Tuesday, September 10, 2013         Edition: #5065

Sweet Sheet!

✶ 38-year-old actress Angelina Jolie has shown off a new tattoo wile Down Under in Sydney, where she’s staying with her 6 kids while shooting the new film “Unbroken”. Seems she’s had an Arabic phrase inked on the inside of her right forearm below a previous inscription of the Arabic word for ‘determination’. It’s her 18th tattoo and is believed to follow her tradition of getting a new tat after momentous moments in her life. The new body art may commemorate the double mastectomy she underwent to prevent breast cancer this year. (We’re still working on a translation of the new ink.)
– Bang Showbiz
✶ Actor Brad Pitt has confirmed that he & his team are developing a sequel to the surprise zombie hit “World War Z”. Plagued by production problems, the movie rallied to score solid reviews earlier this year and racked up a whopping $550 million+ in worldwide box office. In a new interview, Pitt says: “We have so many ideas on the table from the time we spent developing this thing and figuring out how the zombie worlds work. We gotta get the script right first to determine if we go further.” (Would you pay to see a sequel?)
– Variety.com
✶ Over 75,000 furious “50 Shades of Grey” fans have now signed an online petition to get the upcoming movie version re-cast. That hasn’t fazed 33-year-old English actor Charlie Hunnam, who’ll play ‘Christian Grey’ opposite Dakota Johnson’s ‘Ana Steele’. Though he was first nervous about making a 3-movie commitment coming off a 7-year stint on TV’s “Sons of Anarchy”, he says he was spurred on by ‘tangible chemistry’ he sensed with co-star Johnson during a read-through of the script. (Odds are the ‘chemistry’ had more to do with dollars.)
– “Hollywood Life”
✶ Simon Cowell is said to be ready to fork out $30,000-a-month for a luxury 3-bedroom condo in NYC for his pregnant lover Lauren Silverman, but residents in the building are attempting to first get strict rules put in place to prevent the media from bombarding their home. Meanwhile, it’s reported the couple are ‘seriously considering’ a $2-million interview deal with Oprah Winfrey in a bid to ‘set the record straight’. (‘Considering’ = negotiating.)
– “Daily Star”
✶ And former child star Tami Erin is making a deal to release a sex tape to stop her ex-boyfriend profiting from the explicit footage. The 39-year-old actress, who played the title role in 1988 movie “The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking”, previously insisted she was furious with her former partner for going public with the racy tape and attempting to sell it to the media. However, she has now moved to broker a deal with an adult film company herself in a bid to stop her ex from making money off it. (Her way of saying ‘screw you’.)
– TMZ.com

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Local Natives (“Hummingbird”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kelly Rowland (“Talk a Good Game”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Britney Spears (“Work Bitch”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Gary Clark Jr (“Blak & Blu”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Montréal duo Blue Hawaii (“Untogether”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Volcano Choir (“Repave”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Sheryl Crow (“Feels Like Home”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Sean Kingston (“Back 2 Life”, released today).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – The winner is chosen in the 10th season finalé; guest judges Adam Shankman, tWitch, and Paula Abdul.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Blues legend BB King.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Jennifer Nettles (“That Girl”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Gloria Estefan (“The Standards”, out today).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Alicia Keys (“Girl On Fire”). Rerun.

• Arctic Monkeys – Today their 5th album, “AM”, is released. The 12-track set includes several collaborations, including one with Josh Homme (Queens Of the Stone Age).
• Bruno Mars – It’s been confirmed he’s set to perform at the Super Bowl 48 halftime show on February 2nd in New Jersey.
• The Clash – Today’s mega-box set release, “Sound System”, collects remastered versions of all 5 Clash albums; 3 discs of singles, rarities, demos, and B-sides; plus a DVD. MSRP for the box set’s CD version … $177.29.
• Janelle Monáe – Her long-awaited sophomore album, “The Electric Lady”, arrives today. The 19-song, 2-disc set features appearances from Erykah Badu, Esperanza Spalding, Miguel, Prince, and Solange Knowles. A Target stores-only ‘Special Edition’ includes 4 extra songs.
• Keith Urban – His 1st new album in nearly 3 years, “Fuse”, is out today. His 7th studio release has been nearly a year in the making.
• One Direction – Louis Tomlinson was left writhing in agony after pro soccer player Gabriel Agbonlahor knocked him to the ground during a charity match in Glasgow, Scotland. The singer was in so much pain he hobbled off to the sideline, where he was seen vomiting.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Tonight their new North American tour begins at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre. It runs through October 9th in Tulsa OK. QOTSA also play the Austin City Limits festival in October.
• Sheryl Crow – Today she releases her country debut, “Feels Like Home”. In a first for Crow, all 12 songs were co-written with other songwriters, including Brad Paisley. She says she never realized what an amazingly supportive musical community Nashville offers until moving there.

