Tuesday, September 2, 2008        Edition: #3848
Sheet Happens!

• Former “X-Files” star David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for – sex addiction. Word has it the love jones isn’t to do with real-life women, just some over-zealous one-hand keyboarding action. A rep says he, wife Téa Leoni, and their 2 kids are dealing with the situation ‘as a family’. (Whoa, kinky!)
– TMZ.com
• A new book about celebrated Welsh children’s author Roald Dahl (“Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”, “James & The Giant Peach”) reveals that, during his time as a spy for the British embassy in Washington DC, part of his duties included seducing well-connected American women in order to glean information. In “The Irregulars: Roald Dahl & The British Spy Ring In Wartime Washington”, author Jennet Conant confirms ‘a certain amount of hanky-panky was condoned’. (Well, guess that sort of explains why you’d sleep with creepy Bette Davis.)
– “Sunday Times”
• Wed on the weekend: 46-year-old former “Sopranos” star James Gandolfini & his 40-year-old long-time partner Deborah Lin in front of family & friends in the bride’s hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii SATURDAY. Gandolfini’s ‘Best Man’ was his 8-year-old son from a previous marriage which ended in 2002. A guest notes there was a nice big kiss at the end ‘with both hands on the cheeks’. (Um, when ‘Tony’ does that to you … it’s not a good sign.)
– People.com
• One can only wonder what “The Queen” would make of 63-year-old actress Helen Mirren’s frank confession to interviewer Piers Morgan in “GQ’s” OCTOBER issue that she used to do cocaine. Mirren, who won an Oscar for playing her nibs in the acclaimed 2006 film, admits, “I loved coke. I never did a lot, just a bit at parties.” (This woman loves to shock.)
– GQ.com
• “The Dark Knight” has soared to new heights, raking in more than $500 million in domestic box office, only the 2nd movie ever to do so. “Titanic” still holds the top spot for overall North American take at $600.8 million. (The dollar-spread in worldwide box office is wider: $919 million vs $1.8 billion.)
– CBC Arts & Entertainment
• A new ballot system has been tested in the Philippines with a fake election among Pierce Brosnan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Costner, Harrison Ford, and Sharon Stone. Pierce Brosnan won, thanks to old “Remington Steele” TV reruns still being popular. (This is likely one place you can go and still watch “Gilligan’s Island”.)
– PopBitch.com

• “Canadian Idol” (CTV) – THIS WEEK’s mentor, classic rocker Bryan Adams, performs on TONIGHT’s second-to-last results episode.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Dinosaur rockers Judas Priest perform.
• “Just Stand Up“ – The theme song for the “Stand Up To Cancer” telethon which airs FRIDAY on US networks is released on iTunes TODAY. It features 15 top female singers including Beyoncé, Leona Lewis, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, and Rihanna.
• New Kids On the Block – “The Block”, their 5th studio album is released just ahead of their upcoming world tour (now skedded to start SEPTEMBER 18th in Toronto). A new compilation of their hits is expected soon as well. NKOTB sold over 70 million albums worldwide before splitting in 1994. THIS MORNING they appear on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• “90210“ (CW) – The spin-off of the fabled 1990s teen drama premieres. The new version, which producers claim is ‘edgier and less preachy’, stars Shenae Grimes & Tristan Wilds as siblings ‘Annie & Dixon Wilson‘ who’ve moved from Kansas to become the new kids at ‘West Beverly Hills High School’. The much-hyped participation of original cast members like Shannen Doherty & Jennie Garth will only be in guest-starring roles. The target audience: cool-conscious 18-to-34 females, the same ones who watch “Gossip Girl”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Indie singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson (“The Way I Am”) performs.

• Amy Winehouse – She could be sued by the organizers of the “Rock En Seine“ music festival in Paris, France for pulling out just hours before she was scheduled to perform FRIDAY due to ‘illness’.
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin has confirmed they’ll release new material in DECEMBER, an EP titled “Prospects March”. A 5th studio album will follow in late 2009.
• Guns N’ Roses – Kevin Cogill (aka ‘Skwerl’), the guy who released tracks from “Chinese Democracy” on his blog, is facing up to 3 years in prison and $250,000 in fines. But is that fair? As GN’R notes in a statement, the original source of the leak is what should be investigated.
• Michael Jackson – He reportedly celebrated his 50th birthday FRIDAY by sharing a little cake with ‘his children’ and watching cartoons. Nice to see he’s a grown-up now.
• Miley Cyrus – “Project Runway” fashionista Tim Gunn says her look is ‘just a little too tarty’. Her says if he didn’t know better, he’d swear she was 25 not 15.
• Ricky Martin – Seems the woman who incubated his twin boys is a 26-year-old who works for an agency that hooks up surrogates. His babes are apparently her 3rd money-making effort, and her 2nd delivery of twins. We’re thinking, as a job, childbirth’s gotta be a tough way to make a living.
• Trace Adkins – The country star is planning another trip to the Persian Gulf to visit troops as part of a tour sponsored by the USO and Armed Forces Entertainment. His previous USO tour of the Persian Gulf took place in 2002.

