Friday, September 15, 2017        Edition: #6056

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

★ Rebel Wilson has a ‘Pitch Perfect’ payday coming.  She has been awarded $3.66 million by an Australian judge in a defamation case against a magazine publisher that printed articles that she said cost her film roles in Hollywood. Wilson had sued Bauer Media, publisher of the Australian magazines ‘Woman’s Day’, ‘Australian Women’s Weekly’, ‘NW’ and ‘OK’,  after the magazines published reports in 2015 claiming she lied about her age, the origins of her first name, and her upbringing.
★ Scarlett Johansson and Romain Dauriac have finalized their divorce, just over a year after they separated following two years of marriage. According to court records submitted Tuesday in Manhattan, the duo also came to an agreement regarding the custody of their three-year-old daughter Rose Dorothy.  Meanwhile, Johansson has been enjoying a string of dates with ‘Saturday Night Live’ star Colin Jost.
★ Larry King has revealed he is recovering after secretly undergoing life-saving surgery for lung cancer. The legendary interviewer was diagnosed with the potentially life-threatening disease in July, and says he is lucky that doctors spotted it during one of his regular annual chest X-rays.
★ Harrison Ford has opened up about the moment he famously punched his ‘Blade Runner 2049′ co-star Ryan Gosling on set in December. He says that, Gosling’s job “was to be out of the range of the punch. My job was also to make sure that I pulled the punch”  75 year-old Ford told GQ magazine that the two were moving at the time, and the camera was moving, and with the angles they needed to work with, “Ryan Gosling’s face was where it should not have been.”
(I think Conor McGregor had the same problem recently!)
★ Julianne Hough will not be returning to ‘Dancing With The Stars’. The dancer has served as a judge on the popular celebrity dance competition since 2014 and has competed as a professional on the show five times, but she won’t be rejoining her cast mates for the upcoming 25th season, which kicks off on Monday.
★  Frank Vincent, the veteran actor known for his roles on “The Sopranos” and several Martin Scorsese films, died in a New Jersey hospital Wednesday.  Vincent apparently suffered a heart attack last week, and underwent open-heart surgery Wednesday but died during the procedure. Some of his most memorable roles include playing Billy Batts in ‘Goodfellas’ and Phil Leotardo — Tony’s nemesis — in “The Sopranos.”
★ Jean-Claude Van Damme’s son has been arrested for allegedly holding his roommate at knifepoint. Nicholas Francois Van Varenberg was picked up by police after things escalated when he was involved in a disturbance in his apartment building in Phoenix, Arizona, which saw him injure his hand after he punched the side of an elevator.
(He must have been holding the knife in the other hand?)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dr. Phil McGraw, Mike Tyson, Martin Urbano ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Benedict Cumberbatch, Savannah Guthrie, Andy Grammar featuring Lunchmoney Lewis
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anthony Scaramucci, Bob Odenkirk, Liam Gallagher ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, Gwendoline Christie, Gary Clark Jr. ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jeremy Renner, Aubrey Plaza, Chris O’Dowd, Russ ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): James Franco, Maggie Gyllenhaal
• “The Talk” (CBS): Stephen Colbert, guest co-host Chris O’Donnell
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeffrey Tambor, Julia Stiles
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Channing Tatum, Kyle MacLachlan
• “11th Annual ACM Honors” (CBS): Members of Lady Antebellum host an evening celebrating ACM Awards honorees in Nashville.  ACM Honors bill will also include performances by Kelsea Ballerini, Vince Gill, Toby Keith, Little Big Town, Maren Morris, Brad Paisley, Thomas Rhett, Hillary Scott, and George Strait.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Semi Finals 2” Semifinalists perform for the judges.
• “69th Primetime Emmy Awards” (CBS): Honoring excellence in television at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles; Stephen Colbert hosts.

