Wednesday, September 13, 2017        Edition: #6054

The BS Press!

★ Tom Cruise is said to have felt betrayed and angry upon learning that Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx are dating. And Holmes’ response to Cruise?  She doesn’t care.  Now that Foxx and Holmes have gone public, a source close to Cruise has come forward to say that he is disappointed that the mother of his child has decided to date the actor and R&B singer, a man he once considered a close friend.
(‘Bro code’ or not, it’s been 5 years, man!)
★ Angelina Jolie has revealed that she only got into acting because it’s something her mother Marcheline wanted. Jolie says that she never really thought she could be anything else and never really questioned it.  She points out that she hasn’t done much acting since her mother died, but now she does it for her kids.  As she puts it, “It is fun! Who doesn’t love to get silly?”
★ Jennifer Lawrence told her future boyfriend, that he has ”severe psychological problems” after reading his script for ‘mother!’ for the first time.  Lawrence, who has now been dating  48-year-old writer/director Darren Aronofsky for a year – was instantly on board when approached to work him on his horror thriller ‘mother!’, but she admits the dark script left her questioning his sanity.  Lawrence does point, however, that she also feels it is a ‘masterpiece’.
★ Joseph Gordon-Levitt will voice an alien in ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’.  Director Rian Johnson was quoted as saying that his “great friend” will be appearing as a voice actor in the film. Levitt and Johnson have worked together on three previous movies, including ‘Looper’.  This news comes after John Boyega confirmed Princes William and Harry, and Tom Hardy have recorded cameos for the movie.
(Voicing an alien?  ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.’  EVERYONE in Star Wars is an alien!)
★ Oscar-winning filmmaker James Cameron will receive the Prince Rainier III Award from the Princess Grace Foundation-USA on Oct. 25 in Beverly Hills. The Award recognizes renowned leaders in the arts whose achievements are coupled with demonstrated service to their communities. Cameron, who has directed the two highest-grossing films of all time (‘Titanic’ and ‘Avatar’) while winning three Academy Awards, is being honored for his “outstanding contributions to the arts” and “exemplary give-back.”
★ Mike Myers is in talks to star in Queen biopic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. The 54-year-old Canadian actor-and comedian is reportedly being eyed up for a role in the upcoming biopic, but the character he will play has not been revealed. If Myers accepts the role he will join an impressive cast including Rami Malek, who will play the late great frontman Freddie Mercury.
(Well, he DOES have relevant experience headbanging to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’…in a Pacer!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sean Spicer
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julianne Moore, Shawn Mendes, Maren Morris
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Charlie Rose, Jessica Williams ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jeffrey Tambor, Walton Goggins, Action Bronson, Elaine Bradley
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michael Keaton, Dylan O’Brien, Superfruit
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jackie Chan, Tig Notaro, Gov’t Mule
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Reese Witherspoon, Candice Bergen
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hillary Rodham Clinton
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jackie Chan, guest co-host Eric Christian Olsen
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Julianne Moore, Alan Cumming
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Alec Baldwin, Tig Notaro, Luis Fonsi
• “Big Brother” (CBS): House guests vie for the power of veto.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Semi Finals Results 2” Performers advance to the finals.

• Taylor Swift – Joesph Kahn, the director of her ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ video, was recently criticized for copying the look of Beyonce’s videos for ‘Formation’ and ‘Hold Up’.  He has defended himself, saying that Bey actually nabbed the look of ‘Formation’ from Swift’s ‘Bad Blood.’
• Selena Gomez – is one of several women to grace separate Time Magazine covers this week as the magazine salutes women who scored ‘firsts’ in various areas of public life.  Why Selena?  She is the first woman to achieve 100 million followers on Instagram.
• Eric Clapton – says it’s hard to watch himself as a pompous young man in the new documentary ‘Eric Clapton: Life in 12 Bars.’ At a Toronto International Film Festival press conference he said that it’s only now that he’s older that he realizes he knows “nothing at all.”
• Foo Fighters – are opening a pub in east London. ‘The Foo Fighters Arms’ will be functional from Friday through September 20 to coincide with the release of their new album ‘Concrete and Gold’. Merchandise and limited edition items will be available, plus the band’s very own beer.
• Van Halen – Gene Simmons is reportedly preparing to release three long-lost Kiss demo tracks featuring Van Halen brothers Eddie and Alex as part of his solo box set ‘The Vault’.  Simmons, who originally discovered the band, invited the Van Halens to participate in the recording of a Kiss demo in 1976.
• Kid Rock – As his possible run for the Senate gains steam, he’s come under fire in his native Detroit for previous actions that have been perceived as being insensitive to the African-American community, such as the use of a Confederate flag in his stage show.  He’s responded to the criticism by firing a few shots of his own at the accusers.
• The Chainsmokers – have been slammed online for an inappropriate joke about China. Alex Pall and Drew Taggart shared a video of their visit, which included an interview where Pall makes a joke about being unwilling to bring his dog to China. The video has since been deleted from their social media accounts.
• Dustin Lynch – says he has expanded his sound for his third album, ‘Current Mood’, which hit stores last Friday.  The disc contains a blend of genres including country, pop, R&B and even EDM.  He admits he is nervous about it’s reception, but wants fans to hear a side of him they haven’t heard before.
• Troy Gentry – A celebration of life will take place tomorrow. Fans are invited to attend or watch via an online stream. Gentry’s celebration of life service will be held at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville beginning at 11AM.  A private interment, for family only, will follow the ceremony.

