Thurs, Sept 21, 2000   The Moussambani of Show Prep   Edition:  #1894

TONIGHT the “MuchMusic Video Awards” features performances by Moby, Barenaked Ladies, Destiny’s Child, and the Guess Who jamming with Lenny Kravitz on “American Woman”. 3 members of ‘N Sync are on board as presenters. Matthew Good Band leads all nominees with 11 nods. And here’s some . . .
BS SIGNS YOU WON’T WIN A MUCHMUSIC VIDEO AWARD:
• MuchMusic 2 just completed your “Where Are They Now?” segment.
• Budget cuts forced you to use a white, middle-aged heterosexual male choreographer.
• Less than 6 holes pierced in your body.
• You confused video shows and submitted a tape of your cousin Earl stepping on a rake.
• The only video of you on TV this month was on “America’s Most Wanted”.
• Some bastard keeps tuning your guitar.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Madonna confirms she delivered her son by C-section and received a diamond ring the next day from sperm vessel Guy Ritchie (the rock’s almost as big as Rocky) . . . So Melissa Etheridge & Julie Cypher are splitting up — does this mean David Crosby gets the kids? . . . Word is 23-year-old “Terminator 2″ actor Edward Furlong was partying with hotel heiress Paris Hilton on the weekend and ended up getting booted from a NYC nightclub after he went to the ladies’ room by mistake and then got sick all over the bar . . . And Alec Baldwin is now DENYING that he or wife Kim Basinger ever said they would leave the US if George W Bush is elected (after reading the latest polls).

MOVIES GETTIN’ MADE:
Kevin Costner’s next will likely be “Dragonfly”, playing a doctor who’s contacted by the spirit of his ex-wife through his patients’ near-death experiences (after his last 3 box office bombs, Costner know’s all about those) . . . The upcoming comedy “America’s Sweethearts” stars John Cusack & Catherine Zeta-Jones as an estranged movie star couple who has to promote a film they made even though their marriage has tanked (hey, why not Meg Ryan & Dennis Quaid?) . . . Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman & Meryl Streep may star together in “The Hours” without ever seeing one other, because it revolves around 3 different storylines (thereby saving one giant cat fight!).

SOMETHING’S STUCK IN YOUR TEETH:
Doctors in China have developed a cure for arthritis that many outside of China may be reluctant to try. It’s made with ant juice. Yup, the docs say a mixture of squashed ants and water can reverse arthritis in a flash!

BS NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER:
• American Don Astorga has been convicted of attempting to smuggle lizards into Australia — in his underwear. Police looking for drugs noticed some unusual bulges and found 3 live lizards and 9 dead ones. (Are you happy to see me or is that just a dead lizard in your pocket?)
• The citizens of Walhalla, Australia (population 21) are sick of hearing about the Games and have declared the little gold mining town an ‘Olympics-Free Zone’. Anyone heard gabbing about anything to do with the Olympiad can be fined on the spot. Organizers Rhonda & Norm Aquilina, who run the local general store, are even resorting to clipping out all stories about the Games from newspapers before they get sold!

THE BULL SHEET 09.21.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1934    [66] Leonard Cohen, Montreal PQ, Canadian icon/songwriter (“Closing Time”, “Bird on a Wire”)
1947    [53] Stephen King, Portland ME, scary author (“The Shining”, “Pet Cemetery”)/first major author to release books on the Internet
1950    [50] Bill Murray, Wilmette IL, movie actor (“Rushmore”, “Caddy Shack”) NEXT FILM: Plays the role of ‘Bosley’ in “Charlie’s Angels” opening in November
1960    [40] David James Elliott, Toronto ON, TV actor (Lt Cmdr Harmon Rabb Jr-“JAG”)
1967    [33] Faith Hill, Jackson MS, country superstar (“Let’s Make Love”, “This Kiss”)/Mrs Tim McGraw
1967    [33] Tyler Stewart, Scarborough ON, rock drummer (Barenaked Ladies-“One Week”, “It’s All Been Done”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the LAST DAY of summer in the Northern Hemisphere. (Sniff.)

TODAY is the first-ever “Dress-Up Thursday”, sponsored by clothing retailers as a backlash against business-casual dress (I’m wearing a tie today – honest!). Fashion-trends spotter David Wolfe says casualness has reached the saturation point. No more flopping bra straps and destroyed denim duds, he says, the buzzword for women’s fall fashion is ‘ladylike’ (just like David).

TODAY is “World Gratitude Day”, ‘to unite all people in a positive emotion of gratitude, creating a world community.’ (Sponsored by the ‘Canadian Society of Hopeless Optimists’.)

TODAY is “Biosphere Day”, a day to remind everyone of the fragility of the Earth, our only means of life-support. (Raise your Styrofoam cups in a toast!)

TODAY is “National Student Day”, honoring the ‘diligence and hard work’ of students everywhere. (Snort!)

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1995    [05] Canadian Mint unveils design for new $2-coin that includes a polar bear (soon becomes known as the ‘tooney’ or ‘twonie’ – well how do YOU spell it?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1929     [71] 1st legal ‘forward pass’ in Canadian football (by Calgary, vs Edmonton)
1970     [30] 1st “Monday Night Football” game on ABC (NY Jets beat Cleveland Browns 31-21)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] 1st day of Autumn
[Fri] National Hunting & Fishing Day
Build A Better Image Week
Library Card Sign-Up Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
Q: What was used to simulate blood in the famous shower scene in the 1960 Alfred Hitchcock chiller “Psycho”?
A: Chocolate syrup.
(Source: “Extra!”)

BS TAG LINE:
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife WOULD have preferred.


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