BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Legendary record exec Clive Davis will provide a glimpse into the inner workings of the music biz in a new autobiography coming in February (get ready for the inside scoop on the likes of Bruce Springsteen, Janis Joplin, and Whitney Houston) . . . Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is said to enjoy breakfasting on scrambled eggs with SPAM (even first thing in the morning, she has no taste!) . . . Oscar-winning actor Dustin Hoffman, talk show host David Letterman, ballerina Natalia Makarova, bluesman Buddy Guy, and rock band Led Zeppelin will each be saluted at this year’s “Kennedy Center Honors” in Washington DC December 2nd (you know you’ve gone mainstream when …) . . . 46-year-old former world heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson says he next wants to ‘sing and dance in musicals’ (we’re all ears – er, maybe not) . . . ‘Professor X’, the Marvel comic book character who formed the superhero mutant team “The X-Men”, has been killed off in the latest issue of comic book “Avengers vs X-Men”(James McAvoy & Patrick Stewart are out of work) . . . This week actor Michael Madsen (“Kill Bill”) has been arrested (again) on suspicion of DUI, registering a blood alcohol level of .20 on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, California (he’s now in hospital with an undisclosed ailment) . . . 26-year-old actress Alison Pill (HBO’s “The Newsroom”) has accidentally tweeted a topless self-shot lying in bed, but to her credit quickly owned up to her digital boob-boo and deleted the pic with an apology about ‘tech issues’ (how unusual, an “I did it”!) . . . And according to CNN, Digital Domain Media Group, the special effects company that created the much-buzzed-about ‘Hologram Tupac’ for this year’s Coachella Festival, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy due to more than $200 million-worth of debt (well, so much for that short-lived fad).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Comic Con (Montréal QC) – Tonight the annual 3-day salute to comics and comic-inspired entertainment begins. Among the highlights: Poison Candy Latex unveils its new line of “Star Trek” latex cosplay clothing; guests of honor William Shatner and Patrick Stewart (“Star Trek”).
NET: http://www.montrealcomiccon.com/en/
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Justin Bieber (“Believe”); Phillip Phillips (“American Idol”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Everclear (“Invisible Stars”). Rerun.
• “Katie” (syndicated) – Today Jennifer Lopez (“Dance Again: The Hits”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Dr Dog (“Be the Void”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Grizzly Bear (“Shields”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Jason Aldean (“My Kinda Party”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – The 38th season kicks off with Seth MacFarlane (creator of “Family Guy”, “American Dad!”, “The Cleveland Show”) hosting; musical guest Frank Ocean (“Channel Orange”), accompanied by John Mayer.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Adam Levine (“The Voice”); Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“The Lion the Beast the Beat”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – Tonight the North American leg of her “Blown Away” tour starts in Manchester NH. It’s scheduled to  run through December 22nd in Sunrise FL.
• Christina Aguilera – She’s revealed via Twitter that her upcoming album will be titled “Lotus”. It’s slated for a November release.
• Coldplay – Their current tour gross has reached a hefty total of $99.7 million, making it #1 on the latest ranking of moneymaking tours… and it’s not over yet. They’re in Europe until late September, then play stadiums in New Zealand and Australia in November.
• Florence & The Machine – Tonight a new leg of North American touring gets underway in Mansfield MA. It runs through October 10th in Albuquerque NM.
• Led Zeppelin – As expected, the iconic rock band has announced the release of its 2007 “Celebration Day” reunion as a concert film (October 13), then in multiple video & audio formats (November 19). The 2-hour concert was the band’s first headlining show in 27 years.
• Matchbox Twenty – They’ve scored their first-ever #1 album on the sales chart this week with the debut of “North”, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• P!nk – Following her performance at the “MTV VMAs”, her single “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” has seen an 89% increase in digital sales and landed at #6 on the iTunes singles chart.
• Spice Girls – Performing at the Olympics and then shagging Russell Brand seems to have given Geri Halliwell’s career a boost. She’s signed for her first solo gig in 5 years. By the way, word has it she likes to sign fan photos with the caption “Thanks for last night, love Geri x”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Finding Nemo 3-D” ( G-Rated Animated Adventure 3-D Re-release ): After his son is captured in the Great Barrier Reef and taken to Sydney, a timid clownfish sets out on a journey to bring him home. Originally released in 2003. Voice cast includes Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe.
NET: http://disneydvd.disney.go.com/finding-nemo.html
• “Resident Evil: Retribution” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): In Paul WS Anderson’s 5th instalment to the franchise, ‘Alice’ fights alongside a resistance movement in the continuing battle against the ‘Umbrella Corporation’ and the undead. Stars Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Michelle Rodriguez. Shot in Toronto.
NET: http://www.residentevil-movie.com/site
• Opening in limited release: “Arbitrage”; “Liberal Arts”; “The Master”; “Snowman’s Land”; “Stolen”; and “10 Years”.

