Friday, September 7, 2007        Edition: #3608
New & Improved BS – Now With Added Brighteners!

TODAY is the 1st birthday of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead, spawn of Anna Nicole Smith & Larry Birkhead, a momentous occasion that will be celebrated TOMORROW at the lavish home of Louisville KY hostess Tricia Barnstable Brown with a  fairy-princess-themed bash for 200-plus that spares no expense (ie: not just balloons – but hot-air balloons!) . . . TODAY’s edition of “Rolling Stone” magazine features a first-of-its-kind print ad for the new Jimmy Smits TV series “Cane” (CBS) that features a tamper-proof taste packet flavored like a lime mojito (the series is about a south Florida family that makes the fictional ‘Duque Rum’ brand) . . . SATURDAY is the funeral for 71-year-old opera legend Luciano Pavarotti at the Modena Cathedral in his Italian hometown (the 2-ton tenor will be buried there … and in Naples … and in Rome … and in …) . . . SUNDAY “Triumph & Treachery: The Brian Mulroney Story” airs (CTV), a 90-minute special detailing the life of beloved (not!) Canadian PM Brian Mulroney (his new book, “Brian Mulroney: Memoirs 1939-1993”, hits bookstores MONDAY), which includes an extensive interview by CTV news anchor Lloyd Robertson (seeing as Ben Mulroney is one of the network’s top personalities, you can bet he’ll get softball treatment) . . . 40-year-old actress Sherri Shepherd (“Who’s Your Caddy”, “Less Than Perfect” 2002-06) will be introduced as the ‘secret’ new cast member on “The View” (ABC/CTV) MONDAY, a logical move as she’s already guest-hosted the show more than a dozen times (isn’t there like 37 people on the panel now?) . . . Hollywood director Oliver Stone has arrived in Vietnam to research his next film about the Vietnam War, which focuses on the infamous My Lai [‘mee-lye’] massacre (‘Nam vet Stone’s previous films about the war both won him Oscars: “Platoon”-1987 & “Born on the 4th of July”-1990) . . . Apple and Starbucks have announced an exclusive partnership that will allow users to wirelessly browse, search for, preview, buy and download music from the iTunes Wi-Fi Music Store while in Starbucks stores (now you’ll need to take a thousand bucks with you when you go for coffee).

• Barry Manilow – A duet with Rosie O’Donnell on the Elton John/Kiki Dee classic “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” has been dumped from his new “Greatest Songs of the Seventies” album. The reason? ‘It didn’t fit’. Translation: There’s no publicity in it cuz she’s not on TV anymore.
• Carrie Underwood – She’s still insisting she’s just ‘good friends’ with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. They’ve been rumored to be dating since DECEMBER. Maybe she’s waiting to see if he makes up for his lame-brained, season-ending fumble before she commits?
• Genesis – TONIGHT the North American leg of their “Turn It On Again” reunion tour kicks off at Toronto’s BMO Field.
• Mindy McCready – TODAY in Franklin TN, the former country star (“Guys Do It All the Time”), is scheduled to be sentenced and could face 3 years in the slammer for probation violation. And she still has a resisting arrest charge pending in Florida.
• My Chemical Romance – Frontman Gerard Way has married his long-term girlfriend backstage at a gig in Denver CO.
• Sammy Kershaw – The “Love Of My Life” country singer has officially entered the race for Lieutenant Governor of Louisiana, challenging incumbent Mitch Landrieu.
• Three Days Grace – SATURDAY they embark on a North American fall tour in Hutchinson KS. Breaking Benjamin and Seether are the support acts.
• U2 – SATURDAY Canadian producer/recording artist Daniel Lanois’ documentary film “Here Is What Is” premieres at the “Toronto International Film Festival”. It provides a behind-the-scenes look at his work in the recording studio with U2, Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson & others.

• “Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq“ – SUNDAY James Gandolfini’s tear-jerking documentary about wounded Iraq War vets airs (HBO), in which he interviews 10 US soldiers about the day they were wounded in battle but lived (the origin of the expression ‘alive day’).
• Farm Aid – SUNDAY the 22nd benefit for farmers organized by Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, Neil Young & Dave Matthews takes place on NYC’s Randalls Island. The concert lineup also includes the Allman Bros Band, Billy Joe Shaver, Counting Crows, Merle Haggard, Montgomery Gentry & Ray Price. The charity has raised over $30 million since it began in 1985.
• “MTV Video Music Awards” – SUNDAY the 24th “VMA”s air live from the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Unlike previous years, it will only air once in its original form; rerun versions will be edited. Justin Timberlake & Beyoncé lead nominations but the big hype is about Britney Spears’ show-opening comeback attempt, which may be a make-it-or-break-it for her floundering career.
• “Toronto’s Virgin Festival“ – More than 35 acts perform at the 2nd annual 2-day event at Toronto Island Park. Bjork headlines SATURDAY; Smashing Pumpkins SUNDAY. Other acts include  Arctic Monkeys, Interpol & The Killers. Amy Winehouse already canceled.

