Wednesday, September 14, 2005        Edition: #3115
There’s No BS Like Show BS …

TODAY Russell Crowe is due back in NYC court to face a 2nd-degree felony assault charge for that idiotic phone-tossing incident in JUNE, even though he’s already reached a financial settlement with the assaulted concierge, Nestor Estrada (a conviction could bar him from working in the US) . . . TONIGHT “Canadian Idol” wraps another season as either Rex Goudie (Burlington NL) or Melissa O’Neil (Calgary) will be selected as winner in a 2-hour special that includes performances by Barenaked Ladies, former winner Kalan Porter, and “Canadian Idol” judge Sass Jordan (the winner’s version of “Alive” will be released to radio stations moments after the new ‘Idol’ is crowned) . . . TONIGHT on the MTV special “The Diary Of Angelina Jolie & Dr Jeffrey Sachs in Africa”, the actress and the economist tour Kenya to deal with issues of poverty and to inspire young people to take action . . . TONIGHT “Dancing with the Stars” runner-up John O’Hurley & most-hated “Apprentice” candidate Omarosa co-host the 29th annual “Mrs America” competition from Palm Springs CA on the new WE (Women’s Entertainment) channel . . . Actor Matt Damon & girlfriend Luciana Barroso are engaged “Us Weekly” reports (she’s a former Miami-based interior designer & mother of a young daughter) . . . “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher is the new spokeswoman for Clairol’s Nice ‘n Easy hair color (for the record, she uses ‘medium golden brown’) . . . Photographers are reportedly being offered up to $1 million for a pic of Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie (perhaps the motivation for the snapper recently busted while hiding on Pitt’s film set in Edmonton) . . . And word has it actor Colin Farrell recently partied so hearty after a day on the movie set of “Miami Vice”, he was spotted stumbling down a road intoxicated with his thumb out, trying to hitch a ride back to the posh Breakers hotel in Palm Beach FL.

• Arcade Fire – TONIGHT they do “Late Show With David Lettterman”.
• Jennifer Lopez – She says she’s baffled by the underwear her husband’s female fans throw onstage at his concerts … because it’s all huge. If she thinks it’s huge, it must be gargantuan!
• Lifehouse – TONIGHT they’re on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• Luke Stricklin – The 22-year-old has crammed a lot of living into the last 5 years: graduating from high school, getting married, then serving 18 months in the infantry in Baghdad where he wrote & recorded his country debut “American by God’s Amazing Grace” on a friend’s laptop.
• Madonna – Chicago-based artist David Kalb has made a statue of her, created from 180 lbs of ham.
• Paul McCartney – TONIGHT he kicks off a 28-date tour in support of his new album “Chaos & Creation in the Backyard” at the American Airlines Arena in Miami FL.
• Pink Floyd – 61-year-old Roger Waters has become the first celebrity to leave Britain in protest over the recent ban on fox hunting. He’s moved to the Hamptons in NY, calling the ruling ‘bloody stupid’.

A new online poll by “Business & Legal Reports” finds that 40% of executives believe FRIDAY is the best day of the week to fire someone. But according the book “The Best Time to Do  Everything” by Michael Kaplan, the best time is midweek at the end of a workday. Why? That way, there’s no perception from other staff that it was done after squeezing another full week’s work out of the axed employee. (“The good news, Jennifer, is that you’re getting an extra long weekend …”)
– “Globe & Mail”

After years of conflicting studies on the effects of radiation from household items, a comprehensive new health report to be published NEXT MONTH by the UK’s Health Protection Agency concludes that radiation from everyday items such as hairdryers, TVs, microwaves, cellphones and computers could be causing headaches, joint pain, depression and fatigue in some users who have developed a sensitivity to electricity. You can tell that radiation sickness has arrived because the syndrome has now been given a name – ‘Electrical Hypersensitivity’ or ‘EHS’. (Whoa! Get out the foil hats!)
– “Medical News Today” / ANI

