Wednesday, September 12, 2007        Edition: #3611
You Really Know Your Sheet!  

If the new syndicated daytime TV gabfest “The Steve Wilkos Show” looks familiar, it’s because the host once served as one of the bodyguards who controlled guests & audience members on “The Jerry Springer Show” (ah, that explains why there’s already been screaming & brawling after just 2 days) . . . 23-year-old Nicky Hilton, the less obnoxious Hilton sister, says she’s hoping to build a fashion empire based on her new label, ‘Nicholai’, which debuted at “New York Fashion Week” (seems like it was just yesterday she was hoping to build a boutique hotel empire – ah, rich girls & their hobbies!) . . . In case you’re not entirely sick of them yet, David & Victoria Beckham have now posed in white bed linen and little else for a new ad campaign launching their new scent ‘Intimately Beckham Night’ by French perfumer Coty (who wouldn’t want to smell like a soccer player’s used bed sheets?) . . . Meantime, Victoria Beckham says she’s planning on hiring a male British nanny to look after her 3 children in California so the family doesn’t become ‘too American’ (they just want the money, not the culture) . . . One reason Britney Spears flopped at the MTV “Video Music Awards” – she turned up for rehearsals more than 4 hours late (another reason – massive muffin top) . . . He’s still warm in the grave and already late legendary tenor Luciano Pavarotti’s 2nd wife Nicoletta Mantovani is lining up against his 3 daughters in a battle royale over the estimated $500 million he left behind (where there’s a will, there’s a family!) . . . And the ‘Harry Potter’ film series has now surpassed the ‘James Bond’ flicks as the most successful movie series ever, raking in $4.5 billion in worldwide box office, compared to the $4.4 billion made by the 22 ‘Bond’ films (and there’s still 2 more ‘Potters’ to come, with “Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince” up next in 2008).

• Fleetwood Mac – It’s well known that Stevie Nicks was romantically involved with bandmates Mick Fleetwood & Lindsey Buckingham, as well as Eagles star Don Henley. But now she’s  revealed that she also had a secret 3-year affair with Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh, whom she describes as her ‘great, great love’. She also admits to blowing more than $1 million on cocaine during her hellraising heyday.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl says he’s such a technophobe, he’s ‘practically Amish’. He also admits he finds supermarket shopping an emotional experience because it reminds him of late Nirvana bandmate Kurt Cobain. Seems the two of them used to spend ‘hours’ looking at frozen dinners, trying to decide which had the most amount of food for the least amount of money. Wow, good drugs, man.
• Keith Urban – He’s announced a list of cities to be added to the “Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy Thing” tour. Although specific dates & venues are yet to be finalized, he’ll be adding Ottawa, Toronto, and London ON among others. Chicago, Pittsburgh, Buffalo & Grand Rapids MI will be among those added. Gary Allan will open the shows.
• Madonna – She’s reportedly hired a private jet to take her & other high profile Kabbalah followers on a 10-day pilgrimage to Israel in time for the Jewish New Year, “Rosh Hashanah” (see BS Reasons to Party). The group is said to include acting couple Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, and designer Donna Karan.
• Taylor Swift – Her self-titled debut album has just been certified gold in Canada, for sales of 50,000 units. She’s currently touring with Brad Paisley, playing St John NB LAST NIGHT.
• Trick Daddy (Maurice Young) – The “Let’s Go” rapper has been arrested after a brawl at a strip club in Miami and charged with disorderly intoxication and resisting arrest. He reportedly sustained minor injuries during the fight that required hospital treatment.

• The Bravery – They perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Daughtry – He sings “Over You” on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Dave Navarro – He’s a guest on “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Kenny Chesney – He promotes his just-released new album, “Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates”, on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Modest Mouse – They’re on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).

• ‘Ball’ – Urban slang for a hundred dollars. (“Yo my bro, do you have a ball-fifty I can borrow till tomorrow?”)
• ‘Four Eyes Principle’ – When a business dealing has to be approved by at least 2 individuals further up the food chain. (“I’m okay with your raise request but I’ll have to bump it upstairs for four-eyes approval.”)
• ‘Friendquest’ – Requesting someone to join your friend or buddy list on an online social network such as MySpace or Facebook. Having celebrity or ‘trophy friends’ is now seen as a social trump card. (“Like this is just a friendquest for my new Facebook page. I’ll download your new album and actually pay for it if you link me.”)
• ‘Irritainment’ – TV programs that are as annoying but compulsively addictive. (“Big Brother”? “Idol”? “Survivor”?)

