Monday, September 9, 2002                   Edition: #2373
Some Jocks Wait a Lifetime….For a Prep Sheet Like This!

WEIRDEST TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Shocking New Fetish – Boogers Turn Her On!”
• “Bill Clinton Offered Job as Pro Wrestler!”
• “Ugly Nurses! What Ever Happened to the Gorgeous Angels of Mercy?”
• “Bored Man Teaches Pet Cockroaches to Tap Dance!”
• “Church Worships the Brady Bunch as Gods!”
Source: “Weekly World News”

OTHER TABLOID BS:
• They keep insisting they aren’t in a relationship, but “Mirror” claims that when Enrique Iglesias performed at the NFL super gala in New York’s Times Square, for once his ‘secret girlfriend’ Anna Kournakova also showed up in public. In fact, the snarky tab claims, she followed him around like a lost puppy in the VIP area just hours before the gig and when he zipped into the men’s room, she followed along and waited outside. (As well as ‘sit’, he’s also trained her to ‘roll over’.)
• UK’s “Sun” tabloid reports that P Diddy has been unceremoniously dumped by his record company BMG/Arista. He’s sold some 100 million CDs worldwide. He’s also signed 25 bands to his Bad Boy label – but all of them have flopped. The big problem – while he’s never been able to match the success of his early work, he’s become increasingly expensive, with lavish demands, huge entourages and expensive videos. (He’s changing his name again – to ‘Do Diddly’.)
• “Star” magazine says actress Alex Kingston has come down with an old-fashioned case of head lice, sending her “ER” co-stars into a frenzied panic. Seems she showed up on the set
unaware that she had lice, but when the makeup artist started doing her hair, she noticed little white lice eggs attached to hair strands. Hey, good thing it’s “ER”! (NOTE: Contrary to what most people think, head lice are NOT caused by poor hygiene. In fact, someone who shampoos their hair meticulously every day can get them as they are passed from person-to-person. Numerous Websites offer legitimate facts and usable solutions to the problem.)
• Gay actor Rupert Everett seems eager to re-establish his heterosexual acting credentials when he plays opposite Sharon Stone in the upcoming film “A Different Loyalty”. He tells “Express”, “I’ll be extremely heterosexual with Sharon and I’m looking forward to being straight.” (Hope his acting’s improved recently.)
• “NY Post” says the new “Harry Potter Nimbus 2000″ toy broom from Mattel has a vibrating feature that has perhaps become ‘too popular’ with teenage and pre-teen girls. The plastic battery-powered replica of the broom used in the movie’s ’Quidditch’ matches is touted for its ‘grooved stick and handle for easy riding’. Several parents have complained, one saying her daughter will only be allowed to play with it – with the batteries removed.
• According to “PeopleNews”, the latest genius idea for a TV reality program is “Celebrity Boot Camp” which will feature ‘80s singer Tiffany, former rapper (and fireman) Coolio, and singer/actress Vitamin C. Wow, a veritable who’s-who of Hollywood!
• She’s got movies and music and a clothing line and now “Sun” says Jennifer Lopez’s next revenue stream will be sunglasses. She’s reportedly signed a multi-million deal with Outlook Eyewear, which will make the $50 shades.
• “E! Online” notes that retiring US Senator Fred Thompson is returning to acting THIS FALL, replacing Dianne Wiest as the District Attorney on NBC-TV’s long-running “Law & Order”. He’ll
become the first member of Congress – likely the first person in government – to appear as a TV show regular while still in office. (Well, except for Martin Sheen.)
• And PageSix.com reports that 6-foot-4, 235-lb NY Yankee (and former Toronto Blue Jay) pitcher David Wells was attacked in an Upper East Side diner in NYC SATURDAY – by a pesky little 5-foot-6 drunk. Wells was reportedly celebrating his 16th win of the season when he was felled by a sucker punch from Rocco Graziosa after he taunted Wells about his mother. The battle has left ‘Boomer’ short 2 teeth and sporting a lump on his forehead. (Those Yankee fans aren’t satisfied with just a hug.)

