Monday, September 18, 2017        Edition: #6057

We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

★ Jamie Lee Curtis is returning to the horror franchise that helped make her a star.  She has signed on to reprise her role in the upcoming ‘Halloween’ remake. Curtis will be back as Laurie Strode in next year’s revamp, which has been timed to tie in with the 40th anniversary of the original. The Halloween reboot will hit cinemas Oct. 19, 2018.
★ Mario Lopez was assaulted by a fellow spa goer who smashed his phone and got so aggressive that cops had to be called. The story is that Lopez was working out at the Planet Hollywood Spa in Las Vegas Friday, and as he was leaving the washroom, he bumped into a man… and things escalated quickly.  An employee was able to step between them before things got physical.  Mario had left his phone on a bench, and said he just wanted to get it and leave. That’s when the guy grabbed the phone and threw it against a wall, smashing it to pieces.
★ Lisa Marie Presley’s name is being dragged through the mud…again.  This time, she is being accused of destroying Elvis’ charitable foundations. An insider claims that not only is she throwing her father’s money away by spending millions of dollars going in and out of rehab, she is also staining his legacy.  Lisa Marie is head of the ‘Presley Foundation’ which was set up to provide low-cost housing and feed the poor.  The foundation has less than $26 in its bank account.
(Elvis’ money has left the building…)
★According to ‘Family Guy’ creator Seth MacFarlane, Adrien Brody can’t take a joke.  Macfarlane says that Brody was not very pleased about a Family Guy gag where an audience watched Brody do sit-ups in a film, but because it was in 3D, it appeared as if a giant nose was attacking them.  MacFarlane approached Brody at a party long after the fact and said “I hope there’s no hard feelings.”According to McFarlane, it turns out “There are. There are some hard feelings.”
(Have you seen ‘Family Guy’?  Brody got off easy!)
★ (***NOTE CONTENT***) Stephen King was terrified by the changes made to his story in the big screen adaptation of his classic novel ‘It’.  Producer Barbara Muschietti says King specifically referred to a scene in which one of the young children was terrorized by a woman from an old painting.  She says that King emailed saying that he loved the woman in the painting because it scared the (EXPLETIVE) out of him! King didn’t have much involvement in the big screen take on his 1986 book.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Julie Bowen, Kumail Nanjiani, Fall Out Boy
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Demi Lovato, John Cleese
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Second Anniversary Special
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Nicolle Wallace, Daru Jones ( R )
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lonzo Ball, Sonequa Martin-Green, Prof. Robert Winston
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Fred Savage, Paula Patton, Shane Torres
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Keith Morrison, Tamra Judge
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Candace Cameron Bure, Jodie Sweetin, Andrea Barber, Bob Saget, Dave Coulier
• “The Talk” (CBS): Wanda Sykes, Kevin Frazier, guest co-host Garcelle Beauvais
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ben McKenzie, Shonda Rhimes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Justin Theroux, Drew Carey
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): Season 25 Premiere. Judge Len Goodman joins the entire cast for an opening number.
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): “Las Vegas Season Finale” The season’s best Ninjas tackle the last stages of Mount Midoriyama, vying for the $1 million prize.

• U2 – canceled their Saturday concert in St. Louis due to ‘social unrest’.  Police already had their hands full dealing with ongoing protests of a ‘not guilty’ verdict in a police-involved shooting trial, and informed band management that they were not in a “position to provide the standard protection for the audience” that would normally be expected.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl says he ”fell into depression” after he broke his leg two years ago. After falling 12 feet off of a stage, the band carried on with the ”60 more shows” they had lined up, but when they decided to take a break, Grohl struggled to cope with his recovery and life without the band and music.
• Paul McCartney – welcomed surprise guests Bruce Springsteen and Steven Van Zandt onstage Friday during his Madison Square Garden show to play the Beatles’ ‘Please Please Me’ and two performances of “I Saw Her Standing There.” (Two?)
• Miley Cyrus – doesn’t want to get married. She says she is very happy with her fiance Liam Hemsworth – who she dated on and off from 2009 to 2013, before reconciling in late 2014 – but insists she has ”too much living to do” before she can even think about tying the knot.
• Wu-Tang Clan – It’s possible Martin Shkreli’s $2 million dollar Wu-Tang Clan album isn’t a Wu-Tang album. Shkreli paid a reported $2 million for the sole copy of Wu Tang’s double CD.  Many of those involved in the recording are denying ‘Once Upon a Time in Shaolin’ is an official Wu-Tang project, and is instead, an album from producer Cilvaringz featuring guests from Wu-Tang.
• Ozzy Osbourne –  Don’t hold your breath for a new solo album from Ozzy.  According to him, “I would like to do another record, but it’s wasting money. Nobody’s buying.”
• Sam Hunt – will be awarded the first ever ‘Song of the Year’ award at the 2017 ‘CMT Artists of the Year’ special for his smash hit “Body Like a Backroad.” In addition to being the longest running No. 1 by a solo artist in the history of Billboard’s Hot Country, the song was 2017’s most downloaded country song and also the country song with the most streams.
•  Lady Antebellum – Hillary Scott has revealed that her twins will be girls. Scott made the big reveal via Instagram.
• Chase Bryant – is engaged.   He got down on one knee and made the proposal to girlfriend Kourtney Keller on the very spot where they shared their first kiss. If that wasn’t romantic enough…he proposed in a rainstorm.