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Wine Smog’ – When you think of vineyards, you get an idyllic mental picture that’s all fuzzy around the edges, right? Forget it! The fermentation process that turns grapes into wine releases ethanol, methanol & other compounds into the atmosphere where they become part of the components of smog. In fact, the air in California’s San Joaquin Valley wine-growing region rates among the dirtiest in America. (Snort the air, feel the buzz!)
• ‘Creative Aging’ – A suggested new expression to replace the term ‘Midlife Crisis’ (coined in 1965 by Canadian psychologist Elliot Jacques). As life expectancy continues to lengthen, middle-age has become a time for forward movement rather than away from things. (Call it whatever you want – the average guy driving a Corvette [or a Harley] is still gonna be over 45.)
• ‘Culinology’ – A new academic study that blends food technology with culinary arts. Up until now, new food products were developed by chefs, then passed on to scientists who figured out how to manufacture them in large quantities. (Now, a ‘culinologist’ can include all the fake additives right from square one.)

Researchers at Ohio State University have produced clean, renewable energy from – the contents of a cow’s stomach. The scientists found they could generate electricity using the bacteria that occur naturally inside a cow’s rumen, the first of 4 stomachs that breaks down grass and other fodder into a digestible mush. The bovine stomach bacteria adds to a growing list of cheap, plentiful, and non-polluting substances that can run devices known as ‘Microbial Fuel Cells’ or ‘MFCs’. (‘Scuse me neighbor, I seem to have run out of fuel. Could I borrow a cup of cow puke?”)
– “National Geographic”

Statistically, the most dangerous sport is horseback riding and those stats are likely to mount even more due to the fastest-growing new sport in the equestrian world – ‘Cowboy Mounted Shooting’. You ride a course while trying to shoot out 10 balloons with 10 shots using a pair of .45-caliber, single-action revolvers like those used in the late 1800s. The winner typically runs the course in about 30 seconds. (To make it an ‘X-treme’ sport, they need 2 participants riding toward each other!)
– “Denver Post”

33-year-old Hein Wagner of Cape Town, South Africa has reached a speed of 269 kph (167 mph) while driving a Maserati V8 GranSport across a remote airstrip to become the ‘World’s Fastest Blind Driver’. Blind since birth, he was able to complete the record by using a sighted navigator. (Who needed a change of underwear afterward.)
– Reuters

Items on your desk can reveal your personality. For example, University of Texas research suggests that a bowl of candy on a desktop reflects extroverted behavior, a worker who welcomes social interaction. A clock on the desk indicates that the owner is a responsible employee, the kind of person who buys new batteries before the old ones die. (Why not try taking a few calls to do a ‘desktop analysis’?)
– Newhouse News Service

Sales of neckties are said to be on the rise despite the current popularity of casual business attire – or perhaps it’s directly because of it. “GQ” magazine editor Dylan Jones says that because most men are now going to work without a tie, it becomes even more powerful to wear one. Ties are more than ever becoming a sign of success, he says, because they’re ‘classically distinctive’. (Yeah, whatever – it still feels like a midget with his hands around your neck trying to strangle you.)
– “The Observer”

 58-year-old New Jersey multi-millionaire Greg Olsen, who made his fortune in optics, is set to become the world’s 3rd space tourist. He’s been given the go-ahead for an OCTOBER 1st flight to the International Space Station after completing studies at the Cosmonaut Training Center. Olsen will ride aboard a Russian Soyuz spaceship for a brief stay with the station’s 12th crew. Previously, American Dennis Tito and South African Mark Shuttleworth spent a few days on the ISS in 2001 and 2002 respectively after paying $20 million apiece. (Wow, a destination almost as expensive as Barbados!)
– “Space Daily” / MSNBC

TODAY traffic accidents will kill 50 pedestrians on the roads of the developed world. If it were a terrorist attack, it would be headline news.
– “New Scientist”

“What I love most about fatherhood is the opportunity to be a part of the development process of a new life.”  – Pop singer Seal, whose model wife Heidi Klum has just given birth to a baby boy, sounding like he’ll be a really fun parent. (What do you call a baby Seal anyway? Pup?)


