Thursday, September 8, 2005        Edition: #3111
A Bull in Hand Is A Sheetload of Prep!

TONIGHT David Bowie, Destiny’s Child, the Arcade Fire, Duran Duran, Gwen Stefani, Nelly,
Billy Idol, Alicia Keys, Shakira, Joss Stone, Rob Thomas & Tim McGraw are set to perform at the 2nd annual 2-hour “Fashion Rocks” concert taping at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, kicking off “New York Fall Fashion Week” (airs TOMORROW night on CBS-TV) . . . TONIGHT the 1-hour pre-game special “NFL Opening Kickoff 2005″ on ABC-TV features Green Day & Santana in Foxboro MA, Kanye West, Maroon 5, Good Charlotte & Rihanna at the LA Coliseum, footage from the Rolling Stones “Bigger Bang” world tour in Detroit, and Trisha Yearwood singing the national anthem (oh yeah, then there’s an actual football game – the NFL season opener featuring Oakland @ New England) . . . TONIGHT is the 3rd-season premiere of more teen angst on FOX-TV’s “The OC” (guaranteed to ignite breathless questions like “Can Kirsten stay sober?” and “Can Trey survive his gunshot wound?”) . . . THIS WEEKEND when the movie “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” opens in Japan, at least 2 cinemas will use the ‘Aromatrix’ device during screenings to emit chocolate aroma into the theater during appropriate scenes (now that’s just cruel!).

• Alan Jackson – He’s donating all of the proceeds from TONIGHT’s concert in Columbus, Ohio to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund.
• Black Eyed Peas – Frontwoman Fergie says she uses ‘hypno-therapy’ to help balance all the chaos in her life.
• Brad Paisley – TODAY he’s on ABC-TV’s daytime talk show “The View”.
• Bruce Springsteen – TODAY “The Bruce Springsteen VH1 Storytellers” DVD hits stores, a 2-hour package featuring 8 songs, complete with introductions, details and explanatory anecdotes. Also included: a previously unseen Q&A session with an audience.
• Duran Duran – The band got its name from an astronaut in the 1968 Jane Fonda movie “Barbarella”.
• Pink Floyd – Roger Waters reveals that the band turned down $250 million to reunite for one last tour before they were asked to perform at “Live 8″ and says they’ll only play together again for a ‘special event’.

On the heels of his remake of “War of the Worlds”, Steven Spielberg is setting his sights on redoing another 1950s sci-fi classic, “When Worlds Collide” . . . . Jessica Alba (“Fantastic Four”) & Hayden Christensen (“Star Wars”) are set to star in the psychological thriller “Awake”, about a patient who finds himself awake during major surgery . . .  41-year-old Colombian actor John Leguizamo says he’ll never make another movie in sub-zero temperatures because filming the zombie thriller “Land Of The Dead” on an outdoor set during 3 consecutive months of freezing temps in Toronto LAST WINTER made him feel suicidal . . . Actor Peter Falk & ABC-TV are in talks to bring back rumpled raincoat-clad detective “Columbo” for another TV movie (better hurry – he’s turning 78 THIS MONTH!) . . . Former B2K singer Omarion, whose movie résumé already includes “You Got Served” and “Fat Albert”, will next appear in the horror film “Help” . . .  “Lord of the Rings” star Elijah Wood will play rock icon Iggy Pop in a new bio-film that starts shooting NEXT YEAR . . . And Marvel Enterprises (of Marvel Comics fame) is making a move toward becoming a major player in the movie biz, changing its name to Marvel Entertainment and planning a slew of feature films starring comic book characters such as ‘Captain America’, ‘Nick Fury’, ‘Black Panther’, ‘Ant-Man’, and ‘Dr Strange’.

