Friday, September 17, 2004        Edition: #2868
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the “Clean Air Concert” will be held at the Cowichan Centre in Duncan BC with Neil Young, Barenaked Ladies, Randy Bachman, Tal Bachman and ‘surprise artists’ (proceeds to help residents of the tiny Vancouver Island mill town fight emissions they believe are poisonous) . . . SUNDAY retired basketball superstar Michael Jordan guest stars on ABC-TV’s season premiere of “My Wife & Kids” (he must owe Damon Wayans a favor – bigtime!) . . . Ex-Mrs Mick Jagger. Jerry Hall, and their daughter Elizabeth Jagger are fans of the latest celebrity fad – ‘Feng Shui for Hair’ – a trim using the Chinese philosophy, commonly used to channel positive energy in rooms and buildings – which purportedly helps to rid you of negativity and sorrow (and about a hundred bucks)  . . . The new edition of “Us Weekly” has selected the ‘Young Hollywood Star of the Year’ and it is – drum roll please – huh, Paris Hilton? . . . Scuttlebutt from the set of Disney’s VW Bug comedy “Herbie: Fully Loaded” says that 18-year-old star Lindsay Lohan’s partying after each day’s shoot is causing problems (seems ‘Herbie’ ain’t the only one fully loaded) . . . Former Creed frontman Scott Stapp is being sued for 60-grand by a former business associate who claims to have paid for unorthodox drug detox treatments for the singer back in ‘02 (maybe we’re getting closer to understanding why the band split?) . . . The upcoming sorry-excuse-for-an-album “Songs & Artists That Inspired Fahrenheit 9/11″ will include tracks by the Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Steve Earle, John Fogerty, Pearl Jam and the Clash (filmmaker Michael Moore will be listed as ‘executive album producer’ – aka ‘chief pocket liner’).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – Reports that Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley proposed and Avril accepted have now officially been trashed. The current line coming from their reps is that this is a good illustration of how the media invades people’s personal lives and reports unsubstantiated rumors. It IS true the couple recently bought a house together in Santa Monica CA.
• Jennifer Hanson – SATURDAY country music’s “Beautiful Goodbye” singer will serve as a judge at the “Miss America Pageant” in Atlantic City NJ. Hanson competed in the pageant in 1994 as ‘Miss California’ and paid for her college tuition with her scholarship.
• Britney Spears – TODAY her hot new ad for ‘Curious’ perfume will be launched on the Internet. It co-stars fiancé Kevin Federline. The clip debuts on the newly-launched Elizabeth Arden Website for ‘Britney Spears Beauty’.
NET: http://www.elizabetharden.com/Britney/default.asp
• Tim McGraw – SUNDAY he hosts his 10th annual “Swampstock Celebrity Concert & Softball Challenge” at the Tim McGraw Sports Complex in Rayville LA. Among entertainers expected – Faith Hill (of course!), Martina McBride and Big & Rich. Proceeds go to Louisiana charities.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Mr 3000″ (PG-13 Comedy ): Bernie Mac plays an aging baseball star who finds out many years after retirement that 3 of his career base hits are disallowed, keeping him below the hallowed 3,000-hit mark, so he decides to go back to try and reach that milestone – at age 47.
Items from the film are being donated to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown NY.
• “Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow” (PG Sci-Fi Thriller): Set in 1930s NYC when an ace reporter (Gwyneth Paltrow) notices the world’s scientists are disappearing so she teams with a pair of adventurous pilots (Jude Law & Angelina Jolie) to thwart the plans of a madman bent on world domination.
• “Wimbledon” (PG-13 Romantic Comedy): A pro tennis player (Paul Bettany) has lost his ambition and has fallen in the rankings to #157, then he meets a young player on the women’s circuit (Kirsten Dunst) who helps him recapture his focus for Wimbledon. The lead roles were originally intended for Hugh Grant & Reese Witherspoon. Real-life tennis star Serena Williams turned down a role because she would have essentially been playing herself.
• “National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers” (PG-13 Comedy): Will Friedle & Chris Owen play a pair of losers who marry 2 elderly sisters, thinking they’ll inherit their fortune and Beverly Hills estate. Hijinks ensue.

PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS:
SUNDAY Gary Shandling hosts the 56th Annual Primetime Emmys on ABC-TV from LA’s Shrine Auditorium. A few highlights …
• The HBO miniseries “Angels in America” has a leading 21 nominations, followed by HBO’s “The Sopranos” with 20.
• Out of 433 nominations, cable TV channels accounted for more than half – 220.
• The big 4 broadcast networks put together had 173 nominations, while HBO had 124 by itself, most for any single network or cable channel.
• No more putting up with Joan & Melissa Rivers yakking about “Who are you wearing?”, it will be “The View” panel member Star Jones hosting “Live From the Red Carpet” with help from fashion expert Robert Verdi.

MATTEL MORPHS MOTORCAR:
Mattel Corp is all fired up about the toy designed by the winning team on the season premiere of NBC-TV’s “The Apprentice”. The prototype remote-control car that the apprentices called ‘Meta Morphor’ has been renamed ‘Morph Machines’. The real deal will be a slightly modified, somewhat sleeker version of the prototype on the show. ‘Morph Machines’ under the brand name Tyco will be in stores early NEXT YEAR for around $30.
– “USA Today”

JUST A SPOONFUL:
The World Health Organization recommends that no more than 10% of daily calories come from sugar. For most of us, that’s about 200 calories – or about 50 teaspoons! Now that sounds like loads, right? Yet many of us get double that, according to Dr Walter Willett of the Harvard School of Public Health. For example, a single 20-ounce serving of Coca-Cola contains – are you ready? – 16 teaspoons of sugar!
– “Boston Globe”

BLANKET HOGS COST US Zs:
Couples spend nearly a third of their lives sleeping together, or at least trying to. However, because each person has different sleep needs, preferences and problems, 1 in 4 adults reports that their bed partner’s sleeping habits interfere with their own sleep according to a recent Harris Interactive survey. Of these people, 47% say they lose at least 3 hours of sleep a week because of their significant other, and 25% lose 5 or more hours. (I got no probs with my bedmate … it’s this damn job!)
– WebMD

BS AMAZING FACT:
We spend an estimated $2.8 billion a year trying to relieve the symptoms of the common cold. (Most of them involve taking 2 capsules – then waiting 7 days.)

AND WE QUOTE:
“Anybody who thinks they could be replaced with a jumped-up laptop needs help with their self-image.”
– UK artificial intelligence researcher Steve Grand on people who actually believe real robots are anywhere close to being as advanced as what’s shown in movies.

THE BULL SHEET 09.17.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [59] Phil Jackson, Deer Lodge MT, (temporarily?) retired NBA coach (3 NBA Championships with LA Lakers, 6 championships with Chicago Bulls)/former NBA player (2 championships-NY Knicks)

1962 [42] Baz Luhrmann, Sydney AUS, movie director (“Moulin Rouge”, “Romeo & Juliet”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [71] Robert Blake (Michael James Vijencio Gubitosi), Nutley NJ, former TV actor (“Baretta” 1975-78) & movie actor (“In Cold Blood”) charged with 2001 murder of his wife (at this rate, he may die before he goes to trial!)
 
