Wednesday, September 1, 2005        Edition: #3107
Sheet For Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Music industry types have been contacting one another about putting on a benefit mega-concert to aid victims of Katrina (“Live 9″?) . . . Meantime, several Canadian stations have temporarily yanked the Tragically Hip classic “New Orleans is Sinking” in the wake of the killer storm which has literally put the Big Easy underwater . . . YESTERDAY fans left flowers & messages at the former home of Britain’s Princess Diana to mark the 8th anniversary of her death . . . David Hesterbey, the 48-year-old homeless man who allegedly broke into Jennifer Aniston’s Malibu home, has pleaded not guilty on the burglary charge but is also charged with petty theft – for stiffing the cab that he took to the ‘scene of the crime’ (what a cheapskate stalker!) . . . Britney Spears has reportedly spent in excess of $100,000 on the nursery for her baby, which features expensive organic fabric on the walls & ceiling, a hand-painted mural of peaceful nature scenes, and furniture made of costly Alder wood . . . Model Heidi Klum has set herself a tough task – agreeing to appear in lingerie for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show TV special in NOVEMBER, just 2 months after she’s due to  give birth . . . “Fantastic Four” actress Jessica Alba says she will NOT star in the movie remake of TV sitcom “I Dream Of Jeannie” as widely speculated . . . Meantime, Alba says she sometimes fantasizes about being US President because she loves the idea of dominating a room full of men (does that require any special equipment?) . . . Courtney Love may be evicted from her 4,200-sq-ft Manhattan loft because she’s failed to make payments on her $3-million mortgage for 3 months . . . Orlando Bloom has been nicknamed ‘Lord of the Flings’ after being spotted dancing with Kirsten Dunst, the 3rd blond babe he’s been seen with in recent weeks . . . And, in case you really care, Lindsay Lohan claims that she tried to end the infamous feud between herself & Hilary Duff but when she phoned her rival – she got hung up on.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – Word has it she’s in talks to headline a year-long engagement at a Las Vegas casino in 2007-08. No word on which resort is making the offer.
• Clay Aiken – His 2nd CD should be out NEXT SPRING. He’s currently working on it with Canadian producer Jaymes Foster-Levy, sister of famed producer David Foster.
• Coldplay – Even though they just released “X & Y”, their manager says they have lots more new material ready to record and could release a 4th album within the next year. That could mean that they continue to tour well into 2007.
• Kanye West – He’s filed a $1.3-million lawsuit against a Chicago deejay who allegedly tried to distribute 10 unreleased tracks Kanye cut before he was 18.
• Lil’ Kim – THIS WEEK she was almost booted off a US Air flight from Fort Lauderdale FL to NYC after a loud argument with a flight attendant over a seat mix-up. She’ll soon be picking her fights on the inside; she begins serving her year-and-a-day prison sentence SEPTEMBER 19th.
• Lonestar – US Air Force Colonel Paul Lockhart has returned a copy of their “I’m Already There” CD that they lent him 3 years ago to take along on his mission to the International Space Station. Now they’ve got it back as a souvenir!
• Rolling Stones – THIS WEEK they filmed their newest video “Streets Of Love” in a small Ottawa nightclub called Zaphod Beeblebrox.
• Ryan Cabrera – TONIGHT he’s on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• The Who – They’ve teamed with Brit boy-band McFly on a new version of their 1965 hit “My Generation” to launch HMV’s new music download Website SEPTEMBER 5th.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
The effects of Hurricane Katrina are being felt in the entertainment industry as at least 4 major productions have been halted in the aftermath of the storm (Louisiana’s generous tax incentives had made it a favorite movie location) . . . Jim Carrey & Ben Stiller will team up in the sci-fi comedy “Used Men”, playing ‘obsolete pleasure clones’ . . . “40-Year-Old Virgin star Steve Carell will reprise his news anchor character from “Bruce Almighty” in a semi-sequel called “Evan Almighty” . . . Eccentric Icelandic pop singer & sometime actress Bjork (“Dancer in the Dark”) plays a woman who becomes a whale in the surreal new film “Drawing Restraint 9″ by her artist boyfriend Matthew Barney . . . Natalie Portman is in negotiations to star in “Goya’s Ghosts”, a drama about the Spanish Inquisition . . . Keanu Reeves & Catherine Zeta-Jones are in talks to star in a film about Johnny Stompanato, the small time crook who was murdered by the teen daughter of his actress partner Lana Turner . . . Anthony Hopkins is set to star with Demi Moore in “Bobby”, an ensemble drama about the intertwining lives of those present at LA’s Ambassador Hotel the night Robert F Kennedy was assassinated in 1968 . . . And Sandra Bullock is in talks to star in the ghost thriller “Premonition” as a housewife whose husband dies in a car crash – then reappears the next day.

