Thursday, September 7, 2006        Edition: #3360
New & Improved BS – Now With Added Brighteners!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY a new line of toys based on 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky” movies is being unveiled in Philadelphia PA as part of that city’s ‘Rocky Week’ (“Rocky Balboa”, the 6th film in the series, is coming DECEMBER 22nd) . . . TONIGHT the Disney Co is spending an estimated $1 million to stage a star-studded premiere for the new Kevin Costner/Ashton Kutcher Coast Guard adventure, “The Guardian”, in Washington DC (the film opens wide SEPTEMBER 29th) . . . TONIGHT the annual “Fashion Rocks” concert will be taped at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, featuring Elton John, Christina Aguilera, Beyoncé, Bon Jovi, Black Eyed Peas, Jamie Foxx, Nelly Furtado, Tim McGraw & Faith Hill, Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna & Kayne West (the benefit for the Elton John AIDS Foundation airs FRIDAY on CBS-TV) . . . “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” should reach the $1 billion mark in worldwide box office by THIS WEEKEND (it now stands at $993.7 million – #3 all-time) . . . Previous reports that Sean Combs & his girlfriend Kim Porter were expecting a baby were wrong – they’re expecting twins (cool – ‘Diddy Kiddies’!) . . . Yet another “Lost” (ABC) cast member has been charged with a driving offence in Hawaii – Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (‘Mr Eko’) is accused of disobeying a police officer and driving without a license (unlike his castmates – at least he wasn’t drunk) . . . And a new USC study of some 200 celebrities proves what we already knew – celebs are far more in love with themselves than average folk; female stars are even hotter on themselves than males; and reality TV stars are the most narcissistic of all (explaining how someone like Omorosa comes to be).
 
BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Ashlee Simpson – She’s recently dumped her guitarist boyfriend Braxton Olita and has been spending time with Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz.
• Black Eyed Peas – After researching her family tree, Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) has discovered she comes from a long line of Irish criminals … sheep rustlers to be precise.
• The New Cars – Their reunion tour has hit another snag after a tour bus crash caused shows to be postponed since JUNE. Now, just as they’re ready to hit the road again with Blondie, bass player Kasim Sulton has quit to join Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out Of Hell 3” tour instead.
• Faith Hill/Tim McGraw – TODAY they guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated).
• Gwen Stefani – She’s launching a line of fashion dolls with outfits based on the clothes she and the Harajuku Girls wore during her recent world tour.
• India.Arie – TONIGHT she does “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Jessica Simpson – TONIGHT she’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Nirvana – Another Kurt Cobain action figure is coming out in DECEMBER, this one modeled after his appearance at the legendary “MTV Unplugged” show in 1993.
• Pink – She’s remade Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You” into an opening theme for “Sunday Night Football” (NBC). A special version of what’s titled “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” airs TONIGHT before the Miami Dolphins/Pittsburgh Steelers game.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT his movie acting debut, “Broken Bridges”, premieres in Nashville TN, As well as playing a down-on-his-luck country singer who returns to his hometown to discover a daughter he never met, he’s contributed 7 tunes to the soundtrack.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
• “The Dark Knight” – Reports say Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn was the first choice to play ‘Batman’ foe, ‘The Joker’, in the upcoming sequel to “Batman Begins” but he turned it down and Heath Ledger was next in line. One reason Penn may have nixed the idea is that he’s a good friend of Jack Nicholson who famously played ‘The Joker’ in the 1989 “Batman” movie.
• “Hairspray” – Former “West Wing” star Allison Janney (‘CJ Cregg’) has signed on for the bigscreen version of the hit Broadway musical. She’ll play ‘Prudy Pingleton’, the overbearing mother of ‘Penny’, played by Amanda Bynes. Other previously announced cast members include John Travolta (‘Edna Turnblad’), Queen Latifah (‘Motormouth Maybelle’), and Michelle Pfeiffer (‘Velma Von Tussle’). The film’s due on screens next JULY.
• “Infamous” – In this new bio-drama, Daniel Craig (the new ‘James Bond’) locks lips … with a guy. Craig plays convicted killer Perry Smith who bonds with gay author Truman Capote while in prison. Brit actor Toby Jones, who plays Capote, says he never dreamed he’d ever kiss ‘007’ and describes the experience as ‘slightly abrasive but ultimately rewarding’. The film screens SEPTEMBER 14th at the “Toronto International Film Festival”, then opens in theaters in OCTOBER. Might this affect public perception of Craig’s ‘Bond’ debut in “Casino Royale”?
• “A Little Game Without Consequence” – Jim Carrey & Cameron Diaz will co-star for the first time since “The Mask” (1994) in this romantic comedy, playing a seemingly perfect couple who pretend to break up shortly after their 5th anniversary, only to discover most of their friends and family didn’t really like them as a couple in the first place. Filming begins in NYC on OCTOBER 23rd, so expect a release date sometime in 2007.