• Zayn Malik – says he “never really spoke” to Harry Styles during their time together in One Direction.  In spite of the fact that Malik says he didn’t really expect that much of a relationship with him, he still remains open-minded about the possibility of a reunion.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – is taking her time picking the ”cream of the crop” from the songs she’s written for her new album. She says she doesn’t want to rush release her follow-up to 2015’s ‘Emotion’.  She is looking to come up with something different which shows “some kind of growth”.
• Pink – will release her first new LP in five years this fall. ‘Beautiful Trauma’ is due for release Oct. 13. She says the only goal was to “not have an album full of slow, sad songs”.
• Selena Gomez – has revealed that she underwent a kidney transplant this summer, and the donor was her best friend. Gomez posted a post-surgery picture of her and kidney donor Francia Raisa, saying, “I’m very aware some of my fans had noticed i was laying low for part of the summer and questioning why I wasn’t promoting my new music, which I was extremely proud of…So I found out I need to get a kidney transplant due to my Lupus and was recovering.”
• Gene Simmons – here are some details about ‘The Vault’, his upcoming solo box set:
$ It contains 150 unreleased solo songs featuring “notable rock ‘n’ roll artists including members of Kiss past and present.”
$ It will be “packaged in a massive 12″ x 12″ x 6″ leather-bound commemorative book featuring dozens of never-seen-before images of Simmons over his 50-year career”
$ It will only be sold online in special VIP packages.
$ Packages start at $2000.  Those who pony up for the $50,000 set can have Simmons personally deliver ‘The Vault’ right to their home, where Simmons will host a party for up to 25 friends for two hours.
(Sounds like the only one who can afford this thing will be Gene himself!)
• Joe Walsh – has announced a concert to coincide with the launch of his new ‘VetsAid’ foundation. Keith Urban and Zac Brown Band have signed on to perform at the first ever concert on Sept. 20 in Fairfax, Va. Walsh and Gary Clark Jr. will also perform.  Walsh created VetsAid to raise money for veterans and their families.
• Carrie Underwood – has a powerful new song, but fans will have to wait for Super Bowl 52 to hear it. Underwood, who sings the official theme song of Sunday Night Football, wrote the new track, “The Champion,” at the urging of the show’s executive producer, Fred Gaudelli.
• Troy Gentry – Authorities say the pilot of the helicopter in which he was killed on Friday reported mechanical problems moments before it crashed in New Jersey.  Radio communication  reveals that an emergency landing was in the works.  Seconds before the crash, the pilot was hovering in the air while waiting for the fire department to arrive.

• “American Assassin” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  Mitch Rapp is a CIA black ops recruit under the instruction of Cold War veteran Stan Hurley. The pair is enlisted to investigate a wave of apparently random attacks on both military and civilian targets intended to start a Third World War. (Dylan O’Brien, Michael Keaton, Sanaa Lathan)
• “Mother!” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror):  A couple’s relationship is tested when uninvited guests arrive at their home, disrupting their tranquil existence. (Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer)
• “Brad’s Status” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama):  A father takes his son to tour colleges on the East Coast and meets up with an old friend who makes him feel inferior about his life’s choices. (Ben Stiller, Austin Abrams, Jenna Fischer, Michael Sheen)
• “Rebel in the Rye” (PG-13, Drama/Biography):  The life of celebrated but reclusive author, J.D. Salinger, who gained worldwide fame with the publication of his novel, “The Catcher in the Rye”. (Sarah Paulson, Zoey Deutch, Nicholas Hoult, Kevin Spacey)
• “Vengeance: A Love Story” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure):  A gulf war veteran seeks vengeance against those who assaulted a single mother. (Nicolas Cage, Anna Hutchison, Talitha Eliana Bateman)
• “The Wilde Wedding” (R-Rated, Comedy/Romance):  A retired film star’s wedding to her fourth husband brings chaos when their families (and her ex-husband) show up for the festivities. (Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Patrick Stewart)

Just so you know, the ‘food labeling’ craze has officially become ridiculous.  Now available: bottled water that is not only labeled as ‘premium’, but also ‘gluten-free’, free of GMOs AND certified kosher and organic. By the way, not a single drop of water anywhere contains gluten or GMOs.
(Low-sodium too, I bet.)
(I didn’t catch the name.  There must not have been room on the label.
(That’s a busy label with all that on it.  But I bet there’s still room for a pretty hefty price tag!)

