August 30 2019

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Friday, August 30, 2019 – Edition: #6521

100% Grade A Bull!


BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:

There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday September 2, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 3rd.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Matthew McConaughey will join the University of Texas as a professor this fall as a teacher in the university’s Department of Radio-Television-Film. He’s been a visiting instructor at the flagship campus in Austin since 2015, and will continue teaching a script-to-screen film production class for which he developed the course curriculum. The university says McConaughey is respected for his “willingness to work with students beyond the classroom”.
-TheGuardian
★ Kevin O’Leary says he is “devastated” after a second person has died as a result of a boating accident the “Shark Tank” star and his wife were in over the weekend. O’Leary confirmed his involvement in the crash, but placed blame on the other boat. He released a statement saying: “On late Saturday night, I was a passenger in a boat that was involved in a tragic collision with another watercraft that had no navigation lights on and then fled the scene.” He added that he sent his “heartfelt prayers and condolences” to the victims and their families.
-TheBlast
★ Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and Bruce Springsteen are among the stars expected to walk the red carpet at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival, which runs Sept. 5-15. Other A-listers expected to attend include Joaquin Phoenix, Daniel Craig, Matt Damon, Christian Bale, Nicole Kidman and Natalie Portman.
-GlobalNews
★ Kevin Bacon says he was initially offended by the “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game. The game — which challenges players to connect anyone involved in the film industry back to Kevin through their film roles in six steps or less – began in 1994. Speaking on Alex Rodriguez’s podcast ‘The Corp’, Bacon said: ”[I thought] They’re making fun of me…I thought the joke was: Can you believe that such a lightweight could be connected to Laurence Olivier or Meryl Streep or whatever in six steps or less?” But it didn’t bother him for long. In 2007, he set up a charity named “Six Degrees”, which encourages people to donate or raise money for any charity in the United States.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sen. Bernie Sanders, Eugenio Derbez, the Raconteurs (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Millie Bobby Brown, Finn Wolfhard, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Noah Schnapp, Sadie Sink, Ramy Youssef, Ivan Orkin (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeff Daniels, Katy Tur, Jacob Soboroff (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Will Ferrell, Billy Crudup, Robin Thede (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jessica Alba, Gabrielle Union, Josh Gondelman (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): RuPaul (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Taraji P. Henson (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jake Gyllenhaal, Kumail Nanjiani, Melody Yang
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jason Momoa (R)
• “Big Family: The Story of Bluegrass Music” (PBS): Bluegrass music’s history and insights from musicians as to how it transcends generational, cultural and geographical boundaries.

SATURDAY-
• “My One & Only” (HALLMARK): Contestants on “The One” try to determine if they’re fated to be together. Meanwhile, sparks fly between the female contestant and the handsome ranch owner who acts as their guide.
• “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” (HBO): Lee Israel is a frustrated, hard-drinking author who can barely afford to pay her rent or bills in 1990s New York. She soon hatches a scheme to forge letters by famous writers and sell them to bookstores and collectors.

