September 26 2018

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Wednesday, September 26, 2018 – Edition: #6301

Sheet Happens!

★ “The Big Bang Theory” star Kaley Cuoco was as surprised as the rest of the world to find out that Season 12 will be the show’s last. But that doesn’t mean she’s fully ready to hang up her character, Penny, for good. Cuoco gave fans a shred of hope that they haven’t heard the last of the intrepid gang of nerds. Rumors have swirled for a while that co-creator, writer and producer Chuck Lorre may be eyeing a potential spinoff, and while Cuoco says that she hasn’t heard anything about a potential spinoff with her character, she let it be known that she would be on board if offered, saying, “If he called me and said ‘let’s do something’ tomorrow, I would.”  And for the record, Cuoco says she “Would have done 20 more years”.
(How about 20 years of reunion rumors?)
★ Pete Davidson says his relationship with Ariana Grande has people congratulating him on the street, but also threatening to shoot him in the face. He says he’s received death threats, including someone who actually wanted to gun him down. Davidson admits it’s hard for him to even walk down the street nowadays, and says he sometimes uses a security detail when he’s out with Grande.  Quote: “It’s pretty rough, it’s like The Walking Dead out there.”
(Except for the fact that people still watch Davidson and Grande…)
★ Tim Gunn is ready to “make it work” with Amazon. He and Heidi Klum recently announced a new project with the streaming giant, and he says the two are “in a cloud.”  Although a set concept for the new series isn’t in place just yet, the fashion guru says, “Right now we’re huddling, we’re working on the creative, it’s a dream, and it’s Amazon! Think fashion at the highest level.”  Klum and Gunn announced earlier this month that they’re saying goodbye to “Project Runway,” after over a decade working on the hit show.
★ A mural honoring the late Robin Williams has been unveiled in his hometown od Chicago, and it serves as a powerful reminder about seeking help during suicide prevention month. The painting of Williams surrounded by his iconic Disney character, the Genie from “Aladdin,” was erected over the weekend on the side of the Concord Music Hall in The Windy City.  The project is a collaboration between local street artists, and is said to serve as a juxtaposition between the entertaining characters that Williams created, and the pain he suffered quietly inside.  September is suicide prevention awareness month, and Williams committed suicide four years ago.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Riz Ahmed, Brad Garrett, Avril Lavigne
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alexander Skarsgard, Shaquille O’Neal, Bad Bunny
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Candice Bergen, Jacinda Ardern
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Hart, Kristen Bell, Hari Nef, Ben Sesar
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Max Greenfield, Sophie Turner, Josh Groban
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jamie Neumann, Chad Daniels
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Naomi Campbell, Cuba Gooding Jr.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kristen Bell
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tim Allen, guest co-host Carnie Wilson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Katy Mixon, Joe Morton, Ben Rector
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Hudson, Max Greenfield, the Chainsmokers, Kelsea Ballerini
• “Survivor” (CBS): Season 37 premiere
• “The Goldbergs” (ABC): Season 6 premiere
• “American Housewife” (ABC): Season 3 premiere
• “Modern Family” (ABC): Season 10 premiere
• “Chicago Med” (NBC): Season 4 premiere
• “Chicago Fire” (NBC): Season 7 premiere
• “Empire” (FOX): Season 5 premiere

• The Chainsmokers – are being sued by a clothing company over their use of the phrase “Sick Boy” on t-shirts and sweatshirts.  The Sick Boy company claims they trademarked the words for various clothing items in 2001. They are suing for trademark infringement and seeking unspecified damages.
• Madonna – was dissed by Cher on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  Cher played a ‘5-second’ rule game, and when she was asked to “Name three celebrities you’d want to do a duet with”, Cher answered: “Oh! Adele, Pink and… uh, um — not Madonna!”
• Celine Dion — After 15 years, the curtain is set to close on her long-running Las Vegas residency. Her final “Celine” shows at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace will begin in May, with the last show scheduled for June 8, 2019.
• Weezer — have finally released a music video for their cover of Toto’s ‘Africa’ and they’ve thrown in a hilarious twist. It is a nearly perfect recreation of their 90s video for ‘Undone – The Sweater Song’, except this one stars “Weird Al” Yankovic as the lead singer.
• Gary Numan — The ‘Cars’ singer’s tour bus bus struck and killed a pedestrian in Cleveland on Monday, hours before he was scheduled to take the stage. Police say an elderly male was pronounced dead at the scene.
• John Lennon – Fans can now see rare video of he and George Harrison recording an unreleased version of ‘How Do You Sleep’.  It is part of the collection of rare behind-the-scenes material on the new “Imagine: The Ultimate Collection” box set, which comes out Oct. 5.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl says he’d love to play the Super Bowl halftime show, and there have been discussions in the past.  But every time he thinks that his band has it locked up, “We’re like, ‘Oh my God, I think we’re gonna do the Super Bowl!’ And then it’ll be, like, Madonna or Katy Perry or somebody like that.”
• Carrie Underwood – has her fourth No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 chart.  With “Cry Pretty” topping the chart in its first week, she has made history as the first woman with four country albums to the top of the all-genre Billboard 200 chart.
• Thomas Rhett — will take his “Life Changes” tour north of the border in 2019 for nine dates in Canada. The first Canadian stop will be April 24 in Montreal.  Dustin Lynch will open.  In a video announcement, Rhett made use of a hockey stick and gloves as props and said: “My fans in Canada are incredible, so I’m really excited that we will be headed there for a couple weeks next year and get to bring all the energy of the Life Changes Tour with us.” Tickets go on sale on Sept. 28.

