Thursday, September 11, 2014       Edition: #5303

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Taylor Swift has aired her grievances with a mystery female pop rival in the new song “Bad Blood” from her forthcoming album “1989”. Swift refuses to name names or go into specific details, but in a candid interview with “Rolling Stone” this week she blabs that a superstar female frenemy once tried to sabotage an entire arena tour by hiring away some of Swift’s people. So is it Katy Perry that is Taylor’s new ‘straight-up enemy’? Perry’s posted a cryptic tweet with references to the movie “Mean Girls”. (This all sounds like a pile of orchestrated claptrap to hype the pending album’s release. “1989” is out October 27th.)
★ It’s real estate and the city! “Sex & The City” star Sarah Jessica Parker & her actor-husband Matthew Broderick have just re-listed their jaw-dropping NYC townhouse … for $22 million. The 5-story, 6,800-square-foot brick home was built in 1846 and is located in the much-sought-after leafy Greenwich Village area. Included is (of course) every woman’s dream closet which Parker has stacked with designer clothes that are perfectly hung and spaced out, but surprisingly it includes only one small specially-designed shoe-rack. (‘Carrie Bradshaw’ would not approve.)
– @MailOnline
★ And it’s been announced that the 1st museum dedicated to the blues will open next year in St Louis, Missouri. The National Blues Museum project has been backed by musicians Albert King, Buddy Guy, Robert Cray, and actor John Goodman. The 12,000-square-foot site will feature exhibits honoring hundreds of musicians – including Albert King, BB King, Big Joe Turner, Etta James, Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, and T-Bone Walker – who’ve already been inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame. Opening day is scheduled for May 8, 2015. (As blues is one of the USA’s greatest contributions to music … this is long overdue.)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Garfunkel & Oates (“All Over Your Face”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Meghan Trainor (“All About That Bass”, from the new EP “Title”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ingrid Michaelson (“Girls & Boys”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Colourist (“The Colourist”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Harry Connick Jr (“American Idol”); Nick Jonas (“Nick Jonas”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Ryan Adams (“Ryan Adams”).
• “NFL Thursday Night Football” (CBS) – CBS-TV is hoping their new entry into the NFL weekly schedule kicks off with a ratings wallop. The Baltimore Ravens host the Pittsburgh Steelers.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Chris Brown (“X”, out September 16th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Rerun of the May 15th show in which all 10 past & present co-hosts (from Meredith Vieira to Jenny McCarthy) gather to salute retiring Barbara Walters.

• Avicii – The EDM DJ has suspended all touring and promotional activities due to health issues, apparently lingering problems related to the removal of his gallbladder and appendix earlier this year. He will recuperate in his hometown of Stockholm, Sweden.
• Britney Spears – She’s unveiled her new lingerie line in NYC as part of New York Fashion Week. Even though scantily clad models surrounded the singer all eyes were said to be on Miss Spears.
• Cee Lo Green – He’s lost another big gig in light of his controversial (idiotic?) Twitter comments about rape. The October 4th BayFest Music Festival in Mobile, Alabama has now axed his appearance, following the lead of the JBAB Freedom Live show in Washington DC.
• Eric Church – Tonight in Bossier City, Louisiana he launches the 31-date “Outsiders World Tour”, which includes his 1st ever headline gig at NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Dwight Yoakam guest stars at all shows, with alternating opening acts.
• Lee Brice – He wrote the title track of his new disc, “I Don’t Dance”, as a present to his wife on their anniversary. They wed in April of 2013.
• P!nk – She’s teaming with City & Colour’s Dallas Green to release a new folk album under the moniker You + Me. The duo’s debut effort, “Rose Ave”, is due on October 14th. The two began collaborating after he opened for her on several dates during her “Truth About Love” tour.
• U2 – A lot of complaints have been popping up online about the automatic download of their new album “Songs of Innocence” to more than a half-billion iTunes customers in 119 countries. This week’s surprise release is being described as the biggest in history. But some are not happy that there was no opt-out option. By the way, Bono admits Apple paid for the release, perhaps to bolster the reputation of its iCloud system, which was recently breached.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Dirty Grandpa” – This comedy set for a Christmas 2015 release stars Zack Efron as an uptight groom who, just before his wedding, is tricked into driving his vulgar former Army general (Robert De Niro) to Florida for Spring Break. Dan Mazer (“Da Ali G Show”) is on board to direct the film.
• “Hack Attack” – George Clooney will co-produce and direct the film version of reporter Nick Davies’ book about Britain’s infamous phone-hacking scandal. The book details the widespread breach of the voicemail of public officials, celebrities, and ordinary citizens by newspapers owned by Rupert Murdock’s News Corp. The movie starts shooting next year.
• “Now You See Me 2” – The sequel to this caper comedy is scheduled for June 10, 2016, the same weekend that the original was released in 2013. Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Morgan Freeman, and Michael Caine will all reprise their roles. The 1st film was a surprise success, with over $350 million in worldwide box office.
• “Terminator: Genisys” – Arnold will be back. Schwarzenegger will reprise his famous role as a ‘T-800’ in the upcoming “Terminator” series reboot, except now his biological exterior will have aged. Next Summer the first “Genisys” film hits cinemas July 1st, planned as the first in a series of 3 stand-alone movies. Alongside Arnold, new characters will be added.
• “23 Jump Street” – Work’s already begun on a 3rd instalment of the Channing Tatum-Jonah Hill comedy franchise. Why? The 1st film (2012) grossed about $200 million worldwide; the sequel “22 Jump Street” (2014) almost $320 million. The credits at its conclusion listed upcoming sequels all the way to “43 Jump Street: Mariachi School”. They weren’t kidding?