IMBIBING IDIOT BIAS:
Next time you wake up the morning after, there’s no need to wonder if you made an idiot of yourself the night before … you did. Apparently, just standing holding a drink changes for the worse your colleagues’ and bosses’ assumptions about your brain power. Researchers call this ‘imbibing idiot bias’. Although most people think they look more intelligent when ordering a glass of wine, the opposite is true, according to the results of 5 studies involving over 1,300 people. The data suggests that simply holding a glass of wine can reduce perceived intelligence. (Especially if you’re holding it with both hands … in a mug.)
– “The Independent”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
✗ Shenzen, China – The mother of identical quadruplet boys has so much trouble telling the 6-year-olds apart she’s … shaved the numbers 1-through-4 in their hair. She claims she could only tell the difference previously when they wore ankle tags as toddlers. The new hairdos are making it much easier for teachers and classmates to identify them. Even so, the father sometimes punishes #2 for something #3 has done.
– Orange.co.uk
✗ Miami Beach, Florida – So this guy walks into a bar and orders a drink, then tries to pay for it using a stolen credit card … the bartender’s stolen credit card. Seems the perp had lifted the card after breaking into the barman’s car, which was stowed in a nearby parking garage. The stunned barkeep immediately called cops.
– NYPost.com
✗ Calgary, Alberta – Cops have collared a suspect after a spree of … inappropriate foot touching. A 21-year-old has been targeting women aged 45-to-65 for the past 6 months by expressing interest in their pedicures. He then takes a closer look and touches – or licks – their toadies. The straight-faced lead detective in the case says “Matters of this complexity obviously involve a lot of foot work.”
– Canoe.ca

BS HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:
“Diet Made Eddie Van Halen’s Gut Explode!”
– “National Enquirer”

FOR THE RECORD:
Justin Epps of Evans, Georgia has led a team of young people in breaking the world record for … making 200 Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches. Total time taken: 2 minutes, 52 seconds.
– TTP

DID YOU KNOW?
• NYC bartenders have reportedly gotten together and agreed to pretend that there is a shortage of mint at present. Why? They’re sick of making Mojitos.
– PopBitch.com
• The number of voicemail messages being left is down 8% in the past year. Another result of the impact of texting.
– “USA Today”

BS CHRONOMETER 09.14.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [65] (Nigel) Sam Neill, Omagh, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Jurassic Park”, “The Piano”)/TV actor (“Crusoe” 2008-10, “The Tudors” 2007-08)

1969 [43] Tyler Perry, New Orleans LA, movie actor-director (“Why Did I Get Married?” films, “Madea” movies)/TV producer (“Meet the Browns”, “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne”)

1973 [39] Nas (Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones), Queens NY, rapper (“Got Ur Self A …”, “Street Dreams”)/married to recording artist Kelis 2005-09

1989 [23] Logan Henderson, Temple TX, TV actor (“Big Time Rush” since 2009)/boy-band pop singer (BTR-“Windows Down”, “Boyfriend”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor Tommy Lee Jones (“Hope Springs”) is 66; Movie director Oliver Stone (“Wall Street”) is 66; NFL analyst Dan Marino (“NFL Today on CBS”) is 51; Rock drummer Paul Thomson (Franz Ferdinand) is 36; Movie actor Tom Hardy (“Dark Knight Rises”) is 35; Pop-rock guitarist Zach Filkins (OneRepublic) is 34; British royal & billiards expert Prince Harry is 28.

