Tuesday, September 12, 2017        Edition: #6053

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ Big Brother: Celebrity Edition is finally coming to North American television.  CBS has announced that the show, featuring a group of C-list celebrities living together under one roof and generally hating on each other, will make its American debut this winter.  Viewers in the UK have been tuning into the celeb version of Big Brother for 20 seasons. No word yet on the cast for the American version.
★ Russell Brand is having a two-metre high fence built around his home. Brand, who welcomed his first child Mabel with his girlfriend Laura Gallacher into the world in November 2016, has decided to step up the security of his home in Henley-on-Thames, UK, to keep prying eyes away from his private life.
★ Helen Mirren hopes to return for the next ‘Fast & Furious’ movie, but the legendary actress has one stipulation. Mirren says; “I’d love to come back. But, guys, I want to drive next time”. Mirren, who appeared in this year’s ‘The Fate of the Furious’ as Magdalene Shaw, the matriarch of the villainous Shaw clan, was speaking at the Toronto International Film Festival.
★ Margot Robbie says she ”forgot” she wasn’t Tonya Harding and punched her co-star in the head. When asked to name her favorite moment during the shooting of ‘I, Tonya’, a film about the disgraced figure skater, Robbie explained it was a fight scene that got so intense, director Craig Gillespie ultimately cut it from the finished film.  She immersed herself so deeply into the part, she got carried away while shooting the scene with Sebastian Stan, who plays her on-screen lover Jeff Gilooly.
★ Seth MacFarlane is known for his outrageous, dry and close-to-the-bone humour on shows such as ‘Family Guy’, Now, with a move into live-action, he’s created new comedy sci-fi series called ‘The Orville’, which is set three centuries in the future and follows a space-travelling crew aboard their ship. The ‘Star Trek’ style parody will debut on FOX later this year.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Michael Keaton, Van Jones, the Lone Below
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lawrence, Pedro Pascal, Patti Smith, Herb Alpert
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Daniel Craig, Tiffany Haddish, Blackberry Smoke ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Emma Roberts, Father John Misty, Elaine Bradley
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Mindy Kaling, Olivia Munn, Fifth Harmony
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Chris Hardwick, Bill Skarsgard, Parcels
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Maggie Gyllenhaal, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Maria Sharapova
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mindy Kaling, guest co-host Shemar Moore
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kirsten Dunst, Gabriel Macht, the newly-crowned Miss America
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Heidi Klum, Billie Lourd
• “Hand in Hand: A Benefit for Hurricane Relief” (ABC,CBS,NBC,FOX, HBO): The entertainment community comes together to raise funds and spirits, and help rebuild. Guests/performers include Beyoncé, George Clooney, Stephen Colbert, Ellen DeGeneres, Robert De Niro, Drake, Jimmy Fallon, Tom Hanks, Dwayne Johnson, Matthew McConaughey, Tim McGraw, Tyler Perry, Questlove, Adam Sandler, Gwen Stefani, George Strait, Barbra Streisand, Oprah Winfrey, and many more.

• Sinead O’Connor – the troubled singer appears on the season premiere of ‘Dr. Phil’ today.  She is expected to open up about her traumatic childhood.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl says he ”would not be walking” without the support of Sir Paul McCartney. Grohl suffered a broken leg after falling off stage in Sweden in 2015 and he says that not only has the Beatles legend always been a huge source of inspiration to him, but McCartney also arranged for him to have surgery to repair his damaged limb.
• Noel Gallagher – led the crowd in an emotional rendition of ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ at the ‘We Are Manchester’ benefit concert on Saturday. Gallagher headlined the reopening of Manchester Arena – which has been closed since the terrorist attack at an Ariana Grande concert in May.
• Rick Astley — has been honored with his own toilet in a Japanese bar. The bizarre musical tribute blares out Astley’s biggest hits, which he says is a ”whole different level of funk.”
• Puddle of Mudded – had to cancel their Saturday night concert because lead singer Wes Scantlin was in jail on gun charges.  BB Gun charges.  He allegedly tried to board a plane at LAX with a BB gun.  Bail?  A whopping $850,000.  It appears there were other charges as well.
• Janet Jackson – broke down and cried in front of her fans in Houston on Saturday.  During an otherwise happy and high-energy performance, Jackson paused while singing ‘What About’, stopped the song and cried for a brief moment.  She spoke the words “This is Me”.  The song is about domestic violence.
• James Blunt – is using his tour with Ed Sheeran ”as practice” for his own headline shows. The two are embarking on a three and a half month tour around North America, and Blunt has joked that he’ll be using the performances as a warm up to prepare him for his own tour of Europe in October.
• Luke Bryan – Blake Shelton and Sam Hunt are set to headline Bryan’s fourth annual ‘Crash My Playa’ event.  Hunt and Shelton will each headline one of the nightly concerts set for the all-inclusive concert vacation January 17-20 in Riviera Maya, Mexico.
• Old Dominion – took the stage on Friday night just a few hours after the news of both Troy Gentry’s and Don Williams‘ deaths broke.  In tribute, the band played covers of Montgomery Gentry‘s ‘My Town’ and Williams’ ‘Tulsa Time’.

