Friday, September 8, 2006        Edition: #3361
Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the 7th annual “Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Awards” are handed out in Atlanta GA, with special recognition going to rap pioneers Public Enemy (‘Hip-Hop Founders Award’) & producer Jermaine Dupri (‘Otis Redding Excellence Award’) . . . TONIGHT Elton John’s annual benefit concert “Fashion Rocks” airs (CBS), with performances by Beyoncé, Bon Jovi, Black Eyed Peas, Christina Aguilera, Faith Hill & Tim McGraw, Nelly Furtado, Pussycat Dolls and Kayne West among others . . . SATURDAY & Sunday the inaugural Canadian version of the UK’s “Virgin Festival” invades Toronto Island Park, with more than 40 acts including Gnarls Barkley, the Raconteurs, Alexisonfire, and Sam Roberts (NET: http://www.virginfestival.ca/en/) . . . SUNDAY and Monday the dramatic miniseries “The Path to 9/11″, starring Harvey Keitel as an FBI agent on the trail of terrorists, will air (ABC) despite criticism from all sides that it’s biased and inaccurate (partially filmed in Toronto and that terrorist Mecca – Hamilton ON) . . . Sony has announced that the much-anticipated ”PlayStation 3”which was due in NOVEMBER will now not go sale till MARCH due to a production delay on one of the key components of the console’s Blu-ray laser player (parents can breathe a sigh of relief – no bankruptcy this Christmas!) . . . An egg salad sandwich half-eaten by Britney Spears at an award ceremony has sold for $500 on eBay to online casino and celebrity kitsch collector Golden Palace (this is shocking – there’s a sandwich somewhere that she didn’t finish?) . . . And word has leaked that when Kid Rock & Pam Anderson got married (the first time) in the south of France, they read their vows to each other … off their Blackberries (who said romance was dead?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – THIS MORNING he’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Beyoncé – THIS MORNING she’s a guest on “Good Morning America” (ABC).
• Clay Aiken – The “American Idol 2” runner-up has been appointed to the “President’s Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities” along with 10 others. There’s no word on what the actual duties are.
• Emmylou Harris – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC). 
• Gnarls Barkley – TONIGHT they go “Crazy” on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Good Charlotte – TOMORROW in Hollywood, they’re teaming with Dave Stewart (Eurythmics) to record a tune honoring the 35th anniversary of eco-warriors Greenpeace. The environmental organization was founded in Vancouver in 1971.
• Jay-Z – TOMORROW in Krakow, Poland he kicks off a 7-week tour to spread awareness of the world’s water crisis. It will be chronicled in the MTV documentary “Diary of Jay-Z: Water for Life”.
• Mariah Carey – She’s collaborating with tanning expert Jenny Phillips (who currently sprays on Carey’s ‘tan’ before each show on her tour) to develop an upmarket bronzer that contains … 24-karat gold dust.
• Paul Simon – TOMORROW he performs on a rerun of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC).
• Pussycat Dolls – The CW’s upcoming new reality series “The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll” will visit a number of cities over the coming month to find likely candidates. (For the best results, they should try strip clubs.)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Broken Bridges” ( Limited Release PG-13 Musical Drama ): In his bigscreen debut, country singer Toby Keith plays a fading country music star who returns to his hometown where he reunites with his childhood sweetheart (Kelly Preston) and meets his 16-year-old daughter (Lindsey Haun) for the first time. Burt Reynolds & Willie Nelson co-star. Filmed in Atlanta.
NET: http://www.brokenbridgesmovie.com/
• “The Covenant” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller): A no-name cast is featured in this story of 4 young men with a ‘supernatural legacy’ who must stop the evil force they unleashed on the world years earlier. That would likely prove far easier to do if they’d quit fighting amongst themselves. Filmed in Montréal and Lennoxville QC. Creepy music and trailer here …
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/thecovenant/index.html
• “Hollywoodland” ( R-Rated Bio-Drama ): Ben Affleck is getting Oscar buzz for his portrayal of actor George Reeves, TV’s ill-fated “Superman” (1952-58) who seemingly ended his own life. Hugh Jackman must be kicking himself – he originally had the role but bowed out due to other commitments. Adrien Brody & Diane Lane co-star. Partially shot in Toronto, Oakville and Oshawa ON. Theme music and sound clips here …
NET: http://www.hollywoodlandmovie.com/
• “The Protector” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Tony Jaa (“Ong-bak”) stars as a Muy Thai fighter who travels to Australia to battle the gangsters who stole a bull and a baby elephant from a festival in Thailand. The film’s Thai title, “Tom Yum Goong”, refers to a popular local dish of shrimp in hot-sour soup. Shot on location in Australia and Thailand. Here’s the trailer …
NET: http://www.theprotectormovie.com/

