Monday, September 19, 2011        Edition: #4589
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

• Celebs at last night’s “Emmy Awards” have been sampling treasures from ‘gifting suites’ for several days leading up to the big night. Among the luxury items on offer … all kinds of jewelry, including silver necklaces & bracelets; free trips to Fiji; memory-foam mattresses; and HP’s new TouchPad 1-pound laptops. People who can afford all this crap are given it for free … is that fair?
– “Jam! Showbiz”
• Marc Anthony broke down in tears on his 43rd birthday Friday night as fans at his Miami, Florida concert serenaded him with “Happy Birthday” as soon as he took the stage at the American Airlines Arena. He thanked the crowd for their love and support, saying it means a lot ‘especially this year’. Later he hosted a birthday bash for 150 friends at Viceroy Hotel’s Club 50. He spent Saturday with estranged wife Jennifer Lopez and their twins, Max & Emme.
• Oscar-winning movie “The King’s Speech” has picked up yet another award, a “Humanitas Prize”, which recognizes film and TV writing that promotes human dignity, meaning, and freedom. Other winners at the weekend awards in Beverly Hills, California: the sports drama “Win Win”, starring Paul Giamatti; and the writing team behind TV’s “Modern Family” and “Friday Night Lights”.
• Filmmaker Christopher Nolan is refusing to give out scripts detailing the ending of his 3rd ‘Batman’ movie, “The Dark Knight Rises”, as he’s determined to keep it secret. Most cast members have to go to his office in order to even read the script. Even veterans like star Christian Bale and Gary Oldman (‘Commissioner James Gordon’) have been given scripts with the final few pages missing.
• And movie star Brad Pitt has backtracked from comments made in “Parade” magazine regarding his time with actress Jennifer Aniston. In the interview he said he ‘wasn’t living an interesting life’ at the time and ‘tried to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t’. After a roar of disapproval from Aniston fans, he’s issued a statement clarifying the remarks. Now he says none his unhappiness was her fault and the fact he’d become ‘dull’ was his own responsibility. Is he a real diplomat … or just a wimp?

• ACM Honors (Nashville TN) – Joe Nichols hosts the 5th annual, which recognize special honorees (including Garth Brooks, Reba McEntire, Taylor Swift) and off-camera category winners from the 46th Academy of Country Music Awards, which were handed out April 3rd.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Nicole Scherzinger (“The X Factor”).
• “Dancing With the Stars (ABC/CTV) – The season 13 premiere introduces a new raft of ‘celebrities’, including actor David Arquette (estranged Mr Courteney Cox); LA Lakers player Ron Artest (aka Metta World Peace), transgender celebrity spawn Chaz Bono; George Clooney’s ex-GF Elisabetta Canalis; reality star Kristin Cavallari (“The Hills”); reality star Robert Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”); reality star Carson Kressley (“Queer Eye”); and pop singer Chynna Phillips (Wilson Philips). The new couples perform for the first time.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Harry Connick Jr (“In Concert On Broadway”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Switchfoot (“Vice Verses”, out September 27th).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bruce Springsteen (“The Promise: The Darkness On the Edge of Town Story”). Rerun.
• “The Playboy Club (NBC/CityTV) – Randy Steinmeyer, Eddie Cibrian (Mr LeAnn Rimes), and David Krumholtz star in this 1960s retro-drama that centers around the lives of Playboy bunnies and customers of the original Playboy Club in Chicago IL. The show’s already a target of the Parents Television Council.
• Polaris Music Prize ( – Webcast of the gala at Toronto’s Masonic Temple announcing the 6th annual winner of the $30,000-prize for Canadian album of the year.
• “SheenRoast” (Comedy Central/Comedy Channel) – Hell-raising actor Charlie Sheen is skewered by the likes of “Private Practice” star Kate Walsh, former boxer Mike Tyson, and ubiquitous actor William Shatner. Pretaped to air on the same night as Ashton Kutcher’s “Two-and-a-Half Men” debut.
• “The Sing-off” (NBC) – In the 3rd season debut, 8 of the 16 competing groups perform together. Singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles has signed on as a judge, replacing Nicole Scherzinger, who’s moved on to “The X Factor” (FOX).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Selena Gomez (“When the Sun Goes Down”).
• “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS/CTV2) – The 9th season opens with the funeral of ‘Charlie Harper’, fired actor Charlie Sheen’s character.
• “2 Broke Girls” (CBS/CityTV) – Series debut of a new comedy about a pair of waitresses (Kat Dennings, Beth Behrs) working together in a Brooklyn NY restaurant with the dream of one day opening a cupcake shop.
• “WWE Raw SuperShow” (USA Network) – Movie star Hugh Jackman guests in Cleveland OH, an excuse to preview his new movie, “Real Steal” (opening October 7th), a futuristic boxing drama in which giant robots battle.
• Tonight’s other TV season debuts: “Castle” (ABC/CTV); “Hawaii Five-O” (CBS/Global); “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS/CityTV);

