Tuesday, September 28, 2004        Edition: #2875
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the off-Broadway play “The Marijuana-Logues” opens in NYC and pot-loving patrons will be able to redeem their ticket stub for free weed – if they’re willing to travel – at the British Columbia Marijuana Party Bookstore in Vancouver . . . TONIGHT at the 1st-ever “BET Comedy Awards”, “The Bernie Mac Show” leads nominations with 8 and the Wayans family will receive the inaugural ‘Comedy Icon Award’ . . . TONIGHT ESPN’s new reality show “I’d Do Anything” debuts, in which people perform stunts so a friend or family member can fulfill an ultimate sports fantasy, such as playing golf with Jack Nicklaus or cycling with Lance Armstrong . . . Marlon Brando’s son Miko is considering developing the late actor’s Polynesian haven of Tetiaroa into a luxury tourist attraction (SFX … that rumbling you heard was Marlon rolling over in his grave) . . . Reality TV producer Mark Burnett is joining forces with Martha Stewart to become a consultant on her future TV projects, including a primetime show that’s being considered (“Survivor: Women’s Prison”) . . . Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has thanked his publicist Meredith O’Sullivan for all of her hard work over the past few years by handing her the keys to a brand-new Lexus SUV (see what you started, Oprah?) . . . Word has it actor Leonardo Dicaprio has been dumped by stupormodel Gisele Bundchen (aka ‘The Boobs From Brazil’), who became tired of waiting for a proposal after 4 years, and she’s now hanging with actor Josh Hartnett (“Wicker Park”) . . . Lindsay Lohan’s loser father Michael Lohan has been tossed out of NYC strip club Scores – for becoming loud & belligerent (hey, his daughter gets paid for that!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billy Joel – Word is the 56-year-old classic rocker will wed 26-year-old girlfriend Katie Lee SATURDAY, and the guests will include Donald Trump and actor Alec Baldwin.
• Britney Spears – The rumor is she’s told family and close friends that she is pregnant. That’s purportedly why she moved her wedding date ahead from NOVEMBER.
• Queen Latifah – TODAY she releases “The Dana Owens Album”, which reintroduces the 34-year-old Jersey girl by her given name, and features pop, jazz and R&B classics.
• Eve – TONIGHT she’s on NBC-TV’s “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Kenny Chesney/Martina McBride – TODAY they’re on “Oprah” to perform at the ‘World’s Biggest Baby Shower’ for some 640 military wives and mothers-to-be at Fort Campbell KY.
• Leonard Cohen – TODAY the 70-year-old releases the new album “Dear Heather”, which includes 12 new songs and a remake of the Patti Page hit “Tennessee Waltz” (the only single to ever top the country, pop and R&B charts)
• Keith Urban – TODAY he’s on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Jim Carrey & Kate Winslet play a couple in a tumultuous relationship. After she has memories of it erased by a new psycho-tech process he decides to do the same, but then changes his mind midstream when he rediscovers his love for her. Co-stars Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, and Elijah Wood.
• “The Alamo” (Western – DVD/VHS): The dramatic true story of a handful of Texans who manage to hold the fort against thousands of Mexican soldiers for 13 days in 1836. Stars Patrick Wilson (‘Lt Col William Travis’), Jason Patric (‘James Bowie’), Billy Bob Thornton (‘Davie Crockett’), and Dennis Quaid (‘General Sam Houston’).
• “Envy” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Ben Stiller & Jack Black star as best friends, neighbors and co-workers whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one actually succeeds with a harebrained get-rich-quick scheme – a spray that makes dog poop evaporate into thin air.
Co-stars Christopher Walken & Rachel Weisz.
• “Walking Tall” (Action – DVD): Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson plays a retired US Special Forces soldier who finds his boyhood town has become overrun with crime, drugs, and violence. Enlisting the help of an old pal (Johnny Knoxville), he gets himself elected sheriff and vows to clean the place up. The first bigscreen version (1973) of the true story starred Joe Don Baker.
• “Super Size Me” (Documentary – DVD): Director Morgan Spurlock’s tongue-in-cheek and burger-in-hand look at the legal, financial and physical costs of America’s hunger for fast food.

PLEASE, PLAY IT AGAIN!
Medical researchers say music can stimulate the same parts of the brain as food and sex. A joint American-Canadian research team using scanners to determine which parts of the brain react to ‘spine-tingling’ tunes, found that many of the brain functions associated with orgasm response also react to music. (Wouldn’t this make listening to JoJo illegal?)
– “Science”

TAT MAKEOVERS:
Paris Hilton had ex-boyfriend Nick (Carter’s) name tattooed on her butt just weeks before they split up. What could she have it changed into? Here’s how other stars altered their ink …
• Drew Barrymore – She had previous boyfriend Jamie (Walters’) name blacked out with a cross held by an angel.
• Halle Berry – She had former bf and ballplayer David Justice’s name on her butt covered with a big blue circle.
• Pamela Anderson – She had the ‘Tommy’ (Lee) tattoo on her finger changed to ‘Mommy’.
• Johnny Depp – He changed the ‘Winona Forever’ on his upper right arm to ‘Wino Forever’.
• Roseanne Barr – She had her ‘Property of Tom Arnold’ tat completely zapped via laser surgery.
• Alyssa Milano – She just says the ‘SRW’ on her ankle, initials of former fiancé actor Scott Wolf, stands for ‘Some Rad Woman’.
– “Page Six”