A 2015 study has been making the rounds again these days, which supposedly pinned down the best age at which to get married.  Led by the Institute of Family Studies (IFS) at the University of Utah, the research revealed that couples who marry in their late twenties or early thirties face the lowest odds of divorce.  Specifically, those tying the knot between the ages of 28-32 maximized their chances for a successful union.  Researchers found that the divorce risk is higher when you’re younger (with couples who marry in their teens having the highest chance of divorce), before steadily declining towards your late 20s and early 30s.  Experts have dubbed this 28-32 period the “Goldilocks zone”.  As soon as you’re past that ‘just-right’ age region, however, the divorce risk starts to increase again, with the chance of divorce increasing five per cent for every year after 45 that a marriage begins.
(I went with a different scientific indicator: When she told me it was time!)
(Nailed it…the second time!)
(I would have thought the older you are, the better.  Because you have less time left to screw it up!)

You know it is going to happen.  It’s just a matter of time until all new vehicles on the road will drive themselves.  They just need to perfect the science.  But is that something we want?  A new study by DesRosiers Automotive Consultants finds that only 30% of Canadians would trade their current vehicle for a self-driving one.  But 50% say that they do trust autonomous vehicles to get them to their destination.  The study found younger Canadians and those with higher incomes and education levels are more likely to trust self-driving cars.  Least likely to trust them?  Respondents from Manitoba and Saskatchewan (45.1%).
(Manitoba and Saskatchewan….Really?  But all the roads are straight there!)
(Would you trade your car for a self-driving one?  I’d trade mine for a box of socks!)
(You have to admit that ‘autonomous auto’ has a nice ring to it!)

How did we ever survive before Google?  Here are  Google’s globally most searched ‘how to’ questions:
1. How to tie a tie (There’s an app for that!)
2. How to kiss (You don’t want to be asking computer nerds this question!)
3. How to get pregnant (Or how NOT to?)
4. How to lose weight (For starters, step AWAY from the computer…)
5. How to draw (draw what? Cards? Straws? A bath?)
6. How to make money (Don’t even bother.  It doesn’t work.  All 100 times I’ve tried it!)
7. How to make pancakes (If you have to ask…you don’t deserve pancakes!)
8. How to write a cover letter (Write a salutation. Write the first paragraph, write the body paragraphs, write the final paragraph, end your cover letter.  It’s true….I Googled it!)
9. How to make french toast (Take french bread…and toast it.)
10. How to lose belly fat (Stay away from #7 and #9!)
(I suppose we should all be relieved that the phrase “How to Google something” did not show up on this list.)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
•  6% of us say they’ve called out sick for work in order to binge watch our favorite TV show.
• 60%  of us say a man should never wear short shorts.
• 95% of us say we have no patience for listening to voicemail.
• 32% of guys say they use hairspray on a daily basis.
• 11% of new parents say they’ve fallen asleep in the shower.
• 16% of people of say they have been known to ask for a doggy treat when they go through the drive-thru.
• 5% of people say that they like to eat mac & cheese after a bad day.


1970 [47] Aisha Tyler, San Francisco CA, TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” since 2013, “The Talk” 2011-17)/TV actress (“Bojack Horseman” 2014, “Archer” since 2009)

1971 [46] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Madagascar” movies, “The Matrix” films)/Mrs Will Smith since 1997

1971 [46] Lance Armstrong, Plano TX, disgraced cyclist stripped of 7 consecutive Tour De France titles due to doping

1973 [44] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (“The Butler”, “X-Men” films)

1975 [42] Jason Sudeikis, Fairfax VA, comedian/comedy writer (“Portlandia” 2011-14, “Saturday Night Live” 2005-12)/movie actor (“Hall Pass”, “Horrible Bosses”)

1977 [40] Barrett Foa, NYC, TV actor (‘Eric Beale’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)

1993 [24] Patrick Schwarzenegger, Los Angeles CA, model (Son of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver who has modeled for Ralph Lauren and Armani).