If you weren’t able to score your child a Hatchimal last holiday season (Whoops!  That should be if SANTA wasn’t able…), you’re about to get a second chance.  A newer version of the toy egg that hatches a host of magical creatures (and costs $69.99, $20 more than last year), is expected to be the most in-demand toy again this year, according to Walmart’s predictions of the top toy picks for 2017.  Here are the top-10:
1. Hatchimals Surprise (Coming soon, details to be released on Oct. 6)
2. Fingerlings
3. littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit
4. Num Noms Nail Polish Maker
5. FurReal Friends Roarin’ Tyler The Playful Tiger
6. Barbie DreamHorse and Doll
7. Fisher-Price Zoom ’n Crawl Monster
8.L.O.L. Surprise Fizz Factory
9. Soggy Doggy Board Game
10. Mayka Toy Block Tape



1946 [71] Oliver Stone, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter with 3 Academy Awards (“Platoon”, “Born On the Fourth of July”, “Midnight Express”)

1946 [71] Tommy Lee Jones, San Saba TX, movie actor (“No Country For Old Men”, Academy Award-“The Fugitive”)

1961 [56] Dan Marino, Pittsburgh PA, NFL analyst (“The NFL Today on CBS”)/legendary former NFL QB (Miami Dolphins)/9X Pro Bowl, Pro Football Hall of Fame (2005)

1976 [41] Paul Thomson, Glasgow, Scotland, rock drummer (Franz Ferdinand-“No You Girls”, “Take Me Out”)

1977 [40] Tom Hardy, London UK, movie actor (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Mad Max”) COMING UP…Venom, 2018

1978 [39] Zach Filkins, Colorado Springs CO, pop-rock guitarist (OneRepublic-“Counting Stars”, “Love Runs Out”)

1984 [33] Prince Harry (Henry Charles Albert David Windsor of Wales), London UK, Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s #2 son who’s  currently fifth in line to the throne after his father, his elder brother, and his nephew and niece, George and Charlotte.

1956 [61] Mickey Rourke, Schenectady NY, movie actor (“The Expendables”, “The Wrestler”) COMING UP…Unhinged, 2018

1968 [49] Marc Anthony (Marco Antonio Muniz), NYC, pop singer (“I Need to Know”)/Jennifer Lopez’ ex-husband (2004-14)

1971 [47] Amy Poehler, Burlington MA, TV comic (“Parks & Recreation” 2009-14, “Saturday Night Live” 2001-08)/movie actress (“Alvin & The Chipmunks” films, “Baby Mama”)

1979 [38] Flo Rida (Tramar Dillard), Carol City FL, rapper (“Whistle”, f/T-Pain-“Low”)

1981 [36] Alexis Bledel, Houston TX, movie actress (“Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants” movies)/TV actress (“Gilmore Girls” 2000-07)

1986 [31] Ian Harding, Heidelberg, Germany TV actor (‘Ezra Fitz’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-2016)

1992 [25] Nick Jonas, Dallas TX, pop singer (“Jealous”, Jonas Bros-“Burnin’ Up”)/TV actor (“Camp Rock” films)/younger sibling of Kevin & Joe Jonas

1962 [55] Baz Luhrmann, Sydney, Australia, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“The Great Gatsby”, “Moulin Rouge”)

1965 [52] Bryan Singer, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“Superman Returns”, “X-Men” movies)

1971 [46] Nate Berkus, Orange County CA, TV show host (“The Nate Berkus Show” 2010-2012)

1979 [38] Chuck Comeau, Montréal QC, punk-pop drummer (Simple Plan-“Untitled [How Could This Happen to Me?]”, “Welcome to My Life”)

1985 [32] Jon Walker, Chicago IL, pop-rock musician (Panic! at the Disco-“Nine In the Afternoon”, “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”)

• “Greenpeace Day”, honoring the 1971 founding of the now internationally renowned environmental organization. A group of 17 activists initially formed in Vancouver BC to protest offshore nuclear testing in Alaska.

