Monday, September 17, 2012        Edition: #4831

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

• HBO’s “Game of Thrones” led winners at the “Creative Arts Emmys” on Saturday, taking 6 awards. NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” won 4, the same as the Charles Dickens drama “Great Expectations” on PBS, and Discovery Channel’s nature documentary “Frozen Planet”. Actress Kathy Bates was honored as ‘Best Guest Actor’ for channeling Charlie Sheen on CBS-TV’s “Two-and-a-Half Men”. (Basically these are the real talent awards that won’t be aired as part of the big “Emmy Awards” show September 23rd.)
• “Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston says he once had a girlfriend he briefly considered murdering after the drug-addled mess refused to accept that their relationship was over. Quote: “I had an out of body experience and at that moment, I realized that, given the right circumstances, I was capable of doing very bad things.” (Whoa, ‘Walter White’ just got a whole lot creepier than he already seemed!)
– “Men’s Journal”
• Sometime actress Amanda Bynes may have more problems than a couple recent cases of DUI. People at her West Hollywood gym say she arrived last Thursday looking dazed and began speaking with herself, making comments and then answering back. And neighbors report seeing her having long conversations with inanimate objects. (In Hollywood, this is known as ‘auditioning’.)
• Actress Eva Longoria (37) and her NY Jets quarterback-boyfriend Mark Sanchez (25) have been spotted together in public for the first time, leaving NYC’s Ritz Carlton hotel hand-in-hand, looking very much the couple. The former “Desperate Housewives” star has a history of relationships with younger guys, including Eduardo Cruz (27) and former husband Tony Parker, who was 7 years her junior. (For Sanchez, it’s another touchdown completion!)
• Kristen Stewart has reportedly been forgiven by Robert Pattinson for her infidelity with “Snow White & The Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders. According to a tabloid story, the “Twilight Saga” co-stars met up for a tearful heart-to-heart which ended with him forgiving her for the ‘stupid mistake’. A source says the pair are now living together again, setting up home in a secluded LA compound, the same one where Brangelina are said to have a place. (At last, we can all sleep peacefully again.)
• And a spokesperson for Britain’s Prince William & wife Catherine says the royals will press on with their Diamond Jubilee tour of Southeast Asia despite the headline-grabbing topless photos of a sunbathing Duchess of Cambridge published by French magazine “Closer”. On Saturday, an Irish tabloid also printed the pics. A breach of privacy lawsuit has been filed in an attempt to prevent an Italian publication from doing so. (What’s the point of filing a lawsuit when they’re already plastered all over the Internet?)
– “Sunday Mirror”

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – fun. (“Some Nights”).
• “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC) – Luke Bryan & Kimberly Perry (The Band Perry) host highlights of the 4-day event held in June; performances by Blake Shelton, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Jason Aldean, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Miranda Lambert, Rascal Flatts, and Zac Brown Band among others.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kellie Pickler (“100 Proof”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Season debut at a new time (7 pm) features Rick Mercer, Colin Mochrie.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Kreayshawn (“Young, Rich & Flashy”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jessie Baylin (“Little Spark”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Lianne La Havas (“Is Your Love Big Enough?”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Of Gentlemen & Cowards (“Threads”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Nelly Furtado (“The Spirit Indestructible”).
• “Revolution (NBC/CityTV) – Broadcast premiere of a new JJ Abrams sci-fi dramatic series about a family that struggles to reunite after a 15-year worldwide blackout. Stars Daniella Alonso, Billy Burke, Tracy Spiridakos.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Rascal Flatts (“Changed”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) –  Prince (“Welcome 2 Chicago”, beginning September 24th).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Blind auditions continue.

