Wednesday, September 01, 2004        Edition: #2857
Sheet For Brains!

TONIGHT CBS-TV airs the 5th annual “Latin Grammy Awards” from Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium with comedian George Lopez hosting, Black Eyed Peas among the presenters, and Jessica Simpson kicking off the show (so she’s a closet Latina or what?) . . .  Talk show billionaire Oprah Winfrey will receive the UN’s ‘Global Leadership Award’ SEPTEMBER 30th for her initiatives in education in South Africa . . . 18-year-old movie actress Lindsay Lohan had a close call on the set of “Herbie: Fully Loaded” (a remake about the VW Beetle with a mind of its own) when a huge billboard hanging by a chain swung towards her and only missed hitting her by inches (oh well, if at first you don’t succeed …) . . . Actor Matt LeBlanc had a close call when the rear tire on his Harley blew out and the bike swerved all over a freeway, but fortunately he was able to bring it safely to a stop (and unfortunately shooting on his upcoming lame sitcom “Joey” will continue) . . . Rev Stephen Somerville, who conducted daily mass in Latin with Mel Gibson acting as his altar server while “The Passion of the Christ” was being shot in Italy, has been suspended from the Catholic Archdiocese of Toronto for saying mass for the controversial Catholic splinter group ‘Society of St. Pius X’ (ah yes, another act of vengeance in the name of the father).

• 50 Cent – His performance rider runs a whopping 30 pages and includes “a dozen assorted cookies, 2 buckets of KFC, 6 corn on the cob, a case of beer, 2 gallons of milk, 4 gallons of juice, 12 fluffy bath towels and ‘immaculate’ washrooms.”
• The Killers – The Las Vegas band just finished taping an appearance for an upcoming episode of the hit FOX-TV series “The OC”, due to air in DECEMBER.
• Madonna – She’s reportedly finally smartened up and demanded a detailed account of how her financial donations to Kabbalah have been used since the start of her “re-Invention Tour”.
• Jem (Jemma Griffiths) – The  28-year-old Cardiff, Wales singer’s single “They” is about kids who aren’t allowed to play with the others. THIS SUMMER she’s been touring with the Dave Matthews Band.
• Dave Matthews Band – They’ve offered to provide DNA samples to help authorities get to the bottom of whether raw sewage from their tour bus was dumped into the Chicago River.
• Usher – TONIGHT he does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC-TV.
• Sting – He’s gone into the organics business, supplying a local grocer with chemical-free vegetables & fruit from his country estate in Wiltshire, England.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Wrist Cuffs’ – Terrycloth wristbands that serve no purpose other than being stylish. For a more urban look, some kids are chopping the tops of tube socks to form home-made cuffs.
• ‘Office Creepers’ – Daylight thieves who are usually neatly dressed and have the brass to walk right into workplaces during office hours looking for pricey laptops or handbags to boost.
• ‘Preso’ – Shorthand for ‘presentation’, usually done in PowerPoint.
• ‘Eye Jewelry’ – Tiny pieces of platinum or gold surgically implanted behind the clear skin in the white part of the eye. So far, only about 50 people worldwide have had the procedure, invented by a Dutch surgeon.

Trial results of a new ‘super pill’ known as ‘Rimonabant’ have found it lessens risk factors associated with the development of heart disease, strokes and diabetes, reason enough for it to be considered highly effective. But this pill does more! During a 2-year study, people taking 20 mg once a day were more successful at quitting smoking, had improved levels of so-called ‘good cholesterol’ or HDL, and – drum roll please – lost an average of 19lbs! (Unfortunately, side effects may include giddiness, headache, nausea, vomiting, sweating, thirst, palpitations, tremors, restlessness, insomnia and zits.)

How much money does it take to make us happy? A lot less than you might expect – just $40,000 US (circa $52,000 CDN) per year. Really. That’s the magic number according to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert. How’s that? The first $40,000 makes a big difference in one’s level of happiness but after that, the impact is much smaller. Then there’s the old aphorism that you have to spend money to make money – living a wealthier lifestyle will cost you. So if you’re working for the next big raise, forget it. You’re better to learn to appreciate what your have. No matter what size the pile of money, there’s always a way to see it as small. (Feel better? You’re welcome.)
– “O” magazine.

New research reveals that dark chocolate can reduce the risk of heart attack. A new study by Greece’s Athens Medical School suggests that consuming 100 grams of good quality dark chocolate improves the function of cells that line veins and arteries for up to 3 hours afterward. Researchers say chocolate’s healthful qualities may explain why cacao was viewed as magical and mystical in ancient cultures. (Either that or the effect it had on women.)
– “London Telegraph”

Veritas Software in California’s Silicon Valley has started something that may catch on – ‘No E-mail Fridays’. About 2 months ago, the company’s worldwide marketing boss decreed that Fridays in his department would be e-mail free. If employees need to get a message to someone, they must phone or speak in person. Why? Marketing VP Jeremy Burton says e-mail is supposed to be a productivity tool but has gotten way out of control. Now, at least for one day a week, employees must either phone or walk ‘n talk. Ironically, the new policy was outlined via  e-mail.
– “Wall Street Journal”

Researchers at Italy’s University of Florence have found that when children are deprived of TV, computers and video games, their ‘melatonin’ production increases by an average of 30%. Previous studies have shown that low melatonin levels promote an early onset of puberty.
This may help to explain why girls are now reaching puberty much earlier than in the 1950s. (Turn off the TV, it’ll give you cramps!)
– “New Scientist”

1. “Blade Runner”
2. “2001: A Space Odyssey”
3, “Star Wars”
4. “The Empire Strikes Back”
5. “Alien”
– Poll of 60 scientists by “The Guardian”.