Workplace phobia is a real illness requiring careful treatment, according to new research. German clinical psychologist Michael Linden says that job anxieties can cause panic, hypochondriac fears, work-related worrying, and post-traumatic stress. And those anxieties can lead to avoidance in the form of sick leave, work absenteeism, and/or early retirement. (Dude, we knew all that. Whatcha got to fix it?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Tips on putting stuff you already have around the house to other good uses. Some of them save money; some save the environment; some both …
• Use scrunched-up old plastic bags instead of bubble wrap for packing.
• Use pages from old fashion and gardening magazines for gift wrap.
• Save your jelly jars for shabby-chic drinking glasses or mini-vases.
• Remove crayon marks with WD-40.
• In a pinch, you can use dental floss for sewing.
• You can clean your toilet with Alka Seltzer. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, wait 10 minutes, then wipe.
• Use dryer sheets to freshen stinky shoes. Kitty litter also works.
• Keep your earrings together by hooking them through a button.
• Wine bottles can make your boots stand upright and maintain their shape.
• Makeup brushes can clean your computer keyboard.
• Brush your teeth with baking soda. It’s cheaper than buying the toothpaste with soda added.
• Shave your legs with olive oil.
• Hand lotion can be used to shine shoes.
– “Woman’s Day”

Researchers have discovered that – contrary to what you might think – yawning is actually a sign that someone is highly aware of the social world around them. A new study from the University of Leeds finds that infectious yawning is strongly linked to empathy, with those who are good empathizers yawning about 3 times as often as those with lesser developed social skills. (That’s why there’s all that yawning in staff meetings – we’re fascinated with each other.)
– “Times of London”

A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 93% of us now have a credit card.
• 85% of us still have a landline telephone.
• 64% of us have told our partners they’re ‘sexy’.
• 60% of men & 47% of women will do at least some work on their next day off.
• 47% of adults call their parents once a week; 32% of us do it every single day.
• 39% of good looking people are judged to be more ‘helpful’ than average-looking people.

Onychophagy or nail-biting is more than a bad habit, it’s one of the most common symptoms of stress and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. It’s estimated the world’s pathological nail-biters number over 600 million, including around 45% of adolescents. Dutch marketing guru Alain-Raymond van Abbe sees those numbers as opportunity. He’s put together a $670, four-week course of treatment that involves the use of a tooth guard, molded to fit either the upper or lower teeth. Barely visible, the ‘Preventer’ makes it impossible to bite but can be removed for eating. And yes, he says, some of his clients forgo fingernails because their personal jones involves biting their … toenails. (Give that a try and see if you don’t throw out your back.)
– AP

5. “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi – The sound of thousands of amped-up fans attempting to imitate that gnarly talk-box guitar effect is simply too much to take after 3 orders of nachos w/gooey cheese-colored substance.
4. “Song 2” by Blur – There just has to be a better song containing the participatory lyric ‘woo hoo!’. Even Kool & the Gang did it better (as in “Celebrate”).
3. “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba – Being able to sing ‘pissing the night away’ really loud was really cool … in 1997.
2. “Rock & Roll, Pt. 2” (aka “The Hey Song”) by Gary Glitter – The NFL has already poo-pooed this drum-heavy, 35-year-old anthem by a convicted pedophile. So why’s it keep coming up?
1. “We Will Rock You” by Queen – The whole ‘stomp-stomp-clap!’ thing is vaguely fascist, don’t ya think? It’s also from 1977. Has there not been an inspirational get-ya-off-yer-ass tune since?
– “Blender Magazine”

• A number of San Francisco Bay Area educators have formed a rock band called the Angry Tired Teachers.
– “San Francisco Chronicle”
• Over her lifetime, the average woman will own 111 purses.
– “Daily Mail”
• According to a new Gallup Poll, employees admit to wasting an average of 1 hour at work each day. And, on average, they believe their co-workers waste an hour-and-a-half.
– “Toronto Star”


1931 [76] George Jones (aka ‘Possum’), Saratoga TX, country legend (“He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today”) with over 150 charted singles during his 50-year career/National Medal of the Arts (2002)/Grammy Hall of Fame Award (1998)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1992)

