Thursday, September 22, 2005        Edition: #3121
100% Canada #1 Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT is the  season premiere of “The Apprentice 4″, which Donald Trump modestly calls ‘the best show we’ve ever done’ (among the aspiring entrepreneurs – an inventor, a Rhodes scholar & a former NFL player) . . . TONIGHT Brit singer Lemar is up for 5 of the UK’s “Mobo Awards” and will battle against Joss Stone & Estelle for ‘British Act of the Year’ (‘Mobo’ stands for ‘Music of Black Origin’) . . . Model-turned-actress Rebecca Romijn (“X-Men”) is engaged to TV actor Jerry O’Connell (“Crossing Jordan”) after dating an entire year (hey, her divorce from John Stamos was only 7 months ago!) . . . Oops! A week after Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, pre-taped TV game show “The Price Is Right” accidentally aired an episode offering a grand prize of – a trip to New Orleans . . . Word up Tom Cruise plans to lay out $15 million to buy an estate in Montecito CA, just 2 doors down from Oprah Winfrey’s $50-million compound (one snitch claims Cruise is convinced he can convert her to Scientology) . . . 19-year-old “OC” star Mischa Barton has thrown a lavish 27th birthday bash for new boyfriend Cisco Adler, lead singer of the little-heard-of rock band Whitestarr (little-heard-of … until now) . . . Oft-rehabbed actor Tom Sizemore is shopping a reality show proposal called “Super Sizemore”, which would follow his numerous court dates and his battle to become clean & sober (this show’s been on for years – “Cops”!) . . . There’s buzz that a spinoff to “Everybody Loves Raymond” is in the works, which will see ‘Raymond’s dopey brother ‘Robert’ (Brad Garrett) move away from the family and starts his own life (hey, he’s the one with 3 Emmy Awards) . . . And Kate Middleton, girlfriend of Britain’s hunky Prince William, has reportedly attended several private dinner parties with Queen Elizabeth II, insiders saying she’s being prepped for a life in the Royal Family’s inner circle known as ‘The Firm’ (in that case, shouldn’t she be sneaking out to the stables for a quick ride?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Arcade Fire – They top the list of nominees for the 2nd-annual “mtvU Woodie Awards”, which honor artists favored by college audiences. The event will be held NOVEMBER 2nd at NYC’s Roseland Ballroom.
• Bon Jovi – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• 50 Cent – Consumers who order his “50 Cent Bulletproof” video game (due in NOVEMBER) get an exclusive live DVD taped SEPTEMBER 14th in Germany as a pre-sell bonus.
• Green Day – They’ll release a live DVD NOVEMBER 15th called “Bullet in a Bible”, recorded during the band’s JUNE performances at the UK’s Milton Keynes National Bowl.
• Madonna – Because of her horseback-riding injuries she can’t work, but she says that’s provided a nice opportunity to spend extra time with hubby Guy Richie.
• Pink – Her upcoming wedding to motocross star Carey Hart (“The Surreal Life”) promises to be a huge affair. No date has been set but it will take place in her hometown of Philadelphia and she says she’ll go traditional, including a big after-party.
• Sara Evans – Restaurant chain Cracker Barrel will release a compilation of her songs in FEBRUARY, including previously unreleased versions of “Born to Fly” and “No Place That Far”.
• Sheryl Crow – TONIGHT she does “Late Show With David Letterman”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Director Oliver Stone is rumored to be bringing the story of the 9/11 attacks to the bigscreen, told from the perspective of a pair of NYC Port Authority police officers, one of which is expected to be played by Nicolas Cage . . . “Shrek 3″ is set with most of its original acting voices (Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas) and one more for good measure – Regis Philbin has been added to the cast to voice the role of ‘Mabel’ (due in 2007) . . . Ben Stiller & Chris Rock will return to provide voices for “Madagascar 2″, a sequel to the animated film that has earned more than $500 million worldwide, making it DreamWorks’ most successful original film (we won’t see this one till 2008) . . . Hollywood insiders are buzzing about Leonardo DiCaprio’s latest obsession: He badly wants to star in & produce a movie about the life of late Formula One auto-racing legend Gilles Villeneuve, who died in 1982 after a fiery crash . . . “40-Year-Old Virgin” star Steve Carell has signed up to star in “Dan in Real Life”, a Disney rom-com about a widower with 3 daughters who writes a parenting column for a local newspaper . . . And you’d think J-Lo would have learned about making movies with her man (does the name “Gigli” ring a bell?), but she’s planning to work with hubby #3, Marc Anthony, playing his – well, wife – in “Who Killed Hector Lavoe” (she bought the film rights so he could get an acting job).