No more keys! The ‘Noke’ padlock from Utah-based Fuz Designs claims to be the first to allow users to open a lock without keys, instead using an iOS or Android app to connect via Bluetooth. To work the ‘Noke’ lock, users simply press the shackle with their phone in proximity. ‘Noke’ wakes up and searches for the phone and, if it is within a few feet, ‘Noke’ instantly unlocks. Users don’t even have to remove their smartphones from their pockets. The device also allows people to share a bike – or whatever the padlock is protecting. The gizmo is now accepting pre-orders at $59 for a release date in February. (Still seems vulnerable to that old padlock kryptonite … the common hacksaw.)

Children as young as 2 are learning to use smartphones and tablets before tackling vital life skills. In fact, a third of 2- to 4-year-olds now own a tablet and spend an average of 2 hours, 35 minutes per day on it. 10% regularly use a smartphone. A new survey of 2,000 parents asks which activities their children (2-10) can handle confidently. Some highlights …
• 60% can ride a bike.
• 59% can use a computer tablet.
• 57% can work a mobile phone.
• 53% can tie their own shoelaces.
• 52% can swim.
• 49% can tell the time.
The majority of young children also say they are more confident using a cellphone than reading. (Get the handcart ready.)

Tips from experts on how to preserve your voice …
• Hum to keep your voice sounding younger. Humming or singing a couple of times a day helps keep the muscles in shape.
• Get some physical exercise. Excessive weight can narrow the air passage around the windpipe, so it can change the quality of the sound, making it a bit more strained.
• If you have a habitually croaky voice, examine your diet. Spicy foods, white wine, and fizzy drinks raise the risk of acid reflux, whereby stomach acid splashes up the gullet, which can inflame vocal cords.
• Too much tea or coffee can also affect the voice, because caffeine has a diuretic, drying effect.
• Smoking is disastrous for the voice. It causes vocal cords to swell, resulting in a deeper sound, but it also irritates the throat, causing it to become dry.
• Don’t try to clear your throat. You may think you’re getting rid of mucus, but it causes the vocal cords to bang together quite hard, irritating them and making them swell.
• Strained voice is a sign of stress. If muscles in the throat and neck are tense, it can be heard in a very tight and strained-sounding voice.
• Some medications can have side-effects on the voice. Blood pressure pills and  anti-histamines can have a drying effect, which can result in a crackly voice.
• Use of steroids – in an asthma inhaler, for example – can thin and weaken voice muscles, leading to a weak, breathy voice. Gargling after using the an can help cleanse the vocal cords.
If all else fails, some surgeons now perform procedures known as ‘voice lifts’, injecting weak vocal cords with filler material to plump them up. (Not recommended … keeping a bottle of vodka in the freezer as an early morning lubricant.)
– “Daily Mail”

Here’s another reason you really do need to wash your hands at work. A new University of Arizona study finds that infections can spread – from an office door handle, for instance – to 60% of the workforce in just 2 hours. Pushing buttons in elevators and touching phones spread infection quickest. Most people think it’s coughing and sneezing that spread germs, but the number of objects that are infected by touch can be worse. Researchers say their results show that viral contamination in closed facilities occurs quickly, and that a simple intervention with anti-bacterial wipes can greatly help to reduce exposure to viruses. But, as you’ve heard many times, regularly washing hands is still the best way to kill germs. (Do you feel incredibly dirty all of a sudden?)

