Wednesday, September 17, 2014        Edition: #5307

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

★ To celebrate the 20th anniversary of the “Friends” series premiere, Warner Bros Television and Eight O’Clock Coffee are teaming up to offer fans a unique experience in Manhattan. A fully-functioning replica of ‘Central Perk’, the coffee shop frequented by the show’s characters, is serving up free coffee beginning today. Guests can check out signature props from the series in a decorated storefront, relax on the iconic orange “Friends” couch, and win prizes. The pop-up shop on NYC’s Lafayette Street remains open through October 18th. (“Friends” premiered on NBC-TV September 22, 1994 and ran through May 6, 2004.)
★ 65-year-old French actor Gerard Depardieu (“Life of Pi”, “Green Card”) brags in Britain’s “Daily Mirror” newspaper that he can drink up to 14 bottles of wine in a single day. Depardieu, who underwent heart surgery in 2000, admits he often starts the day by drinking Champagne in the morning and then progresses through pastis (liqueur), beer, more wine with meals, and later on vodka and/or whiskey. Quote: “When I’m bored, I drink.” (This goes a long way to explaining his 17 motorbike accidents – no BS – not to mention the arrest for peeing in an airline seat.)
★ He’s now 77 and retired but for a generation of TV viewers Bill Cosby was the quintessential dad, ‘Dr Cliff Huxtable’ on family sitcom “The Cosby Show” (1984-92). However, according to an explosive new tell-all, the real Cosby lived an off-camera life that was definitely not family-friendly. The unauthorized biography “Cosby: His Life & Times” by Mark Whitaker is out this week and it offers up juicy details about Cosby’s secret girlfriends, sexual assault claims, and even an alleged love child. In 2004, for instance, 13 women accused Cosby of drugging and sexually assaulting them in a civil lawsuit that was later settled under sealed terms. If half the claims in the book are true, clearly Cosby in his prime was one superstar who indulged his roving eye. (Clearly he had excellent PR people.)

• Americana Honors & Awards (Nashville TN) – Jim Lauderdale again hosts as the 13th annual roots music awards show is held at the Ryman Auditorium. Rosanne Cash, Jason Isbell, and Robert Ellis lead nominations with 2 apiece. Loretta Lynn, Jackson Browne, Flaco Jiménez, and Taj Mahal each receive a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’. NPR Music is webcasting the gala live. The awards show is part of the annual Americana Festival, which continues through Saturday.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Ed Sheeran, Jennifer Hudson, Lenny Kravitz, Pitbull, and Train perform; host Nick Cannon reveals the winner (finally!).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Old Crow Medicine Show (“Remedy”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bastille (“All This Bad Blood”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Paolo Nutini (“Caustic Love”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kaiser Chiefs (“Education, Education, Education & War”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Grouplove (“Spreading Rumours”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Lyle Lovett (“Release Me”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Smokey Robinson (“Smokey & Friends”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Tim McGraw (“Sundown Heaven Town”).

• Bon Jovi – Photographer David Bergman’s new coffee table book of black-and-white photos, “Bon Jovi: Work”, offers a rare, behind-the-scenes look at the band during 2 world tours from 2010-13. Do you like the band? Do you like ’em $125-worth?
• Coldplay – Tonight they perform a special intimate concert at The Theatre at Ace Hotel Downtown Los Angeles. A live broadcast of the performance is being carried on CBS Radio and via the app.
• Foo Fighters – Tonight they keep their promise to play a crowd-sourced concert in Richmond VA at a venue that only holds 1,500 people. Earlier this year, Foo fans bought up tickets to the hypothetical show, hoping to convince the band to play there. The Foo’s new album “Sonic Highways” is due out November 10th.
• Jason Mraz – Tonight at Brooklyn Center for Performing Arts he begins a special NYC residency in support of his new album “Yes!”. “The Five Boroughs Tour” also includes shows in The Bronx, Queens, Staten Island, and Manhattan, where it wraps with a 2-night stand at Radio City Music Hall September 22-23.
• Lana Del Rey – She’s just cancelled all her European performance and promotional commitments for this week due to an unnamed illness. It’s yet to be confirmed if she’ll perform a scheduled gig at the Music Midtown festival in Atlanta GA this weekend.
• Lykke Li – Tonight the Swedish indie pop singer-songwriter kicks off a brief North American tour in Seattle WA in support of her latest release, “I Never Learn”. The trek runs through October 9th in Orlando FL.
• Robin Thicke – He’s embroiled in a legal dispute with Marvin Gaye’s children who accuse him, Pharrell Williams, and TI of copying their late father’s song “Got to Give it Up” in the mega-hit “Blurred Lines”. In a new deposition he claims he had almost no hand in writing the song as he was ‘high and drunk’. Thicke now insists Pharrell ‘geniused the whole thing’, despite the fact that Thicke received about 20% of the royalties. (This is known as being a weasel.)
• U2 – To put it mildly, the ‘free gift’ of “Songs of Innocence” hasn’t been warmly received by everyone. So Apple has released a new one-click tool to delete the U2 album you didn’t want. Using the tool permanently removes the music from your iTunes library and purchase history. Apple has even set up a support website to guide people through the process.

