Friday, September 14, 2001        Edition: #2132
Not just another pretty face. In fact, not even close!

According to San Diego social psychologist Stephen Richardson, nowadays ‘adulthood’ doesn’t arrive until the age of 35. Why? More people are now either attending college well into their 20s or taking longer to settle into a career. They’re also taking longer to become financially independent and often living at home into their 30s. The cost of housing and education and delayed marriages are factors in making people in their 20s ‘fledgling adults’. Today, most people live 7 years longer than their parents did, so descriptions of becoming ‘adult’ at 21, ‘middle-aged’ at 40 and ‘old’ at 60 no longer fit. Are you 25 and thought you were an adult? 35 and people keep telling you to grow up? Confused? We’re here to help!
YOU KNOW YOU’VE BECOME AN ADULT WHEN . . .

• You’ve stopped watching MuchMusic and started watching MuchMoreMusic.
• You’ve stopped wearing T-shirts with your favorite band on them and started wearing shirts displaying your company’s logo.
• You’ve sold your futon and bought a recliner.
• You’ve started opening the top button of your pants after dinner.
• You emit a sigh of relief every time you sit down (“Ahhhhh!”)

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Here’s another movie going into limbo – Arnold Schwarzenegger’s upcoming thriller “Collateral Damage”, which begins with a terrorist explosion in a skyscraper . . . FOX-TV will replace TONIGHT’S “X-Files” and SUNDAY’S screening of “Independence Day” with comedies, and ABC-TV has canceled SATURDAY’S scheduled airing of the George Clooney terrorist movie “The Peacemaker” . . . And the John Travolta action movie “Swordfish” has been yanked from UK theaters because it contains a scene in which a city block is destroyed by a bomb (safe to say this genre of film is about to disappear for awhile) . . . Mike Myers’ 3rd turn as ‘Austin Powers’ is now set for NEXT SUMMER and will be titled “Goldmember” (Heather Graham says she’s agreed to return “as long as they don’t blow me up”) . . . Word has it Britney Spears, now touring Australia, is suffering an acne problem that’s caused her face to break out (fortunately, no one’s looked at her face in years) . . . There’s a  rumor circulating that Michael Jackson is NOT the biological father of his children (when reached for comment his son said, “Thank God!”) . . . British male stripper troupe ‘Dreamboys’ has insured their ‘equipment’ for a staggering 12-million each due to boisterous and overexcited fans who clutch at them during their act (hmm, I smell a “Full Monty” sequel).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Leelee Sobieski plays an orphaned teenager who’s taken in by a couple that turn out not to be  the friends they seem in the thriller “The Glass House” . . . Keanu Reeves plays an aimless gambler who agrees to coach an inner city Little League team in order to get a loan in the drama “Hardball” (actress Diane Lane co-stars in BOTH movies).

BIN LADEN BOUNTY:
Flamboyant German Internet multi-millionaire Kim Schmitz is offering $10 million for information leading to the arrest of Osama bin Laden.
NET: http://www.kimble.org/mostwanted.htm

HOAXTRADAMUS:
Internet chat rooms are all abuzz that 16th-century French astrologer Nostradamus forecast the attack on the World Trade Center. The excerpts being ‘quoted’: “In the year of the new century and nine months, From the sky will come a great King of Terror, The sky will burn at 45 degrees, Fire approaches the new city.” And some inventive scribe has added: “In the city of York, there will be a great collapse, Two twin brothers torn apart by chaos, While the fortress falls the great leader will succumb, Third big war will begin when the big city is burning.” Nostradamus scholars note the year 1999 is the last exact date that Nostradamus specified. “New century” does not exist in Nostradamus’ predictions, and when he wrote about “nine months”, he was speaking about ancient Greece. Bottom line — it’s all a bunch of hooey. (Interesting that some of the same passages were dragged out a couple years back predicting doom at the turn of the millennium.)

IT’S THE EMPIRE STATE AGAIN:
The 102-storey Empire State Building, completed in 1931, is again NYC’s tallest skyscraper. “Globe & Mail” notes that it was struck by a US Army bomber that was lost in fog in 1945. Amazingly, people working just 5 floors away from the impact didn’t even feel a shudder. How could that be? A structural engineer says the Empire State Building was designed in an era when engineers erred heavily on the side of caution, while modern buildings are designed to be just strong enough for ‘likely loadings’.