JUST DO IT … FOR LESS:
NBA stars Kobe Bryant, Lebron James & Michael Jordan have all put their name on $150 Nike shoes, but NY Knick Stephon Marbury has made it his mission to bring out a line of shoes for the disadvantaged. The cost of the new ‘Starbury’ shoe? Just $15! And they’re no cheapo knock-offs – Marbury wears them on the court himself. (Even at 15 bucks, they’re still likely marked up 100% or more.)
NET: http://www.starbury.com/
– PopBitch.com

HORSE-HEAD MUSEUM:
Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman wants to convert the city’s old federal courthouse into … a mob museum. Goodman claims the mob founded Vegas and the city should therefore give it some props for that. Goodman, by the way, represented many alleged mobsters during his previous career as a defense lawyer. (In preparation for exhibits, they’re now digging up body parts in the desert.)
– “Chicago Tribune”

WHEN DO WE WORK HARDEST?
According to an Accountemps survey of 150 executives, these are the days on which employees are most productive …
Tuesday … 51%
Monday … 17%
Wednesday … 15%
Don’t Know … 11%
Thursday … 5%
Friday … 1%
Seems not much is getting done around here today!
– UPI

CHAMBER OF YOUTH:
A private clinic in Poland has developed a cryogenic chamber that’s said to refurbish and invigorate the body, taking years of its appearance. It does that by subjecting users to a temperature of minus 37 degrees for 3 minutes, the limit before the body is put into suspended animation. It’s said that the cold shock causes circulation, respiration and vital organs to kick into survival overdrive and produce amazingly youthful results. No parkas allowed here – only the nose, mouth, hands, feet and private parts are covered. (If you don’t wanna spend money to get the effect, just spend January in Edmonton.)
– ANI Science

BS AMAZING FACT:
One of the tenets of Scientology is that homosexuality can be cured by the love of a good woman.

AND WE QUOTE:
“It was probably the result of an empty stomach and working all day and being fatigued.”
– Paris Hilton’s PR flak Elliot Mintz, explaining how his client could possibly blow more than .08% in a DUI test while driving home from a charity event after spending all day shooting a music video. (And to top it all off, the arrest made her late for her weekly Sunday School teachers’ meeting!)

THE BULL SHEET 09.08.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1971 [35] David Arquette, Winchester VA, movie actor (“Scream 1-3”)/Mr Courteney Cox since 1999/brother of actresses Patricia & Rosanna Arquette

1975 [31] Larenz Tate, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Ray”, “Crash”)

1979 [27] Pink (Alecia Moore), Doylestown PA, pop singer (“Stupid Girls”, “Get The Party Started”)

SATURDAY –
Musician/producer Dave Stewart (Eurythmics) is 54; Movie actor Hugh Grant (“Bridget Jones”) is 46; Movie actor/producer Adam Sandler (“Click”) is 40; Model/actress Rachel Hunter (“The Benchwarmers”) is 37; Canadian pop/jazz singer Michael Buble (“Home”) is 31; Movie actress Michelle Williams (“Brokeback Mountain”) is 26.

SUNDAY –
Rock guitarist Joe Perry (Aerosmith) is 56; Movie actor Colin Firth (“Nanny McPhee”) is 46; Movie director Guy Ritchie (Mr Madonna) is 38; Movie actor Ryan Phillippe (“Crash”) is 32.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Air Guitar World Championships”, the 11th annual in the northern Finnish town of Oulu, the ‘Mecca of airheads’. Contestants are judged on stage charisma, originality, artistry and ‘airiness’. Competitors play their imaginary guitars to one compulsory tune and one track of their choice. Grand prize is a real electric guitar. (2nd prize is a used tennis racquet.)
NET: http://www.airguitarworldchampionships.com/EN/home.html
• “Canadian Country Music Week” through Monday in Saint John NB, culminating in the annual “Canadian Country Music Awards”.
NET: http://www.ccma.org
• “International Literacy Day”, established by the United Nations to promote reading & writing programs worldwide. (For more information, read their leaflet.)
• “National Truck Driving Championships” through Saturday in Québec City QC. (Competitions will NOT include ‘Loudest Air Horn’, ‘Closest Tailgate’, or ‘Longest Wallet Chain’.)
• “Nose Hair Maintenance Day”, your annual opportunity to take proper care of nose hair by trimming … or styling … or brushing or some such thing.
• “World Champion Frog Jumping Contest” through Sunday in Rayne LA at the 34th annual “Frog Festival”. The long-standing record is just under 21-and-a-half feet by ‘Rosie the Ribiter’ in 1986.
NET: http://www.rayne.org/frog_fest.html