• “Cheeseburger Day”, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. According to the book “Hamburger Heaven: The Illustrated History Of the Hamburger”, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg’ was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA in 1926.
• “Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day”, saluting the anonymous and often under-appreciated wordsmiths who say the things we have trouble expressing. (Thanks for saving our bacon on numerous occasions!)
• “World Water Monitoring Day”, an international effort to encourage involvement in protecting water resources around-the-world by encouraging the public to conduct basic monitoring of their local bodies of water. (So how’s the pond scum looking today?)
• “Chiropractic Founder’s Day”, the first chiropractic adjustment was given by Dr. DD Palmer to a janitor named Harvey Lillard.  Harvey had lost most of his hearing 17 years earlier after hearing a popping sound in his neck.  Dr. Palmer determined that a bone was out of place in the janitor’s neck.  After some discussion, “Dr. DD”, decided to move the bone back into place to see if that would help. This primitive first chiropractic adjustment resulted in Harvey getting his hearing back, and the chiropractic profession was born.
• “Rice Krispies Treats Day”, a combination of butter or margarine and melted marshmallows or marshmallow creme. Two Kellogg’s employees, Malitta Jensen and Mildred Day, are credited with the invention in 1939 as a promotional vehicle for the cereal. (Is it a coincidence that ‘snap, crackle and pop’ and ‘Chiropractic Founders Day’ are celebrated together??)

[Tues] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Tues] Butterscotch Pudding Day
[Wed] Gibberish Day
[Wed] National Punch Day
This Week Is…National Singles Week
This Month Is…National Sewing Month


1965 [52] ‘I Dream of Jeannie’, starring Barbara Eden as a 2,000-year-old genie, and Larry Hagman as an astronaut who becomes her master, premieres on NBC

1985 [32] First-ever ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night With David Letterman” is titled ‘Top 10 Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’ (#1 is ‘Meats’. Um, maybe it’s in the delivery?)

1970 [47] legendary guitarist Jimi Hendrix dies from asphyxiation at 27

2004 [13] Britney Spears weds Kevin Federline in a low-key ceremony at a private home in Studio City CA, her 2nd wedding in 9 months (they divorce in 2007)

1999 [18] 1st husband & wife to swap genders, each undergoing a sex-change operation in Hungary (“I couldn’t stand my husband … so now she’s my wife”)

2009 [08] The 72-year run of radio-turned-TV soap opera “The Guiding Light” ends as its final episode airs (CBS)


✓ Standing like a superhero for two minutes configures your brain to cope well in stressful situations.
✓ There are more combinations for a deck of playing cards than there have been seconds since the beginning of time as we know it.
✓ Scientists usually omit left-handed people from tests because their brain works differently.
✓ It costs less than $1 a year to keep your smartphone charged up.
✓ More people have died taking selfies than from shark attacks.
✓ 35 years after leaving school, the majority of people can still identify 90% of their classmates.

➵ Assistant to the Regional Superhero
➵ Captain Backseat Driver
➵ I Told-You-So-Boy
➵ The Edible Hulk
➵ Garfunkel Boy
➵ He-Man Bun
➵ Soup or Salad Man
➵ Need-to-be-Home-by-Six Boy
➵ PMS Woman
➵ The Passive Aggressor
➵ Left Shark


With the rise in popularity of self-driving vehicles, you know there will eventually be a country song about how your truck left you too.

This can weigh as much as 9 pounds.  What?
a. An elephant’s tooth [CORRECT].
b. The common fox.
c. A molted snake skin
– TheFactSite

☎ What’s something you thought as a child that you realize today is ridiculous?

Question: 40% of husbands say when it comes to THIS…their wives do a much better job. What is it?
Answer: Negotiating to buy a new car.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.  Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Nate Power @ CCKC, Dartmouth NS; Nick Boykiw @ 102.9 The Drive, Cranbrook BC; Gordon Zlot @ KZST, Santa Rosa CA; Treana Rudock @ CJNE, Nipawin SK;  Rio and Reyes, online San Antonio Texas; Phil Grey @ WAY FM, Launceston Tasmania; Alvin Sinclair @ TRAXX FM Malaysia

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