BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
According to People.com, movie actor Ryan Reynolds & “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively have been married at Boone Hall Plantation in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina (Brit rocker Florence Welch was the entertainment) . . . This week a whack of new daytime TV shows have debuted, hosted by Jeff Probst (“Survivor”); Katie Couric (ex-“CBS Evening News”); and Ricki Lake (making her return to the talk genre), adding to the already crowded talk show landscape (which will survive?) . . . Actress Keira Knightley tells “The Mirror” she’s not prudish and has no qualms about onscreen nudity (well, interest in the new version of “Anna Karenina” just went up!) . . . Victoria Beckham’s new Spring/Summer fashion line has previewed at New York Fashion Week, highlighted by flat Manolo Blahnik-designed gladiator-boots and an overall refined natural look, completed by gelled, ‘girl-in-the-street hair’ (but no smiling, dammit!) . . . 22-year-old actress Emma Watson is now the ‘most dangerous celebrity’ to search online, based on the frequency of her name being used to trap users into downloading malware (when searched, her name has a 1-in-8 chance of posing a threat) . . . And a Bible once owned by Elvis Presley has sold at auction in Stockport, England for $94,000, more than double the expected sale price, however a pair of underwear which hadn’t been washed since he wore them onstage in 1977 did not manage to sell (seems there’s still some sanity left in the world after all).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Britney Spears & Simon Cowell (“The X Factor”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Rita Ora (“Ora”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Thee Oh Sees (“Carrion Crawler/The Dream”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Cat Power (“Sun”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Jeff the Brotherhood (“Hypnotic Nights”). Rerun.
• “The New Normal” (NBC/CTV) – The new sitcom from “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy is about a gay couple that hires a surrogate mother. Tonight’s episode is now being labeled the ‘premiere’, although a last-minute scheduling change put the pilot episode on-air last night.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The final 4 dancers perform; director Rob Marshall (“Chicago”, “Nine”) is guest judge.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Emeli Sandé (“Our Version of Events”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – As blind auditions continue, the coaches select vocalists for their teams.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Akon – Well here’s something different. He’s taken legal action to be recognized as the father of 2 boys born in 2009 and 2010, demanding joint legal custody and the right to … pay child support. The identity of the mother has not been revealed.
• Bob Dylan – Today his 35th solo album, “Tempest”, is released. It includes a 14-minute-long track about the tragic sinking of the ‘Titanic’ in 1912. The release coincides with the 50th anniversary of his self-titled debut, released in 1962.
• David Guetta – Today he re-releases his 2011 album “Nothing But The Beat”, re-packaged with new music. The new version, “Nothing But The Beat 2.0”, features 8 new tracks.
• Dave Matthews Band – Their new album “Away From the World” is out today, featuring 11 tracks plus an extra 3 with the ‘Deluxe’ versions of the CD and digital editions. A ‘Super-Deluxe Edition’ includes the CD, a DVD, a 2012 tour photo book and other trinkets.
• Kix Brooks – Formerly half of Brooks & Dunn, he releases the solo album “New To This Town” today, a 12-song collection, 9 of which he co-wrote. Jay DeMarcus of Rascal Flatts co-produced the title track.
• Lady Gaga – Her next album “ARTPOP” will also be an app for iPad, iPhone, mobile and computer. It will be completely interactive with chats, films for every song, extra music and content, Gaga-inspired games, fashion updates, magazines and more.
• Little Big Town – Their 5th studio album, “Tornado”, is released today. It features the hit single “Pontoon”, which tops this week’s ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart.
• Nicki Minaj – This November she’s re-releasing her latest album as “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded – The Re-Up”. The recycled package will include some new material.
• Rihanna – Her 2013 “Diamonds World Tour” will kick off in Buffalo NY on March 8th. So far, 27 dates have been announced, with more to be added.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Girl in Progress” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): Eva Mendes plays a single mom who’s too busy juggling responsibilities to give her daughter the attention she desperately needs, so the young girl plans a short-cut to adulthood on her own. Co-stars Matthew Modine, Patricia Arquette.
• “Snow White & The Huntsman” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): The traditional fairytale is twisted and retold with ‘Snow White’ as a warrior princess; a fresh plot; and loads of violent action. Stars Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth.
• “Titanic” ( PG-13 Adventure Drama): The Blu-ray debut of James Cameron’s epic about the sinking of the iconic ship. Available in a 4-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo, a 4-disc 3D Blu-ray set, and a 2-disc DVD version. Both Blu-ray sets feature more than 2-and-a-half hours of new footage.
• “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” ( PG-13 Comedy): Follows 5 couples whose intertwined lives are turned upside down by the challenges of impending parenthood. Stars Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Chace Crawford, Brooklyn Decker and more.
• Also released today: “Absolutely Fabulous: 20th Anniversary Special” (Vintage TV); “The Big Bang Theory: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Blue Bloods: The 2nd Season” (TV); “Castle: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Classic Educational Shorts: Vol 5 & 6” (Documentary Shorts); “Kojak: Season 5” (Classic TV); “My Trip to Al-Qaeda” (Documentary); “Private Practice: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Produced by George Martin” (Documentary); “Terra Nova: The Complete Series” (TV); “30 Rock: Season 6” (TV); “Up All Night: Season 1” (TV).

