Friday, September 26, 2008        Edition: #3866
Sheet Happens!

Just in case the lame 1997 movie comedy “Beverly Hills Ninja”, starring the late Chris Farley, left you with lingering questions, a sequel is in the works for 2009, starring (huh?) David Hasselhoff (that symbol of cinematic quality) . . . The family suing Marian Medical Center in Santa Monica CA for moving their critically-ill relative (who died) in 2005 in order to make room for flu victim Michael Jackson has dropped the case, their attorney saying ‘the constant stress of this lengthy process was too much’ (BS translation: I have bled these people dry; I’m moving on to another client) . . . 35-year-old “Project Runway” host Heidi Klum says she wants to have at least 1 more pup, er child, with husband Seal (they have 2 together; 3 in their blended family) . . . Disney has announced that actor Johnny Depp will star a diverse trio of the studio’s upcoming movies: playing ‘The Mad Hatter’ in director Tim Burton’s adaptation of “Alice In Wonderland”; starring in a bigscreen version of “The Lone Ranger”; and returning in a 3rd sequel to “Pirates Of the Caribbean” (“Pirates Of the Caribbean 4: Flogging a Dead Horse”) . . . “Grey’s Anatomy” star Patrick Dempsey confesses that he & wife Jillian Fink like to experiment in the bedroom – even enjoying a little spanking every now and then (uh, thanks for sharing but that’s just TMI, McDreamy) . . . And according to new research from the University of California at San Francisco, legendary actors like Clark Gable, Spencer Tracy, and John Wayne were all paid huge sums to promote smoking during Hollywood’s ‘Golden Age’ (considering they respectively died of heart failure, lung congestion, and cancer – it seems they were underpaid!).

• “Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) – SUNDAY the 13th season premiere introduces 11 new teams who’ll race around-the-world for $1 million. As usual, the pairings include 2 Southern blondes; 2 frat brothers; a separated married couple; and token seniors … a pair of beekeeping hippies.
• “Austin City Limits Music Festival” – TONIGHT through SUNDAY, the Texas capital rocks to a line-up that includes Alison Krauss & Robert Plant, Beck, Foo Fighters, and the Raconteurs.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) — TONIGHT Solange (“I Decided”) is onstage.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – TONIGHT rockers Seether (“Rise Above This”) guest.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – TONIGHT country act Lady Antebellum is on.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) – Actress Anna Faris (“The House Bunny“) hosts; Duffy (“Mercy”) is the musical guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – TONIGHT Jennifer Hudson performs “Spotlight”.

• Aerosmith – Frontman Steven Tyler is suing a group of website hosts for impersonating him in a series of online blogs, pretending to write entries as either him or his girlfriend, Erin Brady.
• Britney Spears – Simon Cowell has now confirmed she’ll appear on his UK talent show, “The X-Factor”, admitting she’s the ‘#1 booking in the world’.
• Ludacris – He’s lost part of his Atlanta GA estate in a raging fire which completely destroyed the property’s pool house. He wasn’t at home; a relative staying in the house escaped uninjured. (But man, is he in trouble with the Lud’!)
• Mariah Carey – She’s been named a ‘Hunger Ambassador’ for the Yum! Foundation, a charity that raises money for the UN’s World Food Program. (She only took it on because she thought they said ‘Hungary Ambassador’.)
• Metallica – Their new album “Death Magnetic” is now #1 in 25 countries worldwide.
• Pink – She blames her hectic career life for her marriage break-up, confessing she became tired of trying to organize quality time with her ex-, Carey Hart. Their 2-year marriage ended in FEBRUARY.
• Toby Keith – He earned $48 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008, making him the 3rd-highest-earning musician in that time, according to a new ranking by “Forbes” magazine. The Police ranked #1 with $115 million, followed by Beyoncé with $80 million.

• “Eagle Eye” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Shia LaBeouf stars alongside Michelle Monaghan in this thriller directed by DJ Caruso (“Disturbia”) about a female mastermind intent on convincing 2 young people into aiding and abetting an assassination. Co-stars Rosario Dawson, Michael Chiklis, and Billy Bob Thornton.
• “The Lucky Ones” ( R-Rated Dramedy ): Rachel McAdams, Tim Robbins, and Michael Pena play soldiers returned from the Iraq War after suffering injuries. After embarking on an unplanned cross-country road trip, they learn that life has moved on without them. To get in character for the part, Robbins visited battle-hardened troops at Fort Dix NJ.
• “Miracle at St Anna” ( R-Rated War Drama ): Spike Lee directs this true story of 4 African-American soldiers trapped in a small Tuscan town as they attempt to rescue a young boy during WW2. Mostly no-name cast. Wesley Snipes was originally cast, but was forced to drop out due to pending tax-evasion charges.
• “Nights in Rodanthe” ( PG-13 Romantic Drama ): Richard Gere plays a doctor who’s on his way to see his estranged son, but along the way ends up romancing an unhappily married woman (Diane Lane) at a North Carolina inn. Based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks (“The Notebook“).

