Monday, September 18, 2006        Edition: #3367
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BITS:
• Anna Nicole Smith has brought an American pathologist to the Bahamas to perform a 2nd autopsy on her late son Daniel over the weekend. According to one report, it was 75-year-old Pittsburgh-based forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht, famous for consulting in the death investigations of JonBenet Ramsey and Elvis Presley. (Well he certainly cracked those cases, didn’t he? One’s still unsolved and the other is still alive!)
– “Tribune-Review”
• Britney Spears & Kevin Federline have reportedly named their new bub ‘Sutton Pierce’. So as well as almost sharing a birthday, the couple’s boys both have the same initials. (In case you’ve forgotten, their first-born trailer-tot is named Sean Preston.)
– “People Magazine”
• The World Health Organization says a BMI (Body Mass Index) below 18.5 is underweight and unhealthy. That means a 5-ft, 9-in fashion model should weigh at least 123 lbs. Stats show the average professional model of that height weighs just 110 lbs, with a BMI of just 16. In Spain, models who score 18 or less have recently been banned from catwalks and the same policy is being considered in Italy. (At only 82 lbs, Nicole Richie has a BMI of … let’s see … -2.)
FACTOID: To calculate your own BMI, divide your weight in pounds by your height in inches squared, and multiply that total by 703.
– “The Sun”
• 20-year-old party-girl/actress Lindsay Lohan was rushed to St Vincent’s Hospital in NYC late FRIDAY after slipping and falling at a “Fashion Week” party and fracturing a wrist. (In case you’re counting, that takes Lindsay’s total number of emergency room visits to 5 … in a year!)
– “The Shallow End”
• GoldenPalace.com, the Canadian online casino that’s become infamous for buying up oddities on eBay in the name of publicity, has now purchased Suri Cruise’s ‘Bronzed Baby Poop’ for $10,000, which will be donated to charity. It’s not the real thing, just a wacky sculpture by artist Daniel Edwards who recently exhibited the fancy feces at a NYC gallery. (Of course, 10-grand for a piece of crap is nothing new in the art world.)
– eNews
• Rumors abound that odd couple Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes will tie the knot in the next 3-to-6 weeks. TomKat’s rep confirms they have always said they will be married by early Autumn and a wedding is still being planned. One hurdle recently cleared is Cruise winning over Katie’s feisty 81-year-old grandmother during a recent visit to Toledo, Ohio. Meantime, a source close to Cruise says there is a move afoot to try and show off the actor in ‘a more normal light’. (Likely because his Q Score popularity has fallen a whopping 45%.)
– “National Enquirer”
• Oprah Winfrey is putting the legal kibosh on a grass-roots campaign to put her in the White House. Her lawyers have ordered Kansas City businessman Patrick Crowe to cease and desist using a Website to promote the idea and to pull his book, “Oprah for President: Run Oprah Run”, off the market. (For the record, Oprah does NOT want to be President … she’s holding out for ‘Empress’.)
– “NY Post”
• And thanks to all the hoopla over the ‘ethnic segregation’ of teams, the premiere of “Survivor: Cook Islands” not only easily won its time slot THURSDAY, it delivered the show’s largest audience since last FEBRUARY. (Next they’ll try human sacrifice.)
– “Reality TV Magazine”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TODAY Oprah Winfrey makes a special guest appearance on the premiere of her pal and former Food Network regular Rachael Ray’s new syndicated TV talk show which is cleverly titled “Rachael Ray”. In a behind-the-scenes deal, Ray’s show will run adjacent to “Oprah” in many markets and will directly compete with it in … none.
• TODAY former “Will & Grace” star Megan Mullally debuts her variety-show-style daytime program, “The Megan Mullally Show” (NBC). Her first guest is comedic actor Will Ferrell.
• TONIGHT is the official launch of the merger of the WB and UPN TV networks, oddly named ‘The CW’. It’s top shows will be leftovers: “Gilmore Girls”, 7th Heaven”, “Smallville”, and “America’s Next Top Model”, debuting WEDNESDAY.
• TONIGHT the 1st-ever $20,000 “Polaris Music Prize” honoring the year’s best Canadian album is awarded at a gala ceremony/concert at Toronto’s Phoenix Theatre. Bet on Broken Social Scene as the likely winner.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elton John – TONIGHT he performs new music on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Justin Timberlake – He’s producing some tracks for the next Duran Duran album. Wait a sec … there’s a ‘next’ Duran Duran album?
• Keith Urban – His upcoming album will be titled “Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy Thing”. Hmm, just what is this newlywed trying to say?
• The Killers – TONIGHT they perform another ‘secret’ limited audience gig, this time in London UK for customers of a telecom company.
• LeToya (Luckett) – TONIGHT the axed former “Destiny’s Child” member is on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Lionel Richie – TODAY he’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• McGraw/Hill – Stats show that Tim McGraw & Faith Hill’s recently completed “Soul2Soul II” tour grossed close to $89 million, making it the top country music tour in history.
• Rolling Stones – In preparation for his now-shooting cameo as Johnny Depp’s dad in the 3rd “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, Keith Richards was asked not to shave. He’s also had beard ‘extensions’ tied on to the real whiskers that he managed to cultivate.
• Usher – He’s working on developing a fragrance to market as well as a clothing line.