SUNDAY-
• “Big Brother” (CBS): A new head of household is crowned; two houseguests are put on the block for eviction.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran – His record-smashing “Divide” tour ended on Tuesday night, and it has been officially recognized by Pollstar as the highest-grossing tour of all time. It netted a staggering overall gross of $775.6 million from 8.9 million tickets sold on six continents. The previous record was U2’s “360” tour, which took in $735.3 million.
• Shawn Mendes — has earned his first ever No. 1 hit. ‘Señorita’, his collaboration with Camila Cabello, tops the Billboard Hot 100 chart dated Aug. 30. Mendes is one of eight songwriters credited on the song, which he and Cabello performed on Monday night’s MTV Video Music Awards.
• Kelly Clarkson — suffered a burst ovarian cyst three months ago. She hasn’t had much luck with her health recently; in May she developed appendicitis. She says, “Thankfully, I’m great now.”
• Bon Jovi – Their next album will be called “Bon Jovi: 2020”. Jon Bon Jovi says that it will feature ”socially conscious” themes. Among the topics will be the recent shootings in Ohio and Texas. A release date hasn’t been announced. (But you probably can guess what year it’s coming out…)
• Ozzy Osbourne – He and former Billy Idol guitarist Billy Morrison joke that they have a plan to survive under a bridge, living off free Coca-Cola and Chipotle meals if their careers ever collapse. The pair was discussing how they’d both been injured over the past year; along with the health issues that forced Ozzy to take most of 2019 off. Morrison fractured his forearm in a fall.
• Chris Cornell — Gibson has announced a new limited-edition model of their classic guitar named after him. Launched Tuesday, the Chris Cornell ES 335 will be available worldwide beginning Tuesday.
• Maren Morris – She scored the most CMA Awards nominations of any act this year, with six nods. Brothers Osborne are two behind her with four, and a whole bevy of artists, including Luke Combs, Chris Stapleton, Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton and Kacey Musgraves, earned three apiece. The 2019 CMAs air live from Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 13.
• Brandi Carlile – Yes, that’s a string version of her song ‘The Joke’ in a new American Express ad. In the spot, a little girl’s recital piece accompanies a collage of people enjoying simple pleasures, and in line with the commercial’s “Don’t live life without it” slogan, the violinist is grown up by the song’s end.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Don’t Let Go” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense):  After a man’s family dies in what appears to be a murder, he gets a phone call from one of the dead, his niece. He’s not sure if she’s a ghost or if he’s going mad, but as it turns out, he’s not going mad. (Byron Mann, Storm Reid)
• “Official Secrets” (R-Rated, Drama):  The true story of a British whistleblower who leaked information to the press about an illegal NSA spy operation designed to push the UN Security Council into sanctioning the 2003 invasion of Iraq. (Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Ralph Fiennes)
• “Angel of Mine” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery, Limited):  A woman grieving over the death of her daughter loses grip of reality when she begins to think her girl may still be alive. (Yvonne Strahovski, Luke Evans, Noomi Rapace)
• “Spider in the Web” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery, Limited):  An aging spy is on one last mission to redeem his life and career, but when a mysterious woman appears and the lines of trust with his superiors begin to blur, he realizes the hunter may become the hunted. (Ben Kingsley, Monica Bellucci)

ALEXA, WHERE’S MY KID?
When the use of smartphone location tracking first became a thing, parents of school-age children were quick to make use of the technology to keep an eye on their little ones. But now, many worried moms and dads are making use of it to monitor their college-aged kids. Those in the know say that over the past five years, more and more parents have decided to switch on the trailing services offered on apps such as “Find My Friends”, “Glympse” and “Google Maps” as a way to get an indication of what their high school, college (and beyond) kids are up to. Parents say it comes in handy when their young adult children aren’t answering text messages or are letting their parents calls go to voicemail. Although some kids might take exception to what they feel is a breach of privacy, parents say it’s all a matter of safety and convenience…and a matter of who pays for the phone.
(And for the kids, privacy is only an “off” button away!)
(The problem for kids now is that if they want to do something REALLY fun, they can’t bring their phone with them!)
(And now, just like at home, if college kids ever lose their phone, the first thing they do is ask Mom where it is!)
-NYPost

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man is wanted by Toronto police after he allegedly broke into a property and left behind a photocopy of his face. Police say that on Friday, a man entered a commercial establishment and ate some food items, leaving behind scraps. He then took a photocopy of his face and left it on site before fleeing. (Police have a pretty good description!)
➢ Police in Kennewick, Wash., say a man called them early Sunday morning to report his truck stolen. Here’s the thing, though: The caller was allegedly committing theft himself. Cops checked surveillance video which shows a man putting his bicycle in the truck’s bed and driving off. But what the truck’s owner didn’t plan on was this: The video also shows him allegedly “in the act of stealing items from a business across the street.” He was arrested for burglary. (And one count of irony!)
➢ A wedding guest is being criticized for RSVP’ing to a couple’s wedding.  Why? She indicated to the happy couple that she and her partner would be able to attend the wedding…and, oh, yeah, and they would be bringing along 21 extra people. This despite the fact that the invitation specified that she was permitted one guest. The invitation was returned by post, and the shocked bride-to-be took a photo of their requests and shared it online. (I guess that 21st extra person couldn’t find someone to go with?)
-Toronto Star, Yahoo, Canoe