IS SHE READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
A record 45 million women are expected to watch TONIGHT’s NFL season debut. NFL stats show that the percentage of female fans has increased by 8.6% over 5 years. An ESPN poll has found that fully 43% of fans are now women. Women have also begun participating in fantasy football leagues and wearing NFL apparel, causing the NFL to design new feminine products such as thongs adorned with team logos. (Why do women watch? To see tight tushes in cute little outfits.)
– “New York Post”

JOB JARGON:
Language expert Tony Thorne has just published an international compilation of office slang called “Shoot the Puppy”. Among the jargon he has found tossed about in the workplace …
• ‘The Bleeding Edge’ – Even edgier than the ‘cutting edge’.
• ‘Infobia’ – The fear of not having enough information.
• ‘Kicking Dead Whales Down the Beach’ – Performing an unpleasant but essential task.
• ‘Knife-and-Fork It’ – To deal with a problem bit-by-bit instead of as a whole.
• ‘Polyattentiveness’ – Paying attention to everything.
• ‘TIIC’ – Stands for ‘The Idiots in Charge’.
• ‘Vanillacide’ – The way radical concepts are destroyed by too much consultation.
• ‘Shoot the Puppy’ – The book’s title is slang for ‘dare to do the unthinkable’.
– “Social Studies”

GETTING TAGGED AT COLLEGE:
British university students are being monitored by a unique electronic tagging system, designed to ensure that they attend lectures. About 1,000 undergraduates at the University of Glamorgan have been issued key rings containing microchips that store each individual’s name and enrolment data. Each time the student attends a lecture, the key ring is pressed against a hand-held baton carried by the lecturer, which acts an electronic receiver. The technology, called ‘Uni-Nanny’, was developed to eliminate time-consuming roll-calls. (“Hey Gavin ya little nerd, I’ll give you 5 bucks to carry my ‘nanny’ in ….”)
– “The Telegraph”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 33% of men would go to a doctor if they were having chest pains.
• 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
• 27% of people skip ahead to find out what will happen in a book before they finish it.
• 20% of us have almost crashed our car because we were … picking our nose.
• 13% of women admit they have said the words ‘I love you’ to get a guy into the sack.
• 3% of women claim they never cry … ever.

IT’S ALL ABOUT TIMING:
An Office Angels survey of some 1,500 bosses has found that the way they respond to employee requests often depends on the day of the week. For instance …
• Monday afternoon is the best time to put in a vacation request.
• Tuesday afternoon is the best time to show off to the boss, or to break bad news.
• Wednesday is the best day to ask for a pay raise.
• Thursday is when the boss is most likely to be open to new ideas.
• Friday is when the boss is most likely to be relaxed and therefore inclined to allow you to leave work early.
– “The Scotsman”

ENERGIZE YOUR WORK SPACE WITH FENG SHUI:
A few decorating tips from Marie Elena Rigo, an LA-based interior designer and feng shui consultant, to help make your workspace an inviting place to be …
• Brighten up – Turn off overhead florescent lighting and rely on desk and/or floor lamps. Tube lights can cause headaches, eyestrain, and fatigue because most use ballasts that turn them on-and-off 120 times per second, producing a subtle flicker and hum.
• Organize – Get rid of clutter and keep surface areas clear. Clutter drains energy because the eye and mind don’t know where to focus and begin to wander.
• Rearrange – Place your desk where you’ll have a view of the doorway, so you’ll always know who’s entering the room. That should relax your nervous system.
• Revitalize – Bring living energy into your space by placing a tree, a plant, fresh flowers, or even a bowl of fruit in a prominent spot. Certain plants – such as peace lilies – actually clean the air.
– “Redbook”

THE BULL SHEET 09.07.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [61] Jacques Lemaire, LaSalle QC, NHL head coach (Minnesota Wild since 2000, 1995 Stanley Cup champion New Jersey Devils)/Hall of Fame NHL player (Montréal Canadiens)

1949 [57] Gloria Gaynor, Newark NJ, oldies singer (“I Will Survive”)

1951 [55] Chrissie Hynde, Akron OH, oldies singer (The Pretenders-“Brass In Pocket”)/PETA advocate

1951 [55] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV actress (voice of ‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1954 [52] Benmont Tench, Gainesville FL, classic rock musician (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers-“Free Fallin’”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2002)

1961 [45] Leroi Moore, Durham NC, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“American Baby”, “Crash Into Me”)

1973 [33] Shannon Elizabeth, Houston TX, movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation”, “American Pie”)

1978 [28] Devon Sawa, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Extreme Ops”, “Final Destination”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Emergency Preparedness Week”, a time to prepare for specific emergency situations at home, work, school, or when traveling.
NET: http://www.ready.gov

• “Neither Rain Nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”.

