Tuesday, September 7, 2004        Edition: #2860
New & Improved BS – Now With a More Refreshing Aroma!

TACKY TABLOID BS:
• Responding to “Dateline NBC’s” report that he paid a $2-million settlement to a 2nd boy in 1990, Michael Jackson has now acknowledged that he’s made financial settlements with multiple children to avoid the public embarrassment of going to court.
– “E! Online”
• 26-year-old Ashton Kutcher may star opposite 46-year-old Sharon Stone in the sequel to “Basic Instinct”. He’s said to be in talks with producers to play a young doctor who is manipulated by Stone’s man-eating character ‘Catherine Tramell’.
– “Teen Hollywood”
• Ben Affleck has reportedly been dating actress Jennifer Garner for the past 2 months. They first met while working on the movie “Daredevil”, then recently met up again at a charity fundraiser and things quickly ‘escalated’.
– “News of the World”
• “Wicker Park” actor Josh Hartnett has a hot new romance with Quincy Jones’ actress-daughter Rashida Jones (“Little Black Book”), the ex-girlfriend of “Spider-Man” star Tobey Maguire. The duo have reportedly been dating about a month since a mutual pal set them up.
– “Daily Dish”
• Renee Zellweger is auctioning off the ‘fat clothes’ she wore after her infamous weight gain for her role in the “Bridget Jones’s Diary” sequel. She ballooned from size 6 to size 14 to play dumpy ‘Bridget’ in “The Edge Of Reason” and now that she’s shed the excess weight, she’s selling off all her plus-size gear from designer dresses to tailor-made jeans. The online sale will benefit children’s charities.
– World Entertainment News
• Meantime, movie pirates are reportedly offering $10 million for a perfect digital copy of “The Edge of Reason”, which co-stars Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. That’s led the studio to step up security around the film while it’s being edited in post-production. It opens in mid-NOVEMBER.
– “NY Post”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Her rooftop 23rd birthday party atop NYC’s Soho House Hotel was shut down by the police after a string of complaints from neighbors. Boyfriend Jay-Z reportedly blew a half-million bucks on the bash.
• Nelly – He’s part-owner of the new NBA team, the Charlotte Bobcats.
• REM – They’re among artists contributing tracks to the new charity compilation “Songs for Sudan”, which can be downbloaded online.
NET: http://www.bignoisemusic.com
• Sugar Ray – Singer Mark McGrath has signed on as permanent co-host of TV entertainment show “Extra” but will also continue working with the band, which has a greatest hits compilation in the works.
• Alicia  Keys – She’ll make her movie acting debut in the Halle Berry-produced biopic about Philippa Schuyler, a  classical piano prodigy who encountered racism during the ‘50s and ’60s. Like Schuyler, Keys’ mother is white and her father black.
• Hoobastank – TONIGHT they do “Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS-TV.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Ladykillers” (Crime Comedy – DVD): In this marginally successful Coen Bros remake of
the 1955 film starring Alec Guinness, Tom Hanks plays an eccentric Southern professor who poses with his inept crew as a band in order to rob a casino. DVD extras include a ‘Slap Reel’, a minute-and-a-half of actress Irma P Hall going at Marlon Wayans for his foul mouth.
• “Soul Plane” (Comedy – DVD): Things get wacky aboard the maiden flight of ‘NWA Airlines’, the first airline catering to the ‘urban traveler’. The tricked-out airliner features a dance club, a sassy security crew, sexy flight attendants, even a bathroom attendant. Kevin Hart stars alongside Method Man, DL Hughley, Snoop Dogg & Tom Arnold..
• “The Punisher” (Action Thriller – DVD): In this movie adaptation of the Marvel Comic, Tom Jane stars as undercover FBI agent ‘Frank Castle’, who’s on a mission to punish the murderers of his entire family. John Travolta co-stars as bad-guy crime boss ‘Howard Saint’. Both Vin Diesel & Hugh Jackman passed on the title role.
• “The United States of Leland” (Crime Drama – DVD): Cornwall ON-born Ryan Gosling plays a 15-year-old sent to a juvenile detention facility after committing a seemingly senseless murder. There he meets an aspiring writer and prison teacher (Don Cheadle) who wants to write his life story.

HOPE FOR THE HOMELY:
Researchers say that ugly individuals continue to survive because their offspring may be healthier. In experiments using guppy fish, scientists found that while most females mated with attractive males, some mated with uglier ones, possibly because they smelled that their immune systems were stronger. (Or it may just be that the females were approaching 35 and getting desperate?)
– The journal “Evolution”.

THE DRACULA DIET:
Russian scientists Ludmilla Antipova & Alexei Nikolaichik of Voronezh State Academy have figured out a way to make yummy treats out of – blood. They began experimenting with recipes a decade ago when they discovered a local meat-packer was discarding up to 7 tons of blood per day. Realizing they were sitting on a goldmine, they began turning the blood into a variety of products including chocolate cookie filling, a coffee substitute and yogurt drinks. They claim blood-based foods taste just as good as the real thing and are up to 5 times cheaper to  manufacture than dairy products. Blood contains virtually no fat and is loaded with iron and protein. (“C’mon kids, finish your snack before it scabs over!”)
– “Telegraph”

BROACHING THE SUBJECT:
Brooches are not just for grandma’s lapel anymore. Increasingly, celebrities are showing off brooches as glittery new accessories in creative new ways. Jennifer Lopez, for instance, arrived for an interview with “In Style” magazine wearing a gem-encrusted leopard brooch clasping her skirt. From sweater clasps to belt buckles, brooches are making a big splash with stars. (Coincidentally, female stars are showing off a new rash of piercings in unusual areas.)
– “USA Today”