• Fleetwood Mac – Co-founder Mick Fleetwood tells the 1970s-80s band is definitely going to be touring next year, but details are still up in the air. So far, they’ve agreed to start rehearsing for what will likely be an early summer trek.
• Jason Aldean – A farmer in Shelby, North Carolina has created a corn maze in the “Dirt Road Anthem” singer’s likeness for the 10th annual edition of the ‘Shelby Corn Maze’ tourist attraction.
• No Doubt – They’ve announced their new album is going to take a little longer than expected to complete and may not be ready until 2012.
• Rihanna – She’s revealed via Twitter that her 6th album, the follow-up to 2010’s “Loud”, is due for release this fall. No title announced as yet.
• Taylor Swift – Her hometown “Speak Now” gigs at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena over the weekend included surprise guest appearances by Hayley Williams (Paramore), plus country stars Kenny Chesney, Ronnie Dunn, and Tim McGraw.
• TI – He’s been cleared to finish the rest of his 11-month sentence at a halfway house in Atlanta, Georgia. He’s now scheduled to be released September 29th.
• Velvet Revolver – Rocker Sebastian Bach says they should have picked him as frontman instead of Scott Weiland, whom they knew from the start was struggling with ‘personal issues’ (addiction). Weiland was kicked out in 2008 and the band has yet to replace him.

A startup company is now extending social media … to the dead. I-Postmortem Ltd, based in Palo Alto, California, allows clients – while still alive – to create an interactive memorial to themselves through photos, letters, poems, and audio-video files. After death, a client can also send specially-timed messages for birthdays or weddings. The online gravesite remains accessible by any mobile or desktop device in perpetuity … or at least as long as the user’s estate or descendants pay the annual $120-fee.

MSN Travel has expanded on “GQ” magazine’s ranking of worst-dressed cities by adding a few that aren’t really cities at all …
10. Jersey Shore, NJ. Not a city, but a recreational area and TV show. We wonder, how can the ‘orange people’ be worst-dressed when they rarely wear clothes?
9. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The best-dressed people in town are Pirates, Penguins, and Steelers … and they’re wearing uniforms.
8. Ottawa, Ontario gets a listing thanks to all those stuffed-shirt bureaucrats in the Canadian capital wearing drab suits, geeky brogues, lugging around briefcases. Then there’s the men …
7. San Francisco and Silicon Valley, California. Think Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs.
6. Seattle, Washington. Think Bill Gates.
5. Boston, Massachusetts, said to be where fashion trends go to die. The city is cited specifically due to its inhabitants’ love of hoodies, leggings, and Uggs.
4. Harajuku, Japan. Not a city but an area of Tokyo. Is wearing chopsticks in your hair sanitary?
3. Vancouver, British Columbia. Gets listed for residents’ penchant for wearing yoga pants in public. Comfy but tacky.
2. Maui, Hawaii. Not a city but an island. Hawaiian shirts … ‘nuff said. And aren’t grass skirts a fire hazard?
1. Orlando, Florida. It’s likely the mouse ears that are putting everyone off.

A restaurant owner in Saudi Arabia is cracking down on food wastage by fining diners who don’t eat everything they order. Fahad al Anezi of Dammam says customers often order a large quantity of food as a status symbol at his Marmar Restaurant. Because many clients only make the large orders to impress those around them and boost their social prestige, Al Anezi now calculates fines based on the amount of food left over. He says he’s received support from other Saudis for his idea. (Incentive to quite wasting food … we need this here!)