• A recent survey of women reveals why they cheat on their husbands. The top reasons for two-timing are ‘meeting someone irresistible’ and ‘being drunk’ (just like guys). But increasingly the reason given is … ‘career advancement’.
– “Details Magazine”
• A poll of women asks them what are their biggest ‘post-pleasure peeves’. The worst things guys do right after making love include: ‘talking about an old girlfriend’, ‘putting on underwear’, ‘jumping up to take a shower’ and, of course, ‘immediately falling asleep’.
– “Redbook”
• According to a model survey, most fashion models pick their ‘lips’ as their best body part and most pick their ‘feet’ as their worst. (No mention of ‘brain’ at either end of the scale.)
– “Glamour”

After 2 decades of studying the flying skills of houseflies and fruit flies, Bioengineering Professor Michael Dickinson of the California Institute of Technology has revealed his secret for successfully swatting a fly. It’s best not to swat at the fly’s starting position, he advises. But rather to aim a bit forward of that to anticipate where the fly is going to jump when it first sees your swatter. (Uh, did he get a grant for this?)
– “The Telegraph”

According to a new ranking, these are the all-time top tracks in rap …
5. “The Message” – Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five (1982).
4. “Walk This Way” – Run-DMC (1986).
3. “Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang” – Dr Dre (1992).
2. “Rapper’s Delight” – Sugarhill Gang (considered the first-ever rap record, 1979)
1. “Fight the Power” – Public Enemy (1989).
– VH1

Dr Susan Dellinger, author and creator of “Psycho-Geometrics”, claims your favorite shape reveals the real you. The 5 basic personality types and their shapes …
• Square – You’re an organized, logical and hardworking person who likes structure and rules. Sometimes you have trouble making decisions because you always want more information.
• Rectangle – You’re a courageous, exciting and inquisitive explorer who always searches for ways to grow and change. You enjoy trying things you’ve never done before and love asking questions that have never been asked.
• Triangle – You’re a born leader who’s competitive, confident and decisive. You also like recognition and are interested in politics.
• Circle – You’re a ‘people person’ with lots of sympathy and consideration for others. You listen and communicate very well and are very perceptive about feelings. You like harmony and hate making unpopular decisions.
• Squiggle – You’re a creative person who’s always thinking of new ways to do things. You don’t think in a deliberate pattern from A to B to C. Instead, you tend to jump around in your mind, going from A to M to X.
– AP

• Rabbits love licorice.
• A bite from a Brown Recluse Spider can take over 2 months to heal.
• If a cockroach touches a human, it runs to safety and then … cleans itself.
– “Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader”

1948 [60] Olivia Newton-John, Cambridge UK (raised Melbourne, Australia), oldies singer (“I Honestly Love You”)/movie actress (“Grease”)

1968 [40] Jim Caviezel, Mount Vernon WA, movie actor (“Deja Vu”, “The Passion of the Christ”)

1972 [36] Shawn Stockman, Philadelphia PA, R&B/pop singer (Boyz II Men-“The End Of the Road”) who had 6 #1 hits in the ‘90s, including some of the longest-charted singles of all-time

1981 [27] Serena Williams, Saginaw MI, #1-ranked women’s tennis player (2008 US Open)

1981 [27] Christina Milian, Jersey City NJ, pop singer (“Say I”, “Dip It Low”)/sometime movie actress (“Be Cool”, “American Pie”)

Classic rock singer-guitarist Randy Bachman (BTO, Guess Who) is 65; Classic rocker-actor Meat Loaf (“Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad“) is 57; Rock singer-guitarist Stephan Jenkins (Third Eye Blind) is 44; Movie actress Gwyneth Paltrow (“Shakespeare in Love”) is 36; Rock singer Brad Arnold (3 Doors Down) is 30; Rapper Lil Wayne (“Lollipop”) is 26; Pop singer Avril Lavigne (“Girlfriend”) is 24.