MOST DANGEROUS JOBS:
When ranked by fatality rate, these are the most risky ways to make a living  …
5. Refuse/recyclable material collector
4. Structural iron/steel worker
3. Fisher/fishery worker
2. Aircraft pilot
1. Logging worker
– CNN/Money

FAT FEE FOR THIN HOUSE:
London, England has become one of the world’s most expensive real estate markets and here’s the proof: A newly-listed house in the Shepherds Bush neighborhood of West London is up for sale at slightly over $930,000. The home is spread over 5 levels and used to be a hat shop before being converted into living quarters. Here’s what makes it such a pricey pad – the row house measures just 5-ft-wide at its narrowest point and less than 10 ft at its widest.
– Sky News

CALLING ALL CARS:
Over 20% of car owners have a nickname for their ride. While 16% of men name their car, as many as 26% of women do, according to a new survey. But the nicknames are more likely to be derogatory than affectionate.
– “Times”

THE ALTERNATIVE WORK-OUT:
Fitness expert Andy Darling says you don’t have to sweat it out in the gym to stay fit. Some alternatives he suggests …
• Wear less. You’ll have to burn calories to create your own body heat.
• Always stand when traveling on public transit. The gentle rolling motion is a good workout for muscles that girdle the lower spine.
• Whenever possible use regular doors instead of automatic ones. Pushing a door uses the triceps, shoulder & chest muscles.
• Crumple your newspaper after reading it to work finger and wrist muscles, thereby helping to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome.
• Carry objects at arm’s length whenever you can. Keeping the arms fully extended is good for the shoulders, abs & chest muscles.
– “Herald-Sun”

BEST-SELLING BACK-TO-SCHOOL SUPPLIES:
5. Calculators.
4. Crayons.
3. Binders.
2. Single-subject notebooks.
1. Loose-leaf paper.
– Staples

DID YOU KNOW?
The act of snapping one’s fingers is called a ‘fillip’.

AND WE QUOTE:
• “I still think of myself as a fat little dorky kid from Orange County desperately wanting to be cool.”  – Gwen Stefani revealing her poor self-image in Italy’s “Grazia” magazine.
• “My sisters and I were all endowed with biscuits … that’s what I call them.”  – Actress Jennifer Garner, admiring her own rack. She also tells “In Style” magazine that the crew on her TV show “Alias” lets her know whenever a ‘biscuit shot’ is coming up.

THE BULL SHEET 09.01.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [66] Lily Tomlin, Detroit MI, TV actress (President’s personal secretary ‘Deborah Fiderer’ on “The West Wing” since 2002)/movie actress (“9 to 5″)/comedian

1946 [59] Barry Gibb, Isle of Man UK, falsetto oldies singer (Bee Gees-“Stayin’ Alive”)

1950 [55] Dr Phil (McGraw), Vinita OK, daytime TV talk show host (“Dr Phil” since 2002)/author (“Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters”)  FACTOID: He’s only a ‘doctor’ due to a PhD in psychology.