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 81% of all vegetarians are women. (The other 19% are birds.)
• 58% of us fantasize about someone else during sex, women more than men. (Many fantasize about an actual partner.)
• 41% of women say their idea of the perfect romantic getaway is an isolated mountain cabin. (29% say they might even consider bringing their husband along.)
• 33% of us sleep on our right sides, 26% on the left. (19% at our desks.)
• 15% of mothers are most self-conscious about how old they look during the daily school run. (Not due to the 3rd-graders … it’s the other moms.)
• 14% of us regularly eat a ‘full’ breakfast every day. (Meaning coffee and a doughnut.)

In the Chinese city of Chongqing, a ‘smartphone lane’ has been created for pedestrians who can’t wait to play on their devices. An experimental 50-meter route has been mapped out with 2 lanes on the sidewalk, one prohibiting mobile phone use and the other allowing it ‘at the owner’s risk’. The idea was apparently to give texters a separate lane to avoid collisions, but observers say the smartphone junkies don’t even seem to notice the special pavement markings because … they’re texting all the time. A spokesman for the experiment says the lanes are meant to be ‘ironic’ and serve to remind people it’s dangerous to tweet while walking. (We’re guessing they haven’t looked up long enough to get that either.)
– “Metro”

According to statistical breakdowns, these factors are most likely to help you score a date online …
✓ Being Multiracial (Asian-Caucasian, African-Hispanic, etc) – It’s thought that daters may be influenced by how the media portrays mixed-race people as exotic and sexually appealing.
✓ Using the Right Buzzwords – A study of 12,000 profiles has found that women who use the words ‘ambitious’, ‘sweet’, and ‘thoughtful’ are more often messaged, as are guys who describe themselves as ‘ambitious’, ‘passionate’, and ‘physically fit’.
✓ Taking Your Profile Pic Outside – A study by online dating site Zoosk has found that males who use a non-selfie taken outdoors as their profile picture have a 19% increase in messages.
✓ Having White Teeth – 71% of women and 58% of men rank nice teeth as a ‘must-have’ in a survey of singles by Market Tools Inc.
✓ Bragging on Your Bod’ – Men rate the ‘stomach’ as the most important feature in a woman’s profile picture. Men who list themselves as ‘athletic’ in their profile are most desirable to women.
✓ An Interest in Physical Activity – According to “Wired”, out of 1,000 possible sporting activities, ‘surfing’ is the top sport that boosts dating appeal for men. For women, it’s ‘yoga’.
✓ Including Emoticons – Another study by Zoosk finds positive reaction to the use of emoticons, particularly ‘the nose’ :-). Oddly, it generates 13% more positive responses.

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Defensive Architecture’ – Architectural designs and features that aim to deter unsanctioned uses of public spaces or buildings: Narrow, slanted bus shelter seats not suitable for sitting on, let alone sleeping on; park benches with armrests that make it impossible to recline, etc.
• ‘Space Shift’ – To play media on a device other than the one on which it is stored. (“Hey, I gotta show you some pics from my vacation. I’ll just open them up from iCloud on my new smart stapler.”)
• ‘Thutts’ – The flabby area between the thighs and the buttocks, caused by excessive weight and lack of muscle tone. Yep, now it seems you need a special workout to slim your big fat thutts.