RELOCATING THE DOTTED LINE:
Many forms require people to sign their names at the bottom to signify they’ve supplied honest information. But to really encourage people to be honest, a recent study suggests it would be better to have them sign at the top of the form instead, before they fill in anything else. In experiments, having people sign at the top made them less likely to cheat when reporting how much money they earn, or when claiming travel expenses. People who signed in the usual spot at the bottom were, statistically, just as likely to cheat as those who didn’t have to sign at all. (What do you always lie about on forms? Age? Height? Weight? Sex?)
– DiscoverMagazine.com

2012 HIP-HOP CASH KINGS:
According to a new ranking of total income over the past year …
5. Lil Wayne … $27 million.
4. Kanye West … $35 million.
3. Jay-Z … $38 million.
2. Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs … $45 million from a slew of products including ‘Ciroc’ vodka.
1. Dr Dre … $110 million, thanks mainly to his line of ‘Beats’ headphones.
Also in the top 10: Drake, Nicki Minaj (a ‘Cash Queen’), Eminem, and Ludacris.
– Forbes.com

RIDE LIKE THE WIND:
The State of Texas has approved the fastest speed limit in the USA – 85 mph (138 km/hr) – about the same speed associated with the winds in a Category 1 hurricane. Many US highways have limits of 75 mph and some go as high as 80. But no matter the speed limit, most of us drive about 10 mph (20 km/hr) above it, thinking we’re unlikely to get pulled over for such a minor infraction. One insurance industry spokesperson warns that the 85 mph limit in Texas means we’re likely to see drivers going 95-to-100 mph. (In Montana, that’s parking.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

SURPRISING PLACES GERMS HIDE IN YOUR HOME:
✗ Bedsheets – Germ-ridden linens need your attention. They should be cleaned once a week. Wash sheets in hot water with a splash of bleach. If they’re colored, use a product that contains peroxide.
✗ Dishwasher – When you allow dishes to accumulate for a few days, growth of bacteria invariably increases. If you don’t plan on running a load soon, rinse your plates with a mild bleach solution (a shot glass of bleach to a half-quart of water) to kill surface organisms.
✗ Sponge – In 1 study, nearly a third of dishcloths and sponges tested were laden with staph, twice the rate of contamination in toilet bowls. To prevent this, throw your wet sponges/clothes in the microwave and zap them on high for 1 minute.
✗ Toothbrush – A 2011 study found that nearly half of never-before-used brushes were tainted with bacteria. It gets worse when you put the bristles to work. Regularly run your toothbrush through a clean dishwasher, using standard dish detergent.
✗ Towels – Wash them in hot water, followed by a hot dryer. Most vegetative bacteria die if you hang towels in a dry climate, so never leave them in a damp pile. In dry months, you can get away with fresh towels every 3 days or so.
✗ Vacuum Cleaner – The very tool we rely on to keep our homes clean can actually conspire against us and make us sick. Researchers at the University of Arizona found fecal matter on 50% of vacuum brushes tested, and E coli on 13%.
✗ Washing Machine – If you wash a load of undergarments, you transfer about 500 million E coli bacteria to the machine. This can contaminate other clothes, which harbor germs of their own. Wash whites first, and use chlorine bleach. It sanitizes the machine.
– Condensed from MensHealth.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Drivers in the French countryside must leave at least a meter-and-a-half (5-ft) gap when passing … cats.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Iceland has the world’s greatest Internet use, with 95% of its population online.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 09.11.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1965 [47] Moby (Richard Melville Hall), NYC, techno/rock musician-producer (“Disco Lies”, “Move”)

