Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• On Sunday Brit royals Prince William & Kate Middleton (Duke & Duchess of Cambridge) enjoyed a private celebration of their 1st wedding anniversary with friends at another unrelated event in an undisclosed UK location. Their lavish wedding at Westminster Abbey a year ago was watched by an estimated 2 billion people worldwide. (Clearly from all the fawning media coverage, their honeymoon with the public is still on.)
• Saturday night reality TV star Kim Kardashian was tweeting while she was eating at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner at the Washington Hilton in Washington DC. Other celebs attending included Charlize Theron, George Clooney, Kate Hudson, Lindsay Lohan, and Reese Witherspoon. Late night TV host Jimmy Kimmel was the emcee. (The event has been nicknamed the ‘nerd prom’ by many, explaining the #nerdprom hash tag.)
• In an interview on NYC’s Now FM, UK boy-band The Wanted claim that Christina Aguilera completely ignored them backstage during their recent appearance on “The Voice” (NBC), bandmate Tom Parker going so far as to call her ‘a total [byatch]’. Nathan Sykes says she may have been in a bad mood that day, but nevertheless was ‘quite rude’. (This is nothing we haven’t heard before.)
• 37-year-old “American Idol” host/KIIS-FM radio personality Ryan Seacrest has now inked a ‘groundbreaking’ multi-platform deal with NBC-Universal that extends his contract for 2 more years. In addition to his continuing red carpet duties at awards shows and his post as managing editor of E! News, he’ll now have an increased presence on NBC-TV’s news, entertainment, and sports programming, from the “Today” show to the Summer Olympics. (Saturation point reached?)
– E! Online
• Marvel’s epic superhero movie “The Avengers” has recorded the 3rd-largest opening of all-time in Britain, taking in £2.5 million (over $4 million) on its opening day alone. The Joss Whedon pic, which stars Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and Samuel L Jackson, has already broken launch-day records in New Zealand and Taiwan. It will have grossed well over $36 million in foreign box office before being released in North America this Friday. (It’s a hit before it even opens at home … brilliant marketing.)
• And a slew of (sorta) famous names including Carly Simon, actor Ewan McGregor, Kris Kristofferson, Marianne Faithfull, and Rosanne Cash have teamed up to record “Toast to Freedom”, a song commemorating the 50th anniversary of Amnesty International. Most of the recording was done at late rocker Levon Helm’s converted barn studio in Woodstock NY. The fundraising single will celebrate the human rights work undertaken by the organization, which was founded in Britain in July 1961. (This would have been a cutting-edge idea … in 1985.)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS) – Yelawolf (“Radioactive”). Rerun.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Child prodigy Jackie Evancho, violinist Joshua Bell, and Italian singer Vittorio Grigolo perform; the remaining couples perform.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Andrew Bird (“Break It Yourself”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC) – Tom Morello f/Ben Harper (“World Wide Rebel Songs”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Carrie Underwood (“Blown Away, out tomorrow); also performs a live webcast at 8 pm EDT as part of the “Live on Letterman” series.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated) – “American Idol” castoff Elise Testone.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Trisha Yearwood (“Love Songs”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon Rangers (“Rare Bird Alert”).
• “The View” (ABC) – BoB (“Strange Clouds”).
• “The Voice” (NBC) – Blake Shelton performs his #1 country hit “Drink On It”; 8 vocalists compete; the teams perform 2 songs together.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She’s presented her own label with an award at the “Music Week Awards” in London. XL recordings won ‘Record Label Of the Year’, thanks in no small part to the success of her album “21”. The company won 4 prizes overall.
• Bob Dylan – The 70-year-old folk-rock legend has been named one of 13 honorees for the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor for a US civilian. The awards will be handed out later this Spring.
• George Jones – The 80-year-old country music icon is recuperating from an upper respiratory infection, forcing the cancellation of 9 shows, mostly in Canada. Although he’s said to be doing much better, doctors are ordering mandatory downtime in order to enable his recovery.