Thanks to the famous commercial, we all know what ‘hangry’ means.  And we’ve certainly all experienced it…that irritable feeling we get when we’ve gone too long without eating.  New research published in the Journal of Pharmacology found that “hanger” is indeed a thing.  The study using rats examined the impact on emotional behaviour of a sudden drop in blood sugar.  The bottom line?  Rats whose blood sugar levels were allowed to drastically drop not only experienced negative changes in behavior, but their blood also showed high levels of cortisol, a hormone that’s produced in response to stress. Researchers say that shows not only that the “hangry” feeling is a biological reality, but that long-term, our mental health could be affected by what we eat on a daily basis.
(I don’t just get hangry…I get downright hugly!)
(I could have told you that hangry is a thing.  I get so mad when I see what my kids eat…)
(So if you’re hungover and you’re angry, are we back to being ‘hungry’ again?)

Many parents aren’t quite comfortable with letting their children watch television.  On the other hand, the kids love it.  Well, parents, don’t get too uptight about it.  Anya Kamenetz, an education correspondent at NPR, went over a pile of research on TV consumption and children, and found that the majority of parents have nothing to worry about.  She says that “We know that most kids who watch some TV are going to be fine,” adding that parents with children with behavioral disorders or who are on the autism spectrum might want to be extra careful.  She cautions that if sitting in front of the TV gets in the way of physical activity and socializing, then yes, problems can arise. But she reminds parents that not every moment of a child’s life needs to be about making them “better”.  Sometimes it’s OK to just sit and laugh or feel the thrill of watching something that you want to watch.  Kamenetz suggests that parents watch TV with their children as often as possible.  This allows parents to discuss subjects which arise in a program with their kids, and it can also help parents broach difficult subjects with their children.
(I can proudly say that my kids never watch TV.  Ever since Fortnite!)
(I know when I was a kid, I really enjoyed those educational episodes of ‘Days of Our Lives’ that I watched with my Grandma…)
(See?  I watched tons of TV when I was a kid and my brain never turned to…uh…that smushy stuff…)

It’s the ladies’ turn today!
✗ Taking a long time to get ready:  When he sees you shaving or trying to nail the perfect cat eye when you have a dinner reservation in 10 minutes, don’t be surprised when he’s a little impatient.  (And don’t say you’ll be ready “in a minute” when we both know it’ll be at least 45 of them!)
✗ Keeping the house at an unbearable temperature:  Researchers shows that women are typically more comfortable at temperatures a few degrees warmer than man.  However, if, instead of coming to a compromise (or, heaven forbid, putting on a sweater) you’re sneakily turning up the heat, he’s eventually going to snap and open the window….wide!  (This is the eternal battle…)
✗ Making major purchases without consulting him:  He’s going to be frustrated by being left out of the loop. And considering that money woes are the single biggest source of stress in most relationships, it’s worth discussing ahead of time.  (If women checked with guys before every major purchase, the entire economy would crumble!)
✗ Eating off his plate:  Though some women often opt for lower-calorie alternatives rather than what they really want, that doesn’t automatically make your husband’s plate a backup for when that side salad fails to fill you up. (But it’s OK for him to eat off of HER plate, right?)
✗ Acting like he doesn’t have feelings, too:  There is always pressure on men to seem tough and strong.  The sooner that’s recognized and you can both have a good cry during a re-watch of “The Notebook”, the better.  (The only reason I’d cry during a sad movie is because I’m missing the football game!)
✗ Saying things are okay when they’re clearly not:  Saying, “I’m fine,” when you really mean, “I’m so frustrated I could explode,” is a serious pet peeve for plenty of husbands—and not exactly a good way to get your needs met, either.  (But if by her saying that, it allows me not to have to talk about it, then “I’m fine” with it!)
✗ Hogging the closet:  Many women act as though the closet is their sole domain and that their partner should occupy as little of the space as possible. (We’ve got separate closets…and she still takes up over half of mine!)
✗ Using a million pillows in bed:  Those throw pillows and bolsters may seem like a minor design detail to you, but they can be a major annoyance to him.  (Plus, it means there is less space for the dogs…) (Now, what about leaving the toilet seat down?)


