Friday, September 14, 2018 Edition: #6293
Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jennifer Lawrence admits she secretly uses social media now, after criticizing it for many years. Lawrence says, yes, she is actually active on social media but only as a ‘voyeur.’ In a recent interview, JLaw said that “I watch, I don’t speak”. As for posting, she made it very clear that the only time she is willing to do that is if she’s “promoting something or something really burns my onions.”
(Like celebs who only use social media to endorse something?)
★ Warner Bros. released a statement following a Wednesday report that Henry Cavill will not be reprising his Superman role, saying: “While no decisions have been made regarding any upcoming Superman films, we’ve always had great respect for and a great relationship with Henry Cavill, and that remains unchanged.” The report indicated that Cavill was leaving the cape behind after negotiations for a cameo in April’s “Shazam!” movie broke down due to scheduling conflicts, which happened prior to his commitment to the Netflix series “The Witcher”. Cavill’s manager, Dany Garcia, gave a slightly more hopeful message via Twitter, writing: “Be peaceful, the cape is still in his closet.” Meanwhile, fans have already started an online campaign to have him join the Marvel Universe.
★ Sarah Jessica Parker is being accused of borrowing $150,000 in jewels for a photo shoot but never returning them – over two years ago. Kat Florence Design — which is currently involved in a multi-million-dollar legal battle with the “Sex and the City” star — is seeking an additional $150k in damages for the loss of value over jewelry they loaned to Parker for a March 2016 photo shoot.
★ Matthew McConaughey knows how to spin a yarn. As part of a ‘True Confessions’ game with Jimmy Fallon on “The Tonight Show”, McConaughey recalled saving his infant son from a mountain ram by tossing him off a ledge to his wife Camila Alves. The couple had taken their then six-month-old son on vacation to the Grand Canyon in Arizona, but their family day out was interrupted by an angry male sheep. McConaughey said that he later realized the terrifying incident happened because he had come between the ram and his herd of ewes.
★ A letter written by Madonna in 1994 about her infamous interview with David Letterman is up for sale. Madonna made censorship history when she said the f-word 13 times in an awkward chat on “The Late Show” and a note she wrote shortly after about the ”sexist” reaction to the discussion is going under the hammer and is expected to fetch up to $3,000.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Paul McCartney, Kendall Jenner (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anna Kendrick, Judy Greer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris Cuomo, Jerrod Carmichael, Ruston Kelly, Allison Miller, Pearl Aday (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Keanu Reeves, Peter Stormare, LANY (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Moore
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ashlee Simpson-Ross, Evan Ross
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, Henry Golding
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Colin Jost, Michael Che
• “Sunday’s Best: Celebrating 40 Years of CBS Sunday Morning” (CBS): Jane Pauley anchors this celebration of “CBS Sunday Morning,” including its best original reports on the arts, humanities, entertainment, music and more.
• “Amy Schumer Presents Sam Morril” (COMEDY): Sam Morril: Positive Influence
• “Creative Arts Emmy Awards” (FXX): Recognizing technical achievements on TV plus acting, hosting and top program honors of 2017-2018 season.
• “Love in Design” (HALLMARK): Hannah is sent to her small New England hometown to renovate the Lewisburg Manor following the need of a shakeup on her home-makeover TV show. Her old flame Jeff is assigned to make sure Hannah’s design preserves the historical manor.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Mariah Huq, Vivica A. Fox
• “No One Would Tell” (LIFETIME): Laura Collins, a single mom to daughter Sarah, begins dating the popular Rob Tennison, and she is thrilled. However, when it becomes increasingly clear that Rob has a darker, possessive side, Laura lives in a state of denial.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B – She and Drake lead the nominations for the American Music Awards with eight nods apiece. Ed Sheeran has six. The 2018 AMAs will be hosted by Tracee Ellis Ross from the Microsoft Theatre in Los Angeles on October 9.