1952 [55] Neil Peart, Hamilton ON, rock drummer (Rush-“Far Cry”, “Test for Echo”)

1966 [41] Ben Folds, Winston-Salem NC, pop singer (“Annie Waits”, Ben Folds Five-“Brick”)

1973 [34] Paul Walker, Glendale CA, movie actor (“Flags of Our Fathers”, “The Fast & the Furious”)

1974 [33] Jennifer Nettles, Douglas GA, country singer (Sugarland-“Settlin’”, w/Bon Jovi-“Who Says You Can’t Go Home”)

1978 [29] Ruben Studdard, Birmingham AL, “American Idol 2” winner (“Make Ya Feel Beautiful”)

1978 [29] Benjamin McKenzie, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Ryan Atwood’ on “The OC” 2003-07)

1980 [27] Yao Ming, Shanghai, China, NBA’s tallest basketball player at 7 ft-6 in (Houston Rockets since 2002)/5-time NBA All-Star

1981 [26] Jennifer Hudson, Chicago IL, movie actress (2007 Academy Award-“Dreamgirls”)/pop singer (“American Idol 3”)  UP NEXT: Plays the assistant to Sarah Jessica Parker’s ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ character in “Sex & the City: The Movie”, which begins filming NEXT WEEK in NYC.

• “Day of Conception“ in Ulyanovsk, a Russian region 900 km east of Moscow, the 3rd annual regional holiday that gives couples a half-day off work in order to go home and make babies. The hope is for a slew of newborns exactly 9 months later on Russia’s national day (JUNE 12). Couples who ‘give birth to a patriot’ can win money, cars, TVs, refrigerators & other prizes.

• “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. Kelis’ is better than yours.

• “International Housekeepers Week”, honoring the efforts of all household staff. So be sure to give your servants an extra day off.

• “International Video Games Day”, a day for kids who love ’em to celebrate and thank the parents who fork out the cash for an X-Box, PlayStation or Wii.

• “Respect for the Aged Day” in Japan, where the number of people living past the age of 100 is increasing dramatically. The current number of Japanese centenarians has climbed beyond 20,000. 40 years back there were only about 150.

• “Rosh Hashanah” (‘Head of the Year’), the celebration of the Jewish New Year starting at sundown (through sundown tomorrow), marking the beginning of the year 5,768. It’s also called the ‘Feast of the Trumpets’, as the blowing of a shofar (ram’s horn) announces the beginning of celebrations. Traditional Jewish foods that accompany the observance include challah bread, apples dipped in honey, and tzimmes (TZIM’-ess), a mixture of carrots, cinnamon, yams, prunes & honey.

1983 [24] Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a US citizen, 14 years after emigrating from Austria (step 1 on the road to the presidency)

2003 [04] Music icon Johnny Cash dies at age 71 of heart failure at Nashville’s Baptist Hospital, stemming from complications from diabetes

1994 [13] Mosaic Communications introduces ‘Netscape’, the 1st Internet browser (Mosaic’s ‘Firefox’ is now the state-of-the-art)

1983 [24] Albert Rizzo of Malta sets ‘World Treading Water Record’ at 108 hours, 9 minutes in
the ocean (that’s 4.5 days!)

[Thurs] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
[Thurs] Computer Programmers Day
[Fri] “Across the Universe”; “The Brave One”; “Eastern Promises”; “The Hunting Party”; “Mr Woodcock” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Pregnant Women’s Day
[Fri] International Cross-Culture Day
[Fri] International Shellfish Festival (PEI)
[Sat] Wife Appreciation Day
[Sat] POW/MIA Recognition Day
[Sun] 59th Primetime Emmy Awards (Los Angeles)
This Week Is … Habitat for Humanity Week
This Month Is … Organic Harvest Month


• Can a person be scared ‘half-to-death’ … twice?
• Will $10-words become more acceptable with inflation?
• Do pigs have ‘pen pals’?
• How did people ever figure out that eggs were edible?
• If cleanliness is next to godliness, do all maids go to heaven?

Around here, we can’t see the forest for the tract housing.

If you could have a stranger come up to you and whisper anything into your ear, what would you want them to say?

Today’s Question: 43 is the average age for someone to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Start a business.

Brad Pitt wouldn’t be half as handsome working in a cubicle.

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