DID YOU KNOW?
The motto of the city of San Andreas, California is “It’s not our fault”.
-DidYouKnows

BS CHRONOMETER 08.30.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [89] Warren Buffett, Omaha NE, investor/Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway/one of the richest people in the world with a net worth of $82 billion/philanthropist who’s announced he’ll leave 85% of his fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

1948 [71] Lewis Black, Silver Spring MD, standup comedian/TV comedian (“The Daily Show” 1996-present)

1963 [56] Michael Chiklis, Lowell MA, movie actor (“Rise of the Silver Surfer”, “Fantastic Four”)/TV actor (“No Ordinary Family” 2010-11, “The Shield” 2002-08)

1972 [47] Cameron Diaz, San Diego CA, movie actress (“There’s Something About Mary”, “Charlie’s Angels”, “Shrek” movies)

1989 [30] Bebe Rexha, Brooklyn NY, singer (w/ Florida Georgia Line -‘Meant to Be’, w/G-Easy -‘Me, Myself and I’)

SATURDAY- Van Morrison (‘Brown Eyed Girl’) is 74; Richard Gere (“Pretty Woman”) is 70; Deborah Gibson (‘Only in My Dreams’) is 49; Chris Tucker (“Rush Hour”) is 47; Sara Ramirez (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 44

SUNDAY- Lily Tomlin (“Grace and Frankie”) is 80; Barry Gibb (Bee-Gees) is 73; Dr. Phil is 69; Gloria Estefan (Miami Sound Machine) is 62;  Zendaya (“Spider-Man” movies) is 23

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Holistic Pet Day”, initiated by the Animal Miracle Foundation to encourage pet owners to develop a healthy lifestyle for their pets through diet, exercise, and environment.
• “International Day of the Disappeared”, to draw attention to the fate of individuals imprisoned under poor conditions and at places unknown to their relatives and/or legal representatives.
• “Frankenstein Day”, honoring Mary Wollenstone Shelley, the author of “Frankenstein”. Shelley was born on this day in 1797. The novel “Frankenstein” was first published anonymously in 1818.
• “Beach Day”, celebrating everything BEACH…parties, family, friends, great food, photography, beach must-haves and most importantly, encouraging clean-up of beaches worldwide today to help save the lives of sea birds & ocean mammals.
• “Slinky Day”, the Slinky was originally designed and sold in the 1940s. The inventor had accidentally knocked a spring off the shelf, and watched it ‘walk’ down a series of books, to a tabletop, and then to the floor where it neatly coiled itself. (After all that, there really wasn’t much left to invent, was there?)
• “World Testicle Cooking Championship” (aka “Ballscup”), the 16th annual 3-day weekend event in Rudnik, Serbia. Serving up a variety of testicles, including wildlife. Yummy.
• “Toasted Marshmallow Day”, celebrating that great Summer treat on a stick. So how do you like yours done? NET: http://tinyurl.com/96vycjb

BS WHAT YOUR TOASTED MARSHMALLOW SAYS ABOUT YOU:
➠ Perfectly Browned On All Sides – You are an anal-retentive perfectionist, a nit-picker who will devote unreasonable amounts of time to ensure that every project is done ‘just so’.
➠ Blackened – You are a creative and high-strung latent pyromaniac who is seldom punctual, easily distracted, and has difficulty paying attention to detail.
➠ Crusty Outside, Gooey Inside – You are an overly-sensitive individual who detests any form of criticism and has trouble expressing innermost feelings. Rather than facing problems head-on, you waste time brooding about them.
➠ Slightly Tanned On One Side – You are a shy introvert who tends to underestimate the effort and time required to accomplish a task. You have an unreasonable fear of everyday things … fire, for instance.
➠ Raw – You are a lusty and likely overweight thrill-seeker who refuses to even consider the concept of delayed gratification. Rather than plan ahead, you want immediate satisfaction.