Because of Florida’s famous love for guns, and the whimsical Facebook post of a 22-year-old,  a sheriff felt it necessary to clarify things: Residents should not shoot at Hurricane Irma.  The idea started as a joke on Facebook, when a bored Ryon Edwards started a Facebook Event page suggesting that people fire their guns into Irma and stop her in her tracks.  The page quickly went viral, with more than 54,000 people marking themselves as ‘interested’ in the event.  Given the large number of legal gun owners in Florida, the Pasco sheriff decided it was necessary to clarify things, Tweeting, “To clarify, DO NOT shoot weapons @ #Irma,” as the storm made landfall.  A subsequent Tweet explained that “You won’t make it turn around & it will have very dangerous side effects”.   The advice was noted by the media, appearing on TV news channel tickers and receiving coverage from the BBC.  Edwards himself acknowledged that things had gotten out of hand.  He posted that, “I’ve learned that about 50% of the world could not understand sarcasm to save their lives.”
(Bored?  There’s a stinkin’ hurricane coming, and this guy’s bored?)
(What a rube.  Everyone knows that you are supposed to shoot TORNADOES, not hurricanes!)

Facebook is testing a new feature.  One that might feel just a little bit creepy.  Or a bit like a dating app.  Users are reporting receiving notifications from friends indicating that they would be interested in ‘hanging out’ on the weekend.  People who receive the notifications have the option of indicating ‘no, thanks’ and apparently that is the end of it and everything stays private.  If you click ‘yes, please’, that’s when it can get interesting (or weird) and you are instantly connected.  Testing is being done in Canada as we speak.
(I wouldn’t want to hang out with anyone who would want to hang out with someone like me…)
(This is like Facebook Messenger on steroids!)
(Is it just me, or is this a bit ‘Tinder-y’?)

Up until now, there were really only three types of chocolate: dark, milk, and white.  Now, mind blown!   Zurich-based Barry Callebaut, the world’s largest based cocoa processor, has come up with another.  Introducing…PINK CHOCOLATE!  Natural pink chocolate, I might add.  The company has apparently spent the last 13 years trying to produce this stuff out of ruby cocoa beans.  This cocoa variety grows in different parts of the world, including Ecuador, Brazil, and the Ivory Coast, but the Swiss company is the first to actually convert it into pink chocolate, through a sophisticated process.  Apparently pink chocolate has a faint, naturally occurring taste that “is not bitter, milky, or sweet, but a tension between berry-fruitness and luscious smoothness,” according to their press release.  No word on when it will hit stores.
(***See Today’s BS Reasons to Party***)
(Great idea.  Except it looks like SPAM!)
(I’m of the mind that chocolate attained perfection with milk chocolate, and there is no need to take it any further.)
(When I taste it, Be ready for a colorful reaction.  You can take that any way you like!)

Over the next five years, The World Economic Forum estimates automation will cost 5.1 million people their jobs. That’s a lot of people out of work, but it really depends on what you do. Here are the jobs at the highest risk for extinction:
☹ Fast food cooks (and with them, hair-net manufacturers!)
☹ Accountants (but if the bean-counters go, who will make the decision to can the rest of these guys?)
☹ Construction managers
☹ Auditors (thank God!)
☹ Truck drivers (and now who am I supposed to follow in a snowstorm?)
(Why, just once, can’t politicians make this list?)


1967 [50] Stephen Perkins, LA CA, alt-rock drummer (Jane’s Addiction-“Just Because”, “Been Caught Stealing”)

1969 [48] Tyler Perry, New Orleans LA, TV producer (“Madea” movie franchise) Dubbed highest paid man in entertainment by Forbes magazine in 2011.

