Tuesday, September 22, 2009        Edition: #4105
100% Grade A Bull!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

Liza Marquez, ex-girlfriend of actor David Caruso (“CSI: Miami”), has now agreed that her lawsuit accusing him of ‘intentional infliction of emotional distress’ can be dismissed and he doesn’t need to pay her $1.2 million as demanded (whoa, do we have mood swings?) . . . Former model Kathy Ireland has revealed that the celebs on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) have been told that for some shows they have to wear their own clothes, something she wasn’t prepared for (c’mon you stole runway dresses for years, admit it!) . . . Actress Amanda Bynes (“Hairspray”) is denying reports she’s dating “Day ‘n’ Nite” rapper Kid Cudi, insisting they are just friends (BS translation: They’ll be wed next week right after the first baby, then divorced by October) . . . 57-year-old “America’s Got Talent” judge David Hasselhoff has apparently relapsed again, being hospitalized for 24 hours after his 17-year-old daughter called emergency services when he apparently collapsed during a heavy drinking session – in the middle of the afternoon (this is not in the ‘How to Dad’ manual, dude) . . . And  62-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood has moved into a $6,500-a-week castle with his 20-year-old on & off Russian girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova, agreeing to give their relationship one more chance – especially now that she’s begun threatening to sell a tell-all tale about their January-December relationship (geez man, quit thinking below the waist!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Paolo Nutini (“These Streets”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kid Cudi (“Man On the Moon: The End of Day”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Reba McEntire (“Keep On Loving You”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Diamond Rio – Today an autobiography about the veteran country band entitled “Beautiful Mess” is published.
• Keith Urban – Wife Nicole Kidman says she sometimes joins him on his motorcycle for a road trip but fans are unlikely to recognize them because they always wear full-face helmets.
• Lady Antebellum – Their #1 country hit “I Run to You” is being sung by a group of meerkats in a new TV commercial for a financial services company.
• Lee Ann Womack – Tonight she hosts the 2nd annual “ACM Honors” in Nashville, which recognize off-camera category winners from the 44th “Academy of Country Music Awards” that took place in Las Vegas in April.
• Nelly Furtado – She says she took her 5-year-old daughter’s advice when recording her new Spanish-language album “Mi Plan”. The kindergartner’s tip? Too many slow songs, the fast one’s are better. So Nelly went back into the studio and did more fast songs.
• Smashing Pumpkins – New drummer Mike Byrne is only 19, so Billy Corgan checked to make sure the new gig was okay with his parents. Then the kid has to quit his day job … at McDonalds.
• Three Days Grace – Today they release their 3rd studio album, “Life Starts Now”.

FENDING OFF FLU:

As flu season arrives, here are a few timely tips on how to fight it …
• Make it a house rule that hand-washing is the first thing everyone does when entering your home.
• One of the most common ways we catch flu & colds is by rubbing the nose or eyes with hands that have been contaminated by a virus. So keep your hands away from your face.
• Try to maintain a ‘body bubble’ of about 3 feet of space between yourself and someone who’s sneezing and/or coughing.
• When possible, open a few windows. Germs like stagnant air, so get the air moving.
• If a person sitting near you at work is sick and isn’t wearing a face mask, consider wearing one yourself.
• Push elevator buttons with your elbow. On an escalator, lean your forearm on the handrail.
– “San Diego Union-Tribune”

TOP DOGS FOR FAMILIES:
According to pet experts, these are the best breeds to have as family dogs …
5. Schnauzer – Thrives on human companionship and comes in 3 different sizes.
4. Irish Setter – Has a natural aptitude as a companion and is always eager to please.
3. West Highland White Terrier – A good watchdog and faithful friend.
2. Welsh Corgi – This stocky short-tailed breed loves romping with kids.
1. Golden Retriever – An excellent choice for families that enjoy lots of outdoor activities.
The experts warn, however, that while the list serves as a good guideline, individual dogs have their own personality no matter what their breed. (We say pound puppies are best!)
– PetPlace.com

