Tuesday, September 1, 2009        Edition: #4091
Sheet Happens!


After 26 years of teaching kids, “Reading Rainbow” (PBS) is being cancelled, not from lack of interest but lack of funding (was it still pertinent or passé?) . . . “Halloween II” director Rob Zombie will next write, direct & produce a remake of the 1958 horror classic, “The Blob”, about a glob-like creature that emerges from a meteorite crash to consume humans and thereby swell to a monstrous size (Rob’s the new Wes Craven) . . . A source in Britain’s “The Sun” claims “Home Alone” actor Macaulay Culkin is the biological dad of Michael Jackson’s youngest son Prince Michael II, known as ‘Blanket’, reportedly donating sperm for an unknown surrogate mother when he was 22-years-old (is there any famous guy left who didn’t made a donation?) . . . The Hollywood Hills house that served as home to Adrian Grenier’s character during the first 2 seasons of “Entourage” (HBO) has fallen victim to the recent California wildfires which engulfed it in flames & smoke (that would’ve made a good episode!) . . . Movie star George Clooney’s relationship with Italian MTV host Elisabetta Canalis is heating up, “Daily Express” reporting that he’s asked her to move to Los Angeles with him (Elisabetta Clooney – sounds funny) . . . And thanks to her producer-hubby Ashton Kutcher, 46-year-old actress Demi Moore will have a recurring role on the upcoming TV series “The Beautiful Life” (CW), playing an ex-model obsessed with plastic surgery (wow, what a stretch … mark).


• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – The first 10 acts from the top 20 perform.
• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – TI (“King”).
• “Guitar Hero 5” – The latest edition of the popular videogame is released. New playable characters include Garbage singer Shirley Manson, late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, and Muse singer/guitarist Matt Bellamy.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Datarock (“Red”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Method Man & Redman (“Blackout 2”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Black Crowes (“Before the Frost … Until the Freeze”, released today).
• “Surviving Disaster” (Spike) – Series premiere of a new show that gives tips on surviving a variety of predicaments, from gunmen in a mall to a fire in a high-rise office building. Tonight’s episode is about airplane highjacking. Hosted by former Navy SEAL Cade Courtley.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Cheap Trick performs “Sick Man Of Europe”.

• Drake – The new rap sensation (real name Aubrey Graham) says reports of a romance with Rihanna are untrue, insisting their collaboration is strictly professional.
• Madonna – Tonight & tomorrow she plays Tel Aviv, Israel, closing down her 2-year “Sticky & Sweet World Tour”. She last performed in the country in 1993; then made a private pilgrimage to Israel in 2004 to visit gravesites of Jewish sages.
• Oasis – It’s estimated Noel Gallagher’s quitting last Friday has already cost the band $7.12 million in appearance fees and merchandise sales.
• Rolling Stones – Police in Sussex UK have been handed new info regarding the death of former guitarist Brian Jones who was found at the bottom of a swimming pool 40 years ago. Thanks to the new evidence, his case will be reviewed.


• “Earth” ( Documentary ): 3-part Disneynature series narrated by James Earl Jones that follows a mother polar bear & her 2 cubs in the Arctic; a herd of African elephants crossing the Kalahari Desert in Africa; and a humpback whale & her calf on a 4,000-mile migration. Also available in a 2-disc ‘Blu-ray Hi-Def/DVD Combo Pack’.
• “State of Play” ( Thriller ): Ben Affleck stars as an up-and-coming US congressman whose research assistant (also his mistress) is murdered. Russell Crowe plays a star reporter trying to uncover the truth about what happened. Co-stars Rachel McAdams & Helen Mirren. Based on a 2003 BBC-TV mini-series. (Which was at least partly inspired by the 2001 case of US Congressman Gary Condit & missing White House intern Chandra Levy. Condit was eventually vindicated and a Salvadoran immigrant charged with the crime.)
• “Sugar” ( Sports Drama ): Algenis Perez Soto plays Dominican baseball star Miguel ‘Sugar’ Santos, a talented pitcher who just might have what it takes to earn a spot on a Major League Baseball team. But before that happens he’ll have to prove his worth in the minor leagues. Shot in Phoenix AZ and San Pedro de Macoris, Dominican Republic. The movie was screened at several film festivals but never achieved wide release in theaters.
• Also out today: “All In the Family: The Complete 2nd-5th Seasons” (vintage TV); “Ben 10 Alien Force: Season 1, Volume 4” (animation); “Brothers & Sisters: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Desperate Housewives: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie” (animation); “Rescue Me: Season 5, Volume 1” (TV); “Supernatural: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); and “Unwigged & Unplugged: An Evening With Christopher Guest, Michael McKean & Harry Shearer” (concert).