1948 [70] Olivia Newton-John, Cambridge England, pop singer (‘Physical’, ‘Hopelessly Devoted to You’), movie actress (‘Grease’, ‘Xanadu’)

1956 [62] Linda Hamilton, Salisbury MD, movie actress (“Terminator” franchise) COMING UP…”Easy Does It” 2018

1968 [50] Jim Caviezel, Mount Vernon WA, TV actor (‘Person of Interest’ 2011-16)/movie actor (“The Count of Monte Cristo”, “The Passion of the Christ”)

1972 [46] Shawn Stockman, Philadelphia PA, R&B singer (Boyz II Men-‘I’ll Make Love to You’, ‘The End Of the Road’)

1981 [37] Serena Williams, Saginaw MI, Now #16-ranked women’s tennis player who’s considered one of the greatest all-time/23 Grand Slam singles championships

1981 [37] Christina Milian, Jersey City NJ, pop singer (‘Say I’, ‘Dip It Low’)/movie actress (“Be Cool”, “American Pie”)

1984 [34] Nev Schulman, New York City NY, TV producer (“Catfish: The TV Show” 2012-2016)

• “Better Breakfast Day”, to create awareness that eating a healthy breakfast can get you and your family on track to making healthier choices throughout the day and help curb overeating at other meals.  (I’m such a big proponent of eating a good breakfast that I usually have two!)
• “Lumberjack Day”, honoring a tough job that’s become a popular sport … logging games.

•“National Pancake Day”, serve with a variety of syrups, jams, chocolate sauce or even Nutella. Slice fresh, seasonal fruit and serve on the side of your pancakes. Make Cinnamon Butter by whipping unsalted butter with cinnamon and serving over pancakes. (Not to be confused with “Pancake Tuesday” in February…)

• “World Contraception Day”, to raise awareness about contraception and safe sex. Odd contraceptives used throughout history have included: crocodile dung, animal intestines, blacksmith water, lemon diaphragms, and – ew – brewed tea with beaver testicles (and morning breath!)

• “Johnny Appleseed Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of his death. He was born John Chapman in Massachusetts in 1774. He was a serious nurseryman who introduced apples to many orchards in the wilderness of the American Midwest. He then gave or sold trees to pioneers.

• “National Women’s Health & Fitness Day”, focusing attention on the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women. The goal is to encourage women to take control of their personal health.  NET:

[Thurs] Chocolate Milk Day
[Thurs] World Tourism Day
[Fri] Ask a Stupid Question Day
[Fri] National Drink Beer Day

1964 [54] ‘Gilligan’s Island’, starring Bob Denver as Gilligan, debuts on CBS

2008 [10] Screen legend Paul Newman dies from cancer at age 83 at his home in Westport CT

2003 [15] Brit rock singer Robert Palmer (‘Addicted to Love’, ‘Simply Irresistible’) dies from a heart attack at age 54 in Paris, France

2007 [11] Music producer Phil Spector’s trial for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson ends in a mistrial (2 years later he’s convicted and sentenced to 19 years-to-life)

2014 [04] Bill & Hillary Clinton become first-time grandparents as Chelsea Clinton & husband Marc Mezvinsky announce the birth of their first child, Charlotte

2017 [01] Saudi Arabia announces it is overturning its ban on women driving – the last country in the world to do so.  Women began driving legally on June 24, 2018

1926 [92] Shortest MLB double-header ever played as NY Yankees lose 6-1 in 72 minutes and lose again 6-2 in 55 minutes to St Louis Browns (Yanks had already clinched the pennant)


✓ If you started with $0.01 and doubled your money every day, it would take 27 days to become a millionaire.
✓ The average U.S. household has 300,000 objects in it, counting everything from paper clips to ironing boards.
✓ It takes longer to say “www” than it does to say “World Wide Web” because of all the syllables.
✓ UK’s Royal Mail estimated in 2015 that it would cost £11,602 (US $15,215) to send a letter to Mars.
✓ Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males.
✓ Mosquitoes spit and pee on you as they bite you.

• It will be exactly like the job description said.
• You will probably be asked to wear a tasteful, stylish uniform.
• It is good to always answer the boss’s questions with a question.
• Your mom can just write you a note if you miss work.
• You’ll never be replaced by a robot.
• ALWAYS use “reply all”.
• You’ll get a lot of respect from your coworkers, especially if you can do their jobs more efficiently.
• You’ll be promoted if you show up the first day with no pants on.
• Toys R Us is hiring.
• You’ll love it.

Best of BS:

• Flannel clothing is popping up everywhere.  Even in church.
• You’ve just taken a selfie in a pumpkin patch.
• Food stores contain sufficient wheat, oats, and cured meats to see your entire town through the next three winters.
• A temporary Halloween shop has moved into every vacant strip mall store.
• Finally!  New episodes of your favorite 16 TV shows.
• You have lost one of your children for at least 30 minutes in your local corn maze.
• You put away your entire summer wardrobe, only to be immediately hit by a major heatwave.
• You experience an overwhelming compulsion to go apple-picking.
• Pumpkin-spice.  Everyfreakingwhere.
-Adapted from McSweeney’s (First published in BS in 2017)

You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

What is one strange or notable thing about your home town?

Question:   A survey asked women what they want most to change about their man. #1 was how he dresses. #2 was what he eats. What was #3?
Answer:  His friends

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.


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