SCHOOL DAZE:
• London UK – A new government study has found that thousands of untrained personnel are being hired as ‘cheap labor’ in public school classrooms to cover for absent teachers, including former soldiers, security guards, even bouncers. They’re being used in the toughest schools where it is often difficult to recruit substitute teachers.
– PA News
• Chicago IL – Before a young woman can follow her decision to become a Catholic nun, she must first get herself out of debt. The former Loyola University student is facing the same problem that plagues many graduates: massive student loans, in her case $94,000-worth. So she’s forced to raise funds any way she can, including finding sponsors for her to run a recent half-marathon. Ironically, you can’t pledge a vow of poverty when you have a bunch of debt.
– “Los Angeles Times”

ARBOR AMPS:

Researchers have figured out a way to plug into the power generated by trees. After spending the summer surveying trees, MIT researchers have discovered that bigleaf maple trees generate a steady voltage of up to a few hundred millivolts. Powering a circuit, however, requires much more, so they’ve built a boost converter capable of picking up as little as a 20 millivolt output and storing it to produce a greater output. By hooking it up to a tree using electrodes, the custom-built device is able to generate an output voltage of 1.1 volts, enough to run low-power sensors. (We can’t figure out where the heck you plug in your extension cord.)
– LiveScience.com

ROCK VS HAIR, WHO’S DUMBEST?

Megan Fox has been branded ‘dumb as a rock’ by crew members from the set of “Transformers 2”. That reminds us that Avril Lavigne was once described as being ‘as dumb as a box of hair’. So which is dumbest, rock or hair? Let’s check it out …
• Dumb-As-a-Rock Fox:
– “I still pee in the swimming pool. It’s full of chlorine; that kills all the bacteria as soon as you do it.”
– “If I really buckle down, I think one day I could be a very good actress. But so far, I haven’t done anything yet.”
– “If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like you can smell the warmth in the fart.”
• Dumb-As-a-Box-of-Hair Lavigne:
– “I created punk for this day and age. Do you see Britney walking around wearing ties and singing punk? Hell no. That’s what I do. I’m like a Sid Vicious for a new generation.”
– “I’m getting more famouser by the day.”
– “It’s important to be thankful, even if you’re poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water.
Well, OK, not people in the developing world …”
[Final score: Hair covers Rock.]
– Adapted from PopBitch.com.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 80% of men would prefer an overweight woman to a bitchy one.
• 59% of women think they weigh too much, while only 37% of men do.
• 49% of office workers admit they’ve gotten through a dull meeting by imagining the boss or co-workers not wearing anything.
• 43% of us believe in ‘lucky numbers’.
• 20% of married men and 15% of married women are currently cheating on their spouses.
• 18% of us say we’d continue to use cellphones for talk and/or text even if it became illegal.

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to new Princeton University research, men are generally happier than women for the first time since the 1970s.
– “New York Times”
• Tyler Perry’s ‘Madea’ character has now been in 10 films, if you count direct-to-DVD movies.
– Asylum.com

BS CHRONOMETER 09.22.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [51] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico, Italy, operatic singer (“The Prayer”)

1958 [51] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”)

1961 [48] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, TV talk show host (“The Bonnie Hunt Show” since 2008)/movie actress (“Cars”, “Cheaper by the Dozen” films)

1975 [34] Ethan Moreau, Huntsville ON, NHL forward/team captain (Edmonton Oilers)

1987 [22] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in “Harry Potter” films)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Business Women’s Day”, celebrating the important contribution of working women and women business owners. (The term ‘working women’ sounds a tad passé now, no?)

• “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more. (Which will soon be most of us!)

• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Until someone sneaky finds your diary and reads all your deepest, darkest secrets.)

• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, to celebrate the world’s most interesting and noble endangered land animal.

• “First Day of Autumn” in the Northern Hemisphere as the Autumnal Equinox occurs at 5:18 pm EDT. Studies show we eat an average of 12.5% more during Autumn than any other season.