• Jack White – He’s composing the score to next Summer’s Western movie adventure “The Lone Ranger”, starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. (Will this include his rendition of the “William Tell Overture”, the original TV show’s theme?)
• Lady Gaga – The South Korean government banned those under 18 from attending Friday night’s kick-off of her “Born This Way Ball 2012” tour in Seoul. The Christian Council of Korea protested the gig, calling her live shows ‘too homosexual and pornographic’. (Really? We would have gone with ‘contrived’ and ‘over-the-top’.)
• Rolling Stones – The 1st museum devoted to the legendary rockers has opened in the small German town of Luechow, featuring thousands of pieces of memorabilia such as a signed pool table they once took on tour, musical instruments, posters, and a Stones pinball machine. Perhaps the most unusual ‘exhibit’ … urinals in the shape of the group’s famous ‘lips’ logo.
• Selena Gomez & The Scene – Little-known California rock band Luce has filed a $1-million plagiarism lawsuit against her, claiming her 2010 track “A Year Without Rain” features a chorus that’s virtually identical to their 2005 single “Buy a Dog”. (Got that one on your iPod?)
• TLC – They’ve jumped on the resurrection bandwagon, announcing they’ll be touring with a virtual version of late singer Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes. She won’t appear as a projection á la ‘hologram Tupac’ at Coachella, but through old video footage, with her vocals included as part of the show. Lopes passed away 10 years ago this month in a car crash in Honduras.
WHO GIVES A TWEET?
A new Carnegie Mellon University study finds that Twitter users consider only about a third of the tweets they receive worthwhile. And 1-in-4 tweets, they say, aren’t perceived as useful at all. The researchers suggest the following ways to improve your tweet content …
✗ Tweets that simply update your current mood or activity are the most strongly disliked.
✗ Old news is … not news. Twitter emphasizes real-time information.
✗ Linking to a blog or photo without giving a reason for it is not interesting to followers.
✗ Don’t whine. Negative sentiments and complaints are almost universally disliked.
✓ Tweets that include questions to followers or links to related content are more often liked.
✓ Contribute to the story. Add a fact or opinion before sending a retweet.
✓ Limit Twitter syntax. Overuse of #hashtags, @mentions, and abbreviations makes tweets hard to read.
✓ Keep it short. Even though the limit is 140 characters, followers still appreciate conciseness.
WOMAN’S BEST FRIEND:
More than 40% of cat & dog owners say they find their pet better company than their partner, according to a Direct Line poll. Women are most likely to opt to spend time with their pets, with 45% saying they prefer being with them, compared with 30% of men. Nearly 9-out-of-10 pet owners also say that when they have had a bad day, spending time with their pet makes them feel less stressed. 86% think that just having a pet at home helps relieve tension. (Right. Ever visit someone with a couple of dogs, a cat, some birds, and a hamster? Pure tranquility.)
– PA News
‘Hangover Heaven’ is a new mobile treatment center for tourists who spent the night before drinking in all the nightlife Las Vegas has to offer. For a fee, they get a quick morning-after way to rehydrate, rejuvenate, and resume their revelry. The service’s goal is for its custom-fitted bus to arrive within an hour at the caller’s hotel. Once aboard, treatment can take less than an hour for a $90-basic I-V of saline solution, B vitamins, and vitamin C. A premium package ($150), provides 2 bags. The doctor on the bus may also administer prescription drugs for pain and nausea. (Just one more way to make sure the money you take to Vegas … stays in Vegas.)
BS AMAZING FACT:
A British study has proven that chemicals secreted from your armpits (pheromones) increase the perception of your sexiness. (If you believe all the Hollywood gossip, that’s how you can tell that Leo DiCaprio is sexy … all the way over here.)