1967 [45] Harry Connick Jr, New Orleans LA, jazz/pop singer-composer (“In Concert on Broadway”)/movie actor (“Dolphin Tale”, “Hope Floats”)/TV actor (“Will & Grace” 2002-06)

1977 [35] Jon Buckland, London UK, rock guitarist (Coldplay-“Paradise”, “Viva La Vida”)

1977 [35] Ludacris (Christopher Bridges), Champaign IL, rapper (f/Pharrell-“Money Maker”, f/Shawnna-“Stand Up”)/movie actor (“RocknRolla”, “Crash”)

1981 [31] Charles Kelley, Augusta GA, country singer (Lady Antebellum-“Just a Kiss”, “Need You Now”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Emergency Number Day”, saluting the direct-dial 9-1-1 emergency system. (In the UK it’s 9-9-9; in Australia 0-0-0, in New Zealand 1-1-1, in much of Europe 1-1-2.)

• “Make Your Bed Day”, encouraging us to make tidying up the bedroom part of our daily routine. A recent study found that those who make their beds daily describe themselves as happier overall than those who don’t.

• “9/11 Remembrance Day”. 11 years ago at 8:46 am EDT, terrorists began the attack on NYC’s World Trade Center using hijacked commercial airliners. The Pentagon in Arlington VA was subsequently targeted.

• “No News is Good News Day”, whose proponents claim if you don’t listen, read or watch any news for the day, you’ll feel better. (Annual observance by the ‘Head-In-the-Sand Association’.)

• “Tricky Handshake Day”. Remember they only count if you spit on your hand first!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [16] 1st recording by a major artist released exclusively on the Internet (David Bowie-“Telling Lies”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1997 [15] Mother Teresa receives the 1st state funeral accorded a private citizen of India since the death of Mohandas Gandhi in 1948

1999 [13] “Wall Street Journal” reports Bayer Corp will quit putting a wad of cotton in bottles of Aspirin (don’t you hate it when you have a splitting headache and you have to go through a cardboard box, plastic safety ring, childproof cap, Styrofoam seal, and wad of cotton BEFORE you get to an actual painkiller?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Chocolate Milkshake Day
[Wed] Videogames Day
[Thurs] Fortune Cookie Day
[Thurs] Positive Thinking Day
[Thurs] Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day
[Thurs] Peanut Day
This Week Is … Emergency Preparedness Week
This Month Is … National Impotence Month

BULL’S BITS

PROPOSED NEW BS COMMANDMENTS:
• Thou shalt exit the elevator before passing gas.
• Thou shalt not play “The Chicken Dance” at wedding receptions.
• Thou shalt not make ‘air quotes’ with your fingers while speaking.
• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, unless she weareth a skimpy little skirt.
• Thou shalt honor thy stepfather, though he be a dick.
• Thou shalt not wrap thy lumpy ass in spandex.
(Ask listeners for more!)
– Adapted from TopFive.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the weirdest behavior you’ve ever seen on an elevator? Among the antics reported in a CareerBuilder.com survey ….
– Pulling down a co-worker’s pants.
– Changing a baby’s diaper.
– Flossing teeth.
– Fist-fighting.
– Showing someone a rash and asking for a diagnosis.
(Back in the day, the Bull and a pal set up a card table & chairs in a condo elevator and dealt people in for a hand when they entered. There was also an open bar.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
On average, how often do elephants mate?
a. Every 4 days.
b. Every 4 months.
c. Every 4 years. [CORRECT, about the same as humans who’ve been married over a decade.]
– wiki.answers.com

BULL’S EYE:
In the wash of grief after 9/11, the remembrance of that horrific tragedy was misnamed “Patriot Day” by US Congress in October 2001. Nearly 3,000 people died in the attacks, but that does not make them ‘patriots’, merely innocent victims of a diabolical crime. The firefighters and police officers who perished in the carnage were certainly courageous and heroic professionals who selflessly and compassionately did their jobs. But did that necessarily make them ‘patriots’? No, they would have answered the call no matter the cause of the emergency. And consider this: An estimated 500 foreign nationals from 91 different countries were among those who died that day. Were they ‘patriots’? This well-intentioned blunder of a moniker needs to be corrected for posterity. “9/11 Remembrance Day” is far more apt.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A man’s idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Since they were introduced more than a century ago, more than a trillion of THESE have been sold.
Answer: Oreo cookies.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Well done is better then well said.