• “Chasing Ice” ( PG-13 Documentary ): Acclaimed environmental photographer James Balog heads to the Arctic to capture images for “National Geographic” telling the story of the Earth’s changing climate. His ensuing ‘Extreme Ice Survey’ uses revolutionary time-lapse cameras to capture a multi-year record of the world’s changing glaciers.
• “MDNA World Tour” ( NR Concert Documentary ): The most successful music tour of 2012 played to sold out crowds in 29 countries. Madonna personally spent 6 months editing footage from 80 shows and 30 cameras. The result is a front row seat to a visually stunning extravaganza that features 25 dancers and hundreds of costumes.
• “Radio Unnameable” ( NR Documentary ): For nearly 50 years, legendary radio personality Bob Fass has been heard at midnight on NYC listener-sponsored station WBAI, utilizing the airwaves for mobilization long before today’s innovations in social media. The doc draws from Fass’s extraordinary personal archive of audio recordings.
• “Star Trek Into Darkness” (PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): JJ Abrams’ sequel to his 2009 reboot of the franchise follows ‘Captain Kirk’ as he leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction. Stars Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Benedict Cumberbatch.
• Also released today: “Army Wives: The Complete 7th Season” (TV); “Big Bang Theory: The Complete 6th Season” (TV); “Castle: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Chicago Fire: Season 1” (TV); “Homeland: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Complete Season 8” (TV); “Jesus Christ Superstar Live Arena Tour” (Musical); “Sesame Street: C is for Cooking” (Family); “The Smurfs: The Legend of Smurfy Hollow” (Animation); “Supernatural: The Complete 8th Season” (TV); and “We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks” (Documentary).

What to expect from today’s big Apple Inc unveiling event. A listing of what and what not to expect and the likelihood of each …
✓ iOS 7 is a near-certainty. It’s the most extensive redesign of Apple’s mobile operating system since its introduction in 2007.
✓ New iPhone(s) are definitely expected. It’s thought there may be 2 new phones to go along with the new software: iPhone 5S and iPhone 5C. Also likely: Phones in the color gold.
✓ OS X 10.9, codenamed Mavericks, is likely. It should run on any Mac that is currently supported by OS X 10.8.
✓ iTunes Radio is also thought to be likely. Apple has previously said its Pandora-like music service would be launching this Fall.
Also possible: New iPads and new Macs; but updates to iPods, Apple TV, and AirPort Express are deemed unlikely. Plenty of pundits and analysts will be looking for Apple to pull a big ‘one more thing’ out of its pocket at today’s event.
– Sourced from ArsTechnica.com

• Canadians spend by far the most at bakeries of any country, with an average of $257.70 per person in 2012.
• Americans spent an average of $649.50 on fast food in 2012, more than the residents of any other country.
• The Greeks spent more than those of any other country at cafés last year … $609.20 per person.
• The Spanish spent an incredible $1,334.60 per person at bars and pubs last year … over 4 times as much as their closest competition, the Irish.
• The average New Zealander spent $208.50 at full-service restaurants with North American cuisine last year, significantly more than any others … including North Americans.
• The average Italian spent $447.80 at pizza restaurants in 2012, almost 4 times the average North American.
• Australians spent $120 at chicken fast-food restaurants in 2012, by far the most of any country.
– Condensed from HuffingtonPost.com