SUNDAY –
Blues legend BB King (“Thrill is Gone”) is 87; Illusionist David Copperfield is 56; Movie actor Mickey Rourke (“The Wrestler”) is 56; Latin-pop singer Marc Anthony (“I Need to Know”) is 44; TV actress Amy Poehler (“Parks & Recreation”) is 41; TV-movie actress Alexis Bledel (“Mad Men”) is 31; Pop singer Nick Jonas (Jonas Bros) is 20.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops? The most popular cream-filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream.
• “Eat a Hoagie Day”, celebrating the super-sized sandwich also known as a sub, grinder, hero, Italian sandwich, po’ boy, wedge, zeppelin, or torpedo. What’s the best combo?
• “International Shellfish Festival” through Sunday in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, known as the ‘Biggest Kitchen Party in Atlantic Canada’.
NET: http://www.peishellfish.com
• “Pregnant Women’s Day”, set aside to honor all moms-to-be. What’s the most unusual pregnancy craving you’ve heard of?
• “US National Anthem Day”, celebrating the anniversary of Francis Scott Key penning lyrics to the “Star-Spangled Banner” in 1814. The Washington DC attorney adapted his words to the tune of popular drinking song “To Anacreon in Heaven”. It became the official anthem in 1931.
• “World Hearing Voices Day”, celebrating 25 years of the Hearing Voices Movement for those who receive advice, encouragement, and even laughter from others … who aren’t really there.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/8c8bxd5

SATURDAY –
• “Hispanic Heritage Month”, through October 15th. Felicitaciones, amigos!
• “Independence Day” in much of Central America, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua.
• “International Coastal Cleanup Day”, begun by the advocacy group Ocean Conservancy in 1986, it now involves the efforts of volunteers in some 127 countries on the 3rd Saturday in September in cleaning up trash in and around the world’s oceans.
NET: http://www.oceanconservancy.org
• “International Eat an Apple Day”, reminding us that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. In addition to being healthy, the apple is very versatile with many tasty varieties and recipes.
• “International Day of Democracy”, a UN observance since 2007 encouraging the freely-expressed will of people to determine their own political, economic, and social systems.
• “Responsible Dog Ownership Day”, encouraging owners to exercise their pooches, feed them healthy foods, and train them in social skills so they don’t annoy other people.

SUNDAY –
• “Collect Rocks Day”, an annual celebration of the hobby of gem & mineral collecting.
• “Independence Day” in Mexico (“El Grito de Independencia”), celebrating the declaration of independence from Spain in 1810. Fiesta!
• “International Day for Preservation Of the Ozone Layer”, as first declared by the UN in 1994.
• “Malaysia Day”, commemorating the establishment of the Malaysian Federation in 1963.
• “Rosh Hashanah” begins at sundown, the 2-day Jewish holiday commonly referred to as ‘Jewish New Year’. It’s the first of the so-called ‘High Holidays’.
• “Stepfamily Day”, celebrated annually on September 16th. It’s estimated 1-in-3 of us is in a stepfamily at some point. It’s now politically correct to refer to these as ‘blended’ families.
• “Wife Appreciation Day”. Don’t hesitate. Don’t question why. Just buy flowers. Do it!
• “Women’s Friendship Day”, observed on the 3rd Sunday in September for women to celebrate long-time friendships.
• “Working Parents Day”. Isn’t parenting work in itself?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [30] Hollywood star and real-life Princess of Monaco Grace Kelly dies in an auto accident near Monte Carlo at age 52

2009 [03] Movie actor Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”) dies in Los Angeles at age 57 after a long battle with cancer

2009 [03] The short-lived primetime “Jay Leno Show” premieres on NBC-TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [10] No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani weds Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale in London UK

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984 [28] Dan Aykroyd & Bette Midler host the 1st “MTV Video Music Awards” at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall (The Cars win ‘Best Video’ for “You Might Think”)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [25] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ as the Sunday “New York Times” features 1,612 pages and weighs in at a whopping 12 lbs/5.4 kg (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)

2003 [09] Brandi Carbee & Natalie Svenvold of Bellingham, Washington set a new world record with 75 continuous hours of ‘teeter-tottering’ (aka see-sawing)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC)
[Mon] Woman Road Warrior Day
[Tues] World Water Monitoring Day
[Tues] ADD Awareness Day
[Wed] Talk Like a Pirate Day
This Week Is … Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Coupon Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOUR DATE IS NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME:
✗ Doesn’t laugh when you give yourself ketchup sideburns.
✗ Lunges at you several times with a steak knife.
✗ Checks her cell and says, “Whoa, it’s 8:15 already!”
✗ Doesn’t even finish her Whopper.
✗ It’s been 4 hours since she left for the little girls’ room.
✗ As you drop her off, she says “Do me a favor … next time call a different escort service.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the most irritating sound you can think of? Some of our least faves: Someone sniffling a runny nose; yappy lap dogs; leafblowers; old-school car alarms that no one pays attention to; relentless snoring; a child whining; and – aghhhhh! – a dental drill.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’ve never seen a woman make a fool out of a man without a lot of cooperation.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When going out for an evening, men are 4 times more likely to do THIS than women.
Answer: Do the driving.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Judge people by what they are, not where they are.