• “NFL Opening Kickoff 2006″ (NBC) boots up the league’s 87th season with a 2-city pre-game special. The 30-minute show features performances by Rascal Flatts in Pittsburgh (home of the “Super Bowl XL” champs); then Diddy and Cassie in Miami Beach FL (site of “Super Bowl XLI”). Martina McBride sings the anthem before the season’s opening game with Miami Dolphins @ Pittsburgh Steelers.

• “Take Another Look Day”, a day to survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity or reuse them in another project. In other words, dump some of your ‘stuff’!

• “Toronto International Film Festival”, the 31st annual through September 16th featuring some 352 feature films from around-the-world. A few highlights …
– TONIGHT the festival opens with the world premiere of Zacharias Kunuk & Norman Cohn’s latest film, “The Journals of Knud Rasmussen”.
– Other films making their world and/or North American premieres include the drama “Babel”, starring Brad Pitt; “All the King’s Men”, starring Sean Penn and based on the Robert Penn Warren novel; Ridley Scott’s “A Good Year”, a romance starring Russell Crowe & Albert Finney; “Infamous”, another film about Truman Capote, starring Toby Jones, Sandra Bullock & Gwyneth Paltrow; and “Bernard & Doris”, starring Susan Sarandon as aging tobacco heiress Doris Duke & Ralph Fiennes as the gay butler to whom she leaves her billion-dollar fortune.
– There’s also a program of 38 short films.
NET: http://www.e.bell.ca/filmfest/2006/home/default.asp

• “World Pizza Day”, the first-ever declared by the city of Naples, Italy to coincide with its 11th annual “Pizzafest”. Pizza-lovers from all over the world are expected to attend and help decide the best Neopolitan pizza-maker. Pizza is said to be the city’s most famous export.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/raahr

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [27] ESPN debuts on cable TV (filling the need for more Australian Rules Football)

1986 [20] TV’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (the beginnings of a billionaire)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [10] Rapper Tupac Shakur is shot on the Las Vegas Strip (dies 6 days later)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1888 [118] 1st baby placed in an ‘Incubator’, originally called a ‘Hatching Cradle’

1915 [91] 1st ‘Raggedy Ann’ doll (modeled after [co-host’s] body)

1984 [22] 1st ‘Platinum’ credit cards issued by American Express (because by then everybody has a ‘Gold’ card)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] International Literacy Day
[Fri] 7th Billboard R&B-Hip Hop Awards (Atlanta GA)
[Sat-Sun] Virgin Festival (Toronto Islands Park)
[Sun] Grandparents Day
[Sun] Pet Memorial Day
[Mon] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Mon] ESPN Monday Night Football debuts
[Mon] Canadian Country Music Awards (St John NB)
This Week Is … Housekeepers Week
This Month is … Food Allergy Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

ACTUAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Credit Card Explodes When Gal Goes Over Limit!”
• “Astronomer Discovers Planet Made Entirely of Noodles!”
• “How Many Encounters Does It Take to Make a Man Gay?”
• “World’s Fattest Man Is Missing!”
• “Microscopic Space Aliens Infesting Carpets!”
• “Studio Buys Movie Script From a Chimp!”
(You’ve obviously been ignoring this week’s REAL news!)

ACTUAL BS REASONS MLB BALL PLAYERS HAVE GONE ON THE DISABLED LIST:
• ‘Dislocated shoulder while ripping phone book in half.’
• ‘Injured shoulder knocking over milk bottles on “The Tonight Show”.’
• ‘Strained muscle while vomiting.’
• ‘Frostbite … in August.’
• ‘Tattoo infection.’
• ‘Chili juice in the eye.’
• ‘Smashed thumb in door of Mercedes … on the way to the bank.’

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Should the “Crocodile Hunter’s” ‘death tape’ be destroyed or should we be allowed to view it?
• Which fairytale character would you want to be?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More women than men will do THIS while walking down the street.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pick money up off the sidewalk.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Circumstances may have influenced who we are but we are responsible for who we become.


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