Thursday, September 19, 2002        Edition: #2381
Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

TONIGHT “Survivor: Thailand” premieres on Global-TV, the 5th series of the popular reality show, this time on the remote island of Koh Taratao off the southern coast of Thailand which is inhabited by poisonous snakes, wild buffalo, and the 16 new “Survivor” rookies ( . . . “Survivor” producer Mark Burnett says future instalments of the show may be open to Canadian contestants . . . Besides offering a big cash prize to the viewer who solves the mystery, the new ABC-TV drama series “Push, Nevada” (co-produced by Ben Affleck) has some other interesting twists – an authentic looking Website for the town’s newspaper ( and a Chamber of Commerce for Push with its own toll-free number (866-727-7874) . . . “American Idol” finalist Tamyra Gray is in talks to join the cast of FOX-TV’s “Boston Public” . . . Another reason for women to hate her – word has it actress Liz Hurley has lost 53 POUNDS in just 12 weeks since giving birth to her baby boy Damien! . . . “The Sopranos” opener was the first cable-only show ever to score higher ratings than its broadcast TV competition.

“Austin Powers” director Jay Roach will make a movie adaptation of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” from a script drafted by the book’s author Douglas Adams before his death LAST YEAR . . . A movie version of the vintage TV cop show “SWAT” is in the works, to star LL Cool J, Samuel L Jackson & Michelle Rodriguez . . . “Will & Grace” star Debra Messing is set to hit the bigscreen alongside Ben Stiller in an as-yet-untitled romantic comedy (how about ‘Ben & Debra’?) . . . Brad Pitt will play the mythical Greek hero ‘Achilles’ in a new film about the Trojan war simply called “Troy” . . . McG, who is currently directing “Charlie’s Angels 2″, says a new “Superman” film will be his next project and it will focus on the character’s origins from day 1 on ‘Krypton’ . . . And Quentin Tarantino’s brutal crime thriller “Reservoir Dogs” has received a Bollywood makeover and will be released in India NEXT WEEK – as a musical called “Kaante” – complete with singing and fancy footwork by 6 Indian actors (singalong everyone – “I hate you Mr Cop, let me slice off your left ear….”).

One of the long standing jokes about doctors is that their handwriting is always bad, often so bad that you can’t read a prescription. Well, it’s true! A new computer research program has shown that physician’s writing is genuinely much worse than other professionals. Even when doctors in a study were asked to write as neatly as possible, their handwriting was judged to be unusually poor. One researcher suggests that it may be because doctors spent a great deal of time in lectures frantically scribbling down notes during their training.

New figures from StatsCan show the number of Canadians living on their own has more than quadrupled in the past 50 years to just over 12%. An analyst says we’re spending more time alone doing our work, household chores and leisure activities. That’s not necessarily good – the study also finds that people who spend a lot of time by themselves are less likely to be very happy than those who spend little time alone.

Laguna Beach High School in California has renamed its athletic teams the ‘Breakers’, mothballing the old name – the ‘Artists’. Seems in the rough-and-tumble world of high school sports dominated by the Fighting Lions, Trojans and Rebels, the Artists were less than fearsome. The school adopted the nickname the Artists back in 1936 because the area was still a sleepy arts colony. (What’s the dumbest team name you’ve heard?)

A Scottish chemistry prof believes she’s discovered the scientific reason why cold, leftover pizza tastes so good the morning after. Stirling University’s Dr Maureen Cooper says traditional pizza sauce has fibers which prevent water from seeping into the crust and making it soggy. And given the fact that fat and water don’t mix, the melted cheese topping then sits nicely above the sauce, giving cold pizza its unique flavor.

The deal to put a pop star in space fizzled when ‘N Sync’s Lance Bass came up a little short in the cash department, so now the money-grubbing Russian Space Agency is considering working with Pepsi on a new TV space game show. The winner would be flown to the International Space Station on a Russian Soyuz rocket. The agency previously worked with Pepsi in 1996 when 2 cosmonauts inflated a huge Pepsi can and unfurled a banner outside the Mir space station.

Forget expensive perfumes, what really turns women on is licorice and cucumber. Not far behind come baby powder, lavender and pumpkin pie. This is all according to aroma researcher Dr Alan Hirsch in Chicago who says that these scents turn women on a lot more than Armani-type colognes and aftershaves that men usually apply. (So for a perfect date guys, forget about Axe and go for the essence of licorice with a little pumpkin pie behind the ears.)

“What is the most extreme thing you’ve done to your hair to make yourself more attractive to opposite sex?”
• Highlighted (24% of women, 9% of men)
• Permed (20% of women, 5% of men)
• Grew long (7% of women, 20% of men)
• Cut Short (5% of women, 19% of men)
• Ponytail (0% of women think that’s ‘extreme’, 8% of men)
• Curled (0% of women, 4% of men)
Source: “Glamour” magazine

MuchMusic has made the “Guinness Book of World Records” for the shortest TV spots – a series of on-air station promos called ‘Quickies’. Each of the 12 spots is just 1/60th of a second, or about half a frame of videotape. (Please don’t let our sales department hear about this!)

The percentage of people who SAY they are allergic to some kind of food is 25%. The percentage who actually ARE – just 2%! (Hey, any excuse to avoid the broccoli.)