According to a recent poll of 846 film critics …
10 “8½” (Federico Fellini, 1963)
9. “The Passion of Joan of Arc” (Carl Theodor Dreyer, 1928)
8. “Man With a Movie Camera” (Dziga Vertov, 1929)
7. “The Searchers” (John Ford, 1956)
6. “2001: A Space Odyssey” (Stanley Kubrick, 1968)
5. “Sunrise” (FW Murnau, 1927)
4. “La Règle du jeu” (Jean Renoir, 1939)
3. “Tokyo Story” (Yasujirô Ozu, 1953)
2. “Citizen Kane” (Orson Welles, 1941)
1. “Vertigo” (Alfred Hitchcock, 1958)
(Apparently in the last 45 years … nothing but crap.)
– OpenCulture.com

• The notion of drunk people going on late-night cow-tipping sprees is scientifically implausible as it would take at least 5 people of average strength to topple a cow.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”
• The sovereign Arab state of Qatar takes into account people’s occupation before deciding whether they can apply for a driving licence.
– BBC News

“The Bull Sheet” will be on hiatus September 16-27 inclusive. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days.


1949 [64] Bill O’Reilly, NYC, right-wing conservative TV personality (“The O’Reilly Factor”)

1950 [63] Joe Perry, Lawrence MA, rock guitarist (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, “Dream On”)

1960 [53] Colin Firth, Grayshott UK, movie actor (“The King’s Speech”, “Mamma Mia!”)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2011)  COMING UP: “The Secret Service” (2014)

1966 [47] Stevie D, Chicago IL, rock guitarist (Buckcherry-“Sorry”, “Crazy Bitch”)

1968 [45] Guy Ritchie, Hatfield UK, movie director (“Sherlock Holmes” films, “Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels”)/wed to Madonna 2000-08

1974 [39] Ryan Phillippe (FIL-uh-pee), New Castle DE, movie actor (“The Lincoln Lawyer”, “Crash”)/ex-Mr Reese Witherspoon (1999-2007)

1984 [29] Matthew Followill, Oklahoma City OK, rock guitarist (Kings of Leon-“Use Somebody”, “Sex on Fire”)

1986 [27] Ashley Monroe, Knoxville TN, country singer (Pistol Annies-“Hush Hush”, “Hell on Heels”)

• “International Make Up Day”. If there is someone you are estranged from this might be a good time to talk to them to see if the relationship can be salvaged.

• “Make Your Bed Day”, an annual observance on the 2nd Tuesday of September encouraging us to make tidying up the bedroom part of our daily routine. A recent study found that those who make their beds daily describe themselves as happier overall than those who don’t.

• “Sewing Machine Day”, on the date that the sewing machine was patented in 1846. The first sewing machines were actually made in France in the 1830s. (What’s the ugliest thing mom ever whipped up on hers for you to wear?)

• “Swap Ideas Day”, set aside to encourage us to collaborate on creative thinking and new solutions to old problems. (So your co-workers can take all the credit.)

• “World Suicide Prevention Day”, the 9th annual as declared by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. The idea is to raise awareness of one of our biggest killers.

1993 [20] “The X-Files” debuts on FOX-TV

2000 [13] NBC-TV’s “The West Wing” wins a record-setting 9 Emmy Awards, including ‘Best Drama Series’

1991 [22] Nirvana’s landmark track “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is released as a single

1953 [60] Swanson introduces the 1st ‘TV Dinner’ (3 or 4 rubberized ‘foods’ on a sectioned aluminum tray … they taste like a rerun)

2008 [05] The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) particle accelerator, ‘Biggest Scientific Experiment in History’, is powered up beneath Geneva, Switzerland (leads to the ‘god particle’)

[Wed] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Milkshake Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] “The Family”; “Insidious Chapter 2” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Rock in Rio 2013 begins (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
This Week Is … Housekeepers Week
This month Is … Prostate Cancer Awareness Month


• You can’t think of anything else during your date except strangling the friend who set you up.
• You find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time lifting her head out of the soup.
• He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
• Her multiple personalities begin arguing after dinner about splitting the bill.
• After 2 beers he starts calling you ‘Mommy’.
• Every place you suggest for dinner, he says, “Nah, there might be cops there.”
• She’s been on “Dr Phil” 3 times.

Which animal is so powerful, its tail can generate 500 horsepower?
a. Boa Constrictor.
b. Blue Whale. [CORRECT]
c. Bull.
– “Weird Fact Of the Day”

If you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach … you’re aiming too high.

Question: During your career, THIS will happen almost 200 times.
Answer: You’ll be late for work.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

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