1961 [43] James Gandolfini, Westwood NJ, TV actor (3 Emmy Awards as ‘Tony Soprano Sr’ on “The Sopranos” since 1999)/movie actor (“The Mexican”, “A Civil Action”)

1971 [33] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Collateral”, “The Matrix 2 & 3)/Mrs Will Smith since 1997 (he’s 6’2″, she’s 5′)

1971 [33] Lance Armstrong, Dallas TX, cyclist with 6 consecutive Tour de France wins (1999-2004) after battling cancer/dating singer Sheryl Crow

1973 [31] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (‘Scott Summers/Cyclops’ in “X-Men 1 & 2″ and “X-3″ coming in 2006)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “American Citizenship Day” (aka “Constitution Day” and “I Am An American Day”) focussing on the rights and responsibilities of American citizens. The choice of September 17 for this observance commemorates the date in 1787 when the US Constitution was signed in Philadelphia and celebrates the oldest working constitution in the world. Originally designed to recognize those who became American citizens during the past year, it’s now observed to honor both native-born and naturalized foreign-born citizens in the United States.

TOMORROW “Farm Aid 2004″ comes to the Muckleshoot Indian Reservation in Auburn WA, near Seattle. It’s the farthest west the all-star concert has been staged in the charity’s 19-year history. Founders Willie Nelson, Neil Young & John Mellencamp will host the concert along with board member Dave Matthews. Other performers include Jerry Lee Lewis, Lucinda Williams, Steve Earle, and Trick Pony.
NET: http://www.farmaid.org

20 YEARS AGO  . . .
1984 Brian Mulroney is sworn in as Canada’s PM

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1999 [05] Celine Dion receives star on ‘Canada’s Walk of Fame’ in Toronto

1999 [05] Eminem’s mother files $10-million lawsuit against him, claiming he made defamatory remarks in several interviews (he retaliates with “Cleanin’ Out My Closet”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1920 [84] NFL 1st organized in Canton OH as 12 teams pay a fee of $100 each to obtain franchises (by contrast, the Houston Texans franchise cost $700 MILLION!)

1974 [30] 4 women swear oaths of allegiance to RCMP to become 1st female ‘Mounties’

1975 [29] 1st-ever ‘playing president’ of a sports franchise (Gordie Howe with the Houston Aeros of the World Hockey Association. Of course now, with Mario Lemieux, we have the 1st ‘playing owner’.)

COMING UP . . .
[Sat] National Play-Doh Day
[Sun] 24th Terry Fox Run (http://www.terryfoxrun.org)
[Sun] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Mon] International Student Day
[Tues] Miniature Golf Day
[Tues] UN International Day of Peace
[Tues] “Special Edition Star Wars Trilogy” released on DVD
[Wed] Ice Cream Cone 100th Anniversary
This Week Is . . . Financial Services Week
This Month Is . . . Menopause Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS BEAT THE TOASTER:

Before the toaster pops in 30 seconds (SFX), name 3 of each of the following –
• Breakfast drinks.
• Terms of endearment you call your lover.
• Countries that start with the letter ‘S’.
• Inappropriate things to wear to a wedding.
• Things that make your skin crawl.

BS CLASSIC TV TRIVIA:
• Who was the first couple to be shown in bed together on primetime television?
a. ‘Cliff & Clair Huxtable’ on “The Cosby Show”.
b. ‘Lucy & Desi Arnaz’ on “I Love Lucy”.
c. ‘Fred & Wilma Flintstone’ on “The Flintstones”. [CORRECT]

• In which TV series did 36 different cats play the role of ‘Fluffy’?
a. “Family Ties”
b. “Cheers”
c. “The Brady Bunch” [CORRECT]

• On “Gilligan’s Island”, what was the ‘Professor’s’ first name?
a. Roy [CORRECT]
b. Bartholomew
c. Phyllis

• What popular show was the first ‘spin-off’ in TV history?
a. “Laverne & Shirley”
b. “The Andy Griffith Show” [CORRECT, a spin-off of “The Danny Thomas Show”.]
c. “Joey”
– “Trivia World”, “Extra! Online”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What are the things you miss most about no longer being single?
• What’s the most unusual honeymoon you’ve heard of?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Wow, the coffee this morning is terrible! At least, the piece I had was.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 50% of dogs do THIS every day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Watch TV.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.


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