BLACKTOP BLACK BOX:
Israeli company DriveDiagnostics has developed a new black-box device called the ‘SafetyCenter’ which sits on the dashboard of a car and tracks every screeching halt, sharp turn, and sudden lane change. The gizmo analyzes the data to identify 120 different vehicle maneuvers and determine what a driver is doing wrong. The info is transmitted via wireless modem to DriveDiagnostics HQ, where it’s used to create driver profiles and offer guidelines for improvement. Who’d pay for this service? So far, clients include FedEx Israel and UK corporate-vehicle supplier Velo Corp. Not only does the system create better drivers, it can help  reduce fuel costs by up to 15%.
– “Business 2.0 Magazine”

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK WAITS FOR NO ONE:
An increasing number of women in Western countries are putting off getting pregnant till past their mid-30s, many for career reasons. But medical researchers warn that women over 35 face a greater chance of suffering age-related problems such as infertility, miscarriage or other complications. And once women pass 40, these risks increase dramatically. Researchers say today’s women want to ‘have it all’, but biology remains unchanged.
– “British Medical Journal”

DID YOU KNOW:
• The brain of a hummingbird is about the size of a pea but the little creature is not dense. The neural pathways of the hummingbird’s tiny noggin allow it to learn and perform incredibly complex and high-pitched songs, which are passed from parent to offspring. Even though it’s small, the hummingbird has a larger brain relative to its body weight than any other creature.
– “Mental Floss Magazine”
• The air expelled by sneezes travels at up to 100 mph. Holding in a sneeze could cause fractures in the nasal cartilage, nosebleeds, burst eardrums, hearing loss, vertigo or detached retinas. Therefore … it’s best to let ‘em fly!
– “Social Studies”

WEIRDOS ARE MORE CREATIVE:
People known for their oddball behavior may be wired differently than the average person and may be able to use their brains more creatively. A new Vanderbilt University study shows that people with what’s called ‘schizotypal personalities’, who behave oddly but are not schizophrenic or mentally ill, rely more heavily on the right side of their brains to access their creativity than the general population.
– WebMD Health

THE ORGASMATRON IS REAL!
A scientist who accidentally invented a machine which can give women an orgasm at the touch of a button is shocked that he’s unable to find enough volunteers to test the device for FDA approval. Dr Stuart Meloy thought he was creating a cure for a patient’s back pain by stimulating the base of the spine with a small electrical current. Surprisingly, the current gave his patient repeated orgasms, so he switched the focus of his experiments and now believes he has perfected the ‘orgasm machine’. He simply needs FDA approval to market the device.
– BBC World News

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 95% of top CEO’s have clean-shaven faces.
• 88% of single guys do not have an extra light bulb in their home.
• 64% of us have received too much change from a cashier and not said anything about it.
• 57% of female college students say they’d cheat on their boyfriends to be with that little home-wrecker Angelina Jolie.
• 41% of women 35 or over say that finding jeans that fit can be ‘quite stressful’.
• 40% of people who come to a party at your house snoop in your medicine cabinet.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A “National Geographic” article entitled “Gone With the Water” accurately foretold the flood that devastated New Orleans … in October, 2004.
• An estimated 84 million Americans are singles with no ‘significant other’.

THE BULL SHEET 09.22.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [47] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico, Italy, operatic singer (“The Prayer”)

1960 [45] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”)

1964 [41] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Cheaper by the Dozen”)/TV actress (“Life With Bonnie” 2002-04)  COMING UP: “Cheaper by the Dozen 2″, opening DECEMBER 21.

1987 [18] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in the “Harry Potter” films)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Clunk! TODAY “Autumn” officially falls precisely at 6:23 pm EDT. Down under, “Spring” begins in the Southern Hemisphere.

TODAY is “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more. According to StatsCan, there has been a 21% increase in the number of centenarians in Canada over the past decade. The majority are women. (In related news, this station is changing to a new format – Ragtime.)
The number of centenarians in America has doubled over the past decade to about 50,000. That makes centenarians the most rapidly growing age group within the fastest-growing segment of the US population – those 85 and over. (In related news, this station is changing to a new format – Ragtime.)