• “The Brothers Solomon“ ( R-Rated Comedy ): Will Forte (“Saturday Night Live“) & Will Arnett (“Blades of Glory”) play a pair of well-meaning but socially inept brothers who try to find their perfect mates in order to provide their dying father with a grandchild. Co-stars Jenna Fischer (“The Office”).
• “Shoot ‘Em Up” ( R-Rated Action ): A loner who goes by the name ‘Mr Smith’ (Clive Owen) joins up with a new mom (Monica Bellucci) to protect her baby from a determined criminal (Paul Giamatti). The buzz is all about a lovemaking scene … during a shoot-out; and a gunfight … during a skydiving free-fall. Shot entirely in Toronto.
• “3:10 to Yuma” ( R-Rated Western ): Director James Mangold’s follow-up to “Walk the Line” is a remake of a 1957 classic that starred Glenn Ford. Russell Crowe plays a captured outlaw being escorted by a rancher (Christian Bale) to the train that will take him to trial. But the outlaw’s henchman (Ben Foster) vows to kill everyone in his path to stop that from happening.

The new hi-tech tool in the celeb autograph field is called the ‘LongPen’. Invented by Canadian author Margaret Atwood (“The Blind Assassin”), it’s a  remote-controlled pen, which allows the famous to sign autographs from anywhere in the world while chatting with media and/or fans via videoconference. The gizmo uses a video screen and digital writing pad at one location and a video screen and automated pen at another. ‘LongPen’ kiosks have now been set up for trial runs in several record and bookstores in Canada, the US & England. The device’s makers say it’s already saved over 40 tons of carbon emissions by cutting down on celebrity jet-setting.
– CP

Online networking site Facebook has announced it’s opening up its members lists to internet search engines, prompting privacy fears for its 39 million users. A notice on the website attempts to allay fears by noting that search engine users will only be able to find Facebook names and profile pictures from accounts that are set on the ‘minimum privacy’ setting. (Note to self: check daughter’s privacy setting. Second note to self: ask daughter how to check privacy setting.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

For the first time since tourism was invented, France has slipped from its rank as the world’s top travel destination. In fact, it’s not just slid to #2 but has fallen to 3rd behind the US and Spain. The country’s Secretary of State for Tourism says the biggest problems are bad customer service and a perceived lack of friendliness on the part of the French. In order to win back visitors, the government has issued the following guidelines …
• Be the first to say ‘bonjour’ when faced with a tourist.
• Do not throw change on the counter. Be patient in transactions.
• If you do speak some English, don’t pretend you don’t.
• If tourists try to speak some French, be patient.
• If none of the above is possible, then at least smile.
(Could the real reasons for the fall be the abysmal exchange rate; the price gouging by merchants; or maybe the crappy weather … or is it just the snooty waiters?)
– “The Guardian”

• Against common perception, it seems women don’t talk that much more than men. Researchers who attached microphones to about 400 college students to measure how many words they utter per day have found that women speak about 16,000 while men speak about 15,500.
• Kissing is found in 90% of human cultures and even among animals.
• A new study has found that live-in boyfriends spend more time cleaning than their married counterparts. And according to research, those couples who divide household chores most equally seem to also have better sex lives. (Mop, please!)

“I don’t have it on now cuz the truck is bulletproof. I’ve got a little bit more money now.”
– Rapper 50 Cent, admitting he no longer needs to wear a bulletproof vest. His new album, “Curtis”, is out TUESDAY.


1951 [56] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV actress (voice of ‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1954 [53] Benmont Tench, Gainesville FL, classic rock musician (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers-“Free Fallin’”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2002)

1961 [46] Leroi Moore, Durham NC, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“American Baby”, “Crash Into Me”)

1973 [34] Shannon Elizabeth, Houston TX, movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation”, “American Pie”)

1978 [29] Devon Sawa, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Extreme Ops”, “Final Destination”)

1987 [20] Evan Rachel Wood, Raleigh NC, movie actress (“The Upside of Anger”, “Thirteen”) FACTOID: She became the highest paid actress in music video history for her appearance in 38-year-old boyfriend Marilyn Manson’s video for “Heart-Shaped Glasses”.

