have been called 144 times to rescue motorists who had followed the directions of Google Maps to reach “hidden beaches” and ended up driving on lanes or trails that are unsuitable for cars. Police have put up signs that read “Do not follow the directions suggested by Google Maps”. (Which is like what that shady cop told ME when I got lost in a foreign country…)
➢ A controversial new reality show poses a predicament that would make any animal lover wince. Britain’s “Meat the Family” is asking families to adopt and raise animals that might soon go to slaughter — unless they pledge to stop eating meat for good. If they don’t, they’ll be forced to eat their own pet. The show challenges four families to treat an animal like a member of the family for three weeks, then decide whether or not to put the animal in the oven or send it to a sanctuary to live out its life. The first episodes featured a lamb, pig, chicken and a calf as “pets”. (Of course, this is nothing new for anyone who has lived on a farm…)
-ABC, OddityCentral, NYPost,

A family in Hawaii has set a Guinness World Record for growing a 5.6 pound (2.54kg) avocado. The Pokini family’s avocado tree in Kula on Maui reaches a height of 20 feet. They say that the champion avocado was put to good use when they “made a whole bunch of guacamole” to share with family and friends.


1938 [81] Dawn Wells, Reno NV, TV actress (‘Mary Anne’ on “Gilligan’s Island” 1964-67)

1952 [67] Chuck Lorre, Long Island NY, TV producer (“The Big Bang Theory”, “Two and a Half Men”, “Mom”)

1960 [59] Jean-Claude Van Damme (Van Varenberg), Brussels Belgium, action movie actor (“The Expendables 2″, “Timecop”)

1979 [40] Ne-Yo (Shaffer Smith), Camden AR, pop-R&B singer-songwriter (‘Let Me Love You’, ‘Miss Independent’)/TV personality (judge on “World of Dance” 2017-present)

1984 [35] Lindsey Vonn, Saint Paul MN, ski racer (First American woman to win an Olympic gold medal in downhill skiing – at 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver)/2-time World Champion/engaged to N.J. Devils defenceman P.K. Subban

1984 [35] Freida Pinto, Mumbai, India, movie actress (“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”, “Slumdog Millionaire”) COMING UP…”Love. Wedding. Repeat”, 2020

1987 [32] Zac Efron, San Luis Obispo CA, movie actor (“Baywatch”, “High School Musical”) COMING UP…”Scoob”, 2020

SATURDAY- Michael Gambon (“Harry Potter”) is 79; John Lithgow (“3rd Rock From the Sun”) is 74; Jon Favreau (“Iron Man”) is 53; Trey Parker (“South Park”) is 50; Chris Kattan (“Saturday Night Live”) is 49; Jason Reitman (“Juno”) is 42; Zac Barnett (American Authors) is 33

SUNDAY- Viggo Mortensen (“Green Book”) is 61; Snoop Dog (‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’) is 48; John Krasinski (“The Office”) is 40

• “Alaska Day”, commemorating the formal transfer of Alaska from Russian to USA control on this date in 1867, one of the sneakiest real estate deals ever. The US paid $7.2 million, less than 2 cents an acre. Alaska currently produces about 600,000 barrels of oil per day.

• “Chocolate Cupcake Day”. They don’t count, right? They’re just little.

• “No Beard Day”, an observance likely started by some guy’s extremely chafed partner. (And if today is No Beard Day for you, so is tomorrow, the next day, and a few days after that…)

• “World Menopause Day”, a collaboration between the International Menopause Society and the World Health Organization for improving awareness on the subject.

• “Mammography Day”, observed on the 3rd Friday in October, “Breast Cancer Awareness Month”. On this day, or sometime this month, women are encouraged to make a mammography appointment.

