September 22, 2000                                             Edition:  #1895

TODAY is “Proposal Day”, a day on which single people are encouraged to propose marriage. A survey is conducted in conjunction with the day to discover whom we consider the most eligible celebrity bachelor and bachelorette and the poll toppers are – Britain’s Prince William and Britney Spears (ironically rumored to be attracted to one another). So here’s a sampling of . . .
PRINCE WILLIAM’S BEST BS PICK-UP LINES:
• “How’d you like to be hounded by paparazzi for the next 6 months?”
• “Technically, you’ll be knighted if I touch you with my ‘royal sceptre’.”
• “It’s not a proper curtsy unless your skirt’s over your head.”
• “Guards! Off with her blouse!”
• “See ‘Jar Jar’ over there? That’s my dad.”
• “Bark like a hound for me, peasant girl — and like it!”
• “Wanna inbreed?”

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY “Survivor” contestants Jenna, Joel, Sean and Gervase are shooting guest shots for an upcoming episode of CBS-TV’s “Nash Bridges” (you know you have a lame TV series when . . .) . . . Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are in the process of selling the first public pics of their 1-month-old baby to a British tab for a reported $1 million and have allegedly put a $2 million price tag on photos of their upcoming wedding ($5 mill if you want the honeymoon included) . . . Newly single Anne Heche has just made a deal to publish her memoirs, including juicy details of her kaput relationship with Ellen DeGeneres . . . Meantime, buzz is Ellen DeGeneres is having a tattoo removed from her butt that reads ‘My Annie’ (wow, I never even thought of giving mine a NAME!).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Cameron Crowe’s quasi-autobiographical story about a rock journalist in the ’70s, “Almost Famous”, opens wide after doing good box office in limited release . . . Penelope Cruz plays a TV chef whose celebrity status causes problems with her marriage in the comedy  “Woman on Top” . . . Sally Field directs Minnie Driver in “Beautiful”, about a young woman who discovers what’s really important in life during her quest to become ‘Miss American Miss’ . . . Crew members on a horror film fall prey to fatal ‘accidents’ in the slasher sequel “Urban Legends: Final Cut” . . . And one of the great horror classic of all time, 1973′s “The Exorcist”, is back in re-release, fully-restored and enhanced (with Campbell’s New Chunky Pea & Potato) and including 10 minutes of extra footage (Linda Blair is still turning heads).

GUYS VS MEN:
• Men know what they want to be doing 5 years down the road. Guys are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
• Men wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, shoes with laces. Guys wear high school T- shirts they’ve actually owned since high school.
• Men balance their cheque books. Guys balance their loans so they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.
• Men are experts on women’s erogenous zones. Guys are experts on their own erogenous zone.
• Men order wine based on more than the price. Guys bring their own beer.

THE BULL SHEET 09.22.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1942    [58] David Stern, New York NY, NBA commissioner since 1984
1958    [42] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico ITA, opera singer (his “Romanza” album sold 10 million-plus)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1930    [70] Ray Charles, Albany GA, R&B legend (“Georgia on My Mind”, “Hit the Road Jack”)
1949    [51] Bruce Springsteen, Freehold NJ, rock singer (Grammys-“Dancing in the Dark”, “Tunnel of Love”, Oscar-winning song-“Streets of Philadelphia”)
1959    [41] Jason Alexander (Greenspan), Newark NJ, movie actor (Boris Badenov-“The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle”, “Hunchback Of Notre Dame”/ex-TV actor (George Costanza-“Seinfeld”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Vancouver] “International Film Festival” begins (through October 5)

“Autumn” officially begins TODAY in the Northern Hemisphere at 1:27pm EDT. Studies show we fatten up in Fall, eating an average of 14% more than any other season.

TODAY is “Hobbit Day”, commemorating the birthdays of “Lord of the Rings” characters ‘Frodo’ and ‘Bilbo Baggins’ and their creator, JRR Tolkien. Movie versions of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy are currently being shot simultaneously, the first “The Fellowship of the Ring” coming December 2001.

TODAY is “National Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more. (It’s now possible that they’ve lived in 3 different centuries.)

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
1999    Emmy Award-winning drama “The West Wing” premieres on NBC-TV
1999    Shania Twain wins “Entertainer of the Year” at Country Music Association Awards

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1954    [46] 1st ‘pina colada’ is concocted (rum, coconut cream and unsweetened pineapple juice)
1994    [06] 1st episode of “Friends” on NBC-TV begins frenzy for ‘Rachel’ hairstyle

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1990    [10] World’s fastest talker utters 595 words in 56.01 seconds or 637.4 wpm

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sun] National Good Neighbor Day
[Mon] One-Hit Wonder Day
[Tues] MLB Regular Season ends
National Farm Safety Week (watch where you’re walking!)

BULL’S BITS . . .
TEST YOUR AUSSIE IQ:

• A surprising new research study shows the average Australian woman does THIS an average of 121 times before getting married. [Kisses different men.]
• 1 in 5 of THESE machines in the world are located there. [Slot machines, even though the population is just 19 million.]
• In an average year, 10 Australians choke to death while doing THIS. [Drinking a beer while driving.]

BS TAG LINE: How long a minute lasts depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.


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