SPACE BUNNIES:
The ‘Raelian Movement’ was founded in France in 1973 following the supposed contact between leader ‘Rael’ and an extra-terrestrial. Now 3 of the cult’s 60,000 followers are posing nude in “Playboy” magazine in an attempt to attract young men to the organization. Shizue Koneko, Rael’s personal assistant, is particularly proud to be featured in the spread, considering she’s 38-years-old. She claims the Raelian philosophy of sexual freedom has helped her keep her figure. In celebration of the free publicity, Rael will give a speech on the topic of “Nudity and Spirituality“ at THIS MONTH’S Raelian convention in Montréal, where he’ll also be awarding Hugh Hefner the title of ‘Honorary Priest’. (If you’re going, don’t forget your tin foil hat!)
– “Curious Times”
NET: http://rael.org

SECRETS OF A SULTRY VOICE:
More results from a recent SUNY, Albany study on voices …
• Men considered to have the sexiest voices are usually men with broad shoulders and narrow hips, features that are related to testosterone and growth.
• Women with the most attractive voices often also have the so-called ‘ideal feminine figure’ – a narrow waist and broad hips.
• And here’s an idea for a studio experiment – people whose voices rate most attractive tend to have little fingers that measure the same length on both hands.
– BBC News Online.

ANTI-PAROLE PETITION:
John Lennon’s killer is up for parole next MONDAY, but fans are working to prevent Mark David Chapman from gaining freedom. Chapman, now 49, has served 24 years in prison for gunning down Lennon on December 8, 1980. A petition on a Website seeking to deny Chapman parole has so far collected close to a thousand signatures, some from people saying he’s likely safer in jail. Chapman was last denied parole in 2002.
– “NY Daily News”
NET: http://www.petitiononline.com/rem128/

BS AMAZING FACT:
There are an estimated 100 million AK-47 assault rifles in existence – 1 for every 60 people in the world. Now the weapon’s 84-year-old Russian inventor, Mikhail Kalashnikov, has been persuaded by a UK entrepreneur to endorse a new brand of booze – ‘AK-47 Vodka’. (Adding whole new meaning to ‘gimme another shot’!)

THE BULL SHEET 09.28.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [70] Brigitte Bardot, Paris FRA, former movie star (“And God Created Woman”)/animal rights activist

1967 [37] Mira Sorvino, Tenafly NJ, movie actress (“Romy& Michele’s High School Reunion”, Oscar-“Mighty Aphrodite”)

1968 [36] Naomi Watts, Shoreham UK [raised Australia], movie actress (“21 Grams”, “The Ring”)  UP NEXT: The horror flick sequel “The Ring 2″, then “King Kong”.

1972 [32] Gwyneth Paltrow, LA CA, movie actress (“Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow “, Oscar-“Shakespeare in Love”)/Mrs Chris Martin since 2003/mom to Apple

1975 [29] Mandy Barnett, Crossville TN, country singer (“Whispering Wind”)

1987 [17] Hilary Duff, Houston TX, pop singer (“Fly”, “Come Clean”)/movie actress (“A Cinderella Story”, “Cheaper by the Dozen”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Ask a Stupid Question Day”, created by some unknown keener who decided that ‘asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake’. Questions like …
• Given their record with the ladies, why aren’t there more milkmen?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• How come a lot of educated people are such morons?
• What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• Do women like silent men because they think they’re listening?

TODAY is “Family Health & Fitness Day”. Yeah, why not suggest some morning calisthenics around the breakfast table and see where you get?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [07] ‘DVD’ format is unveiled at the 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society in NYC (thereby turning your VCR into a $200 doorstop)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1991 [13] “Ropin’ the Wind” album by Garth Brooks debuts at #1 on country chart AND pop chart

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1995 [09] 1st MLB pitcher to pitch with both hands (not at the same time) as Montréal Expo Greg Harris faces 4 Cincinnati batters, throwing to 2 of them right-handed and 2 left-handed

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1919 [85] Quickest-ever MLB game as Giants beat Phillies 6-1 in just 51 minutes

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Goose Day
[Wed] Pumpkin Day
[Thurs] Mud Pack Day
[Sat] Name Your Car Day
[Sat] World Farm Animal Day
[Sat] Custodial Workers Day
[Sun] 2nd Western Canadian Music Awards (Calgary)
This Week Is . . . Newspaper Week
This Month Is . . . International Self-Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SIGNS YOUR WIFE’S GETTING BORED WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE:

• Gets really upset when the ashtray falls off your butt.
• Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.
• She yells out her OWN name.
• Keeps a bottle of Advil on the nightstand as headache evidence.
• Mentions her most frequent fantasy during sex is having a partner.

BS LOVE LETTER:
Ask a listener or studio guest to supply a random list of nouns, verbs & adjectives, then read this ‘love letter’ from your partner, using the word list to fill in the blanks …
“Darling I’ve been thinking about you all day and about how much I love your (noun). I can’t get it out of my head. I love the way it feels in my (noun). Just thinking about it there makes my (noun) (adjective). I wish you were here right now so that I could run my (noun) up and down your (noun). No one’s (noun) has ever affected me the way yours does. The way you (verb) me with it makes me want to scream with delight. My (noun) is (verb)-ing just imagining you (verb)-ing me. Come and get me, Darling. My (noun) is your (noun).”
Love, (name).

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which cartoon did you love most when you were a kid? (A recent poll is topped by “Tom & Jerry”, ahead of “Scooby Doo”, “The Flintstones”, “Bugs Bunny”, and “Popeye”.)

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Coming up next, [jock], putting the ‘suck’ back in success.
• When gnats begin to hover above the sink, it’s probably time to do the dishes.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to psychologists, this is the #1 thing women are afraid of.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dead people.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love is when you adopt your partner’s enemies.


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