• “International Day of Democracy”, a UN observance since 2007 encouraging the freely-expressed will of people to determine their own political, economic, social, and cultural systems.

• “Care Givers Day”, recognizing the selfless people who do the chores for the sick and elderly that the rest of us can’t be bothered with. How come one of the most important occupations is one of the poorest paying?

• “ Day”,  founded on September 4th 1997, however, it became a domain officially on this day 20 years ago. (Who says “”?)

• “Collect Rocks Day”, a celebration of the hobby of gem & mineral collecting.  (If you have young boys, you probably collect rocks…in the dryer!)

• “Guacamole Day”, honoring the avocado, tomato & onion treat that resembles baby poop.

• “Stepfamily Day, celebrated annually on September 16th.  It’s estimated that 1-in-3 of us is in a stepfamily at some point. It’s now politically correct to refer to these as ‘blended’ families. (The story of Cinderella ruined the term ‘step-anything’ for everyone!)

• “Independence Day” in Mexico (“El Grito de Independencia”), celebrating the declaration of independence from Spain in 1810. Fiesta!

• “Apple Dumpling Day”, celebrating the tasty Fall treat that consists of pastry filled with sweet, delicious apples. (Don’t forget the ice cream!)

• “Wife Appreciation Day”,  an annual ‘holiday’ that reminds husbands and partners to show that significant other just how much she means to you.

• “National Neighborhood Day”, established to reinforce the relationships that form the fabric of our communities. It is a day of simple gatherings to share food, fellowship and fun while re-kindling friendships; welcoming new neighbors; catching up on each others’ families, interests and needs (and trying to learn their ‘business’?)

1954 [63] Famous photo of screen siren Marilyn Monroe, laughing as her skirt is blown up by the blast from a subway vent, is shot during the filming of “The Seven Year Itch” (it infuriates her husband, Joe DiMaggio, and they divorce shortly afterward)

1994 [23] Earliest known recording of John Lennon, a performance by the Quarrymen at a St. Peter’s parish garden party in 1957 Liverpool, fetches $125,000 at a Sotheby’s auction

2004 [13] Johnny Ramone, lead guitarist of The Ramones, dies of prostate cancer at 55

2004 [13] National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman announces a lockout of the players union and cessation of operations by the NHL head office

2008 [09] NYC-based financial services firm Lehman Bros files the largest bankruptcy filing in US history, eventually contributing to a global financial meltdown and recession


✓ In the 1700s, people used breadcrumbs to erase pencil mistakes.
✓ Bears have favorite trees and will walk for miles just to scratch their backs on them.
✓ Bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest.
✓ At least two-thirds of wisdom teeth extractions are unnecessary.
✓ Professional baseball players have an average visual acuity of 20/12, much better than the “good” 20/20 vision most people have.
✓ The average intelligence of humans has risen 20 IQ points since 1950.

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Relatives’ Towns” routing option.
• I have a hard time distinguishing the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t understand a word they said?
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

☎ My Neighbors Probably Hate Me Because ________.

I was at the park and wondered, ‘Why does that frisbee keep looking bigger and bigger?’  And then it hit me.

Question:  Houses that have this one particular thing are 40% harder to sell. What is it?
Answer:  The number 13 anywhere in the address

Life is a roller coaster.  It has it’s ups and downs.  It’s your choice to scream or to enjoy the ride.

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