• Actor Matt Damon’s uncle, 70-year-old former airline pilot George Brunstad, has become the ‘Oldest to Swim the English Channel’, making the crossing in a tad under 16 hours.
• Zvonko Mihajlovic of Nis, Serbia claims to have set a new world record for ‘Largest Birthday Cake’. His 122-meter-long (400-ft-long) cake weighs in at – whoa! – 1 tonne (2.2 tons)!

Average parents spend 26% less awake time with their spouses today than 30 years ago, now averaging just 9.2 hours together per week. (Is that a bad thing?)
– “Social Studies”


1939 [65] Lily Tomlin, Detroit MI, TV actress (President’s personal secretary ‘Deborah Fiderer’ on “The West Wing” since 2002)/movie actress (“Nine to Five”)/comedian (“Edith Ann: Homeless Go Home”)

1946 [58] Barry Gibb, Isle of Man UK, falsetto oldies singer (Bee Gees-“Stayin’ Alive”)

1950 [54] Dr Phil (McGraw), Vinita OK, daytime TV talk show host (“Dr Phil” since 2002)/author (“Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters”)  FACTOID: He’s only a ‘doctor’ due to a PhD in psychology.

1957 [47] Gloria Estefan (Fajardo), Havana CUB, pop singer (“Turn The Beat Around”)

TODAY at the Republican National Convention in NYC , women’s rights group ‘The Axis of Eve’ is planning to protest the policies of the Bush administration with a 10-minute mass – panty flash! More than 100 women are expected to drop trou and flash panties emblazoned with anti-Bush slogans such as ‘Cream Bush’, ‘Drill Bush, Not Oil’, and ‘Give Bush the Finger’. The group has demonstrated at political events before, but this will be their biggest butt-baring yet.

TODAY is “Emma M Nutt Day”, honoring the 1st professional telephone operator. She began saying ‘number please’ 126 years ago TODAY (1878) in Boston MA and continued for 33 years.

THIS WEEKEND Buffalo NY hosts the 3rd annual “National Buffalo Wing Festival”, featuring ‘The Running of the Chickens’, ‘Bobbing for Wings’, ‘Ms Buffalo Wing Pageant’ and, of course, the ‘Chicken Wing Eating Championship’, sanctioned by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. It’s expected some 400,000 chicken wings – 20 tons! — will be deep-fried, drenched in hot-sauce and served up.
THIS YEAR marks the 40th anniversary of the invention of Buffalo wings at Buffalo’s Anchor Bar (1964). So how’d that happen? And what’s the secret of making perfect wings?
PHONER: 716.886.8920/716.853.1791

1999 [05] Canadian ‘specialty’ cable channels debut including  ‘Star!’, ‘Canadian Learning Television’, ‘Report on Business Television’ and ‘Aboriginal Peoples Television Network’

2002 [02] Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar weds actor Freddie Prinze Jr

1995 [09] Cleveland’s ‘Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’ is dedicated

[Thurs] Internet 35th Anniversary
[Fri] Skyscraper Day
[Fri] “Paparazzi”, “The Cookout” & “Vanity Fair” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Newspaper Carriers Day
[Sun] Be Late For Something Day
[Sun] Working Mother’s Day
[Mon] Labor Day
[Mon-Sept 12] 100th Canadian Open Golf Championship week begins (Oakville ON)
This Week Is . . . International Enthusiasm Week
This Month Is . . . Library Card Sign-Up Month


• You’ve barbecued Spam … and actually bragged about it.
• On more than one occasion, the fire marshal has had to warn you about using liquid nitrogen as starter fluid.
• Your secret ingredient? Tequila. And sometimes you even put it in the food.
• The local health department has named a new strain of salmonella after you.
• Your ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron has been replaced by one that reads ‘Stop Me Before I BBQ Again!’
• After you’re done, the kids have trouble telling the hamburgers from the hot dogs.
• Just as the kebobs are ready, your spouse comes running onto the deck screaming, “Has anyone seen the cat?”

Contestants try to name these famous Dicks …
• His MTV show “The Assistant” is a spoof on reality TV, but he’s most famous for his outlandish behavior when ‘under the influence’. (Andy Dick)
• He’s a fictional character who breathed through a hole in his head. (‘Moby Dick’)
• He played ‘Bert’ in “Mary Poppins”, then had a long-running TV sitcom. (Dick Van Dyke)
• Even though he’s 74, he still spends every New Year’s Eve in Times Square. (Dick Clark)
• He was the US president nicknamed ‘Tricky Dick’. (Richard Nixon)
• He’s the comic book detective that Warren Beatty played in a 1990 movie. (‘Dick Tracy’)
• He works in the real “West Wing” even though he’s heart-troubled. (US VP Dick Cheney)
• It’s what you do on the weekend when you have nothing planned. (dick all)

Many preschools have a strict no-diaper rule. Aghh, pressure time! What’s the fastest and most effective methods of toilet training?

Today’s Question: Employee activity levels go up 8% when they do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wear jeans on ‘Casual Day’.

Work: A lifetime sentence for not being rich.

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