Wednesday, September 5, 2007        Edition: #3606
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

Early YESTERDAY an unknown explosive device detonated outside Studio Dante, a NYC actors’ studio/theater owned by “The Sopranos” star Michael Imperioli, wrecking a vehicle but causing no injuries (maybe there’ll be another season, after all!) . . . PBS is sending out 2 versions of filmmaker Ken Burns’ 14-and-a-half-hour WW2 documentary series “The War” (debuting SEPTEMBER 23rd) so that member stations can decide which to air – the one that’s intact or the one with all the curse words erased (we’re supposed to believe no one swore in the heat of battle?) . . . The latest sentencing of drug-addled Brit rocker Pete Doherty (for driving illegally while in possession of crack, heroin, ketamine & cannabis) has been adjourned after he failed to appear in court because he’s in rehab – again (his next scheduled appearance: OCTOBER 2nd) . . . Celebrity photographer & video director David LaChapelle says he’ll never ever work with Madonna, Gwen Stefani or Christina Aguilera again (he centers out Madonna, in particular, as being ‘nasty & cruel’) . . . A ‘scratch ‘n sniff’ ad for the upcoming movie “Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium” in this SUNDAY’s “Los Angeles Times” will exude the aroma of frosted cake, an innovation the studio is spending $110,000 on (what happens if you eat a newspaper?) . . . And the tit-for-tat spat between NBC-TV and Apple has escalated, with the latter now saying it will NOT offer any of the network’s shows for the coming season on iTunes even if the 2 companies could reach a financial agreement (you can’t quit – you’re fired!).

• John Lennon – Yoko Ono has unveiled a lighthouse in Iceland in honor of her late husband. The ‘Peace Tower’ is due to be lit from his birthday, OCTOBER 9th, to the anniversary of his death. DECEMBER 8th, but she’s hoping it will eventually run permanently.
• Led Zeppelin – The reunion rumor just won’t go away despite Robert Plant’s recent denial. The latest version suggests a big comeback concert is planned for London’s 02 Arena, featuring original members Plant, Jimmy Page & John Paul Jones, plus Jason Bonham filling in for his late father, John.
• Paul McCartney – The 65-year-old geezer rocker & 38-year-old movie actress Renée Zellweger have been spotted together again, this time on a dinner date in the Hamptons area of Long Island, where both own mansions. The get-together comes a week after they were spotted at a Tom Petty concert in NYC. And to make the speculation of romance even creepier … he has a daughter her age!
• Peter Gabriel – The classic rocker has composed the musical score for the new National Geographic 3-D film, “Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure”. The pic is slated to open in IMAX theaters NEXT MONTH.

• Avril Lavigne – She performs on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Brooks & Dunn/ZZ Top – The country duo & classic rock trio mash it up on “Crossroads” (CMT).
• Busta Rhymes – The 34-year-old rapper is scheduled to appear in a Manhattan court to face 4 separate charges involving assault and driving offences. He previously turned down a plea bargain that would have seen him sent to jail for a year in exchange for pleading guilty to all.
• Dinosaur Jr – The Massachusetts alt-rockers are on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Faith Hill – She sings her new single, “Red Umbrella”, on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV). It’s one of the new songs on her upcoming album, “The Hits”.
• Martina McBride– This morning she performs “How I Feel” on the “Early Show” (CBS).
• Travis Tritt – He sings “You Never Take Me Dancing” from his new album “The Storm” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Concrete Collar’ – An extensive system of roads or highways that surrounds a city. (Kinda makes your throat all constricted just saying it.)
• ‘Hypermiler’ – A driver who attempts to maximize gas mileage by using driving techniques that conserve fuel. (“Nice to see you trying to conserve, but turning off the car and coasting down all the hills is just too much hypermiling if you ask me.”)
• ‘VBIED’ [pronounced ‘VEE-bid’] – Stands for ‘Vehicle-Borne Improvised Explosive Device’. A military term for a car or other vehicle rigged to act as a bomb. (“That’s right, Colonel. We’re reporting a loggerhead on the roadbed due to a VBIED that’s a hybrid. Why do you ask?”)