Starting today ‘robocalls’ from telemarketers will be illegal in the USA. Businesses that try to push products on consumers with automated and unsolicited calls will face fines of up to $16,000 per call, according to the Federal Trade Commission. FTC Chairman Jon Leibowitz says American consumers have made it clear that few things annoy them more than the billions of commercial telemarketing robocalls they receive each year. Offenders can be reported either by phone or online. (We need this here!)
– CNN.com


Fitness expert Andy Darling says you don’t have to sweat it out in the gym to stay fit. Some alternatives he suggests …
• Wear less. You’ll have to burn calories to create your own body heat.
• Always stand when traveling on public transit. The gentle rolling motion is a good workout for muscles that girdle the lower spine.
• Whenever possible use regular doors instead of automatic ones. Pushing a door uses the triceps, shoulder & chest muscles.
• Crumple your newspaper after reading it to work finger and wrist muscles, thereby helping to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome.
• Carry objects at arm’s length whenever you can. Keeping the arms fully extended is good for the shoulders, abs & chest muscles.
– “Herald-Sun”

Child care centers are often as useful to parents as kids when it comes to making friends and building a support network, according to a new University of Chicago study. Researchers say child care centers have an overlooked function – connecting parents with each other as informal advisers on parenting. Sociologist Mario Small claims when you are a parent, particularly a first-time parent, the best resource you can have is another parent. (He’s still alive … so apparently he’s never actually offered someone advice on how to raise their child.)
– Reuters

• “Bacon Busters” – Australia’s top hog-hunting magazine. You mean there’s more than one?
• “A Bear’s Life” – A publication devoted solely to hairy gay men.
• “Cowboys & Indians” – Nothing dated or vaguely racist about this magazine, no siree.
• “Crappie World Magazine” – All about a type of freshwater fish highly sought by sportsmen.
• “Garden & Gun” – In case your garden gnomes have been getting on your nerves?
• “Girls & Corpses” – Horror stories & hot babes … perfect for the 13-year-old boy demographic.
• “Miniature Donkey Talk” – This guide for miniature donkey owners has been around 21 years.
• “Model Airplane News” – Um, news about model airplanes has never been a lead story.
• “Sheep!” – This bi-monthly all about the woolies includes the news column ‘Newsbleat’.
• “Y’all” – The magazine for Southern folk. Not to be confused with sister publications “If-N”, “I Reckon”, and “You Boys Ain’t From Around Here”.
– Asylum.com

According to a new ranking of most expensive zip codes, the priciest neighborhood in the USA is Alpine NJ, home of celebs like Chris Rock, Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, and Stevie Wonder. About 20 miles from Manhattan, Alpine (zip code 07620) is a small community of sprawling mansions with a median asking price of $4.14 million. Atherton CA (94027) is the 2nd-most-expensive, with a median asking price for homes of $3.85 million; followed by NYC’s West Village (10014) with a $3.5-million median asking price. (Recession, what recession?)
– Forbes.com

Technology isn’t killing our ability to write, it’s reviving it. That’s the bottom line of a new Stanford University study that suggests young people today write far more than any generation before them. That’s because so much socializing takes place online, and it almost always involves text. Seems all those Twitter updates and lists of 25 things about yourself add up. Before the Internet came along, most young people never wrote anything that wasn’t a school assignment. (Now, let’s talk about spelling …)
– “Wired”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 53% of women will talk to friends about what’s stressing them out, but only 29% of men.
• 33% of parents now send their kids to school with a hand sanitizer.
• 32% of employees say they would NOT be comfortable if their boss tried to befriend them.
• 20% of women say they are attracted to a man who has a beer belly.
• 13% of women say their favorite comfort food is mashed potatoes.
• 7% of Internet users search for medical & health information on any given day.

