Friday, September 22, 2006        Edition: #3371
100% Canada #1 Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT’s season premiere of “Law & Order” (NBC/CTV) has a familiar-sounding storyline – it’s about ‘Sky Sweet’, a starlet who has a reputation for being careless with her baby, and her aspiring rapper husband, ‘J-Train’ (instead of being ‘ripped from the headlines’, this one’s torn from the tabloids!) . . . SUNDAY on the season premiere of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC/CH), Ty Pennington & the crew help out the single mother of a 13-member family (it’s hankie time again!) . . . SUNDAY “60 Minutes” kicks off its 39th season (CBS), most notable for the continuing contributions of commentator Andy Rooney – at age 86 (“You know what bothers me? These horseless carriages on our streets …”) . . . The savvy folks at 20th Century Fox have created a new division, ‘FoxFaith’, that will produce as many as 12 ‘faith-based’ films a year, half going to theaters, the other half directly to DVD (here’s why – “The Passion of the Christ” … $612 million!) . . . Meantime, FOX media mogul Rupert Murdoch has dispatched his Chinese-born 37-year-old wife, Wendy Deng, back to China to help launch a local version of News Corp’s ‘MySpace’ social networking site (thereby adding another billion ‘personal pages’ to the Web) . . . Actor Will Ferrell’s new production company is developing an HBO comedy called “PE” (“Phys Ed”) about a former MLB star who returns to his small hometown to be a gym teacher (we’re betting on lots of gym-bag jokes and towel-snapping scenes) . . . Reports say Jessica Simpson’s conniving manager-pop Joe Simpson is trying to convince Caesars Palace in Las Vegas to house the first in a chain of Hooters-like BBQ restaurants called ‘Daisy Dukes’, named after Jessica’s “Dukes of Hazzard” character (we’re sure the food will be as good as the movie) . . . And word has it Michael Jackson has taken a liking to Ireland and is looking to possibly buy a castle there as well as open up a ‘leprechaun-inspired’ theme park (Mikey, are we trying to take advantage of the wee folk again?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Steven Tyler has designed a limited-edition Harley-Davidson motorcycle that will be priced at $80,000. Just 10 of the ‘Steven Tyler Signature Series’ bikes will be sold beginning NEXT MONTH at the world’s largest Harley dealer in Ormond Beach FL.
• Brad Paisley – TONIGHT Carrie Underwood joins him for the 26-city final leg of his “Time Well Wasted” tour that kicks off in Birmingham AL. Brad just announced he & wife Kimberly Williams are expecting their 1st child together in FEBRUARY.
• Chingy – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien (NBC); TOMORROW he makes an appearance on “Mad TV” (FOX).
• Clay Aiken – TODAY he’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV), where he’ll no doubt once again try to dodge the ‘gay-or-not?’ question that’s become de rigueur.
• Ludacris – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Madonna – Her just-completed “Confessions” tour is the top-grossing tour by a female artist ever. Estimates are it grossed $193.7 million from 60 shows that drew close to 1.2 million fans.
• Prince – TOMORROW he’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by Steve Martin.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – SATURDAY they’re headlining the US version of the “Virgin Festival” at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore MD. Also on the bill are the Killers, the Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkley, Wolfmother, and geezer rockers The Who.
• Rolling Stones – SATURDAY they play their first-ever concert in Halifax NS at Halifax Common, the large city park where 80,000 gathered for a visit by Pope John Paul II in 1984.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “All the King’s Men” ( PG-13 Drama ): Sean Penn plays a freewheeling 1930s-era Southern politician in this remake of the triple-Oscar-winning 1949 film based on the classic novel by Robert Penn-Warren. Even with a stellar supporting cast that includes Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins and James Gandolfini, critics were lukewarm to its premiere at the “Toronto International Film Festival”. Listen to Sean rant here …
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/allthekingsmen/
• “Fearless” ( PG-13 Action Drama ): Jet Li stars as a young man who overcomes personal and physical setbacks to become the most famous Chinese fighter at the turn of the 20th century. Could be Li’s last martial arts film. Shot in Shanghai, China. Cool theme music here …
NET: http://www.jetlisfearless.com/
• “Feast” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): In an unusual marketing move, this fright-flick is screening only at midnight TONIGHT & Saturday night this weekend before being released to DVD in OCTOBER. Originally produced as part of the “Project Greenlight” competition for indie movies. The story involves patrons in a dusty, remote bar who are trapped and preyed upon by a band of creatures. Sounds like “From Dusk Till Dawn”, doesn’t it? Creepy music & clips here …
NET: http://www.feast-movie.com/
• “Flyboys” ( PG-13 War Adventure ): The story of the ‘Lafayette Escadrille’, a group of American fighter pilots who volunteered for the French military before the US entered WWI. Stars James Franco (“Spider-Man”), French actor Jean Reno (“Mission: Impossible”), and Jennifer Decker as the French hottie the young hero falls for. Made in England.
NET: http://www.mgm.com/flyboys/
• “Jackass: Number 2” ( R-Rated Comedy): Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius and the rest of the ‘Fab 11′ return with all new stunts and gross-outs. Why are we being subjected to this a 2nd time? The original movie cost $5 million and grossed (out) $80 million worldwide. Anyone up to try on a beard made from the cast’s pubic hair? Read more here …
NET: http://www.jackassmovie.com/