Movie actress Naomi Watts (“The Ring”) is 40; Rapper Young Jeezy (w/Usher-“Love In This Club”) is 31; Movie actress-singer Hilary Duff (“Cheaper By the Dozen”) is 21.

• “Food Service Employees Day”, in recognition of those dedicated folks who slop your plate full and slam it on your table.
• “International Tool Day”. So who do you think qualifies? Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez? Victoria Beckham?
• “James Dean Festival”, the 33rd annual through SUNDAY in his hometown of Fairmount IN will attract thousands of fans from around-the-world, despite the fact he only made 3 major movies (“Giant”, “East of Eden”, “Rebel Without a Cause”) and died 53 years ago in 1955.
• “Lailat al Kadr” (“Night of Power”), the Muslim observance commemorating the night in which the Prophet Muhammed received the first revelation of the Qur’an. Shia Muslims believe that their fate for the upcoming year will be decided on this night.
• “Native American Day”, observed annually on the 4th FRIDAY in SEPTEMBER.
• “Vancouver International Film Festival”, the 27th annual through October 10th. Some 150,000 admissions are expected at 575 screenings of 332 films from 60 countries over 16 days.

• “Ancestor Appreciation Day”, a day to learn about and appreciate one’s forebears. (Don’t forget to say, “Gee grampa, thanks for that really interesting story.”)
• “Hunting & Fishing Day”, an annual celebration of the joys of the outdoors and a salute to the conservation and economic benefits provided by sportsmen and women. Outdoor Channel host Michael Waddell (“Realtree Road Trips“) is 2008’s honorary chairman.
• “International Rabbit Day”, observed on the 4th SATURDAY of SEPTEMBER to encourage protection of rabbits as pets and in the wild. Considering the previous event, good luck bunnies!
• “St Vincent de Paul Day” … the patron saint of used clothing?
• “World Tourism Day”, as declared by the UN’s World Tourism Organization.

• “Ask a Stupid Question Day”, created by some unknown keener who decided that ‘asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake’.
• “Good Neighbor Day”, an annual observance when we’re encouraged to say thank-you to a good neighbor and to be one ourselves. Uh, what if you can’t find one?

1969 [39] 1st episode of TV’s “The Brady Bunch” (“Mike & Carol’s Wedding”)

1987 [21] Whitney Houston scores her 5th consecutive #1 single with “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”

1892 [116] 1st ‘Matchbook’ (Diamond Match Co)

1960 [48] ‘Longest Speech in United Nations History’ (4 hours, 29 minutes by Fidel Castro)

1983 [25] ‘Longest Winning Streak in Sports’ (132 years) comes to an end as challenger “Australia II” defeats the USA in “America’s Cup” yacht racing

[Mon] Polaris Music Prize (Toronto)
[Mon] Goose Day
[Mon] Pumpkin Day
[Tues] Canadian ‘Do Not Call’ List debuts
[Tues] Rosh Hashanah (Jewish)
[Tues] Mud Pack Day
[Wed] Tina Turner tour begins (Kansas City)
[Thurs] Ramadan ends (Muslim)
This Week Is … Roller Skating Week
This Month Is … Hispanic Heritage Month

• Can we spell ‘creativity’ however we want?
• What does ‘new & improved’ say about the old product?
• Does wild rice have to be hunted?
• Is it really low-fat … or does the serving just fit in the palm of your hand?
• What is the opposite of medium?

You possess a mind that’s not just twisted … it’s actually sprained.

“Two Strangers & a Wedding” is the ultimate blind date contest which can be billed as a ‘social experiment in interactive matchmaking’. First, you search for 2 people looking for love, who meet over the airwaves on your station, make a connection during daily on-air chats, and then wed at the end of the journey. The catch? They do it all without ever seeing each other! Starting out with hundreds of romantic hopefuls, listeners have an active role in helping choose the lucky pair who will only lay eyes on one another on their wedding day, thus proving or disproving whether love can be blind. The concept has worked at numerous international stations as far flung as Australia and the UK. Perfect as a run-up to “Valentine’s Day”.

Who’s your all-time favorite TV duo? (‘Kermit & Miss Piggy’? “The Office’s” ‘Pam & Jim’? ‘SpongeBob & Patrick’? “I Love Lucy’s“ ‘Lucy & Ricky’? ‘Carrie & Mr Big’?)

Today’s Question: Office workers spend an average of 600 hours over their career doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Staring at an attractive co-worker.

Death and taxes may always be with us; but at least death doesn’t get any worse.

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