• Adele – confirms that she’s been tapped to record the theme song to the new ‘James Bond’ film “Skyfall”, a tune also reportedly called “Skyfall”. The movie’s in theaters November 9th.
• The Civil Wars – Their debut album “Barton Hollow” has just been certified RIAA Gold, selling more than 500,000 copies since its February 2011 release.
• Pistol Annies – Ashley Monroe is engaged to baseball player-boyfriend John Danks (Chicago White Sox) after he spelled out the words “Will you marry me?” on their bed … in rose petals.
• Rascal Flatts – Today they receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame during a ceremony starting at 11:30 am PDT.
• Santana – Carlos Santana has inked a deal to publish his memoir, which is expected to offer anecdotes about friends and peers such as Eric Clapton, Herbie Hancock, and Miles Davis. It’s scheduled for publication in 2014.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan has just opened a tea house called Madame ZuZu’s in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park. He describes it as a spot where you might see somebody’s art show, or hear someone speak on the subject of archeology or homeopathy.
• Taylor Swift – She’s atop this week’s ‘Billboard Hot 100’ singles chart with her latest hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”.
• Usher – An Atlanta GA judge has denied ex-wife Tameka Foster’s request for a retrial in their child custody dispute. The singer was granted primary custody of the former couple’s sons, Usher V (4) and Naviyd (3) earlier this month after a bitter court battle.

Can you get through an entire day without checking email, texts, your Facebook and/or Twitter accounts? Odds are, you can’t … because you’re addicted. The problem is dopamine, a chemical that controls the ‘pleasure’ part of the brain, so we seek out things that activate it. But new research suggests dopamine also makes us curious, search out new information, and respond when something is unpredictable … all things that electronic interaction can provide. Apparently, the shorter the message, the more dopamine kicks in. So, Twitter is perfect to get our dopamine system juiced. (Step 1 of the ‘7 Step Program’ … turn your phone off.)
– “Psychology Today”

Why does coffee never taste as good as it smells? University of London scientists have found  that 80% of what we think of as taste actually reaches us through smell receptors in our nose. These receptors react to odors differently depending on whether they enter the nose from the inside or the outside. So the smell coffee in a mug is completely different from our ‘2nd sense of smell’ … the burst of aroma up the back of the nose from inside the mouth. In contrast, some cheeses smell revolting but taste delicious because their whiff seems more pleasant to us when passing out of the nose than in. Only 2 known aromas – chocolate and lavender – are perceived in exactly the same way whether they enter the nose from the inside or out. (This all explains why coffee smells fab in the morning but someone else’s coffee breath is … ick!)
– “Daily Telegraph”

In 2008, Japan passed a law designed to combat ‘metabolic syndrome’, also known as ‘pre-diabetes’. This so-called ‘Metabo Law’ requires overweight individuals, or individuals who show signs of weight-related illnesses, to go to dieting classes. If they fail to attend classes, the companies that employ them and/or the local governments of the areas in which they live must pay fines to the federal government. In addition, companies with more than a stipulated percentage of overweight employees are fined directly. (Should we have a ‘fat tax’ here? How would it work?)
– “The Atlantic”

A couple ways bad stuff’s being turned into good stuff …
✓ Someday oil spills could be cleaned up using … magnets. Researchers at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have developed a new technique for magnetically separating oil and water. The technique uses nanoparticles that turn the oil into magnetic ferrofluids. It’s thought that the system could be used to both reduce clean-up costs after accidental spills and to also recover the spilled oil for reuse.
– “The Guardian”
✓ Americans throw away nearly half their food and recycle only about 34% of waste. In Sweden, by contrast, only 4% of waste from households ends up in landfills. In fact, burning waste powers 20% of the country’s heating as well as supplying electricity for a quarter-million homes. Because it has become so good at recycling, Sweden now is actually importing 800,000 tonnes of trash each year from other countries, in order to power its waste-to-energy program.

In retail product development, just 4% of new items succeed. A few that didn’t …
✗ Microwave Sundaes
✗ Aerosol Mustard
✗ 7-Up Lip Balm
✗ Parsnip Chips
✗ Garlic Cake in a Jar
✗ Gerber Food for Adults
✗ Vaseline Aftershave
– “New Products Showcase”

There have been 96 documented attempts to stow away in the landing gear of airplanes since 1947, of which 76% have proven fatal.
– BBC News


1960 [52] Kevin Clash, Baltimore MD, TV show ‘Muppet captain’ (‘Elmo’ on “Sesame Street” since 1985)/author (“My Life As a Furry Red Monster”)