SATURDAY –
• “Bald Is Beautiful Convention”, the 33rd annual get-together of ‘chrome-domes’ in Morehead City SC, where they have “More-head & less hair!” Their motto is, “If you don’t have it, flaunt it!”
NET: http://members.aol.com/BaldUSA
• “Expectant Father’s Day”, a day for neglected first-time dads to get some much needed recognition.
• “Federal Lands Cleanup Day”, an annual event by presidential proclamation on the first Saturday after Labor Day.
• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal that was inspired by the helpless cub US President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ in the USA shortly after that incident, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.
NET: http://www.teddy-bear-uk.com/learning/name.htm

SUNDAY –
• “Grandparents’ Day”, originated in 1978 to honor those kindly folks who get to spoil our kids rotten without paying any consequences.
• “Pet Memorial Day”, established by the International Association of Pet Cemeteries as an annual observance on the 2nd Sunday of September to bring closure to the departure of beloved pets by fondly remembering them. (Doncha miss ol’ Tiger’s toots?)
• “Swap Ideas Day”, set aside to encourage creative thinking and new solutions to old problems. (So other people can take all the credit.)
• “World Suicide Prevention Day”, the 4th annual declared by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. The idea is to raise awareness of one of our biggest killers.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ohgyy

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1966 [40] “Star Trek” premieres on NBC-TV (cancelled in April, 1969 after just 79 episodes) FACTOID: It spawns perhaps the most successful TV/movie franchise in history with 4 spin-off TV shows (“The Next Generation”, “ Deep Space 9″, “Voyager”, “Enterprise”), an animated series, and 9 motion pictures (soon to be 10).

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1921 [85] 15-year-old Margaret Gorman from Washington DC (30-25-32) is crowned 1st ‘Miss America’ in 1st-ever bathing beauty contest (2-day pageant)

1977 [29] Toronto’s Cindy Nicholas becomes 1st to swim English Channel non-stop … both ways!

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1965 [41] Kansas City Athletics’ Bert Campaneris plays all 9 positions in a single Major League Baseball game

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Mon] I Want to Start My Own Business Day
[Mon] No News is Good News Day
[Mon] Boss-Employee Exchange Day
[Mon] “ESPN Monday Night Football” debuts
[Tues] Video Game Day
This Week Is … Financial Services Week
This Month Is … Be Kind To Editors & Writers Month

BULL’S BITS

ANIMAL TRUTH OR BS?
• There are more chickens in the world than people. (True!)
• A cat has 3 muscles in each ear. (BS. Actually there are 32 … all of them used to ignore its owner.)
• Goats eat tin cans. (BS. They merely nibble at them for the tasty glue on the labels.)
• In Sweden, it’s against the law to train a seal to balance a ball on its nose. (True!)
• Cats can’t taste sweet things. (True!)
• The blue whale’s navel is the same size as ours. (BS. It’s about 8 inches in diameter.)
• When they leave home, about one-third of pet owners turn on a radio or TV to keep their pets company. (True!)

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Ne-Yo – “SexyLove”
4. Gnarls Barkley – “Crazy”
3. Justin Timberlake – “SexyBack”
2. Nelly Furtado – “Promiscuous”
1. Young Dro – “Shoulder Lean”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Using the click-on soundboards at “eBaum’s World”, you can put together fake celeb interviews and prank calls that sound like the real deal. Among the notable voices available: Samuel L Jackson, Jack Nicholson, Homer Simpson & Tom Cruise. It’s a heckuva resource … and free!
NET: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/soundboards.shtml

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you think about it, bureaucracy is just a method of turning energy into solid waste.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Each year, emergency rooms are visited by over 20,000 people who have suffered an accident while doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bowling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Silence cannot be misquoted.


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