September 25 2018

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Tuesday, September 25, 2018        Edition: #6300

#6300 – That’s a Lotta Sheet!

★ Freddy Krueger is coming back to terrify teens one more time.  But this time it will be on TV.  Robert Englund will bring his razor-clawed serial killer to “The Goldbergs” for its Halloween episode on Oct. 31. In a promo, mom Beverly nonchalantly introduces “Fredward”, as she calls him, and asks, “Is there a Mrs. Krueger? Because I have a Rolodex.” The last time Englund played the dream demon in a substantial way was in 2003’s “Freddy vs. Jason,” which pitted his “Nightmare on Elm Street” character with Jason Voorhees, the hockey-masked horror in “Friday the 13th.” Jackie Earle Haley took over the role of Freddy in the 2010 franchise reboot.
★ Jennifer Lopez is getting sick and tired of being sued by the same guy and she is demanding a court throw out the man’s latest attempt to bring a lawsuit. Lopez – along with Al Roker – is looking to get Everette Draughn’s case against them over a reality show they produced, “Big Easy Justice,” dismissed. Draughn was featured in an April 2012 episode of the show, which he claims falsely painted him as a car thief. Lopez’s response to the suit, which was filed in New York, says that not only did the plaintiff sign a written release six years ago, but the same case was heard in a Louisiana courtroom, with the same facts and circumstances, against the same defendants.
★ James Woods has been locked out of his Twitter account over a tweet he sent out months ago that was found to be in violation of Twitter’s rules.The tweet was posted July 20 and includes a hoax meme that said it came from Democrats and encouraged men not to vote in the midterm elections. Woods got an email from Twitter on Thursday, saying the tweet “has the potential to be misleading in a way that could impact an election.” The email says Woods can use his account again if he deletes the tweet, which he refuses to do, saying that doing so would violate his right to freedom of speech.
★ Michelle Obama is a woman of many talents, and she just showed off yet another skill by helping a Chicago couple exchange vows during their wedding ceremony. The bride’s father is the Deputy Mayor of Chicago and, as you know, Michelle has deep roots there.  Online video shows the former First Lady assisting in the nuptials of Stephanie Rivkin and Joel Sircus.  Obama is also about to hit the road on a 10-city stadium book tour to promote her anticipated new memoir, “Becoming”.
★ Arnold and Patrick Schwarzenegger went back to their roots on Saturday to celebrate Patrick’s 25th birthday in Munich, Germany. The father-son duo marked the occasion at Oktoberfest. It was a long trip for Patrick, but not so much for Arnold. The former Governator has been in nearby Budapest, shooting the yet-untitled “Terminator 6” movie.
(Say it with me….and “He’ll be back….”)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sofia Vergara, David Alan Grier, Tyga featuring Offset
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Taraji P. Henson, BTS
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): America Ferrera, Nas
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ted Danson, Interpol, Ben Sesar
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ben Howard
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Norm Macdonald, Judy Greer, Nick Nemeroff
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Tom Arnold, D’Andra Simmons
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Taraji P. Henson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Gina Rodriguez, Jessica Radloff, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ed O’Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez
• “NCIS” (CBS): Season 16 premiere
• “FBI” (CBS): Series premiere
• “The Gifted” (FOX): Season 2 premiere
• “Lethal Weapon” (FOX): Season 3 premiere
• “This Is Us” (NBC): Season 3 premiere

• Ariana Grande — After skipping the Emmys last week to take care of her mental health in the wake of the death of her ex-boyfriend Max Miller, she tweeted a reassuring message for her fans, saying “everything will be okay” and “i love u so v much.”
• Justin Timberlake — He and Shawn Mendes stunned fans with a surprise duet at the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Saturday.  Timberlake brought the arena to a standstill when he announced his special guest, who joined him onstage to sing ‘What Goes Around… Comes Around’.
• Sam Smith – has apologized for pulling out of the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Friday. night due to “unforeseen circumstances.” On Saturday, he tweeted: “Hello beautiful people. Thank you for your lovely messages. Just been to see my voice doctor in Boston after last night’s scare in Vegas, everything is luckily ok but I need to rest it this week in preparation for the start of Asia tour. I’m sorry everyone.”  He also posted a photo of himself at a doctor’s office.
• Drake – had to cancel his Miami concerts on Friday and Saturday due to sickness. He gave fans an update on his Instagram Story, writing, “I just wanted to say how sorry I am about these two Miami shows.  I got so ill so fast and I had never experienced anything like that in my life.”
• Paul McCartney – gives some of the credit for his new “Egypt Station” album’s debut at #1 to his appearance on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke.  But Sir Paul was initially reluctant to appear on the show: “At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it, to tell you the truth.  And then when I eventually agreed to do it and got into it, and then James’ ideas started to come out, like, ‘OK, we’ll do it in Liverpool and we’ll do this…’ I started to think, particularly when I got in the car with him, ‘You know, this is fun!’”
• Paul Simon — Concluded his “Homeward Bound: The Farewell Tour” on Saturday at Flushing Meadows Corona Park, in Queens, N.Y., close to the neighborhood where he grew up. The set opened with ‘America’, and concluded with the song that kicked off his career, his 1965 No. 1 hit as one-half of Simon & Garfunkel, ‘The Sound of Silence’.
• Josh Turner – will fulfill a lifelong dream with the October 26 release of his gospel album “I Serve a Savior”. A deeply spiritual person, Turner says he’s been waiting to create the faith-based collection for a long while, and he’s finally found the right time.  It will feature some originals and some cover versions of gospel songs, and will feature guests including Bobby Osborne and Sonya Isaacs.
• Chris Young – had a personal dream come true when he headlined his hometown digs—Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena—on Saturday night. And things got even more surreal when he was joined on stage by Brad Paisley for a duet of Paisley’s ‘I’m Still a Guy’.