iSEE:
MicroOptical is set to market a ‘video eyewear headset‘ that attaches to a video iPod so you can watch movies as if you were seeing them on a 27-inch TV set. The $400 ‘myvu‘ goggles will hit the market late THIS FALL in a package that includes earbuds, a wired remote and battery pack. (Great, now Pod people will not only not hear you speaking to them, they won’t be able to see you either.)
– Broadcast News

GET THE PUCK OUTTA HERE:
Northwest Territories Premier Joe Handley is criticizing the 10-hour CBC-TV documentary series, “Hockey: A People’s History”, for failing to cite Deline NWT as the game’s birthplace. The program makes no mention of an 1825 game recorded by explorer John Franklin on Great Bear Lake. Instead, it credits Montréal as the ‘birthplace of hockey’ in 1875 because that game was well-documented with recorded scores, recognizable rules, people on skates and a goaltender. Part 2 of the series airs SUNDAY night. (Truth is, like football, the game evolved over many years. There really is no ‘start point’.)
– CBC Arts & Entertainment

PERK FOR PORKIES:
Travis County TX officials have decided to offer an unusual employee benefit – free stomach reduction surgery. County bosses are looking at providing up to 15 bariatric surgeries per year, each costing about $20,000. The county thinks it will work out cheaper than current healthcare costs. To qualify, employees have to be morbidly obese and have 1 full year of monitored unsuccessful dieting. (In other words … everyone qualifies!)
– PopBitch.com

PLANE LATE ARRIVING:
The world’s largest passenger plane has once again been delayed. The latest setback to the mammoth 555-seater Airbus A380 ‘super-jumbo’ is a problem with wiring. Singapore Airlines will be the first carrier to put the A380 into passenger service and is due to take delivery of its first craft at the end of this year in time to fly its first commercial flight in JANUARY. (“Those of you in the rear of the plane will be arriving 15 minutes later than 1st class …”)
– Reuters

SOCIAL STUDIES:
• A study on school lunches reveals that just 29% of kids pack their own school lunch, while 40% rely on a parent to do it. (That’s just so they can complain about it after school.)
• A study of prostate cancer has found that men can reduce their risk by taking supplements of the mineral ‘selenium’, but side effects can include baldness and tooth loss. (If your hubby’s a bald, toothless guy, at least you have nothing to lose down the road!)
• A recent behavior study that follows the development of personality traits suggests that overly aggressive babies usually develop into bullies when they grow up. (Or just really bad drivers.)

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In BC, the RCMP had little trouble spotting a convicted auto thief in a Vancouver neighborhood where numerous vehicles have been stolen. Cops set up a stake-out to nab him as he drove away in a stolen car. The distinguishing mark they used to ID him – a large tattoo reading “Grand Theft Auto”. (He’ll be sharing a cell with his brother whose tattoo says “I’m a Molester”.)
• In California, a man on trial hid inside the Marin County Courthouse at the end the day and then attempted to rip off 6 computers by rolling them out in a recycling bin. Unfortunately he was busted, meaning things aren’t likely to go so well when his trial reconvenes on his previous charge – computer theft. (He’s also been charged with ‘Extreme Irony’.)
• In Argentina, a masked man lost his dentures while robbing a home in Corboda so the cops retained them as evidence. Just 2 days later, the victimized homeowner noticed his nephew was missing his teeth. He contacted police, the dentures have been checked out, and the nephew has been arrested. (One case where cops really did take a ‘bite out of crime’!)

TECHNO-JUNK:
A new survey finds that sophisticated gadgets are wasted on many of those who buy them as only about 4% of consumers make use of all the features on their cellphones, MP3 players and other gadgetry. The poll also finds that 58% use no more than half of the hi-tech functions on popular electronics. And while 90% of us say technology plays an important part in our lives, 79% need help in order to use it. (Unless they’re under 15.)
– PA News

BS AMAZING FACTS:
We cover our mouths when we yawn because it was once believed that evil spirits could enter our bodies via our mouths. We say ‘Bless You’ when someone sneezes because it was believed that your soul could escape from your body during a sneeze, and saying that would stuff it back in.