JUST AS YOU THOUGHT – THE BOSS IS A PSYCHO:
New research shows that people with psychopathic tendencies who don’t turn violent often tend to rise to positions of power thanks to their ruthless, narcissistic personalities. Professor Robert Hare of the University of British Columbia says about 1 in a 100 people fall into the category of ‘corporate psychopaths’ who often succeed in management and finance. They’re not usually violent, but tend to be manipulative, arrogant, callous, impatient, impulsive, unreliable, and superficially charming – personality traits they share with those who end up as sadistic killers. (Or spouses.)
– “BBC World Edition”

A COMPUTER THAT READS YOUR MIND:
A team of researchers at Singapore’s Institute for Infocomm Research have developed a new brain-to-computer interface that keyboards by tapping your brain power. The mind-reader uses electronic headgear to interpret changes in the user’s eyes. With practice, a user can merely think about letters and the computer will print them on the screen. But don’t expect to be pondering your way through work anytime soon. The inventors say using the electronic gizmo for just 5 minutes can cause eyes to water and prolonged use can prove exhausting. (So much for hands-free computer solitaire.)
– “Straits Times”

REAL BUT PREPOSTEROUS PET PRODUCTS:
• ‘Doga’ – When a walk in the park just won’t do, ‘Doga’ (dog yoga) offers a means of instilling inner-calm to unruly pets. Animal therapist Dan Thomas claims that after just one ‘Doga’ class, your pooch’s breathing will be more in synch with your own. Especially popular in large urban centers, where stressed-out dogs and their owners can stretch together. (Then head back out to defecate on sidewalks.)
• ‘Petrefresh’ – Bottled water that’s ‘specially formulated’ for dogs, cats, rabbits, gerbils, iguanas, pot-bellied pigs and even fish. Sold in 2-liter bottles for $2.29, the ‘mountain-spring’ water is ‘processed using ultraviolet light and ozone’. (Odds are your pet is smarter than you – they’ll know it’s just tap water with a fancy label.)
• ‘Pet DNA’ – The Missing Pet Bureau offers a DNA identification kit that includes a swab for taking a sample from the inside of your dog’s cheek. It’s then wiped on an ID card to be stored by the bureau. (In case your Chihuahua is ever involved in serial crime.)
• ‘Doggles’ – Dog sunglasses that attach to your mutt with a rubber headband and are guaranteed to keep out 100% of UV light and ‘foreign objects’. (Such as the neighbor dog’s butt.)
• ‘Feline Evolution Catseat’ – This cat toilet seat sits atop a normal toilet seat so your puss’s ‘little messages’ can fall onto a tiny tray beneath. It’s inventor says the device eliminates cat odors and saves on litter costs while causing absolutely no health risk due to cats and humans sharing the same toilet. (But leaving absolutely no doubt over who didn’t flush the furball.)
– BBC News

FOR THE RECORD:
9-year-old Russian boy Pasha Guseinov has broken a world record by performing 9,263 push-ups in 6.5 hours. With only 5-minute hourly breaks to rest and use the washroom, he  managed to average 1,425 push-ups per hour.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Thanks to their kids going back to school, 27% of moms say they’ll get to work on time … if not early.
• 40% of women cry at least once a week. Nearly half of working women admit they’ve openly cried on the job. However, a tough-nosed 3% of women say they never cry at all.

AND WE QUOTE:
“There is f— all to do. It’s just a little town where everybody knows everybody and their business. There’s nothing to do except get drunk.” – Avril Lavigne trashing her hometown of Napanee, Ontario in “Blender” magazine.

THE BULL SHEET 09.07.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [59] Jacques Lemaire, LaSalle QC, NHL head coach (Minnesota Wild since 2000, 1995 Stanley Cup champion New Jersey Devils)/Hall of Fame NHL player (Montréal Canadiens)

1951 [53] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV actress (voice of ‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1961 [43] Leroi Moore,  Durham NC, rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“Crash Into Me”)

1973 [31] Shannon Elizabeth, Houston TX, movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation”, “American Pie 1 & 2″)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Take Another Look Day”, a day to survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity or reuse them in another project. In other words, dump some of your ‘stuff’!

TODAY is “Neither Rain Nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”. (Or is that ‘shooting off their rounds’?)

THIS WEEK is “National Emergency Preparedness Week”, a day to prepare for specific emergency situations at home, work, school, or when traveling. (… to Florida.)
NET: http://www.ready.gov

TODAY practice rounds get underway at the 100th “Canadian Open Golf Championship”at Glen Abbey Golf Club in Oakville ON.
PHONER: 905.849.9700 x 227 (Victor Cui-Director of Communications)
NET: http://www.e.bell.ca/cdnopen

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [25] ESPN debuts on cable TV (because we just weren’t seeing enough Australian Rules Football)

1986 [18] 1st edition of TV’s “The Oprah Winfrey Show” (the beginning of billionaire Oprah’s multimedia fortune)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984 [20] 1st ‘Platinum’ credit cards issued by American Express (because by then everybody has a ‘Gold’ card)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] International Literacy Day
[Thurs] Teddy Bear Day
[Thurs] 2004 NFL Season Kickoff Concert (Foxboro MA)
[Thurs-Sept 18] Toronto International Film Festival
[Fri] 1st Annual World Suicide Prevention Day
[Fri-Sept 13] Canadian Country Music Week (Edmonton)
[Sat] 9/11 Remembrance Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Fall Hat Week
Housekeepers Week
Child Injury Prevention Week
Full Employment Week
Financial Services Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:

Q: Out of every 10 children, how many sleepwalk?
A: About 1 in 10 kids experience sleepwalking. (Mostly on the way to school.) 

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Who was the smartest person in your class. What are they doing now?
• How many things in your kitchen can you play a tune with?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women are 4 times more likely than men to have problems with THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their feet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never let school interfere with your education.


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