• “Skyscraper” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  A security expert must infiltrate a burning skyscraper, 225 stories above ground, when his family are trapped inside by criminals. (Dwayne Johnson, Neve Campbell)
• “Eighth Grade” (R-Rated, Comedy):  An introverted teenage girl tries to survive the last week of her disastrous eighth grade year before leaving to start high school. (Elsie Fisher, Josh Hamilton)
• “Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation” (PG, Animation/Kids):  Count Dracula and company participate in a cruise for sea-loving monsters, unaware that their boat is being commandeered by the monster-hating Van Helsing family. (Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez)
• “Gotti” (R-Rated, Drama):  Follows infamous crime boss John Gotti’s rise to become the “Teflon Don” of the Gambino Crime Family in New York City, as recounted by his son John Jr. (John Travolta, Spencer Rocco Lofranco, Kelly Preston)
• “Hot Summer Nights” (R-Rated, Drama):  A 1980s sheltered teenage boy comes of age during a wild summer in Cape Cod, where he gets rich from selling pot to gangsters, falls in love for the first time, and eventually realizes that he is in over his head. (Timothée Chalamet, Maika Monroe)
• “Leave No Trace” (PG, Drama):  A father and his thirteen year-old daughter are living an ideal existence in a vast urban park in Portland, Oregon, when a small mistake derails their lives forever. (Thomasin McKenzie, Ben Foster)

It would seem that Spock’s home planet has been found.  A planet has been discovered which orbits a star that Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry once claimed to be the parent star of his fictional planet “Vulcan”, home to the famous character of Mr. Spock.  The planet, just 16 light-years from Earth,  orbits a star known as 40 Eridani A in the constellation Eridanus.  After a few Star Trek books named the star system as home to Vulcan over the years, Roddenberry wrote a letter in 1991 to the astronomy magazine “Sky & Telescope”, naming 40 Eridani A as the star around which Vulcan orbited.  More than a few astronomers took note of the new discovery, with one calling the fact that they may have found Vulcan “An amazing coincidence.” Oh, and another thing…the planet, officially known (at least here on Earth) as HD 26965, “may be an ideal host star for an advanced civilization.”
(Spock could have told you that!)
(Great.  Now someone tell me what planet William Shatner is from!)
(Where no man has gone before?)

✗ Only pretending to listen:  You nod your head, but honestly, all you’re hearing is white noise. That sends the message “You don’t matter.” (But, Fortnite!)
✗ Leaving your wet towel and dirty clothes everywhere:  Unless you live in a hotel or have a maid, it’s not a bad idea to become acquainted with things like the bathroom towel rack and the hamper.  (I’ll admit it, I’ve been called a ‘clothes tornado’.
✗ Not wiping out the sink after you shave:  No one wants to see your stubble scattered all over the sink.  Wipe down your post-shave carnage.  (But she’s the one who told me it was time that I shaved…)
✗ Acting like a complete baby when you have even a slight sniffle:  When she gets sick, she doesn’t expect the world to stop. But when he catches even a minor cold, he practically declares a state of national emergency. (Hey, it’s a man-cold, and it was named after me!)
✗ Sitting on the toilet for a ridiculous amount of time:  It’s a mystery that has perplexed women for centuries. Why does a man go into the bathroom and stay for far longer than necessary? (And we did it even before smartphones were invented!)
✗ Needing praise for doing even the smallest chore:  Taking the trash out or changing the batteries in the smoke detector is a good thing to do, but she doesn’t expect a medal every time she makes a delicious meal or does a load of laundry.  (Does she?)
✗ Leaving the toilet seat up:  You knew this was coming.  Here it is.
✗ Being overly amused by flatulence:  Saying “Pull my finger” is NOT her idea of humor.  Especially in the company of her parents.  (That explains why rom-coms rarely have ‘fart jokes’!)
(Does it help at all that I only do some of these things on purpose?)
(***BS NOTE:  Tomorrow, it’s the ladies’ turn…***)


1929 [89] Barbara Walters, Boston MA, retired TV personality (“The View” 1997-2014, “20/20″ 1978-2004)/1st female network news anchor (“ABC Evening News” 1976-78)/TV Hall of Fame (1990)

1944 [74] Michael Douglas, New Brunswick NJ, movie actor (“Wall Street” movies, “Basic Instinct”)/TV actor (2013 Emmy for “Behind the Candelabra”)/Mr. Catherine Zeta-Jones since 2000.