HOW TO BED A REAL DOG:
Upmarket Michigan retailer Art Van Furniture has introduced a line of pet beds that start at $249. They come in a finish of your choice and may be purchased with or without a 5-inch-thick foam mattress. Among the styles on sale: a canopy bed, a faux-fur sofa, and a wrought-iron sleigh bed. (Spend a few hundred on one of these and your pooch will likely ignore it in favor of the filthy 5-buck mat at the back door.)
– “Detroit News”

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Highlights of a new study of music tastes and lifestyle by University of Leicester researchers …
• While DJ-based club music buffs are the most likely to have taken recreational drugs, at least some fans of virtually every music genre have dabbled in dope.
• Over 25% of classical music fans have tried cannabis.
• Over 12% of opera lovers have tried magic mushrooms.
• Blues buffs are the most likely to have been convicted of a driving offence.
• Followers of hip-hop and dance music are more likely to have had multiple partners over the past 5 years.
• Fans of stage musicals have the lowest level of drug-taking and criminal convictions.
(Apparently they couldn’t find any country music fans for the study … who were sober enough to participate.) 
– “Psychology of Music”

MUSIC TO SHARE:
The ‘Zune’, Microsoft’s new MP3 player, will allow users to share music and videos with friends before they decide whether to buy the tunes for themselves. The new gadget will have enough memory to hold 7,500 songs as well as an FM tuner. Plans are to release the wireless media player before Christmas, but no pricing has yet been disclosed. (Now that everyone and his great-uncle has some form of iPod, will this device have any appeal?)
– “Wired”

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• A Brazilian soccer referee is facing suspension after she awarded a goal that was scored by … a ball boy.
• A Serbian man has required emergency surgery after taking a witch doctor’s advice and doing the nasty … with a hedgehog.
• Not to be outdone, a Sudanese man has been forced to marry his steady partner after he was caught having relations … with a goat.
• Two mothers of students at a school in Rotherham, England who became fed up with complaints about the low-fat nutritious lunches the school provides are now bringing in 50-to-60 lunches daily after making an increasingly popular … ‘junk food run’.
• A Chinese court has been criticized for deciding prison sentences using … a computer program.
• Thousands of people are flocking to a Malaysian village to see a ‘ghost tree’ which has allegedly sprouted … a human face.

EYEING CONSUMERS:
UK market-research company ID Magasin has discovered what consumers see and do before they make a purchase by outfitting test subjects with special eyewear that records both audio and video. Surprisingly, many shoppers ignore products placed at eye level. The most-often noticed items are displayed lower – between the waist and the chest. And those supposedly eye-catching promotional displays at the ends of aisles? Most shoppers cruise by without even noticing them. (Where do you go when entering a store? Retail studies have found that most customers immediately turn to the right.)
– “Forbes Magazine”

GET YOUR FASH’ ON ONSCREEN:
The ‘most iconic movies’ as far as their influence on popular fashion, according to a new poll of designers and magazine editors for “London Fashion Week” (THIS WEEK) ….
5. “Pulp Fiction” … John Travolta & Uma Thurman’s stylin’ moves in the 1994 Quentin Tarantino film were much mimicked.
4. “Love Story” … The sappy Ryan O’Neal/Ali MacGraw movie about a Harvard Law student/hockey jock and a Radcliffe music nerd story was one of THE influences of the early ‘70s.
3. “The Graduate” … The 1967 film that made Dustin Hoffman a star introduced ‘collegiate chic’, along with the above film.
2. “American Gigolo” … This 1980 Richard Gere film co-starred fashion model-turned-actress Lauren Hutton.
1. “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” … 45 years later, images of Audrey Hepburn’s ‘Holly Golightly’ character are still featured on all kinds of fashion accessories.
– “GQ”

BS AMAZING FACT:
You are 6 times more likely to talk to yourself than laugh when you’re all alone. (Either way … get some help!)

THE BULL SHEET 09.18.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [73] Robert Blake (Michael Gubitosi), Nutley NJ, former TV actor (“Baretta” 1975-78)/movie actor (“In Cold Blood”) who was acquitted in 2005 of the 2001 murder of his wife.
 