• “Dress Like a Dork Day”, when all you need to do is slick back your hair, get out the plaid polyester pants, hideous shirt, suspenders, white knee socks, and your favorite dickey. Add horn-rimmed glasses fixed with masking tape, a fanny pack, and a pocket protector and you’re good to go!
• “Evaluate Your Life Day”, a time to “sit back and reflect on your contribution to humanity and see if you’re really heading toward where you want to be”. (I would make a joke here about my life, but my life beat me to it…)
• “Seafood Bisque Day”, celebrating the smooth, creamy, and highly-seasoned soup of French origin. Based on a strained broth of crustaceans, it’s made with lobster, crab, or shrimp.

• “Brandied Fruit Day”, a day to celebrate booze with a pit.
• “International Day of the Air Traffic Controller”, to recognize the attentive people who keep flight passengers safe by acting as an eye in the sky.  Roger that! (Considered one of the most stressful jobs, but it’s the pilot who gets the applause when the plane lands safely!)
• “Suspenders Day”. If you prefer suspenders instead of a belt (how snappy!), this would be your day to celebrate.
• “World Osteoporosis Day”, focusing awareness on a major cause of bone fractures in older populations. Osteoporosis is a disease in which the density and quality of bone is reduced, increasing the risk of fracture.

1988 [31] The TV comedy “Roseanne” starring Roseanne Barr, John Goodman and Laurie Metcalf premieres (spinoff show “The Conners” premieres Oct. 16, 2018)

2000 [19] Demi Moore divorces Bruce Willis due to irreconcilable differences after 13 years of marriage

2005 [14] An image of a naked John Lennon curled around Yoko Ono, taken on the last day of his life, is named top magazine cover of the past 40 years (the “Rolling Stone” cover shot is by Annie Leibovitz)

2008 [11] Adele is the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live”.  Hosted by Sarah Palin, the show gave her a huge boost of exposure (performs ‘Cold Shoulder’ and ‘Chasing Pavements’)

2011 [08] A Birmingham, UK court declares 4 of the original members of UB40 bankrupt, after selling 70+ million records over their 33-year career

1977 [42] In Game 6 of the World Series vs LA Dodgers, NY Yankees slugger Reggie Jackson (‘Mr. October’) hits 3 home runs off 3 consecutive pitches from 3 different pitchers (Yankees win the game and the series, the team’s first since 1962)


✓ You can light a Bic lighter about 3,000 times before it runs out of fluid.
✓ Vatican City could fit inside the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
✓ A trip around a baseball diamond is 20 yards longer than a goal-to-goal run on a football field.
✓ When ‘feminine scents’ such as vanilla are sprayed in women’s clothing stores, sales increase.
✓ A tossed coin is slightly more likely to land the way it was facing when flipped.
✓ The melting temperature of bubble gum is 125 degrees Fahrenheit.

• “Just because I’m rich, it doesn’t mean I’ll change. Ha!”
• “Prenup”
• “How many lottery tickets can I buy with all this money?”
• “Should I flush this $100 bill now that I’ve wiped with it?”
• “Wow. Five dollars.”
• “Finally, my wife and kids’ birthdays paid off.”
• “I suppose I’m going to need a will now.”
• “That’s a ‘lotto’ money!”
• “I’m going to buy a dinosaur.”
• “How ‘bout that! My pockets are deeper than my thoughts!”
• Now, where did I put that thing?”

Best of BS . . .
• Drop the chocolates and flowers and back away slowly.
• Tell her “K”, leave with your buddies, and don’t come back until tomorrow.
• Think of it as if she said it with “air quotes”.
• Do the opposite of whatever she tells you to do next. Trust me, just do it.
• Immediately say, “Yes! You ARE fine, baby!”
• Whatever you do, don’t tell her to “Calm down”.
• You’d better pray that she doesn’t follow it with your name or the word “Sweetheart”.
• Sleep with one eye open.
• Grab the bag you have under your bed marked: “Emergency”. Proceed to the airport. Tell the man “the eagle has landed” and you’ll be escorted to a deserted island.  Stay there until further notice.
• Maybe she’s fine.

Why is it called ‘foot falling asleep’ and not ‘coma-toes’?

What to you is a relationship red flag?

Question:  6% of men have done THIS before a wedding.
Answer:  Plucked their eyebrows

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.


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