• The horsefly ‘Scaptia Beyoncéae’ is so named due to its ‘bootylicious abdomen’.
• Science students who wear white lab coats perform better in tests.
• Speed dating was the brainchild of a rabbi.
– “Quite Interesting”


1965 [49] Moby (Richard Melville Hall), NYC, techno musician-producer (“Disco Lies”, “Move”)

1967 [47] Harry Connick Jr, New Orleans LA, TV personality (“American Idol” since 2013)/singer-composer (“Every Man Should Know”)/movie actor (“Dolphin Tale 2”, opening Friday)

1977 [37] Jonny Buckland, London UK, rock guitarist (Coldplay-“Paradise”, “Viva La Vida”)

1977 [37] Ludacris (Christopher Bridges), Champaign IL, rapper (f/Pharrell-“Money Maker”, f/Shawnna-“Stand Up”)/movie actor (“Fast & Furious 6”, “Crash”)

1981 [33] Charles Kelley, Augusta GA, country singer (Lady Antebellum-“Bartender”, “Need You Now”)

• “Emergency Number Day”, saluting the direct-dial 9-1-1 emergency system. (In the UK it’s 9-9-9; in Australia 0-0-0, in New Zealand 1-1-1, in much of Europe 1-1-2.)

• “9/11 Remembrance Day”. 13 years ago at 8:46 am EDT, terrorists began the attack on NYC’s World Trade Center using hijacked commercial airliners. The Pentagon in Arlington VA was subsequently targeted. Currently, over 30,000 9/11 responders and survivors are still receiving medical treatment related to toxins released during the World Trade Center disaster.

• “No News is Good News Day”, whose proponents claim if you don’t listen, read, or watch any news for the day, you’ll feel better. (An observance of the ‘Head-In-the-Sand Association’.)

• “Tricky Handshake Day”. Remember they only count if you spit on your hand first!

1974 [40] “Little House On the Prairie” premieres on NBC-TV

2002 [12] Soul singer James Brown’s daughters Deanna & Yamma sue their dad for royalties from songs they allegedly helped co-write, including the 1976 hit “Get Up Offa That Thing”, which they would have assisted him with when they were … 3 and 6 respectively

1999 [15] 17-year-old emerging tennis phenom Serena Williams wins her 1st US Open women’s title and 1st Grand Slam singles’ tournament, beating top-seeded Martina Hingis

[Fri] “Dolphin Tale 2”; “No Good Deed” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Banana Day
[Fri] Chocolate Milkshake Day
[Fri] International Day for South-South Cooperation
[Sat] Farm Aid 2014 (Raleigh NC)
[Sat] Farmers Consumer Awareness Day
[Sat] Iguana Awareness Day
[Sun] Pet Memorial Day
This Week Is … Emergency Preparedness Week
This Month Is … Impotence Month


• If you plant wildflowers in your yard, are they technically still ‘wild’ flowers?
• You ever notice that the word ‘engaged’ has the word ‘gag’ in the middle of it?
• Practice makes perfect. But if nobody’s perfect, why practice?
• Do you ever get the feeling that your stuff has strutted without you?
• If time heals all wounds, how come the belly-button stays the same?

☎ Let’s say you have to take on a new identity. You’ll need to pick a new name. What pseudonym have you always wanted to adopt? (Not ‘Narcisco Yips’. That’s ours!)

Can you guess any of the world’s largest cities based on area? Here are the top 10, ranked by their landmass, including suburbs …
1. Hulunbuir, Inner Mongolia, China (approx 102,000 square miles)
2. Altamira, Pará, Brazil (62,000)
3. City of Kalgoorlie-Boulder, Western Australia, Australia (37,000)
4. Chongqing, China (32,000)
5. Regional Municipality of Wood Buffalo, Alberta, Canada (25,000)
6. City of Mount Isa, Queensland, Australia (18,000)
7. Leh, India (17,000)
8. Porto Velho, Rondonia, Brazil (13,000)
9. La Tuque, Québec, Canada (12,000)
10. Yakutat City & Borough, Alaska, USA (10,000)

I met a girl at a soccer game. I think she’s a keeper.

Question: If you’re average, you use about 54 feet (16.5 m) of THIS every year.
Answer: Dental floss.

37% of all statistics are made up.

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