1924 [78] Don Harron, Toronto ON, TV actor (‘Charlie Farquharson’)/playwright (“Anne of Green Gables”)

1948 [54] Jeremy Irons, Cowes ENG, film actor (“Die Hard: With a Vengeance”, Academy Award-“Reversal of Fortune”)

1951 [51] Daniel Lanois, Hull [now Gatineau] QC, music producer (U2, Peter Gabriel)/rock singer-songwriter (“Sling Blade” soundtrack, “The Maker”)

1964 [38] Trisha Yearwood, Monticello GA, country star (“Inside Out”, “I Would’ve Loved You Anyway”)/Garth Brooks’ girlfriend

1974 [28] Jimmy Fallon, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (“Saturday Night Live”, “2002 MTV Video Music Awards” host, “Band of Brothers”)/movie actor (“Almost Famous”)  UP NEXT: the Wood Allen comedy “Anything Else, due in MAY 2003

TODAY is “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, as decided by some weirdo somewhere. Sure sounds like a fun radio contest though!

TODAY is “Evaluate Your Life Day”. (Followed by ‘Drink Till You Forget What a Loser You Are Night’.)

THIS WEEK is “National Dog Week”. A study shows that men who are crazy about dogs make better fathers. The research shows that dog lovers exhibit more love for their children and spend more time with them. Another study (from a pet food company, of course) suggests that married couples who own pets are happier, have closer relationships, have lower blood pressure and experience less stress than those who don’t. WRONG!!!???? NEXT WEEK.

1649 [353] 1st tavern in Canada opens in Québec City, featuring a powerful brew called ‘spruce beer’ (customers who drink too much are said to be ‘all spruced up’)

1932 [70] 1st ‘sound cartoon’ premieres (Mickey Mouse in “Steamboat Willie”)

1994 [08] 1st episode of “ER” on NBC

[Fri] Sukkot begins at sundown
[Sat] Miniature Golf Day
[Sun] 54th Primetime Emmy Awards
[Mon] Autumn begins (12:55 am EDT)
This Week is – Balance Awareness Week (whoaaaa, hang on!!!)
This Month is – Honey Month / Children’s Eye Health & Safety Month

THIS WEEK is “National Chiropractic Week”.

• A sign in the waiting room says there’s a 2-drink minimum.
• You walk away from an appointment making a weird accordion sound.
• You’re fully-clothed, but he’s naked!
• You keep hearing crunching sounds followed by “Uh-oh!”
• At end of your appointment, lies down on the table and says, “Okay, my turn!”

• Aries – Today your name could become a household word – but only if you change it to ‘Ozzy’.
• Taurus – You will find that it is true – everything is better with the addition of either chocolate or garlic. Well, except for running shoes.
• Gemini – You will find yourself humming along with Muzak in the grocery store. It’s the beginning of the long slow slide. Next stop – collecting knickknacks.
• Cancer – You will be afire with enthusiasm today! Unfortunately, someone will put you out.
• Leo – Not a good time to discuss sauerkraut. At least not if you value your friendships and your sanity.
• Virgo – Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure!
• Libra – It’s time to stop beating around the bush. Move on to beating around the ornamental shrubbery.
• Scorpio – Your manager will be a twit today. That’s ok though – it’s what she’s paid for.
• Sagittarius – You’ve about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun?
• Capricorn – Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes DO TOO mix.
• Aquarius – While looking through comparative salary figures, who will discover that the job of ‘Villiage Idiot’ in many metropolitan areas pays better than that of radio personality.
• Pisces – Today you will see a free-floating vaporous apparition! It’ll turn out that your glasses are just smudged.

Q: Montréal had the very 1st club of this kind in North America.
a) Lacrosse
b) Baseball
c) Curling
A: Curling.

Q: This cheese is made by Trappist Monks in Québec.
a) Gouda
b) Okra
c) Gorgonzola
A: Okra.

Q: Guelph ON native Thomas Ryan invented this popular pastime that is common only in Canada.
a) 5-pin bowling.
b) Road hockey.
c) Table shuffleboard.
A: 5-pin bowling.

Q: In what country were neck ties first worn?
a) Cameroon
b) China
c) Croatia
A: Neck ties were first fashionable in Croatia.

Q: What’s the most common way to order coffee?
a) Black
b) With cream.
c) With cream and sugar.
A: A coffee industry poll shows 37% of us drink our java with cream and sugar (the reason it’s called ‘regular’), 33% with just cream, 21% black, and 8% prefer just sugar.

Q: Name the only US state and its capital that do not share any of the same letters in their names.
A: Pierre, South Dakota.

Q: What common objects seen throughout America are now painted ‘chrome yellow’ that used to be painted ‘Omaha orange’?
A: School buses.

Q: Which is the only US state that begins with ‘a’ but does not end with ‘a’?
A: Arkansas.
Source for all: Land O’ Useless Facts

• “If you were the opposite sex, what job would you like to have?”
• “How do you get out of a date if it’s going badly?”
• “What was the most useless piece of advice your parents ever gave you?”

Today’s Question: Average kids go through about 7 lbs of these by the time they reach Grade 5.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Crayons.

If work was good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.

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