Friday, September 12, 2014        Edition: #5304

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ Seems today’s the big day: George Clooney weds fiancée Amal Alamuddin in a civil ceremony in London UK before jetting off to Italy for a more lavish ceremony later this month. Clooney has revealed they will host the 2nd celebration in Venice instead of on his property in Lake Como as previously reported. Today’s private affair will be attended by both the bride’s & groom’s parents. The Venice gala will also include other family members and friends.
– “Us Weekly”
★ Actress Edie Falco’s dark TV comedy “Nurse Jackie” (Showtime) will make its final rounds in 2015, wrapping up after the upcoming 7th season. Falco’s role as drug-addicted Emergency Room nurse has earned her an Emmy Award for ‘Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series’ and her co-star, Merritt Wever, has won a ‘Supporting Actress’ award.
★ And director JJ Abrams is reportedly using more traditional special effects in the upcoming “Star Wars: Episode VII” compared to the reliance on CGI in previous episodes. This explains why an amateur airplane pilot from the Airbourne Aviation Flying Club near where the film is currently shooting in England has spotted something quite amazing … the ‘Millennium Falcon’ and an ‘X-Wing Fighter’. Photographed from above, both appear to be full-scale. Take a peak here …

• Aftershock Festival (Sacramento CA) – Saturday-Sunday the lineup includes Awolnation, Five Finger Death Punch, Godsmack, Rise Against, Rob Zombie, Weezer and more,
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Harry Connick Jr (“Dolphin Tale 2”).
• Farm Aid 2014 (Raleigh NC) – Saturday the annual farm benefit festival features Farm Aid board members Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, Neil Young, and Dave Matthews as usual; plus Carlene Carter, Jack White, Jamey Johnson, Preservation Hall Jazz Band and others.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Hunter Hayes (“Storyline”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Midlake (“Bamnan & Slivercork”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Counting Crows (“Somewhere Under Wonderland”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Maddie & Tae (“Girl In a Country Song”).
• Riot Fest (Chicago IL) – Tonight the 3-day touring rock fest touches down in Humboldt Park with The Cure, Flaming Lips, Jane’s Addiction, The National, Slayer, Weezer, Wu-Tang Clan and others on the weekend schedule.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Lil Jon (“Crunkest Hits”). Rerun.

• Amy Winehouse – Sunday, which would have been the late Brit singer’s 31st birthday, a life-size brass sculpture featuring her distinctive beehive hairdo is unveiled in Camden, near her last home. Designed by London artist Scott Eaton, it stands at the center of Stables Market.
• Ariana Grande – She’ll make her musical-guest debut on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” on the 40th season premiere September 27th. Chris Pratt (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”) hosts.
• Beyoncé & Jay Z – HBO is filming the last dates of their current tour in Paris, France this Saturday & Sunday for a future concert special. As yet, there’s no air date for the “On the Run Concert Special”.
• Demi Lovato – 17-year-old singer, songwriter, and rapper Becky G is joining the “Demi World Tour” starting Sunday at American Airlines Arena in Miami FL. Miss G is currently in the studio finishing her debut album.
• Enrique Iglesias / Pitbull – Tonight their 24-city co-headlining tour kicks off in Newark NJ and runs through October 28th in Orlando FL. Colombian star J Balvin (“La Familia”) is also on the bill as support act.
• Maroon 5 – They’re atop the new Nielsen SoundScan sales chart with their 5th album, “V”. It’s the 2nd #1 album of their career. Their last album, 2012’s “Overexposed”, debuted at #2.
• Meghan Trainor – She’s regained the #1 ‘Digital Song’ spot, according to new “Billboard” rankings. “All About That Bass” has moved past Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Out”, now at #2.
• Unlocking the Truth – The 13-year-old metal trio from Brooklyn NY has been getting a lot of publicity for their young age after live gigs at Coachella and the Warped Tour. This weekend they play a headline show in LA on Saturday and Sacramento’s Aftershock Festival Sunday.
• U2 – Bono says the 11 new songs on “Songs of Innocence”, their 1st album in 5 years, reflect the band’s earliest influences from ’70s rock and punk to early ’80s electronica and soul. The worldwide physical release is October 13th.