THE BULL SHEET 09.22.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [48] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico, Italy, operatic singer (“The Prayer”)

1958 [48] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”)

1961 [45] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Cars”, “Cheaper by the Dozen 1 & 2”)

1987 [19] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in “Harry Potter” films)

SATURDAY –
Crooner Julio Iglesias (Enrique’s dad) is 63; Rock singer Bruce Springsteen (“Born to Run” released 31 years ago THIS WEEK) is 57; Music producer Jermaine Dupri (Janet Jackson) is 34.

SUNDAY –
Movie actress/screenwriter Nia Vardalos (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”) is 44; Country musician Marty Mitchell (Ricochet) is 37.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more. (Which will soon be most of us!)
• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Same goes for your new puppy.)
• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, to celebrate the world’s most interesting and noble endangered land animal.
• “Good Neighbor Day”, dedicated to developing positive relationships with those next door.
• “Hobbit Day”, commemorating JRR Tolkein and the birthdays of his characters ‘Frodo’ & ‘Bilbo Baggins’. On this date in the year 3001 of the 3rd Age, Shire Reckoning, the 2 characters celebrated their shared birthday. ‘Bilbo’ was 111 and ‘Frodo’ was 33.
• “Last Day of Summer” in the Northern Hemisphere (sniff!).
• “Native American Day”, observed annually on the 4th Friday in September.

SATURDAY –
• “Autumn” officially falls precisely at 12:03 am EDT. Down Under, “Spring” begins in the Southern Hemisphere.
• “European Beard & Moustache Championships” in Amberg, Germany.
• “National Book Festival”, organized and sponsored by the Library of Congress on the National Mall in Washington DC. It’s free!
NET: http://www.loc.gov/bookfest/
• “Rosh Hashanah”, from sunset TONIGHT through nightfall on SUNDAY, commonly known as the ‘Jewish New Year’. A popular tradition is eating apples dipped in honey, a symbol of the wish for a sweet new year.
NET: http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday2.htm

SUNDAY –
• “Hunting & Fishing Day”, the 35th annual observance designed to create better public awareness of the important role that outdoorsmen and women play in conservation and improving our natural resources. (Yeah right, ya Bambi killers.)
• “Ramadan” begins, the annual Islamic fast. Lasting for the entire month, Muslims fast during daylight hours, then in the evening eat small meals and visit with friends and family.
NET: http://www.factmonster.com/spot/ramadan1.html

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1976 [30] 1st episode of “Charlie’s Angels” (ABC) begins frenzy for the ‘Farrah’ hairstyle worn by star Farrah Fawcett

1994 [12] The sitcom “Friends” debuts (NBC) begins frenzy for the ‘Rachel’ hairstyle worn by star Jennifer Aniston

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1954 [52] 1st ‘Pina Colada’ is concocted (rum, coconut cream & unsweetened pineapple juice) by Ramon ‘Monchito’ Marrero, a bartender at the Caribe Hilton Hotel in San Juan who wanted to capture all of the flavors of Puerto Rico in a single drink

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1963 [43] 3 brothers play together in a Major League Baseball game for the same team as Felipe, Matty & Jesus Alou cover the entire outfield for the San Francisco Giants

1990 [16] ‘World’s Fastest Talker’ utters 595 words in 56.01 seconds or 637.4 wpm (Britain’s Steve Woodmore)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] One Hit Wonder Day
[Mon] Comic Book Day
[Tues] Food Service Employees Day
[Wed] Ancestor Appreciation Day
[Wed] World Tourism Day
[Thurs] Ask A Stupid Question Day
This Week Is … Deaf Awareness Week
This Month Is … Backpack Safety Month

BULL’S BITS

WACKIEST BS TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Judge Who Barred Witches from Adopting Children is Turned into Guinea Pig!”
• “Vegan Vampire Attacks Trees!”
• “Bin Laden Gets Own Reality TV Show!”
• “Peeping Tom Sentenced to Stare at Ugly Naked People!”
• “Fatal Farts!”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
How long a minute lasts depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What’s the softest grade of pencil?
a. ‘AA’
b. ‘HB’.
c. ‘6B’ [CORRECT. There are 17 grades of pencil hardness, from ‘6B’ all the way up to the hardest, ‘9H’, which is used by tombstone designers.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the dumbest team name you’ve ever heard? (Teams at Laguna Beach High in California used to be known as the ‘Artists’.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: This worldwide sports tradition began 20 years ago in 1986.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The ‘wave’. (Originally called the ‘Mexican Wave’, it first achieved widespread popularity at the World Cup soccer finals in Mexico City.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The world is grouped into winners and whiners.


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