Get ‘em wherever you get your movies…
• “The Mummy” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  An ancient princess is awakened from her crypt beneath the desert, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension. (Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis)
• “Baby Driver” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  After being coerced into working for a crime boss, a young getaway driver finds himself taking part in a heist doomed to fail. (Ansel Elgort, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm)
• “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie” (PG, Animation/Comedy):  Two overly imaginative pranksters named George and Harold hypnotize their principal into thinking he’s a ridiculously enthusiastic, incredibly dimwitted superhero named Captain Underpants. (Kevin Hart, Thomas Middleditch, Ed Helms)
• “It Comes at Night” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror):  Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son. Then a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge. (Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo)
• “Clowntergeist” (Not Rated, Horror):  A college student with a crippling fear of clowns must come face to face with her worst fear when an evil spirit in the body of a clown is summoned, terrorizing the town she calls home. (Brittany Belland, Monica Baker, Aaron Mirtes)

So you had a fight with your partner.  Now what?  Do you not speak for days before finally giving in and apologizing? Do you make your partner grovel and beg? Do you have hot make-up sex?  A new study called “Sex Differences in Reconciliation Behavior After Romantic Conflict” says that  when it comes to heterosexual couples, men and women want different things from their partners as part of the make-up process after a fight.  It seems as part of the relationship healing process, women prefer heartfelt apologies and quality time, while men would rather receive a “kind gesture” — preferably the sexual kind (surprise, surprise).  Yup.  The leader of the study, conducted by Bucknell University in Pennsylvania, says that “Women may thereby use sexual favors as a way to reconcile with their male partner.  Doing so may communicate to their male partner that they are still sexually accessible and, as such, do not want to end the relationship”.  For women, sex wasn’t high on their list of must-haves for a reconciliation — according to the study, to mend a rift, women prefer it when their partner spends time with them after a fight and apologizes.
(Sounds about right!)
(And flowers.  Never Forget the flowers.)
(And in related news, Captain Obvious has just been promoted to Major!)

One thing is for sure: Money definitely has a way of disappearing from our bank accounts.  If you don’t track your expenses with a detailed budget plan, then like me, you are probably sometimes left wondering “Where the heck did all my money go?”  According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics’ recently released Consumer Expenditure Survey data for 2016, the average household  blew $57,311 last year.  Most of that spending — 61.3 percent — went toward three major expenses: food, housing and transportation.  But these days, we are spending so much money dining out that experts are warning that we should keep in mind that every dollar you spend on ‘luxury’ items is another dollar you didn’t invest in a retirement account. So, that leisurely evening spent tasting appetizers and hanging around for yet another glass of wine at the end of the meal, is actually gradually pushing back your retirement.  In 2016, 78% ($3154) of what the average household spent on food went to ‘food away from home’.   Experts say that if you can’t bear the thought of cutting back your frequency of eating out, try money-saving strategies like eating an appetizer at home, then splitting an entree at the restaurant.
(How do you split a buffet?)
(Great.  Just like college.  Pre-drinking!)
(So what you’re saying is that I’d better cut back on dining out so I can retire early and enjoy myself…by dining out?)

For the longest time, experts warned us that coffee might cause cancer.  Science has debunked that idea, but could the exact opposite be true?  In a new study of 7,000 men, those who drank three cups of strong coffee per day (espresso, cappuccino or macchiato) without any syrups or added sugars – were 53% less likely to develop prostate cancer.  These Italian-style brews are more concentrated with caffeine and antioxidants than your standard drip, and researchers found these compounds in the coffee prevent the growth of prostate cancer cells.  Italy has one of the lowest prostate cancer rates in Europe.  Coincidence?  Other recent studies have linked coffee to longer life spans, sharper brains and reduced risk of heart disease.
(Coffee is also linked to reduced risk of death to my co-workers!)
(Finally!  Something I like that is also good for me!)
(I guess that $6 cappuccino is worth it now, huh?)