TODAY is “Good Neighbor Day”, dedicated to developing positive relationships with those next door.
BS SIGNS YOUR NEIGHBOR HATES YOU:
• Keeps spray painting no parking symbols on your driveway.
• Just bought a 350 horsepower leaf blower
• You hear the unmistakable sound of a shotgun cocking each time you open the front door.
• Marks property line with a pile of human skulls.
• Lets dog take a dump in your front garden … then encourages wife and kids to do same.
• Housewarming gift consists of deodorant and garbage bags.
• Keeps turning you in to Crimewatch.

TODAY is “Hobbit Day”, commemorating JRR Tolkein and the birthdays of his characters ‘Frodo’ & ‘Bilbo Baggins’. On this date in the year 3001 of the 3rd Age, Shire Reckoning, the 2 characters celebrated their shared birthday. ‘Bilbo’ was 111 & ‘Frodo’ was 33.

TODAY is also …
• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Same goes for your new puppy.)
• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, to celebrate the world’s most interesting and noble endangered land animal.
• “Proposal Day”, a day on which single people are encouraged to propose marriage. (Apparently someone’s attempt to share the pain.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1994 [11] The sitcom “Friends” debuts on NBC-TV, beginning a frenzy for the ‘Rachel’ hairstyle

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1954 [51] 1st ‘Pina Colada’ is concocted (rum, coconut cream & unsweetened pineapple juice) by Ramon ‘Monchito’ Marrero, a bartender at the Caribe Hilton Hotel in San Juan who wanted to capture all of the flavors of Puerto Rico in a single drink

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1963 [42] 3 brothers play together in a Major League Baseball game for the same team as Felipe, Matty & Jesus Alou cover the entire outfield for the San Francisco Giants

1990 [15] ‘World’s Fastest Talker’ utters 595 words in 56.01 seconds or 637.4 wpm (Britain’s Steve Woodmore)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] “FlightPlan”, “Corpse Bride” & “Roll Bounce” open in movie theaters
[Fri-Oct 9] 43rd New York Film Festival
[Fri] Native American Day
[Sat] 2005 National Book Festival [Washington DC]
[Sat] Operation Ceasefire Concert [Washington DC]
[Sat] Hunting & Fishing Day
[Sun] One Hit Wonder Day
[Sun] Comic Book Day
[Mon] Food Service Employees Day
This Week Is . . . Deaf Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Backpack Safety Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WORST BS THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND’S PARENTS:

• My parole officer thinks your daughter has a calming effect on me.
• Which one of you taught your daughter to give such great tongue?
• Can you believe it? Those a–holes at the corner market won’t cash my welfare check!
• We’re going to keep our relationship quiet for now, my wife can be rather vindictive.
• In my opinion, those home pregnancy kits aren’t very reliable.
• Can I pull my car into your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What is ‘super-fec-un-dat-ion’?
a. The ability of a hybrid car to run on different power sources.
b. The process by which fraternal twins can have different fathers. [CORRECT]
c. When you have a really bad case of the ‘trots’.

• Which movie thriller was first known by the working title “Wimpy”?
a. Alfred Hitchcock’s classic “Psycho”. [CORRECT]
b. The now-showing “Cry Wolf”.
c. The 1950s B-movie “The Hamburger That Ate Manhattan”.

• Where did the word ‘scuttlebutt’ come from?
a. The low-riding bottom of a sand crab.
b. The trash heap in a navy yard.
c. The large cask used to hold drinking water on a ship. [CORRECT]

BS WEB GOODIE:
A new Website claims to have hacked into Ashton Kutcher’s voicemail and posted the messages on the ‘Net. Authentic or not, some of the audio clips are actually semi-entertaining. But beware – some are also in need of serious bleeping before being considered for air.
NET: http://ashtonhacked.com

BS ‘THIS OR THAT’ THURSDAY:
You run down the list rapid-fire while your guest or caller picks one from each pair …
• Freshly-ground Colombian coffee beans or freshly-squeezed oranges?
• “The Apprentice” or “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart”?
• A leisurely round of golf or a hard-hitting game of racquet ball?
• Kelly Clarkson or Gwen Stefani?
• Baseball or football?
• Pancakes & sausages or oatmeal & berries?
• Daughter or son?
• “People” magazine or “Macleans”?
• Short espresso or tall latte?
• Mowing the lawn or raking the leaves?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to an “Esquire” magazine survey, the top pickup line in Brazil is “You’re delicious.” In North America, it’s THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “You have beautiful eyes!”

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Managers know that people will do almost anything for a smiley face.


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