• “Dolphin Tale 2” ( PG Family Drama ): The same team of people who saved ‘Winter’ the dolphin’s life in the original story are reassembled in the wake of her surrogate mother’s passing in order to find her a companion so she can remain at the Clearwater Marine Hospital. Stars Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Nathan Gamble, Harry Connick Jr.
• “No Good Deed” ( PG-13 Thriller ): After a suburban Atlanta GA mom offers to help out a charming but dangerous escaped convict who shows up at her door, she finds herself fighting for survival when he invades her home and terrorizes her family. Stars Taraji P Henson, Idris Elba, Leslie Bibb, Kate del Castillo.
• Opening in limited release: “Atlas Shrugged: Who Is John Galt?” (Sci-Fi Mystery); “Bird People” (Fantasy Romance); “The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby” (Drama); “The Drop” (Crime Drama); “The Green Prince” (Thriller); “Honeymoon” (Horror); “I Am Eleven” (Documentary); “My Old Lady” (Dramedy); “The Skeleton Twins” (Drama); and “Swearnet: The Movie” (Comedy).

• People’s favorite tunes – regardless of the musical genre – create strikingly similar brain activity and can enhance their creative ability, according to recent research from McGill University in Montréal QC. We already know that emotional connections to music can be strong, but exactly how favorite melodies influence brain patterns is an ongoing area of discovery. What is now known is that when people listen to music they enjoy it enhances a brain pattern called the Default Mode Network (DMN), associated with introspection, self-awareness, mind-wandering, and possibly imagination. (“Let’s see if we can activate your DMN with this track from …”)
– @SmithsonianMag
And here’s a BS compendium of other recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … the 1st male contraceptive injection could be available in 3 years. ‘Vasalgel’ is a polymer hydrogel that is injected into the tube that sperm pass through to reach the penis. Its US developers hope it will be available by 2017. (Wait … it’s injected where?)
• Scientists say … food is not addictive – but eating is. Scottish researchers have now found there is no such thing as being ‘addicted’ to sugar or fat in the way drug addicts are to heroin or cocaine. Gorging is psychological compulsion, they say. (Ahem. Are you really finishing that entire ice cream container?)
• Scientists say … cheapo discount sunglasses are just as good as high-priced designer eyewear. An investigation by a University of California at Berkeley eye specialist has found they are equal at blocking out harmful UV rays. (But somehow ‘Dollarama’ brand doesn’t have the same cachet as ‘Ray-Ban’.)
– Adapted from @Mailonline

✗ Burger King Japan is set to sell a … black cheeseburger. The ‘Kuro Burger’ – available in ‘Pearl’ and ‘Diamond’ versions – comes with a bamboo charcoal bun, beef patties containing black pepper, and an onion & garlic sauce made from – mmm! – squid ink. Oh, and a black piece of cheese, also colored by coal. See it here, but only with s slop bucket handy …
– “Daily News”
✗ Tennessee police have arrested a man on a drug charge after he ‘pocket-dialed’ 9-1-1 and dispatchers heard him talking about going to a drug dealer’s house. His location was traced and officers arrived at a restaurant where they found drug paraphernalia beneath the passenger seat of the caller’s car. Seems the suspect had no idea he accidentally called 9-1-1 until cops broke the news to him during questioning. (Criminals should never put 9-11 on speed dial.)
– “Orange News”
✗ Canadian scientists at the University of Waterloo have documented precisely how the spine moves during sex and found the popular belief that ‘spooning’ is the ‘one position that fits all’ is wrong, and now recommend that men with back ache should opt for … ‘doggy-style’. They also suggest ‘hip-hinging motion’ rather than ‘spinal thrusting’. (Oh to be a part of this study’s test group!)

Regular bed mattresses are draped over the side of modern hi-tech warships to slow down hostile grappling parties.
– Magazine Monitor


1952 [62] Neil Peart, Hamilton ON, rock drummer (Rush-“One Little Victory”, “Test for Echo”)

1967 [47] Louis CK (Szekely), Washington DC, stand-up comedian (“Word: Live at Carnegie Hall”)/TV actor (“Louie” since 2010)

1974 [40] Jennifer Nettles, Douglas GA, country singer (“That Girl”, Sugarland-“Stuck Like Glue”)

1977 [37] 2 Chainz (Tauheed Epps), College Park GA, rapper (w/Wiz Khalifa-“We Own It”, w/Drake-“No Lie”)

1981 [33] Jennifer Hudson, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Sex & the City: The Movie”, Oscar-“Dreamgirls”)/pop singer (“American Idol 3” finalist)

Metal rock singer-musician Dave Mustaine (Megadeth) is 53; TV personality Tavis Smiley (PBS) is 50; Rock drummer Steve Perkins (Jane’s Addiction) is 47; Fashion designer Stella McCartney is 43; Country musician Joe Don Rooney (Rascal Flatts) is 39; Pop singer Niall Horan (One Direction) is 21.