1952 [65] Neil Peart, Hamilton ON, now-retired rock drummer (Rush-“Closer to the Heart”, “Tom Sawyer”)

1967 [50] Louis CK (Szekely), Washington DC, stand-up comedian, actor, writer (“Word: Live at Carnegie Hall”)/TV actor (“Louie” 2010-2015)

1974 [43] Jennifer Nettles, Douglas GA, country singer (“That Girl”, Sugarland-“Stuck Like Glue”)

1977 [40] 2 Chainz (Tauheed Epps), College Park GA, rapper (w/Wiz Khalifa-“We Own It”, w/Drake-“No Lie”)

1981 [36] Jennifer Hudson, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Sex & the City: The Movie”, Oscar-“Dreamgirls”)/pop singer (“American Idol 3″ finalist)

• “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. The original recipe, which appeared in a British newspaper in 1885, called for a shot of whiskey.

• “National Video Games Day”, one of the fastest growing entertainment industries in the world, surpassing movies and music in annual revenue. This year, the industry is expected to bring in more than $100 billion in revenue.

• “Police Woman Day”,  The first police woman may have been Marie Owens, hired by the Chicago Police Department in 1891.

• “Report Medicare Fraud Day”, of course, you can, and should, report Medicare fraud any day of the year.

• “National Day of Encouragement”, dedicated to uplifting people around us and making a positive impact. Today, do something to offer encouragement to those around you, whether it is someone at work or in your personal life.  (You are strongly encouraged to do so)

[Wed] Bald is Beautiful Day
[Wed] International Chocolate Day
[Wed] Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day
[Thurs] Coloring Day
[Thurs] Eat a Hoagie Day
[Thurs] Cream Filled Donut Day

2005 [12] ‘Hong Kong Disneyland’ opens on Lantau Island, Hong Kong

2003 [14] Country music icon Johnny Cash dies in Nashville TN at age 71 of heart failure

2007 [10] Led Zeppelin announces what will likely to be their last gig together, a performance at London’s O2 Arena to honor Atlantic Records co-founder Ahmet Ertegun

2011 [06] NYC’s ‘9/11 Memorial Museum’ first opens to the public

1983 [34] Albert Rizzo of Malta sets ‘World Treading Water Record’ at 108 hours, 9 minutes in
the ocean (that’s 4.5 days!)


✓ Traffic lights were used before the advent of the motor vehicle.
✓ Air-filled tires were used on bicycles before they were used on cars.
✓ When the car radio was introduced, some states wanted to ban it, arguing that it could distract drivers and cause accidents.
✓ One hour before Alexander Graham Bell registered his patent for the telephone in 1876, Elisha Gray patented his design. After years of litigation, the patent went to Bell.
✓ The first fax process was patented in 1843.
✓ The first electronic mail, or “email”, was sent in 1972 by Ray Tomlinson. It was also his idea to use the @ sign to separate the name of the user from the name of the computer.

$ “We always get the same breed of dog” rich
$ “My wife is a lawyer-who-doesn’t-practice” rich
$ “Our summer home has a name” rich
$ “All of the family cars are interchangeable” rich
$ “My kids have to argue very hard to quit fencing” rich
$ “Significant others of only a few months are invited on vacation” rich
$ “The au pair sticks around after all of the kids have left for college” rich
$ “I self-publish a mediocre novel in my retirement” rich

• “Sorry, what you just ate was NOT chicken.”
• “Embrace mediocrity. It suits you.”
• “Your pets have never liked you.”
• “Ewww! You’ve got something in your teeth.”
• “Last night, she was faking.”
• “Who dressed you anyway?”
• “You have many unique talents, none of which are marketable.”
• “Have you put on weight?”
• “You are sitting on chewing gum. It’s still warm.”
• “Nice booger, loser.”
-First published in BS in 2014

As a scarecrow, people say I am outstanding in the field, but hay, it’s in my jeans!

☎ If someone was making a movie about your life, who would play your parents?

Question:  On average, we do this three times a day. What is it?
Answer: Tie shoes

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

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