HAVE A NICE DAY:
Guess what? Research shows that MONDAY morning at 9 o’clock is when men are most likely to have a heart attack. Mondays may be the riskiest because of pre-work stress and the sleep-interrupting effects of too much alcohol and/or smoking over the weekend. An Australian doctor believes the morning peak may also be linked to strain on the heart from snoring and sleep apnea. 1 in 5 men aged 30-60 suffer from sleep apnea, in which breathing stops for several seconds at a time. In general, stats show men are 3 times more likely to have a heart attack at 9am than at 11pm on any given day. (That’s it – I’m not coming in on Monday ever again!)

THE AUTUMN OF LIFE:
Austrian scientist Gabriele Doblhammer says that people born in Autumn live longer than those born in Spring and are less likely to become chronically ill when they are older. Research shows that seasonal differences in what mothers eat during pregnancy and infections occurring at different times of the year could both have an impact on the health of a newborn and influence its life expectancy.

9/11 REMEMBRANCE:
TONIGHT NBC-TV news anchor Tom Brokaw hosts a concert to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11. “The Concert for America” features First Lady Laura Bush, the National Symphony Orchestra and several guest stars at Washington’s Kennedy Center. It will be televised as part of NBC’s day-long “America Remembers” on WEDNESDAY. A raft of TV remembrances are scheduled. What should radio do, if anything? Hopefully, whatever you air is brief, tasteful and not maudlin. We heard 30-second radio ‘Salutes to Our Heroes’ the police and firefighters a few days after the 9/11 attacks – which were SOLD to sponsors! On a Canadian station! Tacky tacky.

LOOK BAD, SMELL GOOD:
According to a recent research study from Vienna, Austria, ugly men actually smell more attractive to women than handsome hotties. (So the next time a woman says that you smell nice, take it as an insult!)

MEET MY PAL ‘INKY’:
The blue-ring octopus, one of the world’s deadliest animals, has become a popular pet in Bangkok. The bite of the blue-ring can kill an adult in a minute as there is no known antidote. But traders say it’s one of Thailand’s most sought-after pets, selling for around $21. The blue rings on its body glow an electric blue when the animal feels threatened. Buyers are attracted by the bright colors and the creature’s ability to change shades to blend into the surroundings. Marine biologists warn that the octopus needs very careful handling. (When’s ‘Mother-in-Law’s Day’ again?)

STRESS BUSTERS:
A poll asks “What methods do you use to cope when you feel upset and worried?”
• 64% – distract myself with other activities
• 56% – try to solve the situation that is causing my anxiety
• 53% – listen to music
• 50% – sleep
Source: Survey.net

THE BULL SHEET 09.09.2K2

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [51] Michael Keaton (Douglas), Coraopolis PA, movie actor (“Batman”, “Jackie Brown”, “Jack Frost”) who was king of the box office in the late ‘80s. What happened?

1952 [50] Dave Stewart, Sunderland ENG, classic rock musician/producer (Eurythmics-“Here Comes the Rain Again”)

1960 [42] Hugh Grant, London ENG, film actor (“Bridget Jones’s Diary”, “Notting Hill”, “Four Weddings & a Funeral”)/Elizabeth Hurley’s buddy  UP NEXT: Co-stars with Sandra Bullock in the romantic comedy “Two Weeks Notice”, opening DECEMBER 22

1966 [36] Adam Sandler, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Mr Deeds”, “Big Daddy”, “The Waterboy”)  NEXT MOVIE: He’s getting $25 million against 25% of the gross to make the comedy “Anger Management”, in which he co-stars with Jack Nicholson

1972 [30] Goran Visnjic, Sibenik, Croatia, TV actor (Dr Luka Kovac-”ER”)