1951 [67] Mark Hamill, Oakland CA, movie actor (‘Luke Skywalker’ in the original “Star Wars” trilogy)

1958 [60] Michael Madsen, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs”, “Kill Bill”)

1968 [50] Will Smith, Philadelphia PA, TV and movie actor (“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” 1990-96, “Hancock”, “Men In Black” films)/sometime rapper (‘Switch’, ‘Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It’)/Mr Jada Pinkett since 1997. COMING UP…”Aladdin” 2019

1961 [57] Heather Locklear, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Melrose Place”, “Hot in Cleveland”)

1969 [49] Catherine Zeta-Jones, Swansea, Wales, movie actress (“Rock of Ages”, “Chicago”)/Mrs. Michael Douglas since 2000 (she’s 25 years younger)

1980 [38] T.I. (Clifford Harris Jr, AKA ‘Tip’), Atlanta GA, rapper-producer (‘No Mediocre’ f/Iggy Azalea, ‘Live Your Life’)/movie actor (“Fast & Furious”, “American Gangster”)/ex-con

1983 [35] Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino), Edwards Air Force Base CA, TV actor (“Community” 2009-2014), movie actor (“Spider-Man: Homecoming”)/rapper as ‘Childish Gambino (‘This is America’)/DJ (as  mcDJ)

• “Comic Book Day”, honoring the books you ‘read’ by looking at pictures (and the inspiration behind 75% of the movies coming out these days…)

• “One-Hit Wonder Day”, honoring artists who made it big only once before fading into obscurity. (Or milking it for the next 30 years…) What is your favorite?  NET:

• “Psychotherapy Day”, the 7th annual when therapists, clients, and therapy advocates unite to promote the profession, fight stigma, educate the public, and draw attention to the needs of community mental health centers. NET:

• “World Pharmacists Day”, recognizing the role of the pharmacist in improving health in every corner of the world. Here’s to the drug pushers!
• Sign out front reads: “Wholesalers Welcome.”
• Her wall-mounted diploma is made from cut-up newspaper headlines.
• Instructs you to: “Take 27 of the big red ones, twice a day … with a tequila slammer.”
• Asks if you brought along your ‘subscription’.
• Asks if you want your Viagra regular or extra crispy.
• Instead of “Good morning, can I help you?” he greets you with “You’re not a cop, are you?”
• Counts out pills by saying, “One for you, two for me …”
– First published in “BS” 1999.

• “Cooking Day”, established to honor and commemorate the joys of home cooking. Often taken for granted or deemed a time-consuming chore.

• “Food Service Employees Day”, to appreciate the hard work that food service employees put in every day to take care of people dining away from home. (Give them a break today and eat at home. After all, it’s also “Cooking Day”.)

[Wed] Lumberjack Day
[Wed] National Women’s Health and Fitness Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Milk Day
[Thurs] World Tourism Day

1964 [54] ‘Mary Poppins’, starring Julie Andrews as the magical nanny in an Oscar-winning role, opens in wide release in movie theaters

1980 [38] Led Zeppelin drummer John ‘Bonzo’ Bonham is found dead at age 32 from asphyxiation on his own vomit after drinking 40 shots of vodka on the eve of the band’s US tour.  The band subsequently splits.

1974 [44] Scientists first report Freon gas from aerosol spray cans is destroying the ozone layer (it’s banned in 1978)

1965 [53] 60-year-old Satchel Paige becomes the oldest-ever Major League Baseball player (pitches 3 scoreless innings for Kansas City)


✓ Women spend nearly one year of their lives deciding what to wear.
✓ The average person walks 75,000 miles (120,000 KM) in a lifetime (five times round the world).
✓ 56% of typing is completed by your left hand (if you type properly).
✓ The word ‘News’ is actually an acronym standing for the 4 cardinal compass points – North, East, West, and South!
✓ Google’s name is a play on the word ‘googol’, which refers to the number 1 followed by one hundred zeroes.
✓ ‘Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’ is the fear of long words. (Good luck with that…)

• Little Red Chevette
• Like a Sturgeon
• Lady Marmaduke
• I Got Flu, Babe
• Every Bad Breath You Take
• Let’s Talk About Socks
• The Heating’s On
• You Can Leave Your Teeth In
• You Shook Me All Night Wrong
• Drop it Like it’s Snot

Best of BS:

• I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
• I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.
• Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
• People say I’m condescending (that means I talk down to people).
• If spiders can sit on the web all day, So can I.
• You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
• I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.
-Twitter (First published in BS in 2017)

1.  What is the practice of covering the roots of a plant with a layer of bard or other material to protect them from frost?
a. Fertilizing
b. Mulching [CORRECT]
c. Burrowing
d. Hibernating

2.  What is the collective name for fishing lines, hooks, floats and weights?
a. Sack
b. Block
c. Tackle [CORRECT]
d. Turnover

What do you think is the sexiest name for a woman?  For a man?

All my life, I thought air was free — until I bought a bag of chips.

Question:  According to a study, you’ll eat almost 35% less at meal time if you do what?
Answer:  Chew loudly

Every strike brings you closer to the next home run.


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