– Mail Online
BS CHRONOMETER 04.30.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933  Willie Nelson, Abbott TX, legendary country singer (“On the Road Again”)/songwriter (“Crazy”)/sometime actor (“Beer For My Horses”)/Farm Aid co-founder (1985)/environmentalist (Willie Nelson Bio-diesel)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1993)
1959  Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (2006-present)
1971  Chris Henderson, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“It’s Not My Time”, “Here Without You”)
1982  Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, movie actress (“Spider-Man” films, “Elizabethtown”)
1986  Dianna Agron, Savannah GA, TV actress (‘Quinn Fabray’ on “Glee” since 2009)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, honoring the ‘great contribution snippers & coiffeurs make to our self-esteem’. Back in 1994, salon owner Anne Camilleri of San Carlos, California came up with the idea to recognize her employees. So don’t forget to say ‘thanks for the good hair day!’
• “International Jazz Day”, this inaugural event organized by UNESCO celebrates worldwide appreciation of the music form. Special concerts are scheduled in New Orleans, NYC, Paris, and in more than a dozen other countries.
• “Screen-Free Week” begins, when we’re all encouraged to turn off our electronics and enjoy the world and the people around us.
• “SpankOut Day USA”, initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching kids appropriate behavior.
• “Walpurgis Night” in many parts of Northern Europe, when legend has it that witches ride on broomsticks to revel with the devil. The tradition is celebrated by university students in particular (in bars). In Sweden, it’s called “Feast of Valborg”; in Switzerland, simply “May Day Eve”.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997  In a 1st for network TV, Ellen DeGeneres ‘comes out’ on her sitcom “Ellen” (Laura Dern plays her love interest)
2002  Germany’s Radio Paradiso initiates the “Thousand Babies For Berlin” promotion whereby morning personality Simone Panteleit encourages listeners to ‘get pregnant with me!’ and plays mushy tunes to get them in the mood (1st 1,000 newborns registered win prizes)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004  Michael Jackson is arraigned in California’s Santa Barbara County court on child molestation charges, to which he pleads innocent
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1939  1st public demonstration of ‘Television’ (New York World’s Fair)
1952  ‘Mr Potato Head’ becomes 1st toy ever advertised on TV. A few facts …
✓ In the beginning ‘Mr Potato Head’ was just a set of eyes, ears, a few noses and mouths. You had to supply your own potato for the body. Nowadays the entire toy is made of plastic.
✓ ‘Mrs Potato Head’ joined the spudster on toy store shelves in 1953, and the Potato Head kids, ‘Spud’, ‘Yam’ and ‘Sweet Potato’ arrived in 1994.
✓ ‘Mr Potato Head’ traded in his cigars for a pair of running shoes when he became official ‘spokespud’ of the American Cancer Society’s “Great American Smokeout” in the 1980s.
✓ Comedian Don Rickles was the voice of ‘Mr Potato Head’ in the “Toy Story” movies.