1962 [50] Baz Luhrmann, Sydney, Australia, movie director-writer-producer (“Australia”, Moulin Rouge”)

1979 [33] Chuck Comeau, Montréal QC, punk-pop drummer (Simple Plan-“Untitled [How Could This Happen to Me?]”, “Welcome to My Life”)

1985 [27] Jon Walker, Chicago IL, pop-rock musician (Panic At the Disco-“Nine In the Afternoon”, “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”)

• “American Citizenship Day” (aka “US Constitution Day” and “I Am An American Day”) focusing on the rights & responsibilities of American citizens. The choice of September 17th for this observance commemorates the date in 1787 when the US Constitution was signed in Philadelphia PA and celebrates the oldest working constitution in the world.

• “Apple Dumpling Day”, celebrating the tasty Fall treat that consists of pastry filled with sweet, delicious apples. (Don’t forget the ice cream!)

• “Prostate Cancer Awareness Week” begins. An estimated 1-in-8 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.

1972 [40] “M*A*S*H” premieres on CBS-TV (lasts 11 seasons; the finalé setting a record as highest-rated TV episode)

2002 [10] 27-year-old gun-toting musician Vinicius dos Santos forces a Brazilian radio station to play his debut album for 70 minutes before surrendering to police (how’s your studio security?)

1920 [92] The NFL is organized in Canton OH as 12 teams pay a fee of $100 each to obtain franchises (by contrast, the Houston Texans expansion franchise cost $700 million in 2002)

2011 [01] The ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement begins in NYC’s Zucotti Park (lasts 2 months; think it had any long-lasting impact?)

1994 [18] ‘World’s Largest Burrito’ weighs in at 3,960 lbs and measures 3,055-ft-long, in Montebello, California

[Tues] World Water Monitoring Day
[Tues] Respect Day
[Tues] ADD Awareness Day
[Tues] Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day
[Tues] “Nowhere But Up: The Story of Justin Bieber’s Mom” is published
[Wed] Talk Like a Pirate Day

Adult Daycare Center Week / Balance Awareness Week / Build A Better Image Week / Clean Hands Week / Deaf Awareness Week / Farm & Ranch Safety & Health Week / Love Your Files Week / Pollution Prevention Week / Screen Turn Off Week / Singles Week / Tolkien Week


A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
■ Green – You’re an optimistic, well-adjusted joiner who likes the good things in life. (Only someone really  materialistic could want a money-colored vehicle.)
■ Red – You are impulsive, athletic, and quick to speak your mind, but suffer emotional ups and downs. (Most likely to give another driver the dastardly digit.)
■ Blue – You’re relaxed and at peace with yourself. (No wonder you only drive so damn slow … move it, gramps!)
■ Brown – You’re conservative and like to plan everything out carefully. (Like never having to wash your car.)
■ White – You’re honest, nurturing, supportive, and need to feel needed. (You’re a mom.)
– First published in “BS” 1996.

☎ If it were available, would you use a robot to walk your dog? (In a new Eurobarometer poll, fully 69% of Europeans say ‘no’.)

How much of the freshwater used by North Americans can be attributed to leaky toilets and faucets?
a. 1%
b. 3%
c. 5% [CORRECT]
– “New Woman Magazine”

I have a theory that it is impossible to prove anything … but I can’t prove it.

Question: More than 1-in-10 of us have to put up with THIS unfortunate situation at work.
Answer: A stinky co-worker.

Beat the 5 o’clock rush … leave work at noon!

“BS” salutes new subscribers Tommy D Kat @ Rock 101 [KLOL] Houston TX; and Marc Teskey @ 104.5 CJTT Temiskaming Shores ON; and we welcome this week’s samplers who include Craig Richards @ Super Country 99.9 [WZBB] Rocky Mount/Martinsville VA; Kyle Mandapat @ Power 98 [KZGZ] Hagatna, Guam; Bill Hollowell @ Kiss 104.1 [WALR] Atlanta GA; and Trixie Rios @ Majic 95.1 [WAJI] Fort Wayne IN. Welcome, all!

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