1961 [45] James Gandolfini, Westwood NJ, TV actor (3 Emmy Awards as ‘Tony Soprano’ on “The Sopranos” since 1999)/movie actor (“All the King’s Men”, opening FRIDAY)

1971 [35] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Madagascar”, “The Matrix 2 & 3”)/Mrs Will Smith since 1997 (he’s 6’2”, she’s 5′-nuthin’)  IN THE WORKS: Reprises her voice-over role as ‘Gloria’ in the animated comedy “Madagascar 2”, now filming for release in 2008.

1971 [35] Lance Armstrong, Plano TX, only cyclist to win Tour De France 7 times (after battling cancer yet)/dumped fiancée Sheryl Crow in 2005  COMING UP: Now shooting an as-yet-untitled movie based on his autobiography.

1973 [33] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (‘Cyclops’ in “X-Men 1-3”, “Superman Returns”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Corny Collins’ in “Hairspray”, coming in 2007.

1974 [32] Xzibit (Alvin Joiner), Detroit MI, movie actor (“Gridiron Gang”, “xXx: State of the Union”)/TV host (“Pimp My Ride” 2004-05)/rapper (“X”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Cheeseburger Day “, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. According to the book “Hamburger Heaven: The Illustrated History of the Hamburger”, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA 80 years ago in 1926. When he attached cheese to ground beef, he not only made sure Jimmy Buffett would have something to warble about, he got us all hooked on the invention!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1985 [21] 1st ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night with David Letterman” is titled ‘Top 10 Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’. And, for what it’s worth, here it is: 10. Heats 9. Rice 8. Moss 7. Ties 6. Needs 5. Lens 4. Ice 3. Nurse 2. Leaks 1. Meats (maybe it’s in the delivery?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1970 [36] Guitar legend Jimi Hendrix dies in London at age 27 after taking 9 sleeping pills

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1851 [155] 1st edition of “New York Times” costs 2 cents (“All the News That’s Fit to Print”)

1895 [111] 1st ‘Chiropractor’ (Canadian-born David Daniel Palmer in Davenport, Iowa) FACTOID: Some 30 million ‘back adjustments’ are now performed in Canada annually

1955 [51] Kenner Company introduces ‘Play-Doh’

1999 [07] 1st husband and wife to swap genders, each undergoing a sex-change operation in Hungary

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [16] 500-lb, 6-foot ‘Hershey Kiss’ is displayed in NYC’s Times Square

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Wed] International Student Day
[Wed] UN International Day of Peace
[Thurs] Miniature Golf Day
[Fri] Native American Day
[Fri] Hobbit Day
[Fri] Elephant Appreciation Day
[Fri] Centenarians Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Adult Day Care Center Week / Balance Awareness Week / Bottled Water Week / Build A Better Image Week / Chiropractic Week / Clean Hands Week / Courtesy Week / Farm Animals Awareness Week / Farm & Ranch Safety and Health Week / Laundry Workers Week / Osteopathic Medicine Week / Prostate Cancer Awareness Week / Singles Week / Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week / Tolkien Week / US Constitution Week

BULL’S BITS

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit doughnuts are an acceptable breakfast food but not cheesecake … or hot fudge sundaes?
• Whyzit triple-A batteries are smaller than double-A batteries?
• Whyzit atheists don’t go door-to-door trying to convince people to give up religion?
• Whyzit TV car commercials are annoying even on mute?
• Whyzit the amount of sleep needed by the average person is always … 10 minutes more?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What truly unusual thing makes a woman/man attractive to you?

BS WEB GOODIE:
‘Animal astrologer’ Charlene Lictenstein claims that your dog has recently been more likely to bark at odd hours and your cat encouraged to scratch furniture because … former planet Pluto has been retrograde in the sign of Sagittarius. That scary problem is apparently over for now, but you can check your SEPTEMBER ‘PetScope’ here …
NET: http://www.theStarryEye.com/petscope

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A third of college students admit they’ve stolen one of THESE during a night of partying.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A traffic cone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

BS FRESH MEAT:
A salute to new subscriber Ken O’Neil @ Q104 [CKQV] Vermilion Bay ON; and welcome to samplers this week that include Rene Ross @ The Drive [CHDR] Cranbrook BC; Brian Campbell @ K101 [KZMK] Sierra Vista AZ; Matt Dempsey @ The New Heat [CRNC] Welland ON; Emily Szabo @ WILD 101 [CKEY] Niagara Falls ON/Buffalo NY; and Rob MacNamara @ The Hawk [CIGO] Port Hawkesbury NS. You can subscribe or renew your “BS” subscription here … http://thebullsheet.com/location.html


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