• They’re supposed to speak with confidence, even when unsure what they’re saying is true.
• They sometimes purposely hang up on people and pretend that it’s an accident.
• They sometimes put people hold for an incredibly long time hoping they’ll hang up.
• They sometimes give wrong information just to get people off the phone.
• Most people working in call centers have at least a 4-year undergraduate degree.
• All the rules & regulations in a call center can make the job feel like high school.
• Sometimes the supervisor doesn’t want to talk to an irate customer, leaving the operator to figure out a clever way to get the fuming caller off the line.
• Sometimes it’s unclear which information they can and cannot release, another reason they have to put people on hold.
• They sometimes mute customers to ‘look for more information’ when actually just taking a bite of a sandwich.
• Constantly being micro-managed by supervisors makes them want to scream.
– Condensed from

Body fat and age have a greater effect on blood pressure than salt.
– “American Journal of Hypertension”


1962 [52] Baz Luhrmann, Sydney, Australia, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“The Great Gatsby”, “Moulin Rouge”)

1965 [49] Bryan Singer, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“Superman Returns”, “X-Men” movies)

1979 [35] Chuck Comeau, Montréal QC, punk-pop drummer (Simple Plan-“Untitled [How Could This Happen to Me?]”, “Welcome to My Life”)

1985 [29] Jon Walker, Chicago IL, pop-rock musician (Panic At the Disco-“Nine In the Afternoon”, “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”)

• “Apple Dumpling Day”, celebrating the tasty Fall treat that consists of pastry filled with sweet, delicious apples. (Don’t forget the ice cream!)

• “International Country Music Day”, established in the 1950s to promote country music and to unite its fans all over the world.

• “Rehabilitation Day” on the 3rd Wednesday of September, an annual salute to those who help to enhance and restore functional ability and quality of life to those with physical impairments or disabilities.

• “School Backpack Awareness Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Wednesday of September to remind parents  and teachers of the physical repercussions of students trying to heft  overweight backpacks. As a rule of thumb, a backpack should weigh no more than 10% of the student’s body weight.

1972 [42] “M*A*S*H” premieres on CBS-TV (lasts 11 seasons; the finalé setting a record as all-time highest-rated TV series episode)

1920 [94] The NFL is organized in Canton OH as 12 teams pay a fee of $100 each to obtain franchises (by contrast, the Buffalo Bills are currently seeking a buyer at $1 billion)

2011 [03] The ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement begins in NYC’s Zucotti Park (lasts 2 months; think it had any long-lasting impact?)

[Thurs] Scottish independence referendum
[Thurs] Cheeseburger Day
[Thurs] World Water Monitoring Day
[Fri] “A Walk Among the Tombstones”; “The Guest”; The Maze Runner”; “This is Where I Leave You”; “Tusk” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Talk Like a Pirate Day
This Week Is … Balance Awareness Week
This Month Is … Children’s Good Manners Month


Think you’ll try any of these?
• Australia – Vegemite on toast. Vegemite is a dark brown food paste made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives.
• Haiti – Voodoo practitioners insert 13 pins into the cork of the bottle that caused the hangover, ostensibly expelling the aches and nausea associated with excessive alcohol consumption.
• Hungary – Sparrow droppings in brandy. Yes, you heard that right. Bottoms up!
• Italy – Believe it or not, a dried bull’s penis is the traditional snack of choice for hungover Sicilians.
• Japan – ‘Umeboshi’, which is pickled, dried Japanese apricot. It is extremely sour, to the point of puckering the mouth.
• Mongolia – The traditional hangover remedy is only for the most rugged drinkers: a glass of tomato juice … with a pickled sheep eyeball.
• Namibia – The popular remedy is called ‘Buffalo Milk’, a mixture of clotted cream, dark rum, spiced rum, cream liqueur, and whole cream.
• Poland – One of the most popular cures is pickle juice. When it hits your bloodstream, your body starts building up water, solving the dehydration problem.
• Scotland – A ‘Fry Up’ breakfast of bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, and tomatoes. It is usually washed down with a tall can of Irn-Bru, a century’s old carbonated hangover soft drink.
• Thailand – A bowl of spicy noodle soup topped with beef, fish balls, pork, chicken, duck or … pigs blood.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s something you regret not doing sooner?

Which grows at the rate of 1½ inches (3.8 cm) per year?
a. Your hair.
b. Your fingernails. [CORRECT. That’s 0.000000047 inches a second.]
c. The circumference of your thighs.
– “Trivia Quest”

They put a new machine in at my gym that provides all my needs. KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers.

Question: Some 2,000 people per year go to Emergency Rooms due to injuries from THESE.
Answer: Houseplants.

Clothes are just armor for your every day battles, to protect yourself from judgment.

Printer Friendly Version