September 9, 2008

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008 Edition: #3853
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

Donations for the “Stand Up to Cancer” telethon have topped $100 million, including contributions from FRIDAY’s multi-network cancer telethon as well as money raised since late May, when the initiative was launched . . . The new daytime talk show “The Bonnie Hunt Show” features a novel way for guests to enter — by sliding down a fire pole (a salute to firefighters in Hunt’s family) . . . Comedy Central has announced Stephen Colbert’s DNA will be digitized and sent to the International Space Station as part of an ‘Immortality Drive’ to preserve a time capsule of human DNA & history of humanity’s greatest achievements (“The Colbert Report”?) . . . 63-year-old actress Helen Mirren says she spent a night with prostitutes to research her role as the madame of Nevada’s first legalized brothel in the upcoming movie “Love Ranch”, which she also directs . . .Bow Wow has lost a massive $100,000 after losing a head-to-head “Madden NFL ’09” videogame clash against rapper The Game on Xbox 360 (The Game won’t see it — it was all for charity) . . . And 26-year-old actor/screenwriter Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express”) says that all of his friends are ‘boy-men’ that act ‘as dumb as 18-year-olds’ (wow, you’d never pick up on that from watching his deep philosophical films would you?).

• AC/DC – “No Bull: The Directors Cut”, a newly edited DVD of the band’s famed 1996 Plaza De Toros De Las Ventas concert in Madrid, Spain is released. Includes shots from ‘Angus-cam’.
• “Fashion Rocks” (CBS) – Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Keith Urban, Mariah Carey, and Rihanna perform in this prerecorded concert from NYC.
• “Fringe” (FOX/CTV) – Premiere of the newest surreal show from JJ Abrams (“Lost”), centers on an unlikely trio that uncovers a deadly mystery involving a series of unbelievable events.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Jessica Simpson performs (just a warning). Her new country album “Do You Know” is released TODAY.
• John Cusack – Diane Leatherman, the accused stalker who was arrested outside the actor’s California home in MARCH goes on trial in LA Superior Court. She faces 3 years if convicted.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – UK pop duo the Ting Tings (“Shut Up & Let Me Go”) are on.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – Gym Class Heroes are the musical guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Michael Bublé performs (see Celebirthdays)
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Singer/activist Annie Lennox is featured.
• “Paris, Not France“ – This ‘behind-the-scenes’ documentary about the life of Paris Hilton premieres at the “Toronto International Film Festival”. Ms Hilton herself (a producing partner) hosts the showing. 2 other planned screenings were cancelled in order ‘to create more hype’. (BS translation: They couldn’t GIVE AWAY tickets.)

• Chris Brown — He’s been asked by his label Jive Records to help out Britney spears with a comeback effort. So fa he’s written 2 tunes for her which she may or may not record.
• Dierks Bentley — He’s going to be a first-time dad later THIS FALL. He says he and his wife have practised parenting with their 2 dogs, whom they think of as kids.
• KT Tunstall — She & her drummer Luke Bullen have gotten married. at a hotel on the Isle of Skye in Scotland. Next she’s is planning a trip to the North Pole to raise awareness of global warming in an effort organized by the Cape Farewell group. (Some honeymoon!)

• “Baby Mama” ( Comedy ): Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) plays a single career woman who’s longing to have a baby. But instead of putting her corporate ladder climb on hold, she hires a surrogate mom (“SNL’s” Amy Poehler) to have a kid for her. Co-stars Sigourney Weaver and Greg Kinnear. Note: Fey & Poehler co-anchored “Saturday Night Live’s” ‘Weekend Update’ news desk from 2004-06.
• Also released TODAY: “The Big Lebowski: 10th Anniversary Edition”; “Child’s Play: Chucky’s 20th Birthday Edition”; “The Fast & the Furious: 2-Movie Collection”; “Grey’s Anatomy: The Complete 4th Season – Expanded”; “How the West Was Won – Ultimate Collector’s Edition”; “Medium – 4-Season Pack” (TV); “Smallville: The Complete 7th Season” (TV); “Ugly Betty: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV).

Paraplegics with an extra $20,000 lying around will purportedly be able to walk again thanks to the ‘ReWalk’, a wearable robotic suit that enables those paralyzed below the waist to stand, walk, and climb stairs. Created by an Israeli company called Argo Medical Technologies, the suit is activated by a remote control device on the wrist band and then controlled by the user with the help of a pair of crutches. (Isn’t this how ‘Darth Vader’ got started?)
– “Curious Times”

Seniors can gain up to 14 extra years of alertness if they engage in mental exercise, according to scientists. In experiments, a group of 65-year-olds who did just 10 hours of memory training and problem solving ranked 7-to-14 years younger mentally than those who didn’t. Puzzles such as crosswords and sudoku are said to be ideal forms of mental exercise. (Guess if you’re wearing a hat is another.)
– “Passim”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 90% of adults say they broke the law in some form as a teenager.
• 70% of women think it’s ok to criticize the physique of their significant other.
• 40% of us say we feel more ‘attractive’ when wearing sunglasses.
• 28% of women say they’d give up a week of vacation if they never had to shave again.
• 25% of men say they find it a complete turn-off when a woman pampers her pet.
• 7% of adults get married for insurance.