Movie actor Sam Neill (“The Piano”) is 67; Producer-director-actor Tyler Perry (“Madea” movies) is 45; TV actress Kimberly Williams-Paisley (Mrs Brad Paisley) is 43; TV actor Andrew Lincoln (“The Walking Dead”) is 41; Rapper Nas (“Street Dreams”) is 41; TV actress Jessica Brown Findlay (“Downton Abbey”) is 27.

• “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. The original recipe, which appeared in a British newspaper in 1885, called for a shot of whiskey.
• “International Videogames Day”, a day for those love them to celebrate.

• “Celiac Disease Awareness Day”, an annual shot of support for those suffering from the malady that causes gluten intolerance. These are people who truly need to observe a gluten-free diet to remain healthy. Anyone else going gluten-free is paying a lot of money for nada.
• “Fortune Cookie Day”, celebrating the tasty little treats with a slip of paper inside that brings good luck, a whimsical saying, or a philosophical thought. It’s thought they were likely invented in San Francisco, California around 1914. (See Bull’s Bits below)
• “Iguana Awareness Day”, an annual observance on the 2nd Saturday of September celebrating the pets that are ‘hard to care for … easy to love’. Yeah, nice lizard you have. Ick!
• “International Chocolate Day”, celebrating ‘the greatest substance known to humanity’. It’s a day for indulgence that should be free of guilt (until you get on the scales tomorrow morning).
• “International Drive Your Studebaker Day”, honoring the vintage vehicle that was stylistically ahead of it’s time. First manufactured in South Bend, Indiana in 1902, the last Studebaker rolled off the Hamilton, Ontario assembly line in 1966.
• “Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day”, with the objective of empowering children & teens to become more actively involved in the planning, preparation, and cooking of meals. (To that end, we suggest it should also be ‘Kids Clean Up the Kitchen Day’).
• “National Hollerin’ Contest”, the 46th annual on the 2nd Saturday in September in Spivey’s Corner NC, part of the “Hollerin’ Heritage Festival”. Hollerin’ was the original form of communication in them thar’ hills.
• “World Hearing Voices Day”, celebrating 27 years of the Hearing Voices Movement for those who receive advice, encouragement, and even laughter from others … who aren’t really there.

• “Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops? The most popular cream-filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream.
• “Hug Your Hound Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Sunday of September to encourage awareness of the need for both human-friendly and dog-friendly use of urban spaces.
• “Pet Memorial Day”, sponsored by the International Association of Pet Cemeteries on the 2nd Sunday of September to remember departed dogs or perished parakeets and ponder their importance to the family.

2005 [09] ‘Hong Kong Disneyland’ opens on Lantau Island, Hong Kong

2003 [11] Country music icon Johnny Cash dies in Nashville TN at age 71 of heart failure

2007 [07] Led Zeppelin announces what will likely to be their last gig together, a performance at London’s O2 Arena to honor Atlantic Records co-founder Ahmet Ertegun

2011 [03] NYC’s ‘9/11 Memorial Museum’ 1st opens to the public

1983 [31] Albert Rizzo of Malta sets ‘World Treading Water Record’ at 108 hours, 9 minutes in
the ocean (that’s 4.5 days!)

[Mon] “The View” season debut (ABC)
[Mon] 8-Track Tape Day
[Mon] Greenpeace Day
[Tues] International Day For the Preservation Of the Ozone Layer
[Tues] Guacamole Day
[Tues] Stepfamily Day
This Week Is … Line Dance Week
This Month Is … Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Month


• “Sorry, what you just ate was NOT chicken.”
• “Embrace mediocrity. It suits you.”
• “Your pets have never liked you.”
• “Ewww! You’ve got something in your teeth.”
• “Last night, she was faking.”
• “Who dressed you anyway?”
• “You have many unique talents, none of which are marketable.”
• “Have you put on weight?”
• “You are sitting on chewing gum. It’s still warm.”
• “Nice booger, loser.”

I don’t mind coming to work, but this 8-hour wait to go home is just bullshit!

☎ If someone was making a movie about your life, who would play your parents?

Question: The #1 pet peeve at the gym is people taking selfies. And THIS is #2.
Answer: Naked talkers in the locker room.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

Printer Friendly Version