• Japanese electronics manufacturer Sharp is set to market a new touchscreen, liquid-crystal display with scanner functions. The screen can respond to more than one touch at a time, allowing users to perform tasks by making tapping, pinching and squeezing motions with their fingers. Also, documents such as business cards can be scanned when placed on the screen.
– BBC News
• A couple of Australian engineers at the University of Wollongong have invented an electronic box with a built-in camera that recognizes and responds to 10 hand gestures to control a TV set. For instance, a clenched fist switches the set on; a thumbs-up adjusts the volume; and a sideways V-for-victory sign changes channels. The gizmo may be on the market within 3 years.
– “Illawarra Mercury”

• A recent worldwide survey of more than 20,000 men was designed to find where the happiest and healthiest reside. Among the findings: Men are happiest in Mexico; men eat the most junk food in China; and UK men say they have the best sex. The worst sex? Perhaps surprisingly … Italy.
– “Men’s Health“
• According to the latest ‘World Database of Happiness’, the happiest place on Earth is now Denmark, followed by Switzerland, Colombia, Austria, and Iceland. Canada ranks 9th, the USA 17th. The annual ranking of 95 countries is based on the quality of society at large, the quality of employment & schooling, and the ability of individual populations to generate their own happiness. The least happy country … Tanzania.

A new study has found that rock stars perhaps take the phrase ‘live fast, die young’ more as a mission statement than a metaphor. The study, comparing the lives of rock & pop stars with the rest of the population finds – not too surprisingly – that in the first 5 years after chart success, the mortality rate of performers is 3 times higher than the rest of us.
– “The Guardian”

A Japanese company is marketing what it claims are boob-enhancing biscuits called ‘F-Cup Cookies’. The manufacturer says you can boost your bust by a whole cup size just by eating 2 a day. Each serving contains 50 mg of a herb called ‘pueraria mirifica’ which, according to the makers, mimics the effects of estrogen in developing the bust. Experts, however, warn that the herb has not yet been medically proven to work. ‘F-Cup Cookies’ cost approximately $3 for a pack of 4. Unfortunately, they can only be purchased in Japan.

Tips from experts on how to brew the best coffee at home …
• You don’t need an expensive coffee maker. A cafetière (coffee pot with plunger that pushes grounds to the bottom) is as good or better.
• Use the freshest beans or ground coffee you can find.
• Water should be fresh and cold.
• Don’t pour boiling water over the coffee; let it cool slightly to about 200 F (94 C).
• Leave it to brew for 4 minutes.
• You don’t have to store coffee in the fridge; just make sure its in an airtight container in a cool place away from sunlight.
– Newsquest News Service

Researchers at the State University of New York at Albany have found that women often judge men exclusively on the quality of their first kiss. The pressure to perform, it seems, rests mainly with males, because females have developed kissing as an evolutionary tool to find the right father for their children. Women’s breath can indicate hormone levels and fertility, while male saliva has traces of the hormone testosterone. Bad breath, as well as being unpleasant, can be interpreted by would-be lovers as a sign of health problems. A poll of 1,000 students finds that women are more reliant on kissing as a mate assessment technique than men. Most women say that kissing is so integral to a relationship they won’t even contemplate intimacy without it.
– “Daily Mail”

• Scientists at Hitachi Research Lab in Japan have devised the smallest Radio-Frequency Identification (RFI) tag yet, smaller than a grain of sand. The tiny chip, which can store a 38-digit number, could be embedded in rings and necklaces to track their origins, making them harder to sell illegally.
– “Popular Science“
• In a test by police, a thousand homes in Watford UK have been given ‘enigmaTag’, a system that uses encrypted microparticles to mark valuable possessions. Each nail-polish-sized bottle has a unique coded solution, registered to a particular home. After a tiny amount is applied to valuables, they can be identified by special hand-held readers.
– “London Observer”

The Sleep Council says so-called ‘junk sleep’ may rival junk food as a major concern for parents of teens. A poll of 1,000 kids aged 12-to-16 finds that 30% manage just 4-to-7 hours of sleep nightly as opposed to the recommended 8-or-9 hours. But the problem isn’t just quantity, it’s quality: About a quarter say they fall asleep more than once a week while watching TV, listening to music, or using other electronic gadgets. Nearly all teens surveyed have a phone, music system, or TV in their bedroom; about two-thirds have all 3. The survey also finds that about 40% of respondents admit they feel tired virtually every day.
– Reuters