1971 [46] Stella McCartney, London UK, fashion designer (Gucci, Chloe, CARE)/Paul & Linda McCartney’s daughter/PETA advocate

1975 [44] Joe Don Rooney, Baxter Springs KS, country guitarist (Rascal Flatts-“I Like the Sound of That”, “Bless the Broken Road”)

1977 [40] Fiona Apple, New York NY, rock singer ( “Sleep to Dream” and “Criminal”)

1993 [24] Niall Horan, Mullingar, Ireland, pop singer (“Slow Hands”, w/One Direction-“Best Song Ever”, “What Makes You Beautiful”)

1996 [21] Lili Reinhart, Cleveland OH, TV actress (“Betty Cooper” on “Riverdale” since 2017)

• “Fortune Cookie Day”, celebrating the tasty little treats with a slip of paper inside that brings you good luck, a whimsical saying, or a philosophical thought. It’s thought they were likely invented in San Francisco, California around 1914.

• “International Chocolate Day”, celebrating ‘the greatest substance known to humanity’. It’s a day for indulgence that should be free of guilt (until you get on the scales tomorrow morning).

• “Defy Superstition Day”, a day to stare down your superstitions. So walk under a ladder, break a mirror, let a black cat cross your path, open an umbrella indoors, and do all those other things that many think are bad luck. (Do two negatives make a positive?)

• “Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day”, with the objective of empowering children & teens to become more actively involved in the planning, preparation, and cooking of meals. (To that end, we suggest it should also be ‘Kids Clean Up the Kitchen Day’).

• “Bald is Beautiful Day”,  a day that we can stop hiding and finally start celebrating the thing that haunts many individuals all over the world. Today, being bald is beautiful. There will be no hats, crooked toupees, or cover ups of any sort. Let it shine!

• “Peanut Day”. Peanuts are not really nuts at all but legumes (edible seeds enclosed in pods). As a group, legumes provide the best source of concentrated protein in the plant kingdom.

• “Positive Thinking Day”.  It’s all about attitude … a positive attitude.  (And I’m positive this is never gonna fly…)

[Thurs] Eat a Hoagie Day
[Thurs] Coloring Day
[Thurs] Cream-Filled Donut Day
[Fri] Day
[Fri] Greenpeace Day
[Fri] Caregivers Day

1993 [24] “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” premieres on NBC-TV (and Max Weinberg, drummer with Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, begins his new job as bandleader)

1998 [19] At the Emmy Awards, “Frasier” is named ‘Best TV Comedy’ for a record 5th time (in-a-row)

1996 [21] Rapper Tupac Shakur dies at age 25 of gunshot wounds suffered in a Las Vegas drive-by shooting (makes more money after death than during life)

1997 [20] Elton John releases “Candle in the Wind 1997”, a tribute to Diana, Princess of Wales

1956 [61] IBM introduces the RAMAC 305, 1st commercial computer with a hard drive that uses magnetic disk storage, weighs over a ton

2004 [13] TV talk-show host Oprah Winfrey gives a brand-new Pontiac G-6 sedan, worth $28,500, to everyone in her studio audience … a total of 276 cars in all


✓ The harder you concentrate on falling asleep, the less likely you are to fall asleep.
✓  Women have twice as many pain receptors on their body than men. But a much higher pain tolerance.
✓ For every human on Earth there are 1.6 million ants.
✓ The total weight of all those ants is about the same as all the humans.
✓ There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach in the world.
✓ You can’t hum while holding your nose closed.

✗ Sells pants to thrift store for a buck. Forgets there was $20 in the pocket.
✗ Mother surprises him with a new pair of shoes. Crocs.
✗ Receives note from crush. Restraining Order.
✗ Plans his own birthday party. Isn’t invited.
✗ Gets hit by a car; looks up and sees a bright light. Another car.
✗ Finally gets picked to be on a team. Hunger Games.
✗ Gets dumped by Taylor. Doesn’t get a break-up song.
✗ Puts eyedrops in. Super Glue.
✗ Goes to Hooters. Male waiter.
✗ Texts ‘LMAO’.  Ass falls off.
– Adapted from

☎ Have you ever set two friends up on a date?  How did it go?

Just because nobody complains, it doesn’t mean that all parachutes are perfect.

Question: 78% of women say they do THIS regularly, but only 60% of men do it.
Answer: Use coupons

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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