The human brain runs on only about 20 watts of power, equal to the little light behind the pickle jar in your refrigerator. By contrast, the computer on your desk consumes a million times as much energy per calculation. If you wanted to build a robot with a processor as intelligent as the human brain, it would require 10-to-20 megawatts of electricity. (It seems [co-host] has become unplugged this morning.)
– “Discover Magazine”

Throw them in the trash? No way! Why not …
• Compost – Eggshells quickly decompose in the compost pile and add valuable calcium and other minerals to the soil in the process.
• Nontoxic Pest Control – Crushed eggshells around plants help deter plant-eating slugs, snails, and cutworms. Also, deer hate the smell of eggs.
• Less Bitter Coffee – Add an eggshell to the coffee filter and your morning coffee will be better, not bitter.
• Eco-Friendly Abrasive – Crushed eggshells mixed with soapy water can be used as a nontoxic abrasive on pots & pans.
• Treat Skin Irritations – Dissolve an eggshell in a small jar of apple cider vinegar (takes about 2 days) and use the mixture to treat minor skin irritations and itchy skin.
• Egg On Your Face – Pulverize dried eggshells, then whisk the powder with an egg white and use for a healthful, skin-tightening facial. Allow the face mask to dry before rinsing it off.
– TheDailyGreen.com


A sheep has sold for a world record $376,200 at a Scottish livestock auction. ‘Deveronvale Perfection’, a Texel breed admired by his new owner for his ‘great body & strong loin’, will be used for breeding. Experts are predicting the tup (farming term for an uncastrated sheep) will prove a bargain over the long run for its new owner. (The ram pimp.)
– Yahoo! News


According to “In Your Purse” by Kelly Styring, the average woman owns 10 purses and the average purse contains 67 items and weighs 3.4 lbs.
NET: http://www.inyourpurse.com


1946 [63] Barry Gibb, Isle of Man UK, falsetto oldies singer (Bee Gees-“Stayin’ Alive”, “To Love Somebody”)

1950 [59] Dr Phil (McGraw), Vinita OK, daytime TV talk show host (“Dr Phil” since 2002)/author (“Relationship Rescue”)  FACTOID: He’s only a ‘doctor’ due to a PhD in psychology.

1957 [52] Gloria Estefan (Fajardo), Havana, Cuba, oldies singer (“Music of My Heart”, “Anything For You”)

1971 [38] Ricardo Chavira, San Antonio TX, TV actor (‘Carlos Solis’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1984 [25] Joe Trohman, Hollywood FL, rock guitarist (Fall Out Boy-“Thnks fr th Mmrs”, “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race”)

• “Building Code Staff Appreciation Day”, honoring those important personnel who would never take a bribe and allow shoddy construction to take place … honest!

• “Exclamation Day!” Wow! Exciting, isn’t it!

• “First Day of Spring” in Australia & New Zealand, so designated by tradition not any relation to the Vernal Equinox.


1999 [10] Canadian ‘Specialty Channels’ debut, including ‘Star!’, ‘Canadian Learning Television’, ‘Report on Business Television’ and ‘Aboriginal Peoples Television Network’

2006 [03] Luxembourg becomes the first country to complete the move to all digital television broadcasting

1984 [25] “What’s Love Got To Do With It” by Tina Turner hits #1 on the pop singles chart

1995 [14] Cleveland’s ‘Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’ is dedicated

[Wed] Blueberry Popsicle Day
[Wed] National Beheading Day
[Thurs] Michael Jackson’s most recent burial date
[Fri] Newspaper Carrier Day
[Fri] “All About Steve”; “Carriers”; “Extract”; “Gamer” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … International Enthusiasm Week
This Month Is … Library Card Sign-Up Month


• Are next Monday’s pre-natal classes cancelled because it’s Labor Day?
• What do people in China call their good plates?
• How do wealthy rappers stay so angry?
• Can’t only 50% of the population be overweight?
• If moths eat wool sweaters, why don’t they eat sheep?
• Do people with psychic powers get nostalgic about next week?
• If a dog’s bark is worse than his bite, why don’t hospitals have to report dog bark wounds?


Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Why?


Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, THIS is typically the food item that has been in the average home freezer longest.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A pot pie.


The best things in life aren’t things.

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