• Nicki Minaj — can dodge a shoe and host a weekly radio show, but when it comes to honoring a pledge to help a struggling actor — so far, nothing. Last week she said she was sending Geoffrey Owens — the “Cosby Show” star who took a gig at Trader Joe’s — $25,000 to help him out. Word is that Minaj and her team have yet to contact Owens, much less hand over the cash.
• Three Days Grace — has made history with the song ‘Infra-Red’, their 14th #1 single on Billboard’s Mainstream Rock Songs Chart. That tops Van Halen’s two-decade old record for most rock #1s. Three Days Grace has over a billion streams on Spotify.
• Hedley — The case of frontman Jacob Hoggard, who faces three sex-related charges, was put over to next month after a brief hearing in Toronto on Wednesday. Hoggard has denied ever engaging in non-consensual sexual behaviour, but has said he behaved in a way that objectifies women.
• Ozzy Osbourne — says he didn’t enjoy his reunion with Black Sabbath, which culminated in a farewell show in Feb. 2017. Ozzy says that he “spent nine or 10 years in Sabbath, but I’d been away from them for over 30 years. With them, I’m just a singer. . .I was getting bad vibes from them for being Ozzy.”
• David Bowie — An audition tape by his first band The Konrads from 1963 went up for auction this week. Bowie’s first known studio recording fetched nearly four times what was estimated, selling for nearly $53,000USD. The demo tape was of a teenage Bowie singing ‘I Never Dreamed’.
• Miranda Lambert – will be among the female country artists honored on the CMT Artist of the Year show, which is for women only this year. CMT says by dedicating the whole show to women, they hope to spark a “much-needed change in the industry”. Carrie Underwood, Kelsea Ballerini, Maren Morris, Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum and Little Big Town’s Karen Fairchild and Kimberly Schlapman will also be honored on the show, which airs Oct. 17.
• Jason Aldean – had to cancel last night’s show in Cincinnati because of flooding. Heavy rains had caused the Ohio River to flood, and the venue, Riverbend Music Center (as you can imagine) is next to the river. The show won’t be rescheduled.
• Kane Brown – scored the most American Music Awards among country artists with three. This year’s nominations are based on key fan interactions, including album and digital song sales, radio airplay, streaming, social activity and touring. Thomas Rhett, Maren Morris, Florida Georgia Line, and Dan + Shay all scored two noms. The 2018 show goes live from the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles on Oct. 9.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Predator” (R-Rated, Action/Horror): When a young boy accidentally triggers the universe’s most lethal hunters’ return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled science teacher can prevent the end of the human race. (Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes)
• “A Simple Favour” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense): Stephanie is a mommy blogger who seeks to uncover the truth behind her best friend Emily’s sudden disappearance from their small town. (Anna Kendrick, Blake Lively)
• “White Boy Rick” (R-Rated, Drama): The story of teenager Richard Wershe Jr., who became an undercover informant for the FBI during the 1980s and was ultimately arrested for drug-trafficking and sentenced to life in prison. (Matthew McConaughey, Richie Merritt)
• “Unbroken: Path to Redemption” (PG-13, Drama): Based on Laura Hillenbrand’s bestselling book, it begins where the novel ends, sharing the next chapter of Olympian and World War II hero Louis Zamperini’s powerful true story of forgiveness, redemption, and amazing grace. (Samuel Hunt, Merritt Patterson)
• “Lizzie” (R-Rated, Drama): A psychological thriller based on the infamous 1892 murders of the Borden family. (Kristen Stewart, Chloë Sevigny)
• “The Children Act” (R-Rated, Drama): As her marriage crumbles, a judge must decide a case involving a teenage boy who is refusing a blood transfusion on religious principle. (Emma Thompson, Stanley Tucci)
GOOD WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT:
Got any plans next month? If they mostly involve binging on popcorn and TV, then you might as well make some money while you’re there on the couch. HowToWatch.com is looking to pay someone $2000 to watch 100 hours of streaming television during October. As the website’s professional binge-watcher, you will be responsible for judging the quality of seven major streaming platforms—including Hulu with Live TV, PlayStation Vue, and YouTube TV. You’ll need to watch roughly 14 hours of programming from each service, and everything you tune in to needs to be live — no “Friends” reruns. And you won’t get away with playing the TV in the background while you cook or browse your phone — The quality of each service must be assessed on a score card. You will also be expected to post on social media. Qualifications? They are looking someone with a strong social media presence, the ability to recognize the difference between a high-quality and low-quality stream, and a passion for television. The successful candidate must complete their 100 hours of streaming by November 1.