1980 [22] Michelle Williams, Kalispell MT, TV actress (Jennifer Lindley-“Dawson’s Creek” since 1998)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TONIGHT they hand out the hardware at the annual “Canadian Country Music Awards” in Calgary with hometown country star Paul Brandt hosting for the 3rd time. Some highlights –
• Singer Anne Murray, who’s sold over 40 million albums worldwide, and late recording exec/producer Art Snider will be inducted into the Canadian Country Music Hall of Fame.
• Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Terri Clark, Paul Brandt, and Emerson Drive lead nominations with 5 apiece. Hey, they’re all from Alberta! Conspiracy?
• Performances include Kenny Rogers, Diamond Rio, and Keith Urban.
• Last year’s awards took place the night before 9/11 and a benefit concert by country stars stranded in Calgary that raised $75,000 is nominated as ‘Country Event of the Year’.
NET: http://www.ccma.org/ccmatoday/cmw/index.htm

TODAY is “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal. Celebrations are already kicking off for the 100th birthday of Theodore Roosevelt’s teddy bear, the popular stuffed animal inspired by the helpless bear the US President refused to shoot on November 14, 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the first ‘teddy bear’ in the USA shortly after that incident. But it may be that renowned German toy-maker Steiff was already making bears by then.
NET: http://www.teddy-bear-uk.com/learning/name.htm
NET: http://familyscreenscene.allinfoabout.com/features/teddy.html

TODAY is “National Employee/Boss Exchange Day”, designed to help bosses and employees appreciate each other by exchanging points of view. (“Boss, from my point of view I deserve a raise.” “Well, that’s interesting because the view from over here says you’re fired.”)

TODAY is “Aunts Day”, a day of recognition for ‘those special women in our lives who provide guidance and humor’. (Famous aunts include – ‘Auntie Em’ in the “Wizard of Oz”, ‘Aunt Bee’ on “Mayberry RFD”, and ‘Auntie Establishment’.)

TONIGHT “Monday Night Football” returns to ABC-TV featuring new broadcast booth partners Al Michaels & John Madden calling the game between the defending Super Bowl champion New England Patriots & the Pittsburgh Steelers. Hank Williams Jr has recorded his 16th season of “Monday Night Football” opening themes, each game getting it’s own lyrics to the tune of his 1984 hit “All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight”.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1884 [118] 1st ‘hot dog’ created by Antoine Feuchtwanger

1904 [98] 1st reference to NYC ball club as the ‘Yankees’ (“Boston Herald”)

1950 [52] 1st ‘laugh track’ on TV (“The Hank McCune Show”)

1984 [18] 1st pontiff to tour Canada (Pope John Paul II)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Swap Ideas Day
[Wed] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Wed] No News is Good News Day
[Thurs] Video Game Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] Defy Superstition Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
National 5-A-Day Week (referring to fruits & vegetables NOT beers)
Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week
International Housekeepers Week (be sure to give your servants a day off)
National Rehabilitation Week
International Children’s Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:

• Indubitably
• Innovative
• Preliminary
• Proliferation
• Cinnamon
BS THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
• Specificity
• Cogito ergo sum
• Passive-aggressive disorder
• Loquacious
• Transubstantiate
BS THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
• “Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.“
• “Nope, no more booze for me!“
• “Sorry, but you’re not really my type.“
• “Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?“
• “Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing!“

FACT OR BS?
• Human skin is technically considered an organ. (True)
• Crickets hear through their knees. (True)
• John Lennon’s middle name was Archibald. (BS. Winston)
• A cat has four rows of whiskers. (True)
• A baby oyster is called a ‘googoo’. (BS. A ‘spat’.)
• Many sailors used to wear gold earrings so that they could afford a proper burial when they died. (True)
• A coat hanger measures 36 inches long if straightened. (BS. 44 inches.)
• ‘Paparazzi’ is the Italian word for ‘mosquito’. (True – as in ‘pest’.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 10% of people surveyed say this happened to them on their first date.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Mom or dad drove them.

BS DEEP THOUGHTS:
• Budget – A way to go broke methodically.
• Married men live longer than single men – but married men are a lot more willing to die.

HOWDY!
Welcome to our newest “BS” subscriber Doug Thomson @ CHBE Victoria BC, and this week’s samplers that include Catherine Harris @ WSWR Shelby OH, Todd Fooks @ WARQ Columbia SC, Ryan Cota @ KRQQ Tucson AZ, and Marcus Cole @ WYRY Winchester NH. You can subscribe to “BS” simply by clicking the link at the top of the page.


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