September 11, 2000                                        Edition:  #1886

• “Dennis Franz woulda won, but they couldn’t get the Emmy to bend over.”
• “Could you at least drink the Cuervo from a glass, Mr Shandling?”
• “I don’t care if you play ‘Mimi’ on “The Drew Carey Show”, you’re not getting in without a shirt.”
• “Miss Elfman, we found your trophy — it had fallen into Camryn Manheim’s cleavage!”
• “Did you know if you hold Calista up to a klieg light, you can see what she had for dinner?”
• “See the latest presidential polls? Martin Sheen is ahead of Bush AND Gore!”
• “This is the last time I’m telling you, Ms Parker, NO CLIMBING ON MY EMMY!”
• “This is for all the fat girls — especially Richard Hatch!”
• “Run for cover! More Michael J Fox tributes!”

• “People” magazine’s annual list of ‘Best-Dressed Celebrities’ is topped by Jennifer Aniston, Charlize Theron and Heather Locklear in the women’s category, and Samuel L Jackson, Freddie Prinze Jr, and Kevin Spacey in the men’s. The ‘Worst-Dressed’ list includes Jennifer Love Hewitt and Bruce Willis. And this year a new category has been added – with rapper Lil’ Kim, Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez all making the new “Least-Dressed” list.
• “E! Online” reports that shooting has started on “Jurassic Park 3”, which is set to debut July 18, 2001. (The plot involves Sam Neill, returning as ‘Dr Alan Grant’, attempting to flog a dead dinosaur.)
• Britain’s “Sun” tabloid claims Brad Pitt has been approached to star in the next “Batman” movie. (If you believe Gwyneth Paltrow, he’d be the first with armpit stains on his cape).
• “New York Daily News” reports that Russell Crowe has flown to Australia for surgery on a shoulder injury he suffered in Austin TX while training for his role in “Flora Plum”. Now the movie’s director Jodie Foster has to decide whether to wait for him to come back or find another actor. (Coincidently the same decision facing Meg Ryan.)
• TV gab show “Live With Regis” is actually doing BETTER since Kathie Lee Gifford left as co-host July 28. Since then, the “NY Post” notes, ratings are up 26% over the same period last year. (And Reg’s blood pressure is down 74%.)
• “Daily Variety” reports that writer-producer David Milch, the creative force behind the police drama “NYPD Blue”, is developing a new TV cop show — set in ancient Rome. The series will reportedly combine the traditional aspects of a TV cop show with the unconventional backdrop of Rome during the reign of Nero in 65 AD. (“Put your hands on the chariot and spread ‘em! You have the right to face lions…”)

• TONIGHT at Edmonton’s Skyreach Centre co-hosted by Terri Clark and Paul Brandt.
• For the first time in its 14 years, the awards will NOT be aired live on a major Canadian TV network because “costs are too high”.
• Newcomer Tara Lyn Hart and Shania Twain lead nominations with 6 apiece, Calgary’s Julian Austin and The Wilkinsons have 5.
• Anne Murray’s long-time manager Len Rambeau will be inducted posthumously into the Canadian Country Music Hall of Fame.


1940     [60] Brian DePalma, Newark NJ, movie director (“Mission Impossible”, The Untouchables”)
1965    [35] Moby (Richard Melville Hall), techno/rock musician/producer (“Porcelain”, “Natural Blues”) NOTE: Nickname derived from great-great granduncle Herman Melville, who wrote “Moby Dick”
1967    [33] Harry Connick Jr, New Orleans LA, jazz/pop singer (Grammys-“When Harry Met Sally”, “We Are in Love”)/film actor (“Hope Floats”, “Independence Day”) NEXT FILM: He’ll co-star with Glenn Close in “South Pacific” due out in 2001

TODAY is “National Boss/Employee Exchange Day”, when employers and employees are supposed to trade places to develop better understanding of one another. (Does this mean you can fire the old curmudgeon?)

TODAY is “No News is Good News Day”, whose proponents claim if you don’t listen, read or watch any news for the day you’ll feel better. (Sponsored by the ‘Head in the Sand Association’.)

TODAY is “Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business Day”. (TOMORROW is “Get a Grip, Moron. We Got a Whack of Bills to Pay Day”.)

1996    [04] The Beatles “Anthology” double album reaches 12 million sales mark, the equivalent of 24 million albums, more than they ever sold at their peak (the “Anthology” book coming NEXT MONTH will likely do just as well)
1997    [03] Scotland votes to create its own Parliament after 290 years of union with England (because 290 years of ‘union’ is a lot of screwing)

1875     [125] 1st newspaper ‘comic strip’, “Professor Tigwissel’s Burglar Alarm”, appears in “NY Daily”
    • Indotherm — wavy, vertical lines in comics to indicate something is hot
    • Plewd — a series of typographical symbols used to indicate foul language.(“You !@?#% jerk!”)
1946     [54] 1st ‘car-to-car phone conversation’ (“Hey idiot! Where’d you learn to drive!!!”)
1966     [34] “W5” premieres on CTV

[Wed-Thurs] Canadian “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ?” on CTV
[Fri] Sydney Olympics opening
[Sun] 20th Annual Terry Fox Run
Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week (what’s the worst thing your class ever did to one?)
Pleasure Your Mate Month (aka ‘Go on a 2-Week Business Trip Month’)


Q: Which is the only US state that borders 3 Canadian provinces?
A: Montana, which borders on BC, Alberta and Saskatchewan.

Q: In 1980, 75% of all households had one of these in the kitchen. Nowadays, you can’t find one anywhere. What is it?
A: The hot air popcorn popper, which became obsolete as microwave popcorn became popular.

BS TAG LINE: Warning: I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

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