Movie actor David Arquette (Mr Courteney Cox) is 36; Rock drummer Richard Hughes (Keane) is 32; Movie actor Larenz Tate (“Ray”) is 32; Pop singer Pink (“Get the Party Started”) is 28.

Musician/producer Dave Stewart (Eurythmics) is 55; Movie actor Hugh Grant (“Music & Lyrics”) is 47; Movie actor/producer Adam Sandler (“I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”) is 41; Model/actress Rachel Hunter (“The Benchwarmers”) is 38; Canadian pop/jazz singer Michael Buble (“Home”) is 32; Movie actress Michelle Williams (“Brokeback Mountain”) is 27.

• “Country Music Week 2007“ in Regina, culminating in the annual “CCMA Awards” MONDAY. Best of luck to these 2007 ‘CCMA Broadcast Award Nominees’: CJVR Melfort SK; CFCW/CKRA Edmonton AB; and CHCQ Belleville ON … total “BS”-ers all of them!
• “Neither Rain Nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”.
• “Nose Hair Maintenance Day”, your annual opportunity to take proper care of nose hair by trimming, styling, brushing or some such thing.  Wait a sec … once a year?
• “Take Another Look Day”, a day to survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity or reuse them in another project. In other words, dump some of your ‘stuff’!

• “Bald Is Beautiful Convention”, the 34th annual 2-day get-together of ‘chrome-domes’ in Morehead City SC, where they have “More-head & less hair!” Their motto is, “If you don’t have it, flaunt it!”
• “Federal Lands Cleanup Day”, an annual event by presidential proclamation on the first Saturday after Labor Day.
• “International Literacy Day”, established by the United Nations to promote reading & writing programs worldwide. (For more information, read their leaflet.)

• “Dog Days of Summer K-9 Pool Party”, the 4th annual Hudson Valley Humane Society charity event in Ramapo NY, where all dogs are invited to an exclusive swimming party at a local public pool. Last year, over 250 attended! Smaller dogs get to use the wading pool. Eww, who cleans?
• “Expectant Father’s Day”, a day for neglected first-time dads to get some much needed recognition.
• “Grandparents’ Day”, originated in 1978 to honor those kindly folks who get to spoil our kids rotten without paying any consequences. Observed annually the first Sunday after Labor Day.
• “Pet Memorial Day”, established by the International Association of Pet Cemeteries as an annual observance on the 2nd Sunday of September to bring closure to the departure of beloved pets by fondly remembering them. (Doncha miss ol’ Tiger’s toots?)
• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal that was inspired by the helpless cub US President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ in the USA shortly after that incident, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.

1986 [21] TV’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (the beginnings of a billionaire)

1996 [11] Rapper Tupac Shakur is shot on the Las Vegas Strip (dies 6 days later)

2003 [04] Singer/songwriter Warren Zevon dies of lung cancer in Los Angeles at age 56

1931 [76] The ‘American Sunbathing Association’ is founded (now known as the ‘American Association for Nude Recreation’, which has member clubs across the US & Canada)

1979 [28] ESPN debuts on cable TV (filling the need for more Australian Rules Football)

1984 [23] 1st ‘Platinum’ credit cards issued by American Express (because by then everybody has a ‘Gold’ card)

[Mon] World Suicide Prevention Day
[Mon] Swap Ideas Day
[Tues] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Tues] Boss-Employee Exchange Day
[Wed] Video Game Day
[Thurs] Rosh Hashanah (Jewish)
[Thurs] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
This Week Is … Housekeepers Week
This Month is … Food Allergy Awareness Month


Contestants compete to list the most things to fit the category you stipulate. Start with one contestant, give out the category, then start the clock. Total the score, then give your other contestant a new category and see if they can beat the total. A few suggested topics …
• Things you run out of in the kitchen.
• Stuff you get ragged on about by your partner.
• Professional sports teams named after animals.
• Organs of the human body.
• Endearing nicknames you might call your partner.
• Things that are really, really sharp.
• Cool places to go on a Saturday night.
• Insults you might hear in the schoolyard.
• Noises you can make with your body.
• Things you eat that are red.

What’s the worst thing you’ve done to get revenge using electronic gadgetry (cellphone, Internet, iPod, PDA, etc)?

Today’s Question: The average couple does THIS 182 times a year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Argues, according to “Redbook” magazine.

$70,000 cars don’t make a man any less bald.

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