TODAY is officially the “Blondie” comic strip’s 75th anniversary (even though much of the celebration occurred in the funnies LAST WEEKEND). Everyone from ‘Garfield’ and ‘Beetle Bailey’ to ‘Hagar the Horrible’ and ‘Dilbert’ have appeared in the “Blondie” strip over the past few weeks as a lead-up to the anniversary. The strip is a favorite worldwide, translated into more than 30 languages to reach about 250 million readers in 55 countries. First published on SEPTEMBER 8, 1930, “Blondie” was created by cartoonist Murat ‘Chic’ Young, who passed the torch to his son, (now 65-year-old) Dean, about a decade before his death in 1973. The images are created by artist Denis Lebrun. There have been “Blondie”-themed postage stamps, museum exhibits, movies and TV shows.
– AP

1. “Katzenjammer Kids” (1897 to present)
2. “Gasoline Alley” (begun in 1918).
3. “Barney Google & Snuffy Smith” (1919)
4. “Thimble Theater/Popeye” (1919)
5. “Little Orphan Annie” (1924)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

The published heights & weights of 2,168 NFL players were used to calculate the ‘Body Mass Index’ of each player. An ensuing study, published in the “Journal of the American Medical Association”, finds that fully 56% of all NFL players are grossly overweight. Researchers say players that huge can expect potentially serious consequences as they age and they should be worried about their health. However, NYC obesity surgeon John de Csepel notes that ‘BMI’ is an imperfect measure as NFL players would almost certainly also have a disproportionate amount of muscle mass compared to the overall population. And Dr Keith Ayoob of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine also defends the big guys by saying, “You can have a person who is 250 lbs and they’re overweight … but not over-fat. (To which we ask the ancillary question, “Huh?”)
– “NY Daily News”

A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of households have oatmeal tucked away somewhere in a cupboard.
• 73% of women would like the phrase ‘Plus-Size’ stricken from the vernacular entirely.
• 60% of women will admit to having had a one-night-stand at least once.
• 41% of us flush public toilets using a foot.
• 20% of women crave dirt while pregnant.

Japanese scientists have developed a robot that responds to spoken words by either frowning or smiling. The humanoid robot named ‘Kansei’ selects its facial expression according to a flow of artificial consciousness. Scientists say the bot’s ability to communicate feelings requires robotic technology to recognize human emotions. ‘Kansei’, which means sensibility and emotion in Japanese, also contains speech recognition software, a speaker to vocalize, and motors that contort artificial facial skin into expressions. (Kinda sounds like Joan Rivers!)

• Babies born between 1 am & 7 am have a 16% greater chance of neonatal death than those born between 7 am & 7 pm. Researchers don’t know why.
– “New York Times”
• The overnight bag Buddy Holly had with him when his plane crashed had a false bottom that concealed a pistol.

• “Poker would never have gotten on TV when we only had 3 networks. Poker has the feeling of a sport … but you don’t have to do pushups.”  – Magician/comedian/poker-player Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller), whose “How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker” is one of about 60 poker books to be published THIS YEAR.
– “USA Today”
• “It pains me to watch the human suffering taking place in the Gulf Region of my country.”  – Michael Jackson talking about the southeast USA (or maybe Bahrain?) while announcing he’ll record a hurricane relief song he’s written called “From the Bottom of My Heart” within 2 weeks.
– Reuters


1971 [34] David Arquette, Winchester VA, movie actor (“Scream 1-3″)/Mr Courteney Cox since 1999/brother of actresses Patricia & Rosanna Arquette

1975 [30] Larenz Tate, Chicago IL, movie actor (‘Quincy Jones’ in “Ray”, “Crash”)

1979 [26] Pink (Alecia Moore), Doylestown PA, pop singer (“Get The Party Started”)

TODAY through September 17th, the 30th annual “Toronto International Film Festival” in Toronto, Canada reels 335 films over 10 days, including 109 world premieres. A few facts …
• Among the first-see films: “Walk the Line”, the new movie based on Johnny Cash’s life starring Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon; “Tideland”, shot LAST YEAR in Saskatchewan by director Terry Gilliam (“The Brothers Grimm”); Roman Polanski’s “Oliver Twist”; and Martin Scorsese’s documentary “No Direction Home: Bob Dylan”.
• The festival opens with Indian-born director Deepa Mehta’s “Water” and closes with the crime drama “Edison”, starring Kevin Spacey, Morgan Freeman & Justin Timberlake.
• Stars expected to attend this year’s shindig include Charlize Theron, Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Elijah Wood, Annette Bening & Anthony Hopkins.
• The festival will present a slate of Chinese films in honor of 100 years of cinema in China.
• For the first time in its 30-year history, festival-goers can skip the lines and buy their film tickets online instead.