• “Then She Found Me” ( Dramedy ): Helen Hunt stars and makes her feature film directing debut in this story of a NYC schoolteacher who hits a midlife crisis when, in quick succession, her husband leaves, her adoptive mother dies, and her biological mother who’s an eccentric talk show host shows up. Co-stars Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, and Colin Firth.
• “Married Life” (Dark Comedy ) – Chris Cooper plays a 1940s-era adulterous husband who falls for a younger woman (Rachel McAdams), then plots his wife’s death because … he doesn’t want to put her through the pain of a divorce. Co-stars Patricia Clarkson and Pierce Brosnan.
• Also released TODAY: “Cirque Du Soleil: Corteo” (performance); “Desperate Housewives: The Complete 4th Season – Sizzling Secrets Edition” (TV); “Eli Stone: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Ghost Whisperer: The 3rd Season” (TV); “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown – Remastered Deluxe Edition” (Animation); “The Office: Season 4” (TV); and “Supernatural: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV).

The term for misheard song lyrics is ‘mondegreens’, coined by writer Sylvia Wright in a 1954 article for “Harper’s” magazine. Based on a recent survey of 2,000 music fans commissioned by a hearing aid retailer, the most misheard song lyrics are those of a tune by The Police called “When the World is Running Down”. Many interpret the words “You make the best of what’s still around” as “You make the best homemade stew around”. The same survey finds that when listening to The Beatles’ “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds”, some hear “the girl with kaleidoscope eyes” as “the girl with colitis goes by”. An amazing archive of mondegreens (“Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze”) is listed here …
NET: http://www.kissthisguy.com
– “Daily Mail”

A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 94% of women find the physiques of male bodybuilders ‘extremely repulsive’.
• 80% of married men say they would wed the same woman if they had it to do all over again.
• 60% of men will admit to spitting in public.
• 54% of women buy themselves flowers at least once a month.
• 44% of kids watch television before they go to sleep.
• 42% of people think the best invention of all-time is the toothbrush.

Chilean artist Alejandra Prieto’s artworks include a chair made of sausages, another made of fish skin and chocolate bars, and a sofa made of jam. She says she likes to use food as a medium because of its diversity in color and texture, and because it gives off a ‘poetic vibe’. Her artwork has been exhibited at Die Ecke Gallery in Santiago. (And also sold in the cafeteria.)
– “Las Ultimas Noticias”

Great job opportunities, excellent schools, and booming housing markets make some of the USA’s smallest cities ideal to live in. According to a recent ranking, here are 5 of the best …
• Plymouth MN
• Naperville IL
• Norman OK
• Round Rock TX
• Ellicott City MD
– Gomestic.com

Dermatologist Richard Fried says emotional stress has been linked to severe acne episodes and certain factors in a teen’s life such as getting ready to go back-to-school, trying out for a sports team, or trying to fit into a social clique can cause anxiety and distress. So, skin-wise, back-to-school is not an ideal period in a typical teen’s life. (Most needed back-to-school supply: paper bag for over the head.)
– “Women’s Health Weekly”

• People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain. (As well as soiled underwear.)
• The food that is digested in your stomach is called ‘chyme’, rhymes with ‘time’. (As in “You’re full of chyme” or “That’s a pile of bull chyme!”)
• In a month, a fingernail grows an 8th of an inch. (“So [co-host … it’s been like 5 months, huh?”)
• Alcohol beverages have all 13 minerals necessary for human life. (Also everything needed to cause death.)
• It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum part of the brain warns the rest of the organ that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation. (Unless you surprise yourself and poke an armpit while sleeping.)
– GreatFacts.com

1943 [65] Glen Sather, High River AB, NY Rangers President-General Manager since 2000/former Edmonton Oilers GM/coach (4 Stanley Cups)

1948 [60] Terry Bradshaw, Shreveport LA, sports analyst (“FOX NFL Sunday”)/Hall of Fame NFL QB (Pittsburgh Steelers 1970-83, 4 Super Bowl titles)/Pro Football Hall of Fame (1989)

1951 [57] Mark Harmon, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ on “Navy NCIS” since 2003)/movie actor (“Freaky Friday”)

1959 [49] Guy Laliberté, Québec City QC, billionaire founder & CEO of Cirque du Soleil