Apply here: https://www.howtowatch.com/contests/dream-job/
(Like that’ll be a problem!)
(But then what will I do when I’m not working?)
(Can I watch re-runs on my lunch?)
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
► The novelist who wrote ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ has been charged — with murdering her husband. Portland, Oregon-based romance Nancy Crampton Brophy authored books about relationships that were “wrong” but “never felt so right,” and in one book, wrote of a woman who “spent every day of her marriage fantasizing about killing her husband.” And in an essay called ‘How to Murder Your Husband’, she wrote about how to get away with it. She advised against hiring a hit-man — “an amazing number of hit men rat you out to the police” — and against hiring a lover. “Never a good idea.” Poison? Not advised either. “Who wants to hang out with a sick husband?” The 68-year-old was arrested on charges of murdering her husband with a gun and unlawful use of a weapon in the death Daniel Brophy.
(Talk about doing things ‘by the book’!)
► An Ohio grocery store employee has been charged with felony theft for helping herself to almost $10,000 worth of ham over the years. Police say that an eight-year employee of the Bolivar Giant Eagle supermarket south of Cleveland was charged with stealing food estimated by the store to be worth $9,200. The store’s loss prevention manager received a tip that an employee had been eating three to five slices of ham nearly every day over eight years. Authorities say she also sometimes ate salami.
BS CHRONOMETER 09.14.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947  (Nigel) Sam Neill, Omagh, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Jurassic Park”, “The Piano”)/TV actor (“Crusoe” 2008-10, “The Tudors” 2007-08)
1958  Terry Dubrow, Los Angeles CA, Doctor (co-host of “Botched” since 2014)
1973  Andrew Lincoln, London England, TV actor (‘Rick Grimes’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2010)
1999  Emma Kenney, Manhattan NY, TV actress (‘Debbie’ on the American “Shameless” since 2011)
Movie director Oliver Stone (“Platoon”) is 72; Movie actor Tommy Lee Jones (“No Country for Old Men”) is 72; Movie actor Tom Hardy (“Mad Max”) is 41; Prince Harry is 34
Movie actor Mickey Rourke (“The Wrestler”) is 66; TV actress Amy Poehler (“Parks and Recreation”) is 47; Rapper Flo Rida (“Whistle”) is 39; Pop singer Nick Jonas (“Jealous”) is 26
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops? The most popular cream-filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream. (Why eat a regular donut when you can replace the empty space of the hole with delicious cream…or jelly…for the same price??)
• “Eat a Hoagie Day”, celebrating the super-sized sandwich also known as a sub, grinder, hero, Italian sandwich, po’ boy, wedge, zeppelin, or torpedo. What’s the best combo?
• “National Coloring Day”, not to be confused with National Coloring Book Day, which is observed in August. National Coloring Day is a special day for young and old alike. Coloring can be done just about anywhere and is affordable, too. Today is about adding a splash of color to your life, with or without coloring books. And if you are feeling extra adventurous, you can even color outside the lines, too!
• “Live Creative Day”, take the time to invent, discover and dream. Incorporating creativity through a variety of media from painting and graphic art to music and gardening all have a positive impact on our lives. (The only thing I’m capable of creating is an excuse!)