1957 [48] Gloria Estefan (Fajardo), Havana, Cuba, pop singer (“Turn The Beat Around”)

1964 [41] Charlie Robison, Houston TX, country singer/songwriter (“Right Man for the Job”) who wed the Dixie Chicks’ Emily (Seidel) Robison in 1999

1971 [34] Ricardo Antonio Chavira, San Antonio TX, TV actor (‘Carlos Solis’ on “Desperate Housewives”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Islam] “Isra Al Mi’raj” (Ascent of Prophet Muhammad)

TODAY is “Emma Nutt Day”, honoring the 1st professional telephone operator. She began saying ‘number please’ 127 years ago TODAY (1878) in Boston MA and continued for 33 years. (She was grateful that her name was ‘Emma’ and not ‘Ima’.)

TODAY the annual “Harley Davidson & Goldwing Rally” gathers at Cap d’Agde, France on the Mediterranean seafront. The 4-day meet is expected to attract more than 1,000 bikes which will tour along the French Riviera, including a spin around the nudist beach area. (For those who like a bit of bare-bottom biking.)

THIS WEEKEND Buffalo NY hosts the 4th annual “National Buffalo Wing Festival”, when some 20 tons of wings will be deep-fried, drenched in hot-sauce and served up. Events include ‘Bobbing for Wings’, the ‘Miss Buffalo Wing Pageant’ and the ‘US Chicken Wing Eating Championship’. TOMORROW the festival will serve its 1-millionth chicken wing!
NET: http://www.buffalowing.com
So called ‘Buffalo Wings’ were invented at the local Anchor Bar in 1964. So how did that happen? And what’s the secret of making perfect wings?
PHONER: 716.886.8920/716.853.1791

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1985 [20] Scientists from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute find the wreckage of the “Titanic” in the North Atlantic (leading to the biggest movie of all-time)

1999 [06] Canadian ‘Specialty Channels’ debut, including ‘Star!’, ‘Canadian Learning Television’, ‘Report on Business Television’ and ‘Aboriginal Peoples Television Network’

2002 [03] Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar weds actor Freddie Prinze Jr

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [10] Cleveland’s ‘Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’ is dedicated

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] “A Sound of Thunder”, “The Transporter 2″ & “Underclassman” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Rolling Stones play Magnetic Hill [Moncton NB]
[Sun] Newspaper Carrier Day
[Sun] Working Mothers Day
[Sun] Cheese Pizza Day
[Sun] Father’s Day [Australia]
[Mon] Labor Day
[Mon] Be Late For Something Day
[Mon-Sept 11] 101st Canadian Open Golf Championship [Vancouver]
This Week Is . . . International Enthusiasm Week
This Month Is . . . Library Card Sign-Up Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
MOST ANNOYING HABITS GUYS HAVE:

Think these are legit or just gender stereotyping?
• Splashing the mirror when brushing teeth.
• Leaving hair in the sink after shaving.
• Using a dozen drinking glasses a day instead of one.
• Littering the floor with laundry.
• Not doing any housework.
• Passing gas indiscriminately.
• Developing a martyr complex when sick.
• Endless TV channel surfing.
Ask listeners for more!
– AskMen.com

BS ‘THIS OR THAT?’ THURSDAY:
You run down the list rapid-fire while your guest or listener picks one from each pair …
• Steak or salad?
• Chevy Corvette of Cadillac Escalade?
• Stock market or real estate?
• Hard or soft ice cream?
• Jennifer or Angelina?
• Cats or dogs?
• August or September?
• Hawk or dove?
• Jay Leno or Jon Stewart?
• Beer or wine?

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Is Hurricane Katrina just the latest excuse to gouge gas station customers? (Prices now vary by as much as 25 cents a liter across the country.)
• If you could have your pick, which famous celebrity would you choose as a sister or brother?

EASY QUESTIONS THAT AREN’T:
• The ‘Immaculate Conception’ refers to the birth of what biblical figure? [The Virgin Mary, not, as just about everyone but a seminary student will tell you, Jesus.]
• During a Leap Year, how many times does the Sun go around the Earth? [Zero. Earth orbits the Sun.]
– “Weekly World News”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, women do THIS 5 times a day, while men only do it 3 times.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Apologize.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.


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