DO NOTHING AND LOSE WEIGHT:
• Clean the gutters for 1 hour — 409 calories
• Watch the kids for 1 hour — 327 calories
• Bang your head against a wall for 1 hour — 150 calories
• Sit in a meeting for an hour — 122 calories
• Spend 20 minutes slow dancing — 81 calories
• Talk for 30 minutes on the phone — 61 calories
• Foreplay for 30 minutes (is that possible?) — 61 calories
• Wash the dishes for 10 minutes — 30 calories
• Wash your hands for 2 minutes — 16 calories
• Make the bed for 5 minutes — 13 calories

THE BULL SHEET 09.14.01

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [54] Sam Neill, Omagh N IRE, movie actor (“Jurassic Park 1 & 3″, “The Piano”)

1960 [41] Callum Keith Rennie, Sunderland ENG [raised Edmonton AB], TV actor (“Da Vinci’s Inquest”, “Twitch City”, “Due South”)/movie actor (“eXistenZ”)  NEXT FILM: The comedy sequel “Slap Shot II: Breaking the Ice”, coming in 2002

1970 [31] Craig Montoya, Portland OR, rock musician (Everclear-“Wonderful”, “Santa Monica”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [55] Oliver Stone, NYC, movie director/screenwriter (3 Oscars-“Platoon”, “Born on the Fourth of July”, “Midnight Express”)

1946 [55] Tommy Lee Jones, San Saba TX, movie actor (“Space Cowboys”, “Rules of Engagement”,  Oscar-“The Fugitive”)/Al Gore’s Harvard U roommate  NEXT FILM: Co-stars with Will Smith in “Men in Black 2″, opening NEXT SUMMER (it’s just been announced the ending will be changed because the World Trade Center was to be involved in the climax)

1960 [41] Mitch Dorge, Winnipeg MB, rock drummer (Crash Test Dummies-“Keep a Lid on Things”, “Superman’s Song”)

1984 [17] Prince Harry (Henry Charles Albert David Windsor of Wales), London ENG, Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s #2 son who’s 3rd in line to the British throne

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TOMORROW’s “Egremont Crab Fair” in West Cumbria, England (a 730-year tradition) is the home of the “World Gurning Championships”. For the uninitiated, ‘gurning’ is the art of making scary or goofy distorted faces. As well as pulling the most grotesque face possible, contestants are encouraged to generate even more excitement by thrashing around the stage making wild animal noises.
PHONER: 011-44-1946-821554 (Alan Clements)
NET: http://www.benjerry.co.uk/gurning/index.htm

TOMORROW is the annual “Respect for the Aged” holiday in Japan, whose citizens enjoy one of the world’s longest average lifespans. By the end of this month, there will be 15,475 Japanese who are more than 100 years old, more than double the total of just 5 years ago. Taking care of the mushrooming seniors’ population has become a major problem in Japan, as it will be here over the next 2 decades.

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 Microsoft Windows Me’(‘Millennium Edition’) released

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1981 [20] 1st edition of TV’s “Entertainment Tonight” on TV

1994 [07] 1st episode of TV’ s “Touched by an Angel”, starring Della Reese

1998 [03] “Hollywood Squares” returns to TV, with Whoopi Goldberg in center square

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [14] Largest-ever newspaper edition as Sunday “NY Times” has 1,612 pages and weighs in at 12 lbs (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)

1987 [14] Skateboard ‘high jump record’ set as Tony Magnuson clears 9.5 ft above U-ramp (wow, bitchin’, dude!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Felt Hat Day (Sunday is ‘Felt Thigh Day’)
[Sun] 21st Annual Terry Fox Run (http://www.terryfoxrun.org)
[Sun] Collect Rocks Day
[Sun] Prime-Time Emmy Awards postponed
[Sun] National Play-Doh Day
[Sun] National Working Parents Day
[Sun] Women’s Friendship Day
Balance Awareness Week
Women of Achievement Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
“THE AMERICANS”:

Late CFRB broadcaster Gordon Sinclair wrote a piece back in 1973 called “The Americans” that, in light of this week’s events, has regained some resonance. In fact, it’s been circulating all over the Web via e-mail in the last few days. Here’s the original text and a RealAudio clip of the original recording –
NET: http://www.rcc.ryerson.ca/ccf/news/unique/am_text.html
At the time, CKLW Windsor news director Byron McGregor actually recorded the text with patriotic BG music and released it as a single. While we can’t find the recording, here’s the text of his version –
NET: http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3890b2e323ed.htm

BS TAG LINE:
Always live within your means, even if you have to borrow to do it.


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