TODAY through Sunday the “Bell Canadian Open” golf championship swings into the Shaughnessy Golf & Country Club in Vancouver, one of the city’s most prestigious private clubs. Defending champion Vijay Singh will tee off against the likes of Mike Weir and other PGA stars.

TODAY is “International Literacy Day”, established by the United Nations to promote reading & writing programs worldwide. (For more information, read their leaflet.)

THIS MONTH is “National Coupon Month”, highlighting the benefits of coupon clipping which advocates say can lead to savings of up to 20% on grocery bills. In an average year, shoppers redeem close to $4 billion in coupons.

1966 [39] “Star Trek” premieres on NBC-TV (cancelled in April, 1969 after just 79 episodes)

1977 [28] Toronto’s Cindy Nicholas becomes 1st to swim English Channel non-stop – both ways!

1921 [84] 15-year-old Margaret Gorman from Washington DC (30-25-32) is crowned 1st ‘Miss America’ in 1st-ever bathing beauty contest (2-day pageant)

1965 [40] Kansas City Athletics’ Bert Campaneris plays all 9 positions in a single Major League Baseball game

[Fri-Mon] Canada’s Longest Yard Sale [Eastern Manitoba]
[Fri-Tues] Canadian Country Music Week [Calgary]
[Sat] Destiny’s Child final concert [Vancouver]
[Sat] PETA’s 25th Anniversary Gala [Hollywood]
[Sat] World Suicide Prevention Day
[Sat] Swap Ideas Day
[Sat] Federal Lands Cleanup Day
[Sun] 9/11 Remembrance Day [Patriot Day]
[Sun] America Supports You concert [Washington DC]
[Sun] Grandparents Day
[Sun] Pet Memorial Day
This Week Is . . . Fall Hat Week
This Month Is . . . Cable TV Month


• Finish all your sentences with, “… in accordance with the prophecy.”
• Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, ‘Rock Hard’.
• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!!!”
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking, yelling,”Run for your lives, they’re  loose!”
• Page yourself over the office intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
• Always specify that your drive-thru order is ‘to go’.

No visible flesh nor blood nor bone,
But given time they’ll walk alone.
What are they?

• Keeps asking if he can double down on some cookies.
• She’s converted her pet hamster’s treadmill into a crude roulette wheel.
• There’s a bookie sleeping in your tree-house.
• She’s changed her middle name to ‘The Greek’.
• You interrupt him playing ‘Hold ‘Em’ again but this time it’s just a card game.
• He’s 9 and he’s dating a showgirl.

People do a lot of things for money. How far would you go?
• For $7.5 million: Your mate will be kidnapped and held hostage in a filthy bed and will be given only the most basic food for 1 year. There is a guarantee of no physical harm as well as no sexual contact. When the year is up, you will rescue your mate and reap all the loving benefits of doing so. No one will ever know you had anything to do with it, although you risk the chance that he/she may suffer some degree of recurring trauma (ie. waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, screaming). Would you do it?
• For $1 million: You must live in a hardcore prison for 1 month with no special protection or provisions. You will have no criminal record when you are released. Would you do it?
• For $100,000: A funeral is taking place. You do not know anyone at the funeral or anyone involved with it. As a family member is making their heartfelt, teary speech, you must run into the midst of the crowd and yell, “I’m glad he’s dead! Ha ha ha!!” and then run away. Would you do it?
– “The Book of Horrible Questions”

Today’s Question: In a year the average person walks 4 miles doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Making the bed.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.

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