– Hasbro Inc
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1986  Ashrita Furman covers 12 miles in 10 hrs, 40 minutes … doing somersaults all the way (Massachusetts)
1988  ‘Largest Banana Split’ measures 4.55-miles-long (Pennsylvania)
1999  Fabrice Gropaiz skates up to the Arc de Triomphe 28 months and 17,000 miles after leaving Paris, to become 1st to circle the globe … on roller blades
BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[May 1] Batman Day / Childhood Depression Awareness Day / Law Day / Lei Day / May Day / Mother Goose Day / Dance Day / New Homeowners Day / School Principals Day / Stepmothers Day / World Asthma Day
[May 2] Roberts Rule of Order Day
[May 3] Garden Meditation Day / Different Colored Shoes Day / Paranormal Day / World Press Freedom Day
[May 4] “The Avengers” opens in movie theaters / Intergalactic Star Wars Day / International Space Day / International Firefighters Day / Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy / No Pants Day / Tuba Day / Respect for Chickens Day
[May 5] Bladder Cancer Awareness Day / Cartoonists Day / Kentucky Derby / Homebrew Day / Totally Chipotle Day / Cinco de Mayo / International Midwives Day / Free Comic Book Day
[May 6] Full Moon / Buddha Day / No Diet Day / No Homework Day / Occupational Safety & Health Day / World Laughter Day
[May 7] Accountants Day / Melanoma Monday
[May 8] Teacher Day / No Socks Day / VE Day / World Red Cross Day
[May 9] Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity / Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day / Third Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day / School Nurse Day
[May 11] “Dark Shadows” opens in movie theaters / Eat What You Want Day / Child Care Provider Day / Military Spouse Appreciation Day
[May 12] Birthmothers Day / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day / International Nurses Day / Limerick Day / Babysitters Day / Miniature Golf Day / Windmill Day / Stay Up All Night Day / Train Day / World Belly Dance Day
[May 13] Mothers Day / Rural Life Sunday
[May 14] Chicken Dance Day / Women’s Check-up Day
[May 15] International Day of Families / Chocolate Chip Day / Safety Dose Day
[May 16] “The Dictator” opens in movie theaters / Biographers Day / Sea Monkey Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day
[May 17] World Hypertension Day / World Telecommunications Day
[May 18] “Battleship”; “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” open in movie theaters / Bats Day / Endangered Species Day / International Museum Day / Bike to Work Day / Pizza Party Day / Visit Your Relatives Day
[May 19] Artichoke Day / US Armed Forces Day / Preakness Stakes
[May 20] “2012 Billboard Music Awards” (ABC) / Eliza Doolittle Day / Neighbor Day / Weights & Measures Day
[May 21] Victoria Day (Canada) / Wait Staff Day / World Day for Cultural Diversity
[May 22] International Day for Biological Diversity / Maritime Day
[May 23] World Turtle Day
[May 24] Brothers Day / International Tiara Day
[May 25] “Chernobyl Diaries”; “Men in Black 3”; “Moonrise Kingdom” open in movie theaters / Don’t Fry Day / Heat Awareness Safety Day / Missing Children’s Day / Tap Dance Day / Geek Pride Day
[May 27] “BAFTA TV Awards” (London) / Cellophane Tape Day / Indianapolis 500 / Whit Sunday
[May 28] Sierra Club Day / Memorial Day (USA)
[May 29] “Madonna 2012 World Tour” begins (Tel Aviv) / International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers
[May 30] Senior Health & Fitness Day / World MS Day
[May 31] Hug Your Cat Day / World No-Tobacco Day
[Jun 2] Queen’s Diamond Jubilee begins (UK)
[Jun 3] “MTV Movie Awards”
[Jun 6] “CMT Music Awards”
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO HONEST:
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince you proudly announce, “It was me!”
• When someone asks why you’re selling an item at your garage sale you say: “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than toss it out I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When you call your ex at 3 am you admit, “I’m hammered and I’m desperate.”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks, “Heavy traffic?” you say, “No, I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight you end up sleeping on the couch.
(Today is “Honesty Day”, to celebrate those who are honorable in all their dealings.)
– First published in “BS” 2002.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Is ‘lunch hour’ an archaic idea? Many office employees say they don’t care about taking a break from work. They’d rather eat a 15-minute lunch at their desk in order to leave work earlier at the end of the day. (By comparison, lunch is often a 2-hour ritual in low-stress France.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
An ‘extravagance’ is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your spouse.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: One of THESE loses about $250 per year on average.
Answer: Bank teller.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The dog’s kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.
WELCOME, BS NEWBIES:
Chad O’Hara @ B95.5 [WYJB] Albany, New York; Scott Baines @ 89.3 K-Rock [CIJK] Kentville, Nova Scotia; Ian Gottlieb @ KCRH 89.9 [Chabot College] Hayward, California; Winifred Smail @ The Rock of Austin [KLBJ] Austin, Texas; and Russtini @ RTM2 Angkasapuri, Malaysia.