Aboriginals are outraged over the publication of an Australian edition of “The Daring Book for Girls” which includes instructions for playing the didgeridoo, an Aboriginal instrument traditionally used only in men’s ceremonies and rituals. After calling for the books to be destroyed, Aboriginal groups have warned young women that playing the instrument could lead to infertility and other unspecified horrors. The Victorian Aboriginal Education Association says it’s very clear that there’s a range of consequences for a female even touching a didgeridoo. (And never, ever sleep with a boomerang!)

Open up your cellphone, look at the list of people and choose the one you would want to be notified in case you’re involved in an accident or emergency. Then add the letters ‘ICE’ before that name. ‘ICE’ stands for ‘In Case of Emergency’ and is a designation emergency personnel understand. The ‘ICE Program’ started in the UK. Now it’s gaining momentum elsewhere. (This may backfire if the EMS is planning a party after work. “Don’t forget the booze and the ICE.”)
– CBS News

Scientists in Germany have ruined another one of life’s simple pleasures. They now warn that heated car seats may toast a man’s privates just enough to damage his sperm production. The latest research backs up a previous study which found that couples take longer to conceive if the male drives for more than 3 hours a day due to … the pressure of the car seat. (We won’t even start on bicycle riders.)
– “New Scientist”

• Painting a house yellow or having yellow trim is said to help in selling it faster.
• According to an Accountemps survey of executives, TUESDAY is the day of the week on which employees are most productive (selected by 51% of respondents).


1952 [56] Dave Stewart, Sunderland UK, record producer/classic rock musician (Eurythmics-“Sweet Dreams”, “Here Comes the Rain Again”)

1960 [48] Hugh Grant, London UK, movie actor (“Music & Lyrics”, “Bridget Jones” films) FACTOID: He’s recently been spotted dating 27-year-old fashion designer Catherine Fuller … 21 years his junior.

1966 [42] Adam Sandler, Brooklyn NY, movie actor/producer (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”, “The Wedding Singer”)

1969 [39] Rachel Hunter, Auckland, New Zealand, model (“Sports Illustrated”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Playboy”/TV personality (“Celebrity Circus“, “Dancing With the Stars”)/Mrs Rod Stewart (1990-99)

1972 [36] Goran Visnjic, Sibenik, Croatia, TV actor (“ER” 1999-2008)

1975 [33] Michael Bublé, Burnaby BC, big band crooner (“Lost”, “Home”)

1980 [28] Michelle Williams, Kalispell MT, movie actress (“Brokeback Mountain”)/former TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Heath Ledger’s baby momma UP NEXT: “Synecdoche, New York”, premiering tonight at the “Toronto Film Festival” [‘Synecdoche’ is pronounced ‘sin-NECK-doh-key’].)

• “Aunts Day”, a day of recognition for ‘those special women in our lives who provide guidance and humor’. (Another Hallmark moment.)

• “Expectant Father’s Day”, a day for neglected first-time dads to get some much needed recognition.

• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal that was inspired by the helpless cub US President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ in the USA shortly after that incident, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.

1995 [13] “Gangsta’s Paradise” by one-hit-wonder Coolio reaches #1 on pop singles chart

1884 [124] 1st ‘Hot Dog’ created by Antoine Feuchtwanger, adding a bun so juice wouldn’t drip all over frankfurter eaters (thank goodness he didn’t name it after himself!)

1904 [104] 1st reference to NYC ball club as the ‘Yankees’ (“Boston Herald”)

1950 [58] 1st ‘Laugh Track’ on TV (“The Hank McCune Show”)

1984 [24] 1st Roman Catholic pontiff to tour Canada (Pope John Paul II)

1995 [13] 1st ‘Sony PlayStation’ goes on sale

[Wed] “Canadian Idol” season finalé
[Wed] World Suicide Prevention Day
[Wed] Swap Ideas Day
[Wed] 2008 CMA Awards nominees announced
[Thurs] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Thurs] I Want to Start My Own Business Day
[Thurs] No News is Good News Day
[Fri] Video Game Day
This Week Is … National 5-A-Day Week (fruits & vegetables)
This Month Is … Cholesteral Education & Awareness Month


You and your co-host take turns trying to sell a story to your contestant. The contestant then tries to decide which is true and which is a load of hooey …
• Why are liberals said to be ‘left wing’ and conservatives said to be ‘right wing’?
a. It’s all about seating. In early European legislatures, conservative parties were seated to the rights and liberal parties to the left. That simply became the tradition. It could as easily have been the other way around. [CORRECT]
b. You are so wrong. It goes back way further than that … to Greek mythology in fact. When the hero Perseus rescued the kidnapped Oracles of Delphi on his giant winged horse Pegasus, the more adventuresome rode on the left wing so they could look back and mock their captors. The more reserved or conservative Oracles preferred to ride on the right wing. [Total BS.]
– “Malarky”

A friend is someone who tells you when your breath stinks.

If you could have the hair of any Hollywood celeb, whose would you want?

Today’s Question: A restaurant cannot serve you THIS without notifying you first.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Margarine … it has to be butter.

Nothing is forever, but a ‘temporary tax’ comes close.

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