1964 [44] Keanu Reeves, Beirut, Lebanon [grew up in Toronto], movie actor (“The Matrix” trilogy, “The Devil’s Advocate”)

1966 [42] Salma Hayek, Coatzacoalcos, Mexico, movie actress (“Across the Universe”, “Frida”)/TV producer (“Ugly Betty”)

1973 [35] Jason Blake, Moorhead MN, NHL winger (Toronto Maple Leafs)

1980 [28] Dany Sabourin, Val-d’Or QC, NHL goaltender (Pittsburgh Penguins)

1987 [21] Spencer Smith, Summerlin NV, rock drummer (Panic At the Disco-“Nine In the Afternoon”, “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”)

• “Blueberry Popsicle Day”, a celebration of the flavor that leaves your lips and tongue looking like some kind of purple-fleshed alien.

• “National Beheading Day”. Not sure what you’re supposed to do to celebrate … just don’t lose your head over it.

• “National Day of Vietnam”, celebrating independence from Japan and France in 1945.

• “Ramadan” begins, the annual month-long Muslim fast celebrated worldwide. The name comes from the 9th month of the Islamic calendar. The devout forego food during daylight hours for the entire time. Fasting is meant to teach believers patience and humility. Ramadan concludes with a 3-day feast known as “Eid ul-Fitr”.
NET: http://www.holidays.net/ramadan

1995 [13] Grand opening of Cleveland’s “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” is celebrated with a 7-hour concert featuring Bruce Springsteen, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Martha & the Vandellas, John Mellencamp, and oodles more

490 BC [2498] 1st ‘Marathon’ as Phidippides runs 26 miles from Marathon to Sparta (seeking a men’s room?)

1912 [96] American rodeo showman Guy Weadick stages the 1st “Calgary Stampede”, called “The Last & Best Great West Frontier Days Celebration” (back when it really was ‘Cow Town’)

1969 [39] 1st ‘Automatic Teller Machine’ is installed in Rockville Center NY

1964 [44] Norman Manley scores 2 holes-in-one consecutively at Del Valley CA, the first recorded ‘Double Albatross’ (or ‘Double Ace’) in golf

[Wed] Skyscraper Day
[Thurs] Newspaper Carriers Day
[Thurs] Cheese Pizza Day
[Thurs] Ganesh Chaturth (Hindu)
[Thurs] 33rd Toronto International Film Festival begins
[Thurs] “NFL Kickoff ‘08” (NYC)
[Thurs] 8th BMI Urban Awards (LA)
[Fri] 4th Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC)

Child Injury Prevention Week / Emergency Care Week / Financial Services Week / Full Employment Week / Payroll Week / Religious Reference Books Week / Self-University Week / Waffle Week

Tired of trying to find a “Hannah Montana” backpack? These celeb-themed back-to-school supplies are far less in demand …
• “Tori Spelling Bad Spelling Mistake Avoider Book” – The write-gooder-sentences reference guide for kids who can’t even spell ‘dictionary’.
• “Kevin Federline Crayons” – Watch your tyke draw his own money while dreaming of the day he too can make a living by impregnating unstable pop tarts.
• “Jessica Simpson Not the Sharpest Pencil In the Box Pencils” – Manufacturer not responsible for students who accidentally stab themselves in the eye.
• “Marky Mark Markers” – If you’re finding “High School Musical” products are sold out, check out this week’s deep discount special … unless he decides to make a musical comeback like his New Kids older brother.
• “Billy Ray Cyrus Calculator” – The very same model used by Billy Ray when he figgers out how much moolah Miley will make before she turns legal.
• “Grease Pencils” – So hot 30 years ago you couldn’t find them anywhere. Now they’re a dime a dozen … literally. But you’ll have to explain to your kid who John Travolta is.
• “Nicole Richie Lunch Box” – Got an overweight kid? Get the little porker one of these stylin’ micro-food containers that are so small, they don’t hold hardly anything. If that doesn’t do the trick, the talent-free star’s portrait on the side would just about make anyone lose their lunch.
– adapted from “Toronto Star”

Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to say is … “Get this gag out of my mouth!”

Today’s Question: 56% of people who corrected a problem by doing THIS say their love life also improved.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wearing contact lenses.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Welcome to Kevin & Bill @ “The Majik 100 Morning Show” [CJMJ] Ottawa ON who are onboard with “BS” for the next year; and we salute samplers that currently include Jim Kelly @ Wave 106, Alicante, Spain; Lawrence Dittinger @ Z92 [WZAC] Danville WV; Harley Myles @ 101.5 WQUT Tri-Cities Classic Rock, Johnson City TN; Darrel Angers @ The Eagle 93.5 [CJEL] Winkler MB; and Deb Frye @  98.5 KISS FM [WDAI] Murrells Inlet SC.

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