• “World Hearing Voices Day”, for those who receive advice, encouragement, and even laughter from others … who aren’t really there. Something tells me you should visit their website:
• “Greenpeace Day”, honoring the 1971 founding of the now internationally renowned environmental organization. A group of 17 activists initially formed in Vancouver BC to protest offshore nuclear testing in Alaska.
• “International Day of Democracy”, a UN observance since 2007 encouraging the freely-expressed will of people to determine their own political, economic, social, and cultural systems.
• “Care Givers Day”, recognizing the selfless people who do the chores for the sick and elderly that the rest of us can’t be bothered with. How come one of the most important occupations is one of the poorest paying?
• “Google.com Day”, founded on September 4th 1997, it officially became a domain on this day 21 years ago. (Who says “Google.com”?)
• “Collect Rocks Day”, a celebration of the hobby of gem & mineral collecting. (If you have young boys, you probably collect rocks…in the dryer!)
• “Guacamole Day”, honoring the avocado, tomato & onion treat that resembles baby poop.
• “Stepfamily Day”, celebrated annually on September 16th. It’s estimated that 1-in-3 of us is in a stepfamily at some point. It’s now politically correct to refer to these as ‘blended’ families. (The story of Cinderella ruined the term ‘step-anything’ for everyone!)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982  Hollywood star and real-life Princess of Monaco Grace Kelly dies in an auto accident near Monte Carlo at age 52
2009  Movie actor Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”) dies in Los Angeles at age 57 after a long battle with cancer
2017  Selena Gomez reveals that due to her battle with lupus, she has undergone a kidney transplant, donated by her friend Francia Rais.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002  No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani weds Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale in London UK (they divorce in 2016)
2013  Singer-songwriter John Legend weds model Chrissy Teigen at Villa Pizzo in Lake Como, Italy
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984  Dan Aykroyd & Bette Midler host the 1st “MTV Video Music Awards” at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall (The Cars win ‘Best Video’ for ‘You Might Think’)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987  ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ as the Sunday “New York Times” features 1,612 pages and weighs in at a whopping 12 lbs/5.4 kg (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)
2003  Brandi Carbee & Natalie Svenvold of Bellingham, Washington set a new world record with 75 continuous hours of ‘teeter-tottering’ (a.k.a. ‘see-sawing’)
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Kids who got slimed on Nickelodeon’s “You Can’t Do That on Television” were paid an extra $150 for their troubles.
✓ Research shows that youths aged 11-18 drink almost a bathtub full of sugary drinks a year, on average.
✓ Approximately 1/4th of people will sneeze when exposed to bright light.
✓ According to a study, colds and the flu take a bigger toll on women than men.
✓ Both optimists and pessimists brace for the worst when awaiting potential bad news.
✓ Researchers discovered that chimpanzees perceive butts the same way that humans perceive faces.
BS FIRST DATE IDEAS:
• Free samples at Costco.
• Run background checks on each other.
• Cow tipping.
• Sit around crying about your exes.
• Go to a nice restaurant and spend the whole night live-texting the date to your friends.
• Dinner at the folks’ place.
• Go over the details of your pre-nup.
• Take her to the absolute worst restaurant you know and then at the end of the date say, “It can only get better from here.”
• Netflix and chill (Let me guess…this was the guy’s idea, right?)
• Suggest running a marathon. If she says yes, cancel the date.
• Jan 1, 0001.
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 25 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE:
● Enjoy being a freshman … it’ll be the best 3 years of your life.
● If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
● Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
● Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong-water stain remover.
● Only allocate half your weekly budget for cheap draft and chicken wings.
● In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.
● Clever margin re-sizing can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page essay.
● Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor … think of it as ‘acing Biology’.
– First published in “BS” 1998.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Have you ever been a fan club member? To whose fan club? Or to what celeb did you send fan mail? Or tweet at?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
You might be lazy, but you’ll never be as lazy as the guy who named the ‘fireplace’.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: More than 40% of happily married women can’t remember THIS. What?
Answer: Where they had their first date.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
May your weekend be as happy as a bird with a french fry.