• Daily coffee consumption in Canada varies from 70% of adults in Québec, to 67% in the Prairies, 61% in BC, 60% in Ontario and 53% in Atlantic Canada.
– Coffee Association of Canada
• IBM’s sophisticated BlueGene L supercomputer, which contains 4,096 processors, each using 256MB of RAM, is considerably less powerful than half of a mouse’s brain.
– “New Scientist”
• Norwegian researchers say that a single moose can belch up to 952 kg of carbon dioxide a year in the form of methane gas. The researchers note that with 140,000 moose in Norway, this could make a significant contribution to pollution.
– National Public Radio

“So many smells come with a baby and I enjoy all of them … even the stinky ones.”
– Gwen Stefani, telling “Daily Mirror” she likes everything about being mom to baby son Kingston.


1950 [57] Cathy Guisewite, Dayton OH, comic strip cartoonist (“Cathy” since 1976)

1951 [56] Michael Keaton (Douglas), Coraopolis PA, movie actor (“Cars”, “Beetle Juice”)

1968 [39] Brad Wilk, Portland OR, rock drummer (Audioslave-“Original Fire”, Rage Against the Machine-“Renegades of Funk”)

1973 [34] Rose McGowan, Florence, Italy, movie actress (“Grindhouse”, “The Black Dahlia”)/TV actress (“Charmed” 2001-06)

• “Air Guitar World Championships”, the 12th annual through Friday in the northern Finnish town of Oulu, the ‘Mecca of airheads’. Contestants are judged on stage charisma, originality, artistry and ‘airiness’. Competitors play their imaginary guitars to one compulsory tune and one track of their choice. Grand prize is a real electric guitar. (2nd prize is a used tennis racquet.)

• “Be Late For Something Day”, sponsored by the Procrastinators’ Club. In retaliation, TOMORROW is “National Do-It! Day”, aka “Fight Procrastination Day”.

• “New York Fashion Week” through September 12th in NYC, when we find out what’s hot and what’s not for Spring 2008.

1991 [16] Actor John Travolta weds actress Kelly Preston (it’s their ‘Styrofoam Anniversary’)

2006 [01] “The CBS Evening News With Katie Couric” debuts (and immediately underwhelms)

1996 [11] 10-hour video collection “The Beatles Anthology” is released

1998 [09] Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” (from the movie”Armageddon”) debuts at #1 and remains there through the entire month of September

1999 [08] La-Z-Boy 1st markets its ‘Oasis’ recliner designed for football fans, equipped with phone, heat, massager, and a cooler large enough to chill a 6-pack

1989 [18] World’s ‘Longest Zipper’ (9,353 ft-long with 2,565,900 teeth) is produced by the Yoshida Co of Sneek, Netherlands (and installed on a pair of pants for Shaquille O’Neal)

[Thurs] 4th  Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC)
[Thurs] NFL season kick-off (Indianapolis)
[Thurs-Sept 15] 32nd Toronto International Film Festival
[Sat-Sun]  Toronto Virgin Festival
[Sat] International Literacy Day
[Sun] 24th MTV Video Music Awards (Las Vegas)
[Sun] 22nd Farm Aid (NYC)
[Mon] Canadian Country Music Awards (Regina)
This Week Is … Self-University Week
This Month Is … Cholesterol Education & Awareness Month


You run down the list rapid-fire while your guest/listener/co-worker rates each as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Guacamole.
• Reality TV shows involving kids.
• Opinion polls.
• Lottery tickets.
• Tomato juice.
• David Beckham.
• Flat-screen TVs.
• Fair trade coffee.
• Ring tones.
• All-you-can-eat buffets.

When [co-host] dies, he’s going to leave his body to science … fiction.

If you could ‘un-invent’ one thing in the world so that it would no longer exist, what would you choose?

Today’s Question: Question: Most men do THIS whenever they want but close to 90% of women say they never have … because they can’t.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Whistle.

Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.

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