• “Good Neighbor Day”, dedicated to developing positive relationships with those next door.

• “Hobbit Day”, commemorating JRR Tolkein and the birthdays of his characters ‘Frodo’ & ‘Bilbo Baggins’. On this date in the year 3001 of the 3rd Age, Shire Reckoning, the 2 characters celebrated their shared birthday. ‘Bilbo’ was 111 and ‘Frodo’ was 33.

• “OneWebDay”, the 3rd annual global celebration of online life. The goal is to create and make visible a global constituency that cares about the future of the Internet.
NET: http://my.onewebday.org

• “White Chocolate Day”, honoring the tasty confection of sugar, cocoa butter, and milk solids. It first appeared in Switzerland in the 1930s when Nestlé invented it to use up excess cocoa butter. To qualify as real ‘white chocolate’, the product must be at least 20% cocoa butter by weight.

• “World Carfree Day”. Wow, free cars? No silly, it’s an annual effort to help create permanent change to benefit pedestrians, cyclists, and other people who do not drive cars.
NET: http://www.worldcarfree.net/wcfd

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [20] “Baywatch” debuts on NBC-TV (is later cancelled but returns in syndication to become world’s most-watched TV show for a time)

1994 [15] The sitcom “Friends” debuts (NBC) and begins a frenzy for the ‘Rachel’ hairstyle worn by star Jennifer Aniston

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1954 [55] 1st ‘Pina Colada’ is concocted (rum, coconut cream & unsweetened pineapple juice) by Ramon ‘Monchito’ Marrero, a bartender at the Caribe Hilton Hotel in San Juan who wanted to capture all the flavors of Puerto Rico in a single drink

1986 [23] ‘The Wave’ (originally called the ‘Mexican Wave’) first achieves widespread popularity in stadiums during the World Cup soccer finals in Mexico City

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Punctuation Day
[Thurs] Beer Days begin
[Thurs] Guinness Brewery 250th Anniversary
[Fri] Hug a Vegetarian Day
[Fri] One-Hit Wonder Day
This Week Is … Adult Immunization Awareness Week
This Month Is … Update Your Résumé Month

BULL’S BITS


BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Today your name could become a household word … but only if you change it to Metamucil.
• Taurus – Today you’ll start a new rock group named ‘SPAM Catapult’ and record a really smokin’ number combining the best aspects of reggae, rap, and polka.
• Gemini – Don’t let your friend’s happiness get you down.
• Cancer – Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
• Leo – Your window of opportunity is rapidly closing. Watch your fingers!
• Virgo – Beware of strangers bearing Cheez Whiz.
• Libra – Today is an excellent day to do something new with bean curd!
• Scorpio – Time to do something about that high blood pressure. Have you tried leeches?
• Sagittarius – Don’t give up on your dream! There’s likely millions of bonsai enthusiasts out there who’ll want to buy your itsy-bitsy little chainsaws.
• Capricorn – Time to give up on your trailblazing fashion ideas. Wearing golf shoes indoors just isn’t catching on.
• Aquarius – Someone you’ve never met will come up and nudge you today. You don’t have to stand for that. Nudge them right back!
• Pisces – A little slip-up now could bite you in the butt later and we don’t mean in that good way that leads to a little nibble there, a little glide of the tongue there and then a full-blown … er, what was I talking about?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut-up’.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Who was pictured in the first naked photo transmitted over the Internet?
a. Madonna
b. Marilyn Monroe
c. Margaret Thatcher
[The first nude photo was uploaded by a registered user of the ‘Alter-Net’ Adults Only Areas on October 4th, 1985 and consisted of a scan of one of Madonna's nude pics from the September 1985 issue of “Playboy” magazine. The shot was immediately removed to avoid copyright issues, and a photo of the user's wife in a matching pose left in it's place.]
– NakedWorldRecords.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity, whom would you pick?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: The average office worker does THIS about 700 times a week.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hits the ‘delete’ key on their computer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

A small good deed is better then the grandest intention.


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