SATURDAY-
• “Eat Outside Day”, a great excuse to eat outside one more time before Summer comes to an end and we all get busy with Fall activities.
• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, Well, they DO love litigating… (You know the problem with making lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes).
• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost, etc.) that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.
• “Matchmaker Day”, honoring those romantics (aka busybodies) whose dauntless pursuit of perfect matches for cupid’s arrow results in long-lasting love stories. Playing matchmaker requires a bit of social savvy, the ability to listen, and timing.
• “Bacon Day”, it’s more or less your duty today to break out the frying pan and indulge in the scrumptiousness of a well-salted strip of pork belly. Vegetarians, should they feel left out of the bacon brigade, can get in on the action with fakon, or even bacon-scented lip balm and bar soap (and that’s just a small sampling of all the bacon-related products out there).

SUNDAY-
• “September”. In Latin ‘septem’ means ‘seventh’. That’s because back in the day when the New Year started in March, September was in fact the 7th month.
•“First Day of Spring” in Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, so designated by tradition, not any relation to the Vernal Equinox.
• “No Rhyme Nor Reason Day”, a celebration of words that don’t rhyme with any other words (aka refractory rhymes), i.e.: angel, month, orange, purple, silver.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2014 [05] Kate Bush follows her stage comeback in Britain by becoming the first woman to have 8 albums in the UK charts at the same time (the result of a 22-date concert stand, her 1st shows in 35 years)

2015 [04] At the MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West announces he will run for President in 2020.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [20] Oklahoma State University introduces ‘Super Fan-nies’, disposable diapers adorned with the football team’s logo

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [31] Vicki Keith of Kingston, Ontario becomes 1st swimmer to conquer all 5 of North America’s Great Lakes

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ It’s estimated that the common housefly can have as many as half a billion bacteria on its body.
✓ Cut in half, a hailstone has rings like an onion.
✓ It is estimated that it takes 39,000 gallons of water to produce the average car.
✓ Fewer than 1 percent of all Google searches use the “I’m feeling lucky” button.
✓ One in five British households has a copy of Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album.
✓ Of the 31,534 different words used in Shakespeare’s works, 14,376 were used just once.
-TheBathroomReadersInstitute

BS FAKE VODKA FACTS:
• The founder of Absolut passed out just before he could put an “e” on the first bottle.
• It doesn’t make you do stupid things.
• Vodka was the reason Mary fell and became bloody.
• That glass of clear liquid on your teacher’s desk is definitely water.
• It is made from potatoes, so it is considered juice when doing a cleanse.
• The best vodka is made from couch potatoes.
• Potatoes are vegetables. Therefore, vodka is a salad.
• It’s good for a hangover.
• Jell-O shots are better without it.
• Taylor Swift plus vodka equals Ke$ha
• I’m not having some tonight.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS WAYS TO MAKE SCHOOL MORE APPEALING TO TEENS:

• In biology class, dissect the least popular student.
• Automatic ‘A’ in Spanish if you’ve ever eaten at Taco Bell.
• Every day at 2 pm … school-wide booty call.
• When handing out condoms, throw in a free motel room.
• Give 10 points extra credit for each body piercing.
• New curriculum: Reading, Writing, and Wrecking Stuff.
• Pass a test, win a dirt bike!
-First published in BS in 2013

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Drunk people, children and leggings always tell the truth.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What does your kid absolutely have to have for back-to-school that you never did?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  In a survey of school kids, what was their favorite part of summer?
Answer: Sleeping in

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.

 

 

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