Denmark has some of the strictest child-naming guidelines in the entire world. In fact, citizens of the country can only select names on a list approved by the government or they must seek permission for an exception to the rule. Right now, the officially approved names list contains only around 7,000 names … about 3,000 for boys and 4,000 for girls. (Among them: ‘Bent’, ‘Storm’, and ‘Mads’.)
– “New York Times”

Actual complaints to travel advisors as collected by the Association of British Travel Agents …
• “On my vacation in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry.”
• “We booked an excursion to a waterpark but no one told us we had to bring our swimsuits.”
• “The beach was too sandy.”
• “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for 5 euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
• “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
• “We had to line up outside with no air conditioning.”
• “I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.”
And then there’s the hotel guest in Australia who complained that the soup was too thick and strong. Turns out he was … slurping the gravy.
– “Sydney Morning Herald”

• 23% of female respondents in a recent “Playboy”/Harris poll say they have been photographed or filmed nude. (But only about 1-in-10 million calls in the FBI when they pics are leaked. We’re talking about you, Scarlett Johansson!)
• Movie theaters in North America grossed more this summer than in any other year, even with the lowest numbers of cinema-goers since 1997. (#1 reason … the price of 3-D tickets.)


1926 [85] James Lipton, Detroit MI, TV host (“Inside the Actor’s Studio” since 1994)

1948 [63] Jeremy Irons, Cowes UK, movie actor (Academy Award-“Reversal of Fortune”, ‘Scar’ in “The Lion King”)/TV actor (“The Borgias”)

1951 [60] Daniel Lanois, Gatineau QC, singer/songwriter/music producer (U2, Peter Gabriel, Gordon Lightfoot)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2005)

1964 [47] Trisha Yearwood, Monticello GA, country singer (“Perfect Love”, “She’s in Love With the Boy”)/Mrs Garth Brooks since 2005

1974 [37] Jimmy Fallon, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (host of NBC-TV’s “Late Night” since 2009, “Saturday Night Live” 1998-2006)/movie actor (“Almost Famous”)

1980 [31] Tegan & Sara Quin, Calgary AB, twin sister singer-songwriters (Tegan & Sara-“Alligator”, “Back In Your Head”)

• “Butterscotch Pudding Day”, apparently because every single thing in existence deserves its own holiday.

• “Evaluate Your Life Day” … followed by ‘Drink Till You Forget What a Loser You Are Night’.

• “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. So here goes … Har’ Billy, hoist that bilge! Avast ya scurvy scum, stow away your jib! Ahoy matey, grab thee a wench! Swab the deck, ya lily-livered landlubbers!

1986 [25] 17-minute 3-D film, “Captain EO” starring Michael Jackson, debuts at Disneyland in Anaheim CA and at Walt Disney World in Orlando FL (the most expensive movie to date, production costs about $1 million … per minute)

1981 [30] Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel reunite for a free concert that attracts 500,000 to NYC’s Central Park (7th-largest concert crowd of all-time)

1893 [118] New Zealand becomes the 1st country in the world to give women the right to vote

[Tues] “Pearl Jam Twenty” documentary screens in movie theaters
[Tues] Season debuts of “The Biggest Loser” (NBC/CityTV)/”Glee” (FOX/Global); “NCIS” (CBS); “NCIS: LA” (CBS/Global); “New Girl” (FOX/CityTV); “Unforgettable” (CBS/CTV); “Raising Hope” (FOX/CityTV); “Body of Proof” (ABC/CityTV)
[Wed] World Alzheimer’s Day

Clean Hands Week / Deaf Awareness Week / Dog Week / Farm & Ranch Safety Week / Love Your Files Week / Pollution Prevention Week / Prostate Cancer Awareness Week / Screen-Free Week / Singles Week / Tolkien Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
This is “National Singles Week”, recognizing the single lifestyle and promoting the option of living alone. Here are just some of the advantages …
• The last cold beer is always yours.
• Sleeping diagonally.
• You can use up all the hot water in the shower.
• If you win a trip for two to Hawaii, you can go twice!
• There’s no conflict if you fall in love with someone else.
• None of those annoying demands for yucky sex.
(Ask listeners for other perks of being single.)
– First published in “BS” 2000.

What dish (and/or drink) should everyone know how to make at home?

For all you haters out there who’ve been trashing the Rebecca Black video for months, you should be ashamed of yourselves. She’s actually been an inspiration to folks around-the-world. Like Rohit, who has done a rap about the malls of Dubai, “Friday”-style …

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it  back.

Question: THIS has half the fat of chicken, one-eighth the fat of beef, and is high in protein.
Answer: Ostrich. (“Men’s Health”)

When tempted to fight fire with fire, always remember the Fire Department uses water.

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