1947 [58] Sam Neill, Omagh, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Jurassic Park”, “The Piano”)

1959 [46] John Berry, Aiken SC, country singer (“Standing on the Edge of Goodbye”)

1960 [45] Callum Keith Rennie, Sunderland UK (raised Edmonton AB), movie actor (“The Butterfly Effect”, “eXistenZ”)

1964 [41] Faith Ford, Alexandria LA, TV sitcom actress (‘Hope Shanowski’ on “Faith & Hope” since 2003)

1971 [34] Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Rye NY, TV sitcom actress (‘Dana’ on “According to Jim” since 2001)

1973 [32] Nas (Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones), Queens NY, rapper (“Bridging the Gap”, “I’m Gonna Be Alright”)/married hip-hop artist Kelis JANUARY 2005

TODAY is “National Anthem Day”, celebrating the anniversary of Francis Scott Key penning the lyrics to the “Star-Spangled Banner” in 1814. Key, a Washington attorney, was aboard a warship during the War of 1812 when he wrote the famous words, which officially became the US national anthem by an act of Congress in 1931.

TODAY is “Pregnant Women’s Day”, set aside to honor all moms-to-be. According to a recent study, less than half of women are happy with the maternity care they get in hospitals and see giving birth as a ‘conveyor belt’ experience. What’s the most unusual pregnancy craving you’ve heard of?

TODAY is “National Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops?

TODAY is “International Cross-Cultural Day”, a good excuse to pepper your show with greetings in different languages. The Website for the ‘Say Hello Project’ will help you out …

TOMORROW-Monday is the 23rd annual “Testicle Festival” in Clinton, Montana, when they’ll be serving up more than 2 tons of what locals call ‘Rocky Mountain Oysters’. The festival’s slogan is ‘Have a Ball!’. Ask for delicious recipes.
PHONER: 406.825.4868 (Rock Creek Lodge)

1955 [50] Rock ‘n roll standard “Tutti Frutti” (taken from an ice cream flavor) is recorded by Little Richard in a 2-day recording session at Specialty Records in Hollywood (“A-womp-bomp-a-lu-bop, a-lop-bam-boom!”)

1985 [20] At the debut of the “MTV Video Music Awards”, The Cars & Michael Jackson are the big winners

1964 [41] Quickie breakfast alternative the ‘Pop Tart’ is introduced

1987 [18] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ as Sunday “NY Times” has 1,612 pages and weighs in at 12 lbs (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)

[Thurs] Care Givers Day
[Thurs] “Survivor: Guatemala” debuts
[Fri] Working Parents Day
[Fri] National POW/MIA Recognition Day
[Sun] Full Moon [Harvest Moon]
[Sun] 57th Primetime Emmy Awards
[Sun] 25th Terry Fox Run
This Week Is . . . No Bully Week
This Month Is . . . Mushroom Month


You run down the list rapid-fire while a studio guest or phone contestant tries to decide whether each is an actual current article from a women’s magazine or a complete fake …
• “Mattress Moves So Good He’ll Forget His Name … But Remember Yours Forever!”
• “What His Eyes Reveal About His Size” [BS]
• “10 Morning-After Breakfasts That Will Make Him Turn to Jelly!” [BS]
• “The Most Steaming Guy on Wisteria Lane!”
• “When Once is Not Enough” [BS]
• “10 Things to Toss With No Regrets”
• “Should Paris Quit Acting Dumb?”
• “Are You Ready For a Trio?” [BS]
• “What Kind of Therapy Is Right for You?”
• “The Ego Stroke That Keeps Guys Faithful”

I see our techie’s visiting the studio this morning. Hey, if you have nothing to do … don’t do it here!

Today’s Question: Dogs have about 